To Heal an Earl

by Aston, Alexa

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, Miss.”

  “I don’t mind. I make mine every day at Gray Manor.”

  She went and tossed the sheet up, thinking how she and Gray had tangled in them all night. She should be exhausted from their numerous bouts of lovemaking but felt energized instead.

  “Did you come from The Hammond Employment Agency as Mr. Roy and Mrs. Purcell did?”

  “Yes, Miss Nott. Did you?”

  “No, I’ve found my posts through The Plummer Employment Agency. Have you heard of it?”

  The girl nodded. “My cousin used it. It’s two blocks down from Hammond’s.”

  Charlotte fluffed the pillow, having received the information she needed.

  “I’ll come back,” the maid said.

  “No, please stay. I’m going out and will be gone a few hours so you’re free to stay and tidy up.”

  “Thank you, Miss.”

  As the servant took up her duster, Charlotte pinned her hat to her head, thinking of how she’d had to scrounge even under the bed to find the hairpins Gray had loosened last night. She wrapped her cloak about her, trying to push away memories from the long, sweet night.

  For now.

  She left the Mayfair townhouse and, from yesterday’s explorations, knew it was a little over a mile from The Plummer Employment Agency. Though the wind was brisk today, Charlotte decided to walk. It would save the hansom cab fare and she always did her best thinking when she walked. She went over in her mind what she would say during her interview, hoping she would leave with a position secured, despite a lack of reference from her current employer. She also thought when would be the best time to notify Gray of her departure. Alone—or with the girls present so that he would better control his reaction to her news.

  Turning the corner, she spied The Plummer Employment Agency on her right. She would have to walk in each direction a few blocks in order to locate her destination.

  Then her heart skipped a beat. Heading her way in the opposite direction was none other than Mr. Plummer himself. It was too late to change her course because she saw he recognized her.

  “Why, Miss Nott, whatever are you doing in London?” he asked, eyeing her with disdain. “Don’t tell me you expect me to find you another position, even though you’ve held this last one longer than I would have expected.”

  Tamping down her true feelings, she said sweetly, “Lord Crampton decided to bring his nieces to London, Mr. Plummer. Naturally, as their governess, I accompanied them. Lady Harriet and Lady Jane are delightful young girls and I have enjoyed working with them.”

  Her reply startled him. “Oh. I see.”

  “It was lovely to see you, Mr. Plummer,” Charlotte said airily and continued down the sidewalk, despising the odious man.

  She was glad when The Hammond Employment Agency appeared on her left. Crossing the street, she was granted entrance and directed to a clerk behind a messy desk.

  “May I help you?” he asked, adjusting his glasses.

  “Yes, sir. My name is Miss Charlotte Nott and I am seeking employment as a governess or companion and would like to sit for an interview today.”

  “You’re fortunate. Mr. Hammond has an opening half an hour from now.” He indicated two chairs to his right. “You may wait there.”

  “Thank you.”

  Charlotte reminded herself how confidence was the key to a successful interview and she went over again what she would say to Mr. Hammond.

  A door opened and a man emerged. He nodded to the clerk, who rose and entered the office. Moments later, the clerk returned.

  “Mr. Hammond will see you now, Miss Nott.”

  She rose. “Thank you.”

  Once she entered the office, she closed the door and came toward the desk. Mr. Hammond was a small man with silver hair and thin lips.

  “Have a seat, Miss Nott. Please tell me about yourself.”

  This was the one occasion where she would use her story. She knew her lineage set her apart from most applicants.

  “My father was Lord Rumford of Kent and he believed in giving me an outstanding education. After his death, my circumstances changed. I have made my own living ever since I was eighteen.”

  She withdrew a folded sheet from her reticule and handed it to him.

  “I was companion to the Dower Duchess of Exbury for several years.”

  “Hmm.”

  Charlotte paused as he read her reference from Bernice.

  “Very impressive. The duchess speaks of you in glowing terms.”

  “She was a wonderful lady. I am currently governess to Lord Crampton’s two nieces. I know the earl has hired several employees from your agency. Mr. Roy and Mrs. Purcell suggested I seek my new post through your services.”

  “Do you have a reference from the earl?”

  “I’m afraid not.”

  Charlotte knew she was skating on thin ice here and must be careful how her story unfolded.

  “I was hired by Lord and Lady Crampton to tutor their son, who was ill, and their daughters. Unfortunately, both of them passed away rather quickly and Viscount Warren, who was twelve years of age, became the new earl. His health was very poor and he also passed away recently.

  “The new Lord Crampton, formerly Major Grayson, came home from the war to act as guardian to the children and handle the Crampton affairs. I’m afraid Lord Crampton barely knows me, which makes me reluctant to ask him to write a reference for me. As you know, the new earl has spent most of his time in London, while I have been at Gray Manor in Kent with the children.”

  She paused, letting Mr. Hammond digest this information.

  “May I ask why you would seek a new post, Miss Nott?”

  “Lord Crampton plans to spend the majority of the year in London. He’s become very fond of his nieces in a short time and wishes them to stay here, as well.” She wrinkled her nose. “Frankly, the city does not appeal to me, Mr. Hammond. I am a country girl at heart and prefer to hold a position away from town.”

  Now that she had him hooked on her line, Charlotte needed to reel the man in carefully.

  “Of course, Lord Crampton will need a governess to replace me. He’s been most happy with your agency and hopes you would be able to provide a suitable governess for the girls. They’ve been through so much lately, with the passing of their parents and their brother, whom they adored. Do you have anyone available? And any posts I might be suitable for?”

  She hoped he would overlook her only having one reference and think he had the possibility to earn a commission on not only her but another applicant he was trying to place.

  “I have an excellent governess who’s just become available. Miss Wight has recently concluded a lengthy stay with a viscount’s family. She has almost twenty years of experience working with children.”

  “If you personally recommend her, Mr. Hammond, I’m sure Lord Crampton will find Miss Wight most suitable. Could she come at ten o’clock tomorrow morning to meet with him? I know he allowed Mr. Roy to hire most of the staff on his own, but the earl is eager to engage with the potential new governess in person.”

  “Yes, I can see that she’s available.” Hammond paused. “As for you, Miss Nott, I have two positions that would be a good match for you.”

  Charlotte smiled, thinking of how Gray had explained the word to Jane. She supposed her job was like a marriage and hoped this man had a place in which she could be happy. One in which she could forget Gray.

  “The first is in Lincolnshire, where you would serve as companion to a dowager countess. She recently lost her husband and both daughters have wed and live far away. Her son is the new earl and she wishes to remain near him. She’s moved to the dower house.”

  “How is her health?”

  “Relatively good. Because of that, she is seeking a companion who could be with her for many years. The other—”

  “I accept.”

  “You don’t wish to hear about the second post?”

  “Not when this first one mee
ts my needs. I’m looking for somewhere I can stay for a good length of time. If you think I would suit the dowager countess, I would be happy to accept the position.”

  “I will write to her today then,” he said, a satisfied smile on his face. “When might you be able to start?”

  “If Lord Crampton deems Miss Wight is fit for his nieces, then I can leave immediately. On tomorrow afternoon’s mail coach.”

  “I’m certain his lordship will hire Miss Wight. She has an impeccable record regarding her employers.”

  “Then would you please direct me to the nearest mail coach office so I might purchase a ticket? I’m eager to leave London and return to the country.”

  He gave her directions and took down some information about her for his office records. Charlotte agreed to pay the agency’s fee and took the amount from her reticule. Mr. Hammond seemed surprised.

  “Usually, I ask for a percentage from your first salary. Will you . . . have enough to purchase your ticket north, Miss Nott?” he asked, clearly uncomfortable.

  “I do, Mr. Hammond, and thank you for your concern. I’m happy I’m in a position to give you your entire commission now.”

  She promised him she’d be on the afternoon mail coach the next day and left the agency, heading directly to purchase her ticket for transportation to Lincolnshire. She wasn’t looking forward to the colder winters, which she’d experienced while serving as companion to Bernice, but the further away from Gray she was, the better.

  Now would come the hard part—when to tell him of her imminent departure.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Charlotte decided to splurge while she was in London and went to a dressmaker’s shop. She purchased two new dresses, both made of wool and already made up. They would be more appropriate for the colder climate. She also chose a chemise and corset. It had been several years since she’d bought new ones. Her last acquisition was a pair of gloves. If the dowager countess liked to walk or ride, they might be spending quite a bit of time outside. Charlotte wanted to be prepared for the colder weather, especially since her current pair of gloves had seen better days.

  She passed a bookstore and went in, drawn to the used books section. She thought to buy something for Gray, as a parting gift. Finding the autobiography Benjamin Franklin had written, she thought it might be something he would find interesting. She paid for it and then walked back to Mayfair.

  Shortly before five, she left her room and went downstairs to the library. The girls were already there with their uncle.

  Gray came toward her. “First of all, I managed them quite well today.”

  Charlotte smiled. “As I knew you would.”

  “Whenever I had a doubt, I would think to myself, ‘What would Miss Nott do’, and magically the right words came to me.”

  “I’m sure they behaved beautifully for you.”

  He grinned. “They did. And you were right. Spending time with them was what we all needed. They are growing to love London.”

  “I’m pleased to hear that. But I know they enjoy their time with you even more so.”

  He shrugged. “I must leave after we read. While out, we ran into an old army friend of mine. He lost a leg and sold his commission two years ago. I think he’s a bit lonely and would like to talk over old times. I promised to have dinner with him and attend the theatre after.”

  “Then I hope you enjoy your evening together.”

  Gray gazed at her longingly. “I’d rather dine with you.”

  “Let’s read, my lord,” she said and joined the girls.

  Once Gray left to go upstairs to dress and the girls went to have their own dinner, Charlotte found Mrs. Purcell and requested a tray be sent to her room. After she ate, she decided she would tell her charges of her departure tonight to better prepare them. In the morning, she would tell Gray that the new governess was expected. She knew she was glossing over the situation, not wanting to think of his ire.

  She also dreaded telling Harriet and Jane she was leaving. She’d grown to love these little girls in her time with them but it would be for the best for her to move on. It struck Charlotte that she was doing the same thing to the girls that Gray had done earlier, abandoning them on short notice. He’d thought Harriet and Jane would be better off without him in their lives and she had resented him mightily for it. He had disappointed all three of them when he’d up and left for London. She’d known it was wrong of him to wash his hands of the children and was terribly grateful that he had returned and seemed truly invested in the girls.

  How could she justify doing the same thing by walking away?

  She wasn’t family, though, and never would be. This time, Harriet and Jane would have their uncle to depend upon. He would help them get through this difficult time. Gray would be the constant in their lives that they could depend upon.

  Though she feared hurting them, especially knowing the losses they’d already suffered, Charlotte knew just how resilient children could be. Besides, she wouldn’t be much of a governess to them once Gray wed. She refused to pine away for a man she could never have, while staying and seeing him build a life without her would be foolish. It was best that she leave now. Gray’s new wife could give the girls the love they needed. As time passed, Charlotte doubted Harriet and Jane would even remember her. Her time at Gray Manor had been short, after all. Their memories of a governess who’d only been with them a few months would fade.

  Charlotte went to their room and saw Betsy tucking them in for the night.

  “I’ll finish,” she told the servant.

  “You must tell us a story, Miss Nott,” Harriet said. “A long one.”

  Harriet had never been one who liked going to bed. Jane, on the other hand, usually fell asleep quickly.

  “One story. Of medium-size,” she said, and proceeding to invent a tale of a girl and a fawn.

  By the time she ended, Jane was yawning. Harriet said she liked the story and wanted to hear another one at bedtime tomorrow evening.

  “I know Betsy has been putting us to bed but I want you to do it from now on, Miss Nott.”

  She smoothed Harriet’s hair, knowing her next words would hurt the girl—and herself.

  “I’m not going to be able to do that, my lady. I’m leaving for another post.”

  “What?”

  Both girls sat up and Jane asked, “Where are you going, Miss Nott?”

  “I’ve been asked to help someone else who needs me very much. She has lost her husband and is very sad.”

  Defiance loomed in Harriet’s eyes. “We lost our brother. And our mother and father,” she said, as an afterthought. “We need you more.”

  “But this nice lady has no one else, Lady Harriet. I’m to be a companion to her. You are very lucky to have your uncle in your lives now.”

  Harriet wrapped her thin arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees. Her mouth set stubbornly. Jane’s eyes welled with tears.

  Charlotte continued. “Remember how we talked about how your uncle was hurt and sad from the war? He’s getting better—and it’s thanks to both of you. He is happier now because of you. You’re helping him come back to the man he once was and he’s helping you get over your sadness with your brother’s death.” She paused. “You’re becoming a true family who can always depend upon one another. And one day, your uncle will wed and someone new to love will come into that trusted circle.”

  Harriet’s forehead dropped to her knees and she mumbled, “But what about a governess?”

  “I’ve found you a new one. Her name’s Miss Wight and she has much experience teaching children. She is very eager to come meet you.”

  “Who will teach us music?” Jane asked, her voice small. “And riding?”

  “Your music lessons will go on. And your uncle would be the best riding instructor you could have. Really, this is for the best. You will be helping your uncle and I will be helping another lady who has no one.”

  “I don’t want you to go,” Jane said, te
ars rolling down her cheeks.

  Charlotte brushed them away. “It’s always hard to say goodbye.” She wanted to add that Jane could write her but thought it best if she severed all connections with her pupils. If she didn’t, she feared their loyalty would be to her and not Miss Wight.

  Harriet raised her head, meeting Charlotte’s gaze. “I don’t want you to go, Miss Nott.”

  “I must, my lady. I will look back on my time at Gray Manor fondly. You girls have been the best pupils I’ve ever had.”

  Harriet scooted back into the bed and turned to her side, away from Charlotte. She pulled the bedsheets over her head.

  Jane saw what her sister did and burrowed, as well.

  Charlotte’s throat tightened, thick with unshed tears. She rose from the bed and found her voice, saying, “Miss Wight will be here at ten o’clock tomorrow morning. We’ll sit and visit with her and tell her everything you’ve been working on during my time with you.”

  Neither girl replied. The only sound was Jane sniffling from under the covers.

  “Good night.”

  Charlotte leaned over and blew out the candle on the bedside. She left the room and returned to her own. She locked the door, not needing any midnight visits from Gray, and then slowly undressed. She donned her night rail and dressing gown and doused the candles in her room. Knowing it would be impossible to sleep, she took a seat in the chair by the window and stared out it, tears streaming down her face.

  The knock came a few hours later. Charlotte stilled.

  It was Gray.

  She couldn’t see him now, with her emotions raw and ragged and her eyes almost swollen shut from crying. She waited.

  He rapped gently on the door again. This time, he called out her name.

  More tears poured down her face as she sat resolutely. Finally, silence came. Charlotte was still here and yet already the distance between her and Gray seemed wider than an ocean.

  She got into bed, gripping the bedclothes until her fingers ached. She knew she was doing the right thing—but why did it have to hurt so much?

  *

  Charlotte rose and dressed in one of her new gowns, remembering how Gray had called what she wore atrocious. Of course, he would think so. He was used to seeing women of the ton in their custom-fit gowns of sumptuous fabrics. She could never be what he desired. Or rather, what he needed in his life. She knew he physically desired her by the look in his eyes and the touch of his hands. But she was not a woman meant to remain permanently in his life. Gray was meant for a lifetime with another woman.