“No way,” said Teddy, shaking his head. “She looks way older than us.”
Just as Amelia Bedelia and the rest of the class got settled in their seats after recess, there was a knock at the door. Mrs. Shauk opened it. There stood Principal Hotchkiss and the new girl.
Amelia Bedelia knew it was probably not very good manners, but she couldn’t help staring. The new girl was even cooler-looking up close. Her hair was held back with a butterfly headband. Her nails were florescent pink . . . except for her pinkie fingers, which were gold. Instead of an ordinary backpack, she had a plastic see-through tote bag slung over her shoulder. Inside it, Amelia Bedelia could see a big feathered pen, a sparkly notebook, a pair of star-shaped sunglasses, and a furry pencil case that looked like a panda bear’s face.
Mrs. Shauk turned to the class. “This is what I was going to tell you this morning, before . . . well. You remember. I am delighted to announce that we have a new student joining our classroom. She comes to us all the way from Chicago! And the timing couldn’t be better.” She turned to the new girl. “We just started our unit on manners. This is the perfect opportunity to practice our greetings.”
Mrs. Shauk extended her hand to the new girl. “Pleased to meet you,” she said. “My name is Mrs. Shauk.”
The new girl smiled and shook Mrs. Shauk’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she replied. “My name is Candy.”
Candy! Amelia Bedelia didn’t think she had ever heard a sweeter name.
After everyone in the class had introduced themselves to Candy, Mrs. Shauk pointed to the empty desk next to Amelia Bedelia. “You may sit there,” she said.
“Why, thank you,” said Candy. She hung her bag on the back of the chair and slid gracefully into the seat.
Mrs. Shauk beamed and said, “And may I say, Candy, your manners are impeccable.”
Pat leaned over and high-fived Daisy. “We’re a shoo-in with Miss Manners in our class,” he said.
Amelia Bedelia looked down at her high tops and then over at Candy’s shiny pink boots. She had no idea what shoes had to do with anything. But she was feeling very positive about two things: 1. Candy’s wonderful manners were going to help them win the ice-cream party, and 2. She was sure that she and the new girl were going to become very good friends.
On Monday morning Amelia Bedelia unpacked her books, hung her backpack in the closet, put her lunch box into the bin, and got straight to work taking the chairs down from the top of the desks and sliding them into place. Her classroom job that month was Chair Patrol. It wasn’t her favorite job. She would be glad when the month was over and she was assigned a new one. But she took it seriously just the same. She got to school early each day, sometimes even before Mrs. Shauk arrived.
Amelia Bedelia thought about the ice-cream party as she worked. Would Mrs. Shauk serve ice-cream cones? Would there also be ice-cream sundaes and banana splits? Would there be different toppings? And what about kids who preferred milk shakes and ice-cream sodas? It was a lot to think about.
A voice interrupted her thoughts. “Where’s Mrs. Shauk?”
Amelia Bedelia looked up. It was Candy. Amelia Bedelia looked around. Candy was right. Mrs. Shauk was nowhere to be seen. That was strange. It was almost time for school to begin.
Just then Dawn came racing into the classroom, out of breath. “You’re never going to—”
“Hold your horses!” cried Wade. “You know there’s no running in the halls.”
Amelia Bedelia slid the final chair into place and glanced at the job board. Yup, Wade was Hall Monitor. Then she stuck her head out of the classroom and looked right, then left . . . but all she saw were students.
“I was just in the main office, and you’re never going to believe what I heard,” Dawn continued. “Mrs. Shauk’s mother is sick, and she took a leave of absence to take care of her.”
“Whoa!” said Skip. “Isn’t Mrs. Shauk too old to have a mother?”
“That’s not very nice,” said Angel.
“I heard it straight from the horse’s mouth,” Dawn insisted.
Amelia Bedelia was torn between feeling sad for Mrs. Shauk and her sick mom and feeling excited that there were horses at school.
“Where is the horse?” she asked. “In the main office?”
Dawn shook her head. “There is no horse. Just Mrs. Roman. She’s the one who told me the news. Principal Hotchkiss is bringing a sub to our class right now!”
A sub! Amelia Bedelia had not been looking forward to the leftover pot roast and eggplant sandwich in her lunch box. A submarine sandwich would be a much tastier choice.
Amelia Bedelia and her friends sat at their desks and watched the door expectantly. But when the principal arrived, Amelia Bedelia was disappointed to see that Ms. Hotchkiss had not brought a submarine sandwich. Instead, she had brought along a sub person, a substitute for Mrs. Shauk. Standing beside her was a very tall man with very short hair.
“Class, Mrs. Shauk has been called away on urgent family business,” Ms. Hotchkiss explained.
Amelia Bedelia looked at Dawn and wiggled her eyebrows.
“It is my pleasure to introduce you to Sergeant Strickland,” continued Ms. Hotchkiss. “He was once a student here at Oak Tree Elementary, just like all of you. He recently retired from the military, and luckily for us, he was available to be your substitute teacher until Mrs. Shauk returns. I am sure you will all be on your best behavior and make Oak Tree Elementary proud!” She nodded at the class and at the sergeant, and then left, closing the classroom door behind her.
Sergeant Strickland slowly surveyed the class, looking directly into the eyes of each student. He was not wearing a uniform, just a navy-blue blazer with gold buttons. His strong stance gave the impression of someone who could handle any situation. He gave the class a crisp salute. “At ease, people,” he said. Amelia Bedelia and her friends exhaled and leaned back in their chairs.
“Naturally, I expect outstanding behavior from each one of you while Mrs. Shauk is away,” he said. “Roger that?”
Amelia Bedelia raised her hand. “Roger is in the other class,” she explained.
“No Roger. Roger that,” said the sergeant, glancing down at Mrs. Shauk’s lesson book. “We will begin our march into manners with the most fundamental but most important skill of all, table manners.”
Then Sergeant Strickland did what he would do every day that he taught them. He hung up his jacket, unbuttoned his cuffs, and rolled his sleeves up above his elbow. It was his signal that it was time to get to work.
Chip raised his hand. “Mrs. Shauk told us we’re going to have an ice-cream party after we finish our unit on good manners,” he said.
“Well, we’ll see about that, son,” said Sergeant Strickland. He sat down on the edge of Mrs. Shauk’s desk. Amelia Bedelia stared at his crisp, ironed pants and polished shoes. It felt strange to have someone different in Mrs. Shauk’s place, even though she knew it was only temporary.
“Basic table manners,” Sergeant Strickland said. “List them.”
“You should ask to be excused and not just leave the table after dinner,” offered Rose.
“Affirmative,” said the substitute.
Rose was confused, as was the rest of the class. “Does that mean I was right?” she asked.
“Affirmative,” said Sergeant Strickland.
“Your napkin goes on your lap. Not tied around your neck,” said Teddy.
Sergeant Strickland nodded again. “Affirmative. You are eating dinner, not chasing cattle rustlers,” he said.
“And you definitely don’t blow your nose into your napkin,” said Penny.
“Or comb your hair or pick your teeth at the table. That’s gross too,” added Daisy.
“Talking about gross . . . you should never talk with your mouth full,” said Clay. “I learned that the hard way. My parents had a dinner party. I took a big bite of food just as my dad’s boss asked me what my favorite subject is in school. And instead of swallowing first,
I said, ‘Social studies,’ and spit mashed potatoes all over his face.”
The class erupted into laughter.
“Enough,” said Sergeant Strickland. “We need to be serious.”
“It was seriously disgusting,” said Clay.
Sergeant Strickland pointed to Amelia Bedelia. “What if you are sitting at the dinner table and you want the brussels sprouts, but the bowl is not directly in front of you. What do you do?”
“Nothing,” said Amelia Bedelia.
“Nothing?” said Sergeant Strickland.
“Nothing,” said Amelia Bedelia. “I don’t like brussels sprouts.”
Sergeant Strickland shook his head. “Say they’re string beans.”
“They’re string beans,” said Amelia Bedelia. Then she frowned. “But you said they were brussels sprouts.”
“Now they’re string beans,” said Sergeant Strickland. “What do you do?”
“Nothing,” said Amelia Bedelia.
“Still nothing?” asked Sergeant Strickland.
“I don’t like string beans either,” Amelia Bedelia explained.
Sergeant Strickland raised his eyebrows. He pointed to Wade. “What would you do?”
Wade thought for a moment. “I would say excuse me and then reach for the bowl.”
Sergeant Strickland shook his head. “Negative,” he said.
“Um, I would say, ‘Pardon my arm’?” Wade guessed.
“I think you mean ‘Pardon my reach,’” said Sergeant Strickland.
Wade smiled. “Yup,” he said.
“But that’s still not correct,” said Sergeant Strickland. He looked around the class. “Can anyone help us here?”
Candy spoke up. “It’s bad manners to reach across the table. You should politely ask the person who is sitting closest to the bowl to pass it to you.”
Sergeant Strickland nodded briskly. “Affirmative!” he said.
“We were taught manners at my old school in first grade,” Candy said.
“Well, la-di-da,” whispered Chip.
That morning they learned many new things:
1. Never point with a utensil.
2. Place your napkin to the left of the plate when you are finished eating or when you get up from the table.
3. Never place used silverware on the table when you pause while eating; always rest it on your plate.
4. Wait until everyone is served before starting your meal.
5. Don’t blow on your food, no matter how hot it is.
6. Always pass the salt and pepper together, even if someone just asks for one of them.
7. If you drop a fork at a restaurant, don’t pick it up. Ask for a new one.
Amelia Bedelia felt like her head was spinning. Table manners were turning out to be even more complicated than meeting and greeting manners. And that was saying a lot.
The day didn’t get any easier. In art class while Amelia Bedelia and her friends were setting up, Wade tripped and spilled an entire jar of yellow paint. SPLASH! It ended up all over Amelia Bedelia and Candy.
Amelia Bedelia looked down at her splattered T-shirt. “We’re finalists in a hot-dog-eating contest,” she said to Candy with a grin.
But Candy scowled. “Maybe it’s funny to you, but this is a designer sweater. And now it’s ruined!”
And Amelia Bedelia had to eat the leftover pot roast and eggplant sandwich for lunch. That was the biggest disappointment of all.
After Amelia Bedelia got home and changed out of her paint-splattered clothes, she did her homework, then headed downstairs for dinner.
“Oh no,” she said when she reached the dining room. “It’s not your anniversary, is it?” The dining-room table was set with their finest china, cutlery, and crystal, the stuff they only used for holidays and special occasions. There were cloth napkins, plus a fancy lace tablecloth and a floral centerpiece, and her mother had even polished her great-grandmother’s silver candlesticks. Everything glowed in the candlelight. Amelia Bedelia did a quick count. There were eight utensils at each place setting. Eight!
“No, cupcake,” said her mother. “That’s not for another three months.”
“Whew,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Then is it—”
“Nope. It’s not a holiday either,” added her father. “When you told us you were learning table manners in school, we decided it was the perfect time to show you how a proper table is set.
“Please take your seats, ladies!”
Amelia Bedelia’s father disappeared into the kitchen. Her mother picked up her cloth napkin, opened it, and placed it on her lap. Amelia Bedelia was relieved to see she didn’t shake it out. She now knew that was bad manners.
“Are you ready to dig in?” her mother asked.
“No, but I am ready to eat,” said Amelia Bedelia.
“Well, that’s good news,” said her father, returning to the dining room. “Because I come bearing the first course.” He placed a bowl of soup on top of each dinner plate.
“Yum, tomato soup,” said Amelia Bedelia. She stared at the utensils and reached for the spoon above her plate. “This one?” she asked.
“That’s the dessert spoon,” explained her mother. “You need your soup spoon. It’s to the right of your plate. The forks are always on the left and the knives and spoons are always on the right. Your soup spoon is at the far end.” She picked hers up. “Here’s the secret to navigating the cutlery. You work from the outside in. After every course, your utensils will be taken away. And the next one in line is what you will use next.”
“That’s easy to remember,” said Amelia Bedelia. She was starting to feel a little bit hopeful. Maybe table manners wouldn’t be so hard after all. She really really really wanted to be sure she and her friends earned their ice-cream party.
“Here’s another trick,” said her father. “I learned this after I mistakenly ate your grandfather’s dinner roll the very first time I met him. It was tasty but embarrassing.” He held up his hands and touched his index fingers to his thumbs, making the okay sign with each hand. “See how my left hand forms a small b and the right one forms a small d?”
Amelia Bedelia nodded.
“That’s how you know that your bread plate is on your left and your drink is on your right. So you won’t be eating your friend’s bread. Or drinking from your friend’s glass.”
“Wow,” said Amelia Bedelia. “What a great trick!”
While Amelia Bedelia and her parents ate their soup, Amelia Bedelia made pleasant conversation as Sergeant Strickland had instructed.
“. . . and that’s why I don’t think the new girl likes me very much,” she concluded. “Or our school. And I was really hoping we would be friends.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” said her mother. “I guess Wade’s paint spill really bent you out of shape.”
Amelia Bedelia stood up and stretched her arms and legs. “No, I’m fine,” she said. “Just disappointed.” She sat back down.
“Well, how about a new course,” said Amelia Bedelia’s father. He cleared the soup bowls and served the salads.
“Now we use the salad fork and knife,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother, picking up the next two utensils in line, one from either side of her plate. Amelia Bedelia did the same.
“That’s a lot of changes for you this week,” said Amelia Bedelia’s father. “A new classmate and a new teacher.” He considered this for a moment. “But maybe Candy’s having a hard time. Sounds like she might be feeling a bit like a fish out of water.”
Amelia Bedelia shook her head. “There’s nothing fishy about her.”
“Maybe she doesn’t feel like she fits in,” her father said. “This move has probably been a very big adjustment for her. Maybe you could give her another chance.”
“She makes it pretty hard,” Amelia Bedelia said, spearing a tomato.
“I have an idea!” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “Even though you may not feel like it on the inside, maybe you could try to be nice to her on the outside. It�
�s another way of being polite.”
Amelia Bedelia looked down at her plate and laughed. “Like the silverware? I should work from the outside in?”
Her mother nodded. “That’s right. Just like the silverware! And if you do it enough times, you might even end up actually being friends. Remember when you were nervous before you spoke at my town council meeting, but you acted confident, which turned out to make you really feel confident too?”
Amelia Bedelia nodded. “That did work.”
“That’s right,” said her father. “Sometimes you have to kill them with kindness!”
“Daddy!” said Amelia Bedelia.
Her father laughed. “Okay then. Just be really nice until she can’t help but be nice right back.”
“Bye, Mom,” said Amelia Bedelia as she headed out the door the next morning.
“Goodbye, babycakes,” said her mother. “Hope you can turn over a new leaf today!”
That sounded like a strange thing to do. But maybe it’s for good luck, Amelia Bedelia thought. So she did just that as she passed Mrs. Adams’s maple tree on the way to school. She needed all the help she could get. She also decided she would try a new approach with Candy and Sergeant Strickland. She was going to be very positive and hope that her insides would catch up with her outside.
Amelia Bedelia & Friends Mind Their Manners Page 2