(un) Broken

by Charlotte Daniels

  But as soon as they met the older couple, they fell in love, claiming them as our New York City parents. I love and will be forever grateful to the Sinclair’s for taking me in; it’s nice to have someone else to turn to… a family I can call my own. Even if it’s not official.

  “After your disastrous cooking attempts for the past two years, I’m pretty sure they know you suck. And that you’ve been buying and repackaging your contribution as ‘homemade’ ever since.”

  “How do they know? I was just printing out some recipe I found online for the broccoli salad I brought last time! Everyone wanted it.”

  Sprinkling crumbled Oreo’s onto the cheesecake, I laugh. “I’m pretty sure they only wanted it because they knew you wouldn’t have a clue what went into it. They have two girls. Do you honestly think your sudden culinary skills would go unnoticed?”

  “Well… Okay, fine. I see your point. Now will you help me?”

  I cover the cheesecake. “Why don’t you just buy something? And instead of trying to lie about it, just keep it in the takeaway tray? It’s not like you’re going to wash up the dish.”

  “Bitch.”

  “You love me, really.”

  “Yeah, whatever. Are you bringing Garrett to the barbecue?”

  I rest my hands on top of the Tupperware. Huh. I didn’t even think of that. But it’s not like we’re dating or anything. “Ah, I don’t think so? I mean, we haven’t really talked about spending time outside of our apartments… or the building. Don’t you think it would be weird to rock up with some guy and be like, ‘Hey guys, this is Garrett. He’s my neighbor. He brings me food, and I repay him with terrible sexual favors.’” I snort. “It’s not exactly the right place for that… is it? And what if he doesn’t want to go, and then it’s awkward? I shouldn’t ask him.” The skin around my scars prickles with heat as my mind works through all of the possible reasons for him to say no.

  “Ellie, breathe. Let’s just break that down into more manageable chunks before both our heads explode.” Her calming tone soothes me, and I swallow.

  “Okay.”

  “Good. Now… First, call Paul or Betty and see if it’s okay to bring Garrett. If they say yes, call Garret. Mention that you have a barbecue tomorrow, and you’d like him to come—as your friend.”

  Okay. I can do that. “But what if he says no?”

  “Then he says no. It’s not a big deal.”

  It’s not a big deal, she says. “But what if this is a sign that he’s not wanting to see me outside the apartment building?”

  “Ellie, he could say no for a bunch of reasons. He may have work, other commitments, or maybe he doesn’t want to intrude. If he can’t go, then ask him out and get him to pick the day. If he doesn’t agree, then you’re a booty call and you can stop wondering about it.”

  Popping the cheesecake into the fridge, I sigh. She has a point. Mia is one of the few people who can calm me down before I leap head first into the spiraling vortex of anxiety. You’d think I’d have my shit together by now… This is a perfect example of why I will never out myself.

  “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Mia.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “He’s actually coming over tonight for dinner, so… I might ask him then.” My heart flutters against my chest as I second-guess my decision. “And I’m helping him review some products for a new line he’s launching.”

  Mia lets out a surprised laugh. “You’re what? You’re testing out some of his sex toys?”

  “What? No! They have a new line of edibles and he wants me to try them. And then he wants to commission me to write a story about a woman using those products,” I aim to make my tone as nonchalant as possible, but the nervous fluttering in my stomach reveals how I’m really feeling.

  “I thought you were about to get into some kinky sex stuff! I was super excited for you. Now? Not so much,” she sighs, and I can’t help but laugh at the disappointment in her voice. Maybe that’s something I should add to my list? One day, anyway.

  “I think I’ve had enough embarrassing sex toy moments because of you. I’ve already dropped a dildo at his feet. And he found the one I hid in the couch.” I grimace, the memory replaying in my mind in a horrible, slow-motion loop of embarrassment.

  “Oh yeah, you mentioned he stayed over. What happened?”

  I wince. “I, uh, ended up giving him a lap dance… and then headbutted him in the dick.” Definitely not my finest moment.

  “You gave him a lap dance!” she shrieks. “That’s another one off the—Wait… Did you just say you headbutted him? In the dick? How is that even possible?”

  “It’s a long and embarrassing story that I never want to have to tell anyone. Ever.” Too bad my mind can’t stop replaying it.

  “And he still wants to spend time with you?”

  “I guess so?” Why does she sound so impressed?

  Mia’s giggles grow, ringing out of the speaker loud enough to scare a sleeping Georgie. “Oh… Oh, God… Ellie.” She continues to laugh, the wails putting a banshee to shame. “I can’t breathe. Only you, Ellie. Only these things can happen to you.”

  “Keep laughing and say goodbye to your share of cheesecake.”

  “You wouldn’t!”

  I click my tongue. “Wouldn’t I?” Even I can hear the villain in my voice. Maybe I should use that.

  The loud rapping on my door jars me from my thoughts. Fuck. It’s six-thirty, already? The clock on my stove confirms it as I leave the kitchen, hurrying toward the door.

  “Garrett’s here. I’ll talk to you tomorrow!” Brushing my hands over my thighs, I readjust my ponytail in hopes that it looks somewhat presentable.

  “Ellie, wait! You aren’t serious about the cheesecake, are you?” I grin at the panic seeping into her voice.

  “You should have thought of that before you ridiculing me. Bye Mia! See you tomorrow!” I sing, my smile stretching across my face at her gasp.

  “No, wait! Ellie—”

  I hang up the phone, a devilish grin spreading up my face as I open the door. Garrett’s mega-watt smile goes from happy to downright worried a second after laying eyes on me.

  “Ah. Should I come back? Or call an exorcist?”

  Laughing, I grab his arm, dragging him into my apartment. “Welcome to my lair.”

  “Okay, now I’m really worried.”

  Pulling him into the kitchen, I take the bags from his arms and heave them onto the counter before turning to him. Dressed in a slim-fit, navy-blue button-up shirt and dark-blue jeans, he looks good. Edible even.

  “I have a question,” I blurt out, my feet begging to retreat and find somewhere safe, where rejection is non-existent. “And it’s okay if you say no, I’ll understand. It’s not a big deal.”

  Garret frowns, his worried eyes searching mine as he nods. “Um… Okay? Shoot.”

  I open my mouth, but nothing comes out as my nerves choke off my request. God. Why is this so hard?

  Clearing my throat, I squeeze my hands together and meet his eyes as determination strengthens my resolve. “Will you come with me to a barbecue tomorrow? If you’re not doing anything. And only if you want to. Which you don’t have to. It’s cool if you don’t. But if you want to. That would be cool… too.” I grimace. Way to ask him out, Ellie.

  Garrett watches me for a moment, then steps closer, wrapping his arms around me. “I would love to go to with you. Do I need to bring anything? I don’t want to show up empty handed.”

  “Well, I haven’t actually talked to… let me make a really quick call.” Stepping back, I take out my phone, pressing it to my ear as I call Paul.

  “Hey, sweetheart! What’s up?”

  “Hey, I have a favor to ask…”

  “I don’t have the go-go strength in me like I used to but I’m sure I could bust some asses if we need to.”

  “What? I’m not asking you to rough someone up!”

  “Oh. You sounded pretty serious… I thought you needed some muscle.”

/>   I giggle at the thought of him being my ‘muscle’. Paul may be a big man, but he is more of a lover than a fighter.

  “No. I was wondering if it’s okay if I bring a guest tomorrow?”

  “Would this happen to be that Viking fella you got coffee for the other day?”

  My gaze drifts over to Garrett who’s leaning against the counter, pulling out some of his grocery haul. His crooked grin steals my gaze. “Ah. Yeah, it is. So… would it be okay if I brought him?”

  “Sure, Ellie-bear. I want to meet this fella if he’s going to be in your life. Make sure he’s a good one.”

  “Paul… It’s not like that.”

  “Ellie. You haven’t mentioned being with someone—or even dating someone—until now. So you can bet your ass I’m going to meet this man and do some digging. Find out what’s in his closet. And if there’s anything I don’t like, or anything that will put you in danger, I’m going to kick his ass.”

  I roll my eyes. “Okay. Garrett would like to know if he should bring anything tomorrow?”

  Paul grunts. “Trying to get in our good books already, eh? Any type of side will do. And you’re still bringing the cheesecake?” A small smile creeps across my face at the excitement tinging his voice.

  “When have I ever forgotten the cheesecake?” I ask, scoffing at the absurdity. “Oh! But Mia can’t have any.”

  Paul huffs, and I can practically see him shaking his head. “What did she do this time? You know what, I don’t want to know. I’ll watch the drama unfold for myself.”

  “Thanks, Paul. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

  “Yeah, you will, kiddo. Bye!”

  Hanging up, I walk back into the kitchen. Garrett looks questioningly at me.

  “So, Paul and Betty are my close family,” I say.

  “But I thought—”

  “I lived with the Sinclair’s after my parents died,” I continue, and he falls silent. “They’re my godparents. But Paul and Betty are… they’re like the parents I got to choose, you know? They’re amazing people.” I smile, my heart warming at the prospect of spending time with them.

  “I’m sure they are. And I take it that Paul will be giving me the third degree tomorrow?”

  “Maybe?” I can’t help the smile that pulls at my mouth. This will either be amazing or completely disastrous.

  Looking around the kitchen, vegetables and fruit cover my benches. “You do know I can shop, right?”

  “I know. But I thought at least this way we have more food for the weekend. And we can order in if we have to.” Kissing my head, he turns back to the cutting board and starts chopping the vegetables.

  Weekend? Together? My heart pounds in my chest as a lump forms in my throat. He actually wants to spend time the weekend together?

  “Do you ever really cook for yourself? I know you cook a special diet for Georgie, but I’ve never actually seen you cook for yourself.”

  Breathe, Ellie. Play it cool. Deep breaths. No need to panic.

  Hopping onto the counter, I take a piece of carrot and crunch into it. “Not really. I mean, if I want to, then sure. But I can order in. Georgie can’t. And besides, his home cooked diet is better for him. Less pollutants and carcinogens.”

  Garrett shrugs, his focus on the knife in his hands. “You’d think that some company would have started a healthy food takeout service for dogs. I think a lot of people would enjoy the extravagance of it. But it would definitely only appeal to a particular niche market that’s for sure.”

  “I agree. It would definitely be… paw-some.” I snicker, munching on the carrot.

  The knife in Garrett’s hand stops slowly, as he turns to face me, derision written across his face. My laughter grows.

  Garrett shakes his head before turning back to check on the stove where he’s already stir-frying the vegetables. Sex God and kitchen ninja? What else don’t I know about him? I hop off the counter, grab a couple of plates and watch the man work, his movements precise and efficient.

  “Do you always cook? When you’re at home, I mean.” I pop another carrot into my mouth and lean against the counter, watching as he sprinkles herbs and spices into the pan. My stomach grumbles at the smells wafting through the air.

  “Yeah. It’s… I don’t know. Relaxing? Peaceful?” He shrugs, his eyes flicking between our nearly cooked dinner and me. “Once you know what you’re doing, anyway.”

  Giving the dish one last stir, he scoops out enough for both of us and smiles, his expression soft… wistful, almost. Taking our dinner to the table, we sit across from each other, digging in almost immediately. I groan, the spicy and salty flavors warring on my taste buds. Cashew chicken is the shit.

  “How are you so good at cooking?”

  Garrett takes a sip of water and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “I was raised by a single mom. My dad left us when I was pretty young and my mom had to work to take care of us. I guess it just became a habit. When I was old enough, I’d cook dinner every night and leave it covered in the microwave for her. It was the least I could do considering she worked herself to the bone to support us both.”

  “She sounds incredible.” Awe fills me as I imaging a younger Garrett taking on those responsibilities, doing his part for his family.

  “Yeah. She was.” His eyes dull before dropping back to his plate. Realization dawns on me.

  “Oh God. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” Way to stick your foot in it. God, I’m an idiot.

  Taking my hand, he shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. It’s nice to talk about her.” His soft smile breaks my heart. “She died from breast cancer a couple of years ago. Around the time that you moved in, actually.”

  Guilt builds inside of me. And there I was being a bitch to him when he was dealing with the death of his mom. I’m a fucking terrible person.

  “I’m so sorry, Garrett. If I’d have known, I wouldn’t have been such a… Why didn’t you just leave me be?”

  “Because you reminded me of her,” he says quietly. “Even though there were days that she would be sad or heartbroken, she could still smile and find beauty in the world. And she still had it in her to berate me for not doing my homework. She was incredible.”

  “She sounds amazing.”

  “She really was.”

  “Do you have any other family? Brothers or sisters?”

  He shakes his head. “No. My mom was an only child. When she got with my dad, her parents basically disowned her. When she died, I thought I’d contact them. Maybe try to reconnect. But they didn’t want anything to do with me. Or my mom.”

  I frown. “Oh my God. That’s fucking terrible. Their own daughter died, and they didn’t want anything to do with her? Or you?” How could someone—anyone—be that cold?

  “I never really asked why they disapproved, but seeing as how he left my mom and me, I guess they didn’t want anything to do with us. And that’s okay. The guys from my unit were there for me. They’re all the family I need, you know?”

  I nod and reach out to take his hand, not saying anything. We sit quietly, lost in our thoughts. It’s moments like these where I’m thankful for the Sinclair’s. And for my friends. Between losing my parents, and the aftermath of my marriage to Mike, I wouldn’t be here, or as stable as I am, without them.

  After a while, I pull away and push my chair back. “Do you want some dessert? I picked up some amazing ice cream earlier today?”

  Garrett shakes his head, picking up our empty dishes. “I was hoping that maybe you’d still want to try to review some of those edibles for me?”

  “You brought them?”

  “Mm-hmm. They’re in the brown paper bag on the bench.” He nods his head toward the kitchen. “Why don’t I clean up, and you can take the bag to the living room? We can record there.” Without waiting for an answer, he moves toward the kitchen, rinsing off the plates and pans before stacking them neatly on the drying rack.

  God, he’s incredible. And his mom raised him right. Even if h
e can be a cocky know-it-all. Smiling, I reach over the counter and pick up the bag.

  “No peeking! I want you to guess what each of them are.”

  Spinning around, Garrett watches me over the counter, waiting for me to close the top of the bag. “Fine… But hurry up. I was looking forward to dessert.”

  He just shakes his head at me, turning back to the dishes. I wonder if he’s this well-kept all the time? What am I thinking? He’s not a damn dog. Speaking of which…

  I gently pick Georgie up from his day bed, cradling him to my chest, and pepper kisses over his face. “Come on, little man. Bed time.” I lean down, picking up his favorite stuffed bunny, and walk as stiffly as possible, trying not to jostle him too much.

  Opening my door quietly, I shuffle across the room. “Night, buddy.” I say as I settle him down onto his bed with his bunny, watching as he turns around in a circle before finding the right spot to sleep. But we both know he’ll jump on my bed during the night. I leave the room, shutting the door behind me.

  “Okay. So I was thinking. Would you be opposed to being blindfolded?”

  Say what now? “Ah… why? That seems a little excessive.”

  Looking sheepish, he scratches the back of his neck, his face turning a slight shade of pink. “I was reading that when one of your senses is shut off, your other senses are more open. So I was kind of hoping you’d like to, maybe, try that?”

  Blindfolded? My body wracks with shivers. “I… don’t know, Garrett. I don’t like the idea of not being able to see. Or have that taken away from me.”

  His eyes widen as he takes in my trembling form. “Oh, God, Ellie, I’m sorry, I forgot. We don’t have to do that, it’s okay.” He shuffles around, straightening my couch cushions.

  “What if I just closed my eyes? Would that be okay?”

  “No, Ellie. It’s okay. It was a stupid suggestion, I didn’t think—”

  “Garrett…” I interrupt, sinking onto the couch next to him. “It wasn’t stupid. With anyone else, I’m sure you will be able to do just that. But with me? The thought of being blindfolded? Not being able to see… it scares me. It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just… I can’t… I can’t do that.” I come to an abrupt halt, clamping my lips shut as my stomach roils threateningly.