Book Read Free

Awkwafina's NYC

Page 9

by Nora Lum


  Tours are offered Tuesday to Friday from ten a.m. to five p.m. and Saturday and Sunday from twelve p.m. to five p.m. The last tour of the day starts at four p.m. and costs $10 for adults, with senior and student discounts. For more info, check out LouisArmstrongHouse.org.

  As you continue to the next two highly delicious checkpoints, you will find you can now appreciate the neighborhood through Satchmo’s eyes.

  CHECKPOINT 2

  LEMON ICE KING

  Walk south on 107th Street toward 37th Avenue.

  Turn left at 37th Avenue.

  Turn right onto 108th Street.

  A definite staple of Queens and perhaps one of the most famous ice places in the city, the Benfaremos’ Lemon Ice King has been in operation for over sixty years. A fancy-pants award from Zagat and a tiny storefront make it arguably the most legit shit in town. I got the fruit cocktail flavor because it was the closest thing I saw to day-drinking.

  SWEET, ICY GOODNESS

  ENDPOINT

  LEO’S LATTICINI (MAMA’S)

  Walk on 107th Street toward 37th Avenue.

  Turn right onto 37th Avenue

  Turn left onto 104th Street. Leo’s will be on your right.

  If you’re hungry, prepare to be in heaven at the eighty-year-old compound of joy that is Leo’s Latticini.

  Down the block (but still amazingly attached) is every sad girl’s dream of glass cases stocked to the brim with every Italian pastry ever. Cannoli are served by the pound, and the woman behind the counter is actually yelling at people on her cell phone during her break in REAL ITALIAN. There’s a cute outdoor seating area in the bakery section to binge and reflect that yes, it truly is a wonderful world.

  Write Your Own

  Band Poster

  The hottest new (music genre) group, the (adjective) (noun, plural), is (-ing verb) the NYC music scene. Their show last week at the (-ing verb) (animal) Tavern included a (adjective) set with crazy (noun, plural), (noun, plural), and a (number)-hour-long, (adjective) light show.

  Their group is made up of (number) kick-ass members who play instruments like the (musical instrument), (musical instrument), and even the (large vegetable). The lead singer and creator, (name), who operates under the nickname (nickname), says he first came up with the idea for the group in a (adjective) dream.

  Their current hits include “Oh, (name), You’re a (animal)” and “Let This (noun) Be My Last.”

  Catch them next week at a special (number)-hour-long performance at (retail chain) alongside rapper (adjective) (letter of the alphabet) and new age Latin folk group (Spanish first name) & the (noun, plural).

  AKNOWLEDGMENTS

  First and foremost, I would like to start by thanking Doris Cooper, Stephanie Huntwork, Kevin Garcia, Robert Siek, Amelia Zalcman, and everyone else at Potter who has worked so hard on the coolest opportunity of my life. I would like to especially thank Emma Brodie, the dopest editor in town, for her incredible guidance and patience with me throughout this process. Emma, without you, this book would be an incoherent rambling with nonsensical bullet points and distasteful jokes about Monica Lewinsky.

  To Elyssa Goodman, my resilient, talented, and diehard photographer, who followed me up and down the city without ever slowing down. Thank you for taking amazing pictures and being a true friend. I would also like to thank Jaeil Cho for his ridiculous illustrations, and for drawing just the right amount of soul patch and cigarettes onto various pigeon cartoons.

  I would like to thank Pam Krauss, who has engaged my ratchetry since the age of sixteen. Thank you for believing in Awkwafina, and thank you for all of the advice you’ve given me.

  To Marc Gerald, one of the coolest dudes I’ll ever meet. This would have never happened without your help, and I am honored to have you in my life.

  And last but not least, to my grandmother Powah and my dad Wally. Thanks for raising me, believing in me, and not forcing me to go to med school.

  INDEX

  Accidental Singers

  Aguilera, Christina

  Alda, Alan

  Alice in Wonderland statue

  Apple Store

  Armstrong, Louis

  Arthur Avenue

  Arthur Avenue Retail Market

  Audubon Terrace

  Baez, Joan

  Baio, Scott

  Baohaus

  Barnes & Noble, Tribeca

  Beatles

  Bedford Avenue

  Bethesda Terrace

  Biancardi’s

  Biddle House

  Billopp, Christopher

  birds, 2.1, 3.1

  Bloomingdale’s

  Boat Challenge

  Brighton Bazaar

  Brighton Beach/Sheepshead Bay

  Bronx, The

  Brooklyn

  Brighton Beach/Sheepshead Bay

  Greenpoint

  Write Your Own history of

  Brooklyn movie studios

  Brooklyn Standard

  Bros

  Bryant Park

  Burns, Ed

  Buscemi, Steve

  Busy Mall

  Butter Knives

  Café Grumpy

  canning

  Casa Della Mozzarella

  celebrities born in NYC

  Cellar Bar and Lounge

  Central Park dares

  Chinese restaurants and neighborhoods, 7.1

  Conference House

  Corner 28

  Corona

  Crown Heights

  Dakota, The

  Darin, Bobby

  Dominick’s Restaurant

  Dreyfuss, Richard

  ducks and geese

  Dunham, Lena

  East River Ferry

  Egger’s Ice Cream Parlor

  El Greco Diner

  Empire State Building

  Falconer, The

  5 Bar Karaoke

  555 Edgecombe Avenue

  Flushing Meadow Park

  Grand Central Parkway

  Grand Central Station

  Gray’s Papaya

  Great NY Noodletown

  Greenpoint

  Hans Christian Andersen statue

  Highbridge Park

  Hispanic Society of America

  Holocaust Memorial Park

  homeless people, 3.1, 5.1

  Hong Kong Plaza

  IchiUmi

  Italian neighborhoods. See Bronx, The

  Jewish neighborhoods. See Brighton Beach/

  Sheepshead Bay

  J. Hood Wright Park

  Johansson, Scarlett

  Johnston, Moira

  Koreatown

  Lam Zhou Handmade Noodles

  Landau, Martin

  Lemon Ice King

  Leo’s Latticini (Mama’s)

  Liu, Lucy

  Lomzynianka

  Madonia Brothers Bakery

  Maloof Skate Park

  Mama’s (Leo’s Latticini)

  Manhattan

  Koreatown

  restrooms

  Union Square, fm1.1, 8.1

  Upper West Side (Central Park)

  Washington Heights

  Write Your Own history of

  Marriott Marquis, Times Square

  Marshall, Garry

  McGolrick Park

  Meadow Lake

  Miss Korea BBQ

  Morris-Jumel Mansion, 6.1, 6.2

  Morrone Pastry Shop and Café

  movie studios

  Nan Xiang Dumpling House, 7.1, 7.2

  New World Mall

  New York City Supreme Court

  New Yorkers

  celebrities born in NYC

  homeless people, 3.1, 5.1

  new New Yorkers

  subway riders

  Union Square characters

  New York State Pavilion

  Notorious BIG, The

  NYC Bitche$ (Write Your Own)

  Paul Robeson House

  Penniless Musicians

  Peoples People Restaurant

&nbs
p; people-watching

  Peter Pan Donut & Pastry Shop

  Pocha 32

  police stations, restrooms at

  Polish neighborhoods. See Greenpoint

  Professional Homeless people

  Queens

  Corona

  Flushing

  Flushing Meadow Park

  Queens Museum

  Ramblin’ Bill

  Randazzo’s Clam Bar

  recycling

  Reggiano’s

  Remini, Leah

  restrooms, Manhattan

  Rilke, Rainer Maria

  Rite Aid, 4.1, 4.2

  RKO Keith Theater

  Roll-n-Roaster

  Roman the Fart Smeller

  Russian neighborhoods. See Brighton Beach/

  Sheepshead Bay

  Sheepshead Bay, 3.1, 3.2

  Shops at Columbus Circle

  Small-Town Hipsters

  Soho off Lafayette Street

  soup dumplings, 7.1, 7.2

  Squatter’s Pavilion

  Stadium Theatre

  Starbucks

  Staten Island

  Statue of Liberty

  St. George’s Episcopal Church

  Strawberry Fields

  subways, 1.1, 3.1, 6.1

  swans

  Tai Pan Bakery

  Taiwanese Gourmet

  Tatiana

  Teitel Brothers, 5.1, 5.2

  Third Floor Café

  Times Square, fm2.1, 9.1

  topless woman

  Tottenville, 1.1, 1.2

  Train Clearers

  Trustafarians, 4.1, 6.1

  UFC Gym

  Union Square, fm1.1, 8.1

  Unisphere

  Upper West Side

  Washington Bridge

  Washington Heights

  Wendell the Garbageman

  Williamsburg

  Wo Hop

  Woorijip

  World’s Fair (1964) “spaceships,”

  Write Your Own

  band poster

  brief history of Queens

  history of Brooklyn

  history of Manhattan

  history of Staten Island

  history of the Bronx

  letter to mother

  “NYC Bitche$,”

  on the subway

  Xi’an Famous Foods

  MAPS

  1: The Staten Island Tour

  Exit the outdoor platform at Main Street.

  Walk one block down Main Street toward Conference Court.

  Turn left onto Amboy Road.

  Continue on Amboy Road.

  Reverse on Amboy Road toward Brighton Street.

  Walk down Main Street toward Hylan Boulevard.

  Turn right onto Hylan Boulevard.

  Turn right onto Satterlee Street.

  Reverse on Satterlee Street.

  Walk until you reach Conference House.

  2: The Men in Black Tour

  Exit the Sixty-seventh Avenue subway station on the north side of Queens Boulevard and walk toward Sixty-seventh Drive to Sixty-ninth Road/Harry Van Arsdale Road.

  Turn left on Sixty-ninth Road/Harry Van Arsdale Road.

  OPTIONAL: Pedestrian Overpass

  Walk northeast on Sixty-seventh Drive toward Yellowstone Boulevard.

  Turn left on Yellowstone Boulevard.

  At Sixty-fourth Avenue, turn right.

  Pass 108th and 110th Streets.

  The pedestrian overpass is situated directly next to the dog park.

  3: The Brighton Beach Memoirs Tour

  Exit at Brighton Sixth Street.

  Turn right onto Brighton Sixth Street toward Brightwater Court.

  When you reach the beach and boardwalk, Tatiana will be on your right.

  From Tatiana, make a right onto the boardwalk.

  From Brighton Sixth Street, walk north toward Brightwater Court.

  Turn right onto Brighton Beach Avenue.

  Turn left onto Brighton Eleventh Street.

  From Brighton Bazaar, make a left onto Brighton Eleventh Street heading toward Oceanview Avenue.

  Turn slight right onto Neptune Avenue.

  Neptune Avenue becomes Emmons Avenue; follow Emmons until you see another body of water that isn’t the ocean.

  Arrive at the Holocaust Memorial Park (on your right).

  From the Holocaust Memorial Park, walk straight down Emmons Avenue to Sheepshead Bay Road.

  See large diner sign. Walk toward it.

  From the Holocaust Memorial Park, walk straight down Emmons Avenue to Ocean Avenue.

  Pass the bright purple sign of a frightening nightclub called Fabergé.

  Find Randazzo’s next door.

  From the Holocaust Memorial Park, walk down Emmons Avenue to East Twenty-ninth Street.

  4: The New Old Greenpoint Adventure

  Take the G (or literally the ONLY TRAIN that runs through Greenpoint, which just happens to be THE WORST TRAIN) to Nassau Avenue.

  Get out through the Manhattan Avenue and Nassau Avenue exit.

  Walk north on Manhattan Avenue toward Norman Avenue.

  Walk down Manhattan Ave toward Norman Avenue; end at Rite Aid.

  Walk down Manhattan Avenue toward Norman Avenue

  Stop at Peter Pan Bakery

  Walk down Manhattan Avenue toward Meserole Avenue to Calyer Street.

  Make a right onto Calyer Street and continue to Diamond Street. End in front of an unmarked Broadway Stages.

  Make a right onto Diamond Street toward Meserole Avenue.

  Continue on Diamond Street toward Norman Avenue.

  Make a left onto Nassau Avenue toward Humboldt Street.

  Walk down Nassau Avenue toward Humboldt Street.

  Find entrance to the park.

  5: The Bronx Adventure

  Walk down Arthur Avenue toward Crescent Avenue.

  Walk down Arthur Avenue toward 186th Street.

  Walk down Arthur Avenue toward 186th Street.

  Walk down Arthur Avenue toward 186th Street.

  Cross 186th Street and continue on Arthur Avenue.

  Walk on Arthur Avenue toward East 187th Street.

  Turn right onto East 187th Street.

  6: The Washington Heights Adventure

  Exit Audubon Terrace at 155th Street.

  Walk down 155th Street toward Broadway.

  Turn left onto Amsterdam Avenue.

  Turn right onto 160th Street.

  Find gated entrance on Jumel Terrace.

  Make a left on Jumel Terrace.

  Make a left on West 160th Street.

  Turn right on Edgecombe Avenue.

  From 555 Edgecombe Avenue, walk to Amsterdam Avenue and 158th Street.

  Take the M101 bus toward Fort George/193rd Street.

  Get off at the Highbridge Park stop.

  Highbridge Park is also accessible from the 168th Street A/C Subway Station

  Walk east on 168th Street toward Amsterdam Avenue.

  Turn left onto Amsterdam Avenue.

  Enter Highbridge Park and walk toward the water.

  From 555 Edgecombe Avenue:

  Walk up Edgecombe Avenue toward West 160th Street to West 162nd Street.

  Make a left onto West 162nd Street.

  Continue onto Saint Nicholas Avenue, which turns into Broadway.

  Turn left on West 173rd Street.

  The park is also accessible from 175th Street A Station.

  Walk south on Fort Washington Avenue toward West 174th Street.

  Turn right on West 174th Street.

  7: The Tour of Flushing Queens

  From Main Street Station, walk down Main Street toward Fortieth Road.

  Corner 28 is at the corner of Main Street and Fortieth Road.

  Cross Main Street on Fortieth Road.

  See main entrance for New World Mall in the middle of the block.

  Welcome to the largest indoor mall in New York City as of 2013.

  Cross Main Street from New World Mall.

/>   Walk down Main Street toward Roosevelt Avenue.

  Turn left on Thirty-eighth Avenue.

  Walk back to Main Street on Thirty-eighth Avenue.

  Turn left onto Main Street.

  Walk down Main Street toward Thirty-seventh Avenue.

  Cross Main Street from Hong Kong Plaza.

  See two separate buildings both called Busy Mall.

  Go into the building on the left.

  Walk on Main Street toward Thirty-eighth Avenue.

  Turn right onto Thirty-eighth Avenue.

  Turn left onto Prince Street.

  Walk down Prince Street toward Thirty-eighth Avenue.

  Turn right onto Northern Boulevard.

  The theater will be on the opposite side of Northern Boulevard.

  8: The Koreatown Barcrawl

  Walk toward Fifth Avenue on Thirty-second Street.

  Walk down Thirty-second Street toward Broadway.

  Pocha 32 is located on the second floor of 15 West Thirty-second Street.

  Continue on Thirty-second Street toward Fifth Avenue.

  At Fifth Avenue, make a slight right.

 

‹ Prev