Amelia Bedelia was the very first student to arrive, as usual. She pushed open the door and spotted the sub sitting in Mrs. Shauk’s chair, with his back to her.
“Good morning, Sergeant Strickland!” Amelia Bedelia sang out.
Startled, the sergeant spun around. A pink doughnut with rainbow sprinkles stuck out of his mouth. He had a napkin covered with sprinkles tucked into his collar.
Amelia Bedelia stared at him for a second. This was not a sight you saw every day!
“I hope I didn’t disturb your breakfast,” she said politely. She picked up a chair and set it on the floor.
“Negative,” he replied stiffly. But his cheeks were as pink as the frosting on his doughnut.
When Candy arrived, Amelia Bedelia kept a close eye on her, waiting for an opportunity to be kind.
“Why do you keep staring at me?” Candy finally asked.
Amelia Bedelia searched for a compliment. “Your hair is looking very . . . clean today! You did a good job washing out the yellow paint.”
Candy looked puzzled and rolled her eyes. “Um, thank you?” she said. She gave Amelia Bedelia an odd look and then ignored her the whole rest of the class.
At recess, Amelia Bedelia spotted Candy sitting by herself on the swings. Was it her imagination, or did Candy look a little bit lonely? Amelia Bedelia headed across the playground, determined to be nice to her.
“Amelia Bedelia!” Skip shouted. “Over here!”
Amelia Bedelia spun around. Clay was frantically waving at her from the tree stump table where the rest of her classmates were gathered. Amelia Bedelia gave one last glance at Candy, then headed over to her friends.
“We’re having an emergency meeting,” said Pat. “Can someone please find out when Mrs. Shauk is coming back? I can’t take much more of Sergeant Strickland.”
“What are you complaining about?” said Wade. “He made me do ten push-ups when I couldn’t identify the noun in a sentence. I was like, ‘Dude, it’s language arts, not gym class!’”
“And I’m not sure about that new girl either,” added Rose. “I don’t think she likes us very much.”
“Maybe we should try destroying them both with friendliness,” Amelia Bedelia said. She frowned. That didn’t sound right. She tried again. “I mean, let’s be extra nice and maybe they’ll be nice back.”
Heather sighed. “I don’t know about that. He’s the worst substitute Oak Tree Elementary has ever had. He never smiles.”
“And he doesn’t let us have any fun,” said Holly. “He’s the worst substitute in the history of substitute teachers!”
“Wow,” said Amelia Bedelia. “That would make him really really bad.”
“He is!” exclaimed Dawn. “He’s a total disaster!”
“A major catastrophe!” said Cliff.
Clay punched Cliff in the arm. “That’s it! That’s his nickname. Major Catastrophe!”
Tweet! Sergeant Strickland blew his whistle. Recess was definitely over.
“Well, at least he doesn’t make us run laps,” Angel said softly as they lined up in size order, shortest to tallest.
Teddy glanced around. “Shhhh, don’t give him any ideas!”
That afternoon in science class, Amelia Bedelia grabbed a seat right next to Candy.
Ms. Garcia grinned at the class. “Today we are going to learn about chemical reactions,” she said. “Specifically, acid-base reactions.”
Candy yawned. “I hope it’s not the erupting volcano experiment,” she muttered. “At my school we did that in first grade.”
Although Amelia Bedelia really wanted to be kind to her, Candy wasn’t making it very easy. She made a lot of comments about how things were better at her old school. The classes were more interesting. The cafeteria food was better. And the after-school clubs rocked.
Actually, Amelia Bedelia really hoped that they would be making volcanos in class. That sounded like her kind of fun.
“In other words, we’ll be building volcanos and making them erupt!” announced Mrs. Garcia.
The class cheered. Candy sighed and slumped down in her chair.
“Now, everyone grab a partner. You’ll need to get the following materials in the back of the room: goggles, an empty recyclable water bottle, clay, a metal tray, red food coloring, vinegar, dish soap, baking soda, and your lab instructions.”
Amelia Bedelia turned to Candy and grabbed her arm. “Partners?” she asked.
Candy shrugged. “Fine, sure, why not?” she replied.
LAB INSTRUCTIONS
1. Put a tablespoon of baking soda into the water bottle.
2. Use the clay to build a volcano around the water bottle. Place the volcano on the metal tray.
3. Add a few drops of red food coloring to the mouth of the volcano, to make it look like lava, plus a drop or two of dish soap, to make it extra bubbly.
4. Put on your goggles and pour a quarter cup of vinegar into the volcano. When the baking soda (the base) and the vinegar (the acid) combine, they will produce carbon dioxide gas that looks just like an erupting volcano!
Amelia Bedelia got the lab instructions and the goggles, water bottle, and clay. Candy picked up the food coloring, vinegar, dish soap, and baking soda. They started building their volcano, smoothing brown and green clay around the bottle.
They stepped back to check their work.
“It looks great!” said Amelia Bedelia.
Candy nodded. “It does look pretty good,” she said.
Candy added three drops of red food coloring and two drops of dish soap into the bottle. The two girls put on their goggles. Amelia Bedelia was so excited she forgot to measure the vinegar and poured it in, right out of the bottle.
“Wait!” cried Candy. “Isn’t that too much vin—”
Whoosh! The volcano erupted.
“Great chemical reaction!” said Ms. Garcia, coming over to see.
The entire class watched as the bubbly pink “lava” flowed down the sides of the volcano.
“Cool!” said Wade.
“Awesome!” said Penny.
“I think you forgot something,” said Joy. “Your metal tray!”
They all watched helplessly as the pink liquid lava oozed off the table . . .
. . . and directly onto Candy’s yellow ballerina flats. She gasped. Ms. Garcia hurried off to get paper towels.
“I can’t look,” Candy said. “Is it bad?”
Amelia Bedelia looked at Candy’s feet. “Not bad at all,” she said. “As long as you like tie-dye, that is.”
“Amelia Bedelia!” Candy yelled. “You ruined my new shoes!”
Dawn came over and put her arm around Amelia Bedelia. “You don’t need to bite her head off!” she told Candy.
Amelia Bedelia looked at Candy, then looked back at Dawn. “I don’t think she will,” she said. “She’s just mad at me.”
“Well, you shouldn’t talk to my friend that way,” Dawn told Candy. “It was an accident.”
On her way home, Amelia Bedelia thought about the two things she had learned that day:
Acids and bases mixed together make chemical reactions. And sometimes a mess.
And even though Candy had the best manners in class, Amelia Bedelia was starting to think that maybe she wasn’t all that nice.
Amelia Bedelia sat down in her seat and smoothed her flowered skirt. She looked around the classroom. Everyone was in their fanciest clothes. Joy had on a long dress with puffy sleeves and shoes with little heels. Holly wore a bright red dress, a charm bracelet, and a necklace with a gold locket. Most of the boys wore button-down shirts and dress pants. Pat even had a bow tie and vest. Candy walked in wearing a sleek jumpsuit, her hair in a bun on top of her head.
“She might not be the friendliest person, but she really has an eye for fashion,” said Dawn.
“Just one?” asked Amelia Bedelia.
“Just one what?” asked Dawn. She was wearing a silky blue dress and matching shoes with big bows on them.
&nbs
p; “Just one eye?” said Amelia Bedelia.
Dawn raised her eyebrows. “No, I’m pretty sure she has two,” she said. “At least I hope so!”
The class had been studying their table manners for weeks, and now it was time to put them to the test. They were taking a field trip to the fanciest restaurant in town. It was called L’Escargot, and they had learned the name was French for “snail” and that was also the restaurant’s specialty. Everyone in town knew that L’Escargot was the place to go to celebrate special occasions. Amelia Bedelia had been there just once before, for her grandmother’s birthday. She had passed on the snails.
Sergeant Strickland looked around the room. “Everyone is dressed to the nines!” he said. He wore a crisp pressed white shirt, blue pants, a tie, and his usual navy-blue jacket.
“I think we’re dressed to the tens!” said Amelia Bedelia.
“Affirmative!” said Sergeant Strickland.
The class lined up, shortest to tallest, and headed out of the classroom. Mrs. Roman looked up from her desk as they trooped by the main office. “Bon appétit!” she called out.
“Now remember to say please and thank you,” Sergeant Strickland reminded them along the way. “And no chewing with your mouth open.” When they arrived at L’Escargot, a man in a tuxedo came outside to greet them. While he chatted with Sergeant Strickland (in French, no less), Amelia Bedelia and her friends stared at the restaurant. It had a red sidewalk awning, gleaming glass windows, and the name L’ESCARGOT written on the main window in gold script.
“Hey, why did the snail paint the letter S on his new car?” Clay asked.
“Beats me,” said Cliff. “Why?”
“So everyone would say, ‘Look at that S car go!’” Clay answered.
“I don’t get it,” said Chip.
“Are you telling me you don’t know what escargot is?” asked Candy. “It’s snails. In a butter-and-garlic sauce.”
“No way,” said Wade. “You’re making that up,” He suddenly looked nervous.
“Way,” said Candy.
“The young lady is correct,” said the man in the tuxedo. “Hello, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Pierre, and I am the maître d’. Have you had escargot before?” he asked Candy.
Candy bit her lip and paused for a moment. “Of course,” she finally said. “I adore that dish.”
“Wow,” said Wade. “I’ll believe it when I see it!”
Sergeant Strickland held the door open, and Amelia Bedelia and her friends filed into the hushed interior of the restaurant, their dress-up shoes sinking into the soft carpet. The only sounds were the murmur of quiet voices and the soft clinking of utensils against the fine china. Amelia Bedelia took it all in, the gold and crystal chandeliers, the uniformed waiters, the bright white tablecloths, and the rich red velvet curtains.
Pierre led them past several well-dressed diners to a large table set with gleaming china and silverware. Amelia Bedelia noticed that no one seemed to want to sit next to Candy, so she was polite on the outside and slipped into the seat next to her.
She looked around at the serious faces of her classmates. It was one thing to practice good manners in the classroom. She looked down at the array of silverware and immediately forgot everything she had learned. Was she supposed to work from the inside out or the outside in? And was it top to bottom, side to side, and bottom to top? Which one was her bread plate? Which glass was she supposed to drink out of? From the expressions on her friends’ faces, she could tell that they were feeling a bit worried too.
Sergeant Strickland picked up his napkin, unfolded it, and placed it on his lap. After a moment, so did everyone else. “No need to be nervous,” he told them. “You know what to do. Just mind your manners and everything will be fine.”
Pierre explained to the students that they would be enjoying four courses: onion soup, a mixed green salad, chicken cordon bleu, and éclairs for dessert.
“Éclairs!” said Sergeant Strickland. “My favorite.”
A woman appeared, dressed in white and wearing a tall hat. She held a small dish in her hands. “Bonjour, students,” she said. “My name is Suzette, and I am the head chef. I wanted to welcome you to our restaurant. And I hear we have an escargot fan at the table. Where is she?”
Everyone pointed at Candy. Was it Amelia Bedelia’s imagination, or did their new student suddenly look very pale?
“We only have one more serving of escargot left, so I saved it for you,” Chef Suzette said. She smiled and placed the snails in front of Candy, along with a pair of tongs and a small fork. Candy stared at the little snails still in their shells. She looked as though she might be about to cry.
“Go on,” said Dawn. “I’ve never seen anyone eat snails before.”
“I . . . I . . . ,” stammered Candy.
“Whoa,” said Wade. “Are you really going to eat those things?”
“I . . . I . . . ,” stammered Candy.
“That is so gross,” said Clay. “I dare you.”
Candy, her face pale, looked at Amelia Bedelia in desperation.
Amelia Bedelia looked back. Then she lunged for her bread plate. Her arm knocked into Candy’s water glass, dumping enough water to drown the escargot.
“Oh no, c’est dommage!” cried Chef Suzette, scooping up the slurpy dish. “I’m so sorry, but you cannot eat soggy escargot—the flavor is ruined!”
“Remember, class, we never reach for things, we ask for them to be passed to us,” scolded Sergeant Strickland.
“Yeah, thanks for nothing, Amelia Bedelia,” said Candy. “I didn’t even get to have one.”
“My apologies,” said Amelia Bedelia. Just then she noticed that Skip, who sat on her other side, was reaching for her drink.
“Psst!” she said. “Don’t you know about the b’s and d’s?”
Skip looked puzzled. “Is that like minding my p’s and q’s?” he asked.
“Your peas and what?” asked Amelia Bedelia. She shook her head. “No, your b’s and d’s.” She did the okay sign with both hands. “The little b is for your bread plate and the little d is for your drink,” she explained.
Skip grinned. “That makes it so easy!” he said. He passed the trick on to Wade, who was sitting on his other side. In no time, everyone in the entire class was confidently eating the bread and drinking the water that belonged to them.
Their first course, onion soup, was served. A couple of kids struggled with the long sticky strands of melted cheese, and Chip had to be reminded to wipe his chin.
The salad course was easier, but there were still a few manners mistakes. Skip didn’t pass the salt and pepper together, and Heather left the table to go to the bathroom and forgot about her napkin. She was halfway across the room when it fell off her skirt and landed on the floor. A waiter quickly whisked it away, got a new one and placed it on her chair, and all was fine.
And everyone loved the chicken cordon bleu, which turned out to be chicken stuffed with ham and cheese and quite delicious.
Amelia Bedelia realized she was getting full. Since she wanted to save room for dessert, she placed her knife and fork in the “I’m done” position she had learned. Since she had only finished half her entrée, she was hoping she could take it home with her.
“May I put your food in a doggie bag, so you can take it home?” the waiter asked when he came to clear her plate.
“Oh no, I’d like to eat it myself,” she said, wondering how the waiter knew she had a dog. “May I have it in a person bag instead?”
“But of course,” said the waiter with a smile.
Sergeant Strickland seemed to relax a bit while the dishes were cleared. He nodded at the class as the waiters swept up the crumbs, and refilled the water glasses. The dessert course was next.
“Mmmmm,” said Sergeant Strickland, rubbing his hands together. “It’s the moment we’ve been waiting for!”
Wade picked up his dessert fork in anticipation. But it slipped through his fingers and fell to the floor. H
e forgot that he was supposed to leave it there and ask the waiter for another one, and he ducked under the table to pick it up.
As the waiter approached the table with a huge silver tray loaded with éclairs, Wade popped up, clutching his fork. “Found it!” he announced.
THUMP! His head hit the bottom of the platter, launching the chocolate-covered éclairs into the air. The pastries went flying every which way.
“Oh non!” cried one of the waiters.
Amelia Bedelia and her friends watched as the éclairs splattered on the floor, the table, every nearby surface. Amelia Bedelia winced as an éclair hit the oil painting on the wall behind her, leaving a trail of chocolate across the woodland scene.
As the waiters picked the pastries up off the floor, Pierre hurried over, wringing his hands. “I am so sorry,” he said. “But we have no more éclairs. Perhaps a nice fruit plate?”
Chip looked down and realized he had a squashed éclair on his lap. He held it up, pastry cream dripping between his fingers. “Look!” he said to Sergeant Strickland. “I saved you one!”
Sergeant Strickland just groaned and shook his head.
“And that is what you call a major catastrophe,” said Cliff. “For Major Catastrophe!”
On the walk back to school Clay couldn’t resist telling one more snail joke. “Why don’t they serve escargot at hot-dog stands?” he asked.
Amelia Bedelia & Friends Mind Their Manners Page 3