She's With Me

by Jessica Cunsolo

  Aiden’s cold eyes turn to Mason, his sharp gaze making it seem like he’s looking right through Mason’s soul. “Then?”

  “I don’t know. I found her a while later all bloody, and she was going off about how someone jumped her but she wouldn’t tell me who! I’m so sorry, Amelia.”

  “It’s not your fault, Mason. And it wasn’t my blood! I’m fine, everyone. Seriously, let’s just drop it.”

  Aiden’s usually impassive gaze holds a thinly veiled expression of fury. “Like hell we’ll drop it. Who was it?”

  “It doesn’t matter—”

  “Who?” Aiden repeats, something in his tone stressing that there’s no room for argument.

  I sigh in defeat and look down at the table. “Dave.”

  There are some gasps that go around the table and some muttered curses. I didn’t think I wanted to see Aiden’s reaction, but suddenly it’s the only thing I can think about. I look up expecting him to be looking at me, but instead he’s studying something in the distance out the window, his brooding face seeming to be calculating something.

  “Tell us exactly what happened,” Noah commands, staring at me intensely.

  I resist the urge to sigh again. I might as well just tell them now.

  “After I used the bathroom, I was looking for Mason when Dave grabbed me and dragged me behind the building. His friend held me while he drove his fist into my stomach.”

  “That fucking coward,” Annalisa proclaims.

  “Did Ryan send Dave to hurt you?” Julian asks.

  “No, it was all Dave. He was mad at Aiden—”

  At the mention of his name Aiden turns his gaze back to me, but it doesn’t look like he’s actually seeing me. His mind is somewhere miles away.

  “Mad at Aiden?” Noah tries to connect the dots.

  Charlotte gasps, realization dawning on her. “At the Halloween party. Dave was all over Amelia and Aiden basically knocked him out.”

  “But what does hitting you have to do with Aiden?” Chase asks, and Charlotte and Annalisa exchange a glance like they already know the answer.

  “He said something along the lines of ‘Aiden almost dislocated my jaw, so let’s break something he’s fond of,’ or something like that.”

  “He hurt you to get to me,” Aiden whispers.

  “I’m fine, really. It’s no one’s fault. Let’s not do anything stupid and start more fights and kick the drama up all over again, please.”

  My words fall on deaf ears as Aiden slides out of the booth without a word and storms to the door of the ice-cream parlor, not once looking back when we call out to him. He takes off out of the parking lot into the dark night, leaving us all staring after him.

  After reassuring everyone I’m okay, I go home and proceed to pace around my room, thinking about Aiden. He doesn’t have a phone, so no one can call him, even though he probably would’ve just ignored our calls anyway.

  It’s around twelve thirty when I hear a loud engine pull into my driveway. My mom isn’t supposed to be home for another couple of hours, so I peek through my blinds and immediately recognize Aiden’s black Challenger. Pressing pause on the movie I wasn’t watching anyway, I scramble to fix my hair before opening the front door. I catch Aiden walking up the steps and he pauses when he sees me, his face giving nothing away.

  “Hey,” I say timidly, opening the door for him.

  He doesn’t say anything as he brushes past me, but waits until I’ve closed the door. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, cutting through all the niceties.

  We head into the family room, where we sit on the couch.

  “I didn’t want you to know,” I tell him straight out.

  He looks hurt, and this time doesn’t bother concealing it from me. “Why? Do you not trust me?”

  “Of course I trust you! To tell you the truth, I trust you more than anyone I’ve ever trusted in my entire life.”

  And it’s true. Besides my mother, I really don’t have anyone, and sometimes I feel so far away from her. Aiden’s the only one who, for some reason, I know will always be here for me.

  My admission seems to warm him up to me, and his face softens as he looks at me. “Then why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I want it all to end. You’d get mad and do something to get back at them. I need everyone to stop getting hurt because of me. Plus, it happened before the race and you needed to focus on that and not me. Of course I trust you, Aiden. I just didn’t want you to go and—”

  I stop talking when I notice the knuckles on Aiden’s right hand. They’re busted up and look like they’ve recently been split open. He follows my gaze and moves his hand so that it’s out of my view.

  “What happened to your hand?” I ask, even though I already have a feeling I know what happened.

  “Nothing.”

  “Aiden.”

  “Nothing, Amelia.”

  “You picked a fight with Dave, didn’t you?”

  “No,” he replies, his expression and tone neutral, as if we’re discussing the weather. “I picked a fight with Dave, Rob, Ian, and whoever else could’ve been that other guy who held you back while Dave . . .” He trails off, as if he can’t bear the thought of Dave hitting me.

  “Shit, Aiden. Are you okay?” I bring a hand to his face and turn it to better inspect him for injuries. “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you! I didn’t want you to get hurt over me.”

  He gently grabs my hand and moves it away from his face, but doesn’t let go. “I’m fine, Amelia. They only got a couple of hits in.”

  “Aiden!”

  “It was worth it. Believe me.” The way he says it with such conviction and determination makes my pulse race and my heart swell.

  I don’t know what to say. My thoughts are just so consumed with Aiden I don’t even know how to process how amazing he is and how much I like him.

  I look into his piercing gray eyes, which always seem to soften when they’re focused on me. I notice a small cut on his nose, and briefly wonder which guy was fast enough to get a hit on Aiden’s face, before my eyes flicker to his lips.

  And then he’s there. His hands are on my waist and his lips are on mine, and like last time I’m transported to my own personal heaven.

  My mind, body, and soul are consumed with the fire that is Aiden, and I can’t think of anything except the burning need to be closer. He must be feeling the same way because his grip on my waist tightens, and he easily lifts me onto his lap, my knees placed on either side of him so that I’m straddling him, and I pull myself closer, my arms wrapping around his neck. No amount of butterflies or fireworks could compare to the feeling I’m experiencing as Aiden’s lips move in sync with mine.

  It’s like all I’ve ever needed in this world is to be held and kissed this passionately by the amazingly powerful and intense man that is Aiden, and it’s like there’s nowhere else I’ve ever wanted or needed to be than right here.

  22

  I wish I could say that after Aiden and I kissed we became all lovey-dovey and had a perfect happily ever after, but we don’t.

  Why? Because I’m me.

  I’m stupid, stupid Amelia Collins, who technically doesn’t even exist, and won’t even exist in a few weeks.

  I gave in to my feelings and kissed Aiden when I knew I shouldn’t have, even though it felt really—and I mean really—good. But guilt keeps coming back to haunt me. Whenever I think about Aiden and how he makes me feel, it creeps up my throat and squeezes until I can barely breathe, wrapping itself around my heart and slowly constricting until I’m sure it’s going to stop beating.

  The way Aiden makes me feel is incomparable to anything I’ve ever felt, but that’s because I know him. I know who he is. I know that he’s responsible and loyal and smart. I know when he’s trying to hide a smile or when he’s annoyed or when he’s deep in
thought about something important.

  But most of all, I know his name. Can he even say the same for me?

  He doesn’t deserve someone who is lying to him all the time and pretending to be someone she isn’t. Especially not someone who will skip town without a moment’s notice, never to be heard from again. Definitely not someone who puts his life in danger just by being near him.

  Because the reality is, I’m Thea Kennedy, and Thea Kennedy has been chased down and had multiple attempts made on her life by a madman. Thea Kennedy has caused multiple people to be injured and killed just by being around her, and has a little shoebox in her closet as a reminder. I don’t deserve Aiden, and he definitely should be with someone better than me. It’s not like I cut him off after that night at my house, but I’ve been distancing myself, and I’ve made it my mission to avoid spending any one-on-one time with him.

  Sometimes I see him in the hallway and we make eye contact, and he’ll start walking over to me, but I’ll sprint in the opposite direction as quickly as possible, cursing myself in my head the entire time. I barely say more than a full sentence to him when I see him in class, and I busy myself with studying for exams at lunch. I’ve even started parking as far away from his spot as I can, just so we won’t bump into each other in the parking lot. I wish I could say it was easy, but it hurts almost as much as the guilt does. Every time I see him I remember how it feels to be held by him, to kiss him—but then my head starts to swim and I know I can’t keep up the charade.

  He’s been pretty distracted lately, since his stepfather Greg was released from prison on Monday—not that he’s tried contacting Aiden and the twins since his release. Plus, we had exams this week, so it’s been pretty hectic and hasn’t been too obvious that I’m trying to avoid him.

  But Aiden’s not stupid. In fact, he’s probably one of the smartest people I’ve ever met (he did manage to get my calculus mark up), not just in school but also street-wise. I know he knows something is up, especially every time I feel him studying me with his piercing gray eyes, but with everything else going on, he hasn’t said anything.

  Before I know it, two weeks have gone by and I’m clearing out my locker at the end of the day on Friday, the last day of school before the winter break.

  “Am I still coming over to raid your wardrobe? I’m sure you’ll have a dress I can borrow for my cousin’s wedding this weekend,” Charlotte asks from where she’s leaning on the locker beside mine. “I can’t believe my cousin Grace bought the exact same dress I was planning on wearing after I got it, but I’m the one who has to change.”

  “Of course you’re still coming over,” I reply to Charlotte. “Anna found out and wanted to come too.”

  “Party at Amelia’s?” Noah asks as he, Mason, and Aiden appear beside Charlotte.

  For the first couple of days after it was revealed that Dave roughed me up at the track when Mason left me to flirt with Amanda, the relationship between Aiden and Mason was a bit strained.

  Aiden was pissed at Mason, since he’d blatantly told Mason to look out for me while he was occupied because we knew that the Silvers had it out specifically for me. After a couple of days, it started getting awkward and making the group as a whole feel strained as well. Then one day they came to school sporting some fresh bruises, and it stopped being strained. They went back to normal, like nothing ever happened, and no one has mentioned anything about it since.

  Julian told Annalisa (who then told me and Charlotte) that Mason couldn’t take the guilt anymore and went to Aiden’s house while he and Julian were studying. Apparently, Mason was yelling at Aiden to “Get it out of your system and just fucking hit me already,” to which Aiden replied, “You should feel guilty because Amelia didn’t deserve that shit.”

  Then some more words were exchanged, which Julian didn’t care to share, and things got heated. Apparently, Mason just lunged at Aiden and they started hitting each other. After a couple of minutes they hugged it out, and all three boys went inside and ordered pizza, acting like nothing ever happened. Boys are so weird.

  “Absolutely not,” I answer Noah while trying to ignore Aiden’s unwavering gaze on me. “Last time I went to a party with you, Noah, you were sent to the hospital with a concussion.”

  “Can’t make the same mistake twice, right?” Noah laughs, subconsciously rubbing the spot on his head where he received stitches that night.

  Aiden’s gaze burns a hole into my soul, so I pretend to be immensely preoccupied with some loose papers at the back of the top shelf.

  I assume Charlotte rolls her eyes at Noah. “No party. It’s girls’ night.”

  “Awesome,” Mason smiles. “We were planning on inviting you all out tonight, but since you’re already at Amelia’s, looks like we’re all coming there.”

  “Wait, what?” I automatically turn to look at them, accidentally making eye contact with Aiden, whose expression is one of his normal stoic, impassiveness. But his eyes—the expression in his eyes make me feel like throwing up and digging a hole to crawl into and hide for the next fifty years.

  “Coming where?” Annalisa arrives at my locker, ready to drive with me and Charlotte back to my house.

  “Movie night at Amelia’s. Pizza’s on me,” Mason announces, not bothering to confirm with me.

  “I’m so picking the movie,” Noah chimes in, a calculating smile forming on his lips.

  I quickly glance at Aiden. What if everyone leaves and he wants to stay later to talk to me privately? Last time we were alone together at my house we made out, and that cannot happen again, no matter how much I wish it would.

  “Are you purposely pretending you don’t know what a girls’ night is?” Charlotte laughs as she, Annalisa, Mason, and Noah start walking toward the parking lot, completely ignoring my attempt to protest.

  My eyes widen slightly when I realize that it’s just me and Aiden at my locker, and he’s studying me with those intuitive, captivating gray eyes.

  I quickly turn back to my locker and shove random books into my bag as quickly as possible.

  “Amelia,” Aiden’s strong hand on my shoulder makes me freeze.

  I quickly slam my locker door shut and turn to look at him, making his hand drop from my shoulder.

  “Is everything okay?” he asks me, making my pulse simultaneously speed up and slow down.

  His psychopathic, junkie stepfather is out of jail and possibly out to get him and his brothers, and he’s asking about me.

  “Of course it is. What about you? Is everything okay with Greg?” I ask, unable to stop myself.

  I should’ve escaped, but I can’t stop caring about him no matter how much I wish I could.

  “I haven’t heard anything yet. But I can’t stop worrying about him hurting the twins.”

  “He won’t hurt the twins.” I hope my tone is comforting. “I know you won’t let anything happen to them.”

  “Damn straight,” he responds without a second of denial or hesitation.

  When we get to the parking lot, Noah and Mason have left Annalisa and Charlotte by my car, and are heading toward theirs. Aiden and I stop at the top of the stairs and turn to look at each other.

  “I’ll see you tonight?” I ask Aiden, a small part of me hoping he’ll say no, while the bigger, stupider part of me is screaming Please come!

  “Of course. For you, anything,” he responds, the intense look in his eyes making it clear that he’s not just talking about tonight, but about life in general.

  Feeling the onset of tears, I suddenly can’t help but throw my arms around his waist and draw myself into him, burying my head in his strong chest. I can feel that he’s taken off guard, but he recovers quickly and puts his muscular arms around me, pulling me in closer. Realizing my mistake, I quickly draw away from him and take a few steps away.

  “Well . . . see you tonight.” I don’t even wait to see his confuse
d expression or hear his reply before I turn around and jet down the stairs toward the two girls waggling their eyebrows at me from beside my car.

  I hate myself.

  All of my drawers are open and practically empty, and my closet’s in the same condition. Almost every single piece of clothing I’ve ever owned is littered somewhere on my bed or floor. Charlotte has tried on every nice outfit I have at least twice, unable to decide on the one she likes best.

  “Julian says they’re all almost here,”—Annalisa looks up from her phone—“with the pizza.”

  “I’ll go start setting up the kitchen,” I reply as I throw some clothes into a drawer and close it.

  “Wait, do you have silver heels that match this dress?” Charlotte turns and gives me a view of the navy dress she’s wearing.

  “I think I have a couple of options. Help yourself.”

  I head out of my room and Annalisa follows me to help set up, leaving Charlotte to pick whatever shoes her heart desires. We’re just grabbing all of the plates and drinks when we hear the doorbell ring. I let Chase, Noah, and Julian in, followed by Mason and Aiden a few minutes later.

  “Thank God!” shouts Noah when Mason and Aiden carry in some pizza boxes. “I’m starving!”

  Approximately four seconds later, a couple of the boxes are almost empty courtesy of the five ravenous teenage boys.

  “Char!” Annalisa yells up to Charlotte, who’s still in my room. “Come get some pizza before these pigs destroy the boxes.”

  “But I’m not done yet!” she yells back.

  Annalisa slaps away Noah’s hand, which is going in for a fifth slice while his fourth is still hanging from his mouth.

  “Save some for us,” she scolds.

  “Finish later!” I yell back at Charlotte. “Come eat!”

  She comes down the stairs in her own clothes and we grab a couple of slices before the boys finish them all, moving into the living room to watch whatever movie they all agreed on.