To Heal an Earl

by Aston, Alexa

  Gray kissed the boy’s head and rose. “Rodger was braver than any soldier I fought with.”

  She smiled wistfully. “He would have liked that. He told me he wanted to be a soldier. Just like his Uncle Gray.”

  Gray collapsed on the chair and began sobbing. Charlotte circled around and came to stand next to him. She placed an arm about his heaving shoulders and petted his hair in an attempt to soothe him. He wept for some minutes as she did her best to comfort him.

  Finally, his tears subsided. He stood and brushed his hand over Rodger’s face, closing his eyes, and then brought the sheet up to cover him. He looked at her with red-rimmed eyes.

  “I need a brandy. Will you join me?”

  Charlotte nodded.

  They left the room and went downstairs to the library. A cheery fire burned in the grate, the only light illuminating the room. Gray poured each of them a generous amount and then handed a tumbler to her.

  He raised his. “To Lord Crampton. A very brave boy who would have been a good man. May he now receive the peace he deserves.”

  She tapped her glass to his and swallowed the contents. A river of fire burned her throat, straight to her belly. Warmth spread through her.

  Gray took the crystal from her and set both aside. Without a word, he enfolded her in his arms, his lips meeting hers.

  It was like coming home.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Charlotte had yearned for Gray’s kiss for so long. She’d dreamed of it ever since he’d left. But her memory of it was a weak imitation of what she now experienced.

  He kissed her with aching tenderness, his lips molding to hers. His hands moved up and down her back and she clasped his shoulders, kneading them. The kiss became more urgent, tinged with hunger and desperation. His tongue danced along the seam of her mouth, encouraging her to open to him. She did and it slid inside. Instantly, it was as a match being lit. Fire spread through her every limb. Her heart beat rapidly and she clutched him more tightly.

  The kiss went on and on. Moving her. Branding her.

  As Gray’s . . .

  Her core began pounding fiercely, calling out for his touch. She couldn’t help but think it wicked—and yet she longed for it all the same. Need rippled through her and Charlotte had no idea what to ask for from him, trusting he would lead them in the right direction.

  Gray suddenly swept her into his arms and strode to a large chair, never breaking their kiss. He sat, with her in his lap, and continued his assault. She grew dizzy and hot as she pushed her fingers into his hair. He groaned as she played with the silky strands. He finally broke the kiss and then covered her face with light, butterfly kisses. Her cheeks. Her eyelids. Her brow. His lips went lower as he scorched a path along her jaw and then dropped to her neck, licking, nipping, kissing his way. Delightful shivers ran through her at each touch.

  The onslaught of kisses continued as his hand found her breast and caressed it. Charlotte heard herself whimpering at his touch. Gray pulled her gown down and captured one breast, freeing it from its restraints and taking it hostage with his mouth. He burned fiery kisses onto it before his mouth found her nipple. His tongue encircled it, teasing her, and she cried out his name. Charlotte could feel his smile against her skin. Then he sucked on it, long and hard, causing a dampness to come between her legs. He sucked until she thought she would go mad.

  His mouth sought hers again and the long, drugging kisses went on forever. She stroked his face with her fingers, the slight stubble rough beneath her fingertips. His hand slid along the curve from her waist to her hips and even lower. Gray captured the hem of her gown and tugged it up. His hand slipped under it and glided sensually from her ankle up her calf to her knee. It traveled higher and arrived at where she’d wanted it.

  He cupped her and she moaned.

  Breaking the kiss, he murmured, “You want me, Charlotte. You’re ready for me.”

  “I don’t know what I want,” she said, tears spilling down her cheeks. “I only know I want whatever I can have of you.”

  It was true. She knew he was damaged from his time at war. She was willing, though, to have any part of him that he would give her.

  “You can have all of me,” he said huskily and his mouth took hers again in a searing kiss.

  She kissed him back with everything in her heart, knowing she loved this flawed man—and would never love another.

  As he kissed her, his finger began caressing the seam of her sex and new ripples of heat traveled through her. His pushed a finger inside her. Charlotte thought she should be horrified but she craved his touch too much to protest. He stroked her, his finger mimicking his tongue, and her nails dug into his back. Another finger joined it and Gray slowly began driving her toward madness. She heard sounds coming from her that she’d never uttered.

  His lips dropped to her throat again, circling where her pulse beat wildly. His fingers continued their dance, urging her toward a destination she’d never known existed.

  “Almost there,” he said, his voice low and rough.

  His fingers moved and pushed against something inside her that made her breath catch. He slowly circled and then toyed with it. Charlotte felt a wave about to break within her and gasped.

  Gray stroked it again, murmuring against her throat, “Come, Charlotte. Enjoy your release.”

  She bit her lip. “I’m . . . afraid.”

  He lifted his head, those blue eyes piercing her soul. “I’m here. You need never be afraid again.”

  With that, he kissed her tenderly and suddenly she exploded. An unimaginable pleasure washed over her, spilling from her, as intense waves erupted. She cried out, the sound swallowed by Gray as he devoured her once more in an endless kiss. She shuddered and then went limp, spent.

  He broke the kiss and pressed his lips to her brow, his arms like a wall that kept out the rest of the world. Charlotte’s head dropped to his chest, her cheek burrowing close, feeling the pounding of his heart beneath it. Gray stroked her hair lovingly as she tried to understand what had happened.

  “Are you all right?” he asked, his voice rumbling against her ear.

  “Yes,” she said breathlessly and raised her head to meet his gaze. “What was that?”

  “It’s called an orgasm. Or release.”

  “It was amazing,” she said, reverence in her voice.

  “It can be even better.”

  She chuckled. “I don’t see how.” Then she frowned. “How can I make you feel the same?”

  He kissed her. “Ah, the ever-thoughtful Miss Nott, always wanting to do for others.”

  “No, Gray. I’m serious,” she insisted, her arms looping about his neck, her fingers playing with the hair along his nape. A wave of energy rippled through her and she suddenly felt she could climb a mountain without pause.

  His eyes grew hooded. “Come to my bed and I’ll show you.”

  Could she do that?

  It would be terribly wanton. Something only a married couple should do. But Charlotte knew she would never marry. And she wanted to take a part of this man with her when she left Gray Manor.

  She smiled. “Then let’s make a memory together. Just for us.”

  He stood, bringing her with him. “Just for us,” he echoed and carried her across the room.

  As he reached for the doorknob, she said, “You’ll need to put me down.”

  A wicked gleam flashed in his eyes. “What if I choose not to?”

  In her best governess voice, Charlotte said, “Gray, put me down. There will be servants we will pass. I can’t be seen with you carrying me about.”

  He eased her to the floor, only to push her back against the door, his body pinning her against it. His hands captured her waist, holding her in place as his mouth ravished hers. Her head spun and she was grateful he held her up because her own two feet certainly would have been unable to do so.

  “Gray?” she murmured against his mouth.

  “Hmm?” he asked as he continued to kiss her.
r />   Charlotte turned her head to the side and reminded him. “The bed?”

  He pressed a soft kiss under her jaw. “Yes. The bed,” he agreed and released her, stepping back.

  She swayed slightly and his hands caught her waist again. “Are you certain I shouldn’t carry you?” he asked, one corner of his mouth turning up with mischief.

  “Give me a moment,” she said and took a deep breath. “All right.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yes.”

  Gray removed his hands and watched her. Charlotte turned and grasped the door handle to steady herself. After a moment, she opened the door and took a few steps from the room. He followed. They went up the stairs, only seeing one maid, and then turned right. Reaching his suite, she looked up and down both sides of the corridor as he opened the door and nudged her inside.

  The massive bedchamber reminded her of her father’s at Rumford Park. Candles had been lit and a fire roared, casting off heat. But not as much as Gray’s body. He’d felt like an inferno next to her and his kisses had only heated her further.

  He entwined his fingers with hers and led her across the room, pausing when they reached the bed. Then raising their joined hands, he pressed the softest of kisses upon her knuckles. The gesture moved her and Charlotte had to blink away the tears that sprang to her eyes.

  “May I undress you?”

  She should feel ashamed of her behavior but she wanted the feel of his skin against hers.

  “Only if I may return the favor,” she replied, not bothering to hide her smile.

  His brows shot up and a devilish grin emerged. “You may do anything with me that you like, Charlotte.”

  Her cheeks burned and he laughed softly as he removed her gown, setting it on a nearby chair. With ease, her petticoat and corset joined it, leaving her in her chemise. He bent and pulled her shoes from her feet, followed by the stockings. Then he eased the pins from her hair and it tumbled down her back. He ran his fingers through it numerous times, a pleased look on his face.

  “Would you help me now?”

  She undid his starched cravat and cast it aside before pushing his tailcoat from his shoulders and pulling his arms from it. She unbuttoned his waistcoat and it joined his pile. Her fingers loosened the buttons of his shirt and he helped by pulling it over his head.

  “Oh!”

  Charlotte gazed at the broad, muscled chest in wonder. Did all men look like this? She doubted it for if they did, they would never hide themselves in layers of clothes and parade about bare-chested for the entire world to see.

  “Do you like what you see?” he asked softly.

  “Yes.”

  Her fingers reached out and glided from his belly to his throat. Gray shuddered at her touch. She swirled her palms over him, feeling the muscles move beneath her hands. He emitted a growl and captured her wrists, stilling her hands, and kissing her long and deep. She moved closer to him, pressing her body against his, only the thin chemise between them. She felt her nipples harden and her breasts grow heavy.

  “Help me with my boots.”

  Gray sat on the bed and Charlotte turned her back to him, grabbing the heel of the right boot in her hands. She yanked hard and the boot came off. Repeating the action, she removed the left. He stood and quickly ditched his trousers and stockings as she gaped at him. His erection was something she’d never seen before and curiously, she stretched out a hand and encircled it. He sucked in a quick breath.

  “Is that good?” she asked. “Like when you touched me?” She stroked the hardened shaft to its rounded tip.

  “Yes,” he hissed through gritted teeth and lifted her hand. “That can come later.”

  “How much later?”

  “Patience.”

  By now, she had none. Her body raged as a furnace being fed a steady diet of coal. Charlotte reached for the hem of her chemise and pulled it up, over her head, and tossed it aside. Gray gazed at her lovingly. He might not love her as she did him but she knew she affected him deeply.

  “Charlotte,” he said huskily, taking her in his arms again.

  His erection pressed against her belly as he kissed her until she was breathless. He walked her backward until the back of her knees hit the bed and pushed her down to the soft mattress.

  “I plan to explore every inch of you.”

  She shivered in anticipation. “Then I will do the same to you.” She would see what he did first and imitate him since she had no idea what he meant.

  She soon learned.

  Gray’s hands and mouth probed everywhere on her body. No place was left untouched. Sensations Charlotte had never known came and went, an electricity between them that built to a fever pitch. At first, she merely lay there and enjoyed it but as desire flickered within her, she wanted a more active role. She began touching and tasting him as he did her and they soon lost themselves in a world of their own making.

  His fingers found her sex once again and teased her until she panted. She took his rod in hand firmly and moved her hand up and down it, enjoying the groans that came from him.

  Gray eased her fingers away. “Almost time,” he said, as breathless as she was, and then found the place he’d touched before. “Your sweet pearl,” he murmured, rubbing it until all rational thought vanished.

  “Charlotte, I must tell you that this will hurt the first time,” he warned. “Are you sure it’s what you want?”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  What was a little pain when she had this beautiful man’s body covering hers?

  He increased the pressure and she erupted, the pleasure so intense that she screamed. His mouth covered hers, swallowing the noise, and his fingers left her. Suddenly, something large and hard pushed into her and she shoved his chest, trying to knock him away from her. It didn’t move and neither did he.

  Breaking the kiss, he said, “Just get used to me. I’m sorry it hurt so much but you were so tight.”

  The sharp pain had already subsided and something unnamed built within her. She felt the urge to move and pushed up against him.

  “Ah, you’re ready to begin.”

  “Begin? What have we been doing until now?”

  “Getting started.”

  Gray pushed deeper into her, filling and stretching her. It felt foreign and somehow wonderful at the same time. They both moved and it felt even better. Somehow, their bodies communicated with one another and they began a rhythmic dance. Each thrust brought an exhilarating rush and the pressure inside her built again. She understood it this time, knowing he pushed her toward and over the precipice, where she would fall—and he would catch her.

  They moved faster and faster until Charlotte thought they might be flying and then they were, soaring higher as their bodies came together as one. She moaned. He gasped. They continued until both were spent and he collapsed atop her, driving her into the mattress. She welcomed his weight, her arms tightening about him, never wanting to let go.

  Gray pivoted until they were on their sides, still joined, facing one another. His hand cupped her face and he kissed her sweetly.

  “Charlotte,” he said, her name like a prayer coming from his lips. His forehead touched hers and she inhaled the scent of sandalwood soap, wafting up from his heated skin. It surrounded her. She would never smell it again without thinking of Gray and this moment.

  She kissed him. It would complete the memory of their time together. She tasted him and wished things could be different. That she could spend the rest of her life in this man’s arms.

  It was impossible. He was now Earl of Crampton. She was a lowly servant. He would wed a lady of the ton and they would make a life together. His wife would give him his heir. And hopefully, he would come back to being the man he’d left behind. Charlotte could only hope that tonight, what had happened between them, was the beginning of his healing.

  She broke the kiss. “I must go.”

  His arm tightened. “No. Stay.”

  “Gray, please. I won’t have
your valet find us naked in your bed. Besides, sometimes Jane has a nightmare and comes to me for comfort.”

  “All right. Give me a moment.”

  He rose and came back with a small basin and towel. He dipped the towel in the water and touched it between her legs.

  “What are you doing?” she demanded, suddenly embarrassed at this intimate gesture.

  “You have a little blood on your thighs from where I pierced your maidenhood. I am sorry I had to hurt you, Charlotte. It never hurts after that first time.”

  But there would be no other times between them. She already knew she was hopelessly in love with Gray. The sooner she left, the better. With Rodger’s death, changes would happen quickly. She might even suggest that he take the girls to London for a change of scenery. There, she could find another employment agency and hopefully gain another position quickly.

  He yawned as he finished bathing her and moved the cloth and basin aside. She thought this the best time to approach him, when he’d be more amenable to her suggestion.

  “The girls are going to be very upset about their brother’s death.”

  “I will break the news to them in the morning. Will you be there with me?”

  “Yes. I know you hadn’t planned for them to ever come to London but it might do them good to go there for a week once the funeral is over. Get away from Gray Manor and the memories here.”

  He nodded. “I do think it a good idea. I have a few things I need to do there.”

  She knew she’d called him away from his responsibilities.

  “You will come, too?” he asked, a sliver of doubt in his eyes. “To help with them?”

  “Yes, I’ll accompany you and the girls to London.”

  “Good.” He bent and kissed the tip of her nose. “Let me help you dress again.”

  He stood and offered his hand, pulling her from the bed. She allowed him to dress her, enjoying the feel of his hands on her body. Charlotte decided she would burn in hell for her actions tonight.

  And didn’t care.

  Once he had her dressed, he threw on a dressing gown and belted it, moving to the door and through it.