Empire High Untouchables

by Ivy Smoak

  She sighed. “No. I don’t think I can face seeing anyone else tonight. You know what would make me feel better? Hiding out up here.”

  Matt glanced over at the closet again. I was pretty sure he couldn’t see me. Did he know I could see him?

  He cleared his throat. “I’d rather go back downstairs.”

  “Are you sure? I could think of a lot of things we could do right here.” She sat down on his bed again and I tried not to vomit all over the thousand dollar tuxes hanging in his closet.

  “Maybe later. Right now, I was hoping we could…dance.”

  Dance?

  Isabella smiled. “Now that sounds fun. Do you have any music up here?”

  “I meant downstairs.” He pulled on his fresh shirt.

  “Oh. Well, I guess I could use another drink too.” She stood back up and walked over to him. “But you have to promise to dance with me the rest of the night so I don’t look like a fool. Or else I might make a scene with Rachel and that would really ruin James’ night.”

  “One dance,” Matt said.

  “Oh, Matt.” She pressed her index finger against his lips. “I wasn’t asking.” She trailed her finger down, pulling at his bottom lip. “Dance with me the rest of the night. I’ll make it worth your while like always.”

  He didn’t say a word. I held my breath. Waiting for his response. What did she mean when she said, “I’ll make it worth your while like always.” Why was she touching him? Why wasn’t he pushing her away? I stared at Matt, willing him to tell her to leave. To kick her out of his freaking bedroom.

  Instead, he nodded his head.

  “There. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” She grabbed his hand. “Tonight is going to be so much fun now.” She pulled him toward the door and then the lights went out.

  For a second tonight, I hadn’t felt like a dirty secret. But now? I was literally sitting in a closet with a stain down the front of my dress. I was the definition of a dirty secret.

  And for some reason I waited. A minute. Maybe two. Maybe freaking fifteen. And as the seconds ticked by in my head, I knew Matt wasn’t coming back. He left me. He left me alone in his dark room. Locked away in his closet like the dirty secret that I was.

  I wiped away the tears beneath my eyes. Matt Caldwell was an asshole. And I was done believing a word from his mouth.

  I pushed open the closet door. I’d waited so long that my eyes had already adjusted to the darkness. I went to open his bedroom door, but paused. I needed to tell him what I hadn’t before. I’d let him kiss me instead like an idiot.

  I switched on his lights and walked over to his nightstand. The top of it was empty except for the bedside lamp. I opened up the first drawer. I swallowed hard. Like me, he had a huge box of condoms. But unlike me? It was open. I’ll make it worth your while like always.

  I rummaged through the drawer, looking for a notepad and pen. I found a pen but nothing to write on. I opened up the next drawer and froze. There was just one folder inside with Isabella’s name on it. I lifted it out of the drawer and opened it, assuming it was old school notes or something. But it was filled with pictures. Candids. Of her. I lifted up one. Then the next. And the next. They were all of Isabella. Her laughing. Her with her friends. Her freaking eating at some posh restaurant. I thought about the way she touched him. The way he didn’t flinch. He told me they weren’t dating. But Matthew Caldwell was a liar. It was the only thing I knew about him for sure.

  I grabbed one of the pictures and turned it over. I closed my eyes and it was almost like I could still feel his body pressed against mine. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you felt nothing and I’ll leave you alone.

  I opened my eyes and stared down at the back of the picture. “I feel nothing,” I wrote out. I didn’t sign it. He’d know it was from me. Besides, if he brought Isabella back to his room tonight, I didn’t want her to see a note from me. She tortured me enough. I didn’t need to give her any more ammunition.

  I walked out of his room, feeling the weight of the lie in the note. Because honestly? I didn’t feel nothing. I felt…broken. And I was pretty sure it was exactly how Matt wanted me to feel.

  Chapter 19

  Saturday

  “You’re shivering,” Felix said, breaking the awkward silence in the car. He shrugged out of his jacket.

  I couldn’t take his freaking jacket from him. I could barely even look at him. “No, it’s okay.” We were on a date and I’d made out with another guy. I wasn’t that kind of girl. So why the hell did I keep kissing Matt in dark places? This wasn’t me. I blinked fast, trying to hold back my impending tears. God, I was such an idiot. Felix was a good guy. A sweet guy who was literally holding out his jacket to me. And I’d kissed Matthew Caldwell instead. Again. I’d hidden in his freaking closet waiting for him even when it was obvious he was seeing Isabella. I was…the worst.

  “I’m overheated anyway,” Felix said, keeping his jacket outstretched toward me.

  I was sitting in the back of his fancy car in a wet dress that was more suited for the summer than the fall. I couldn’t even try to hide my shivering. But I deserved to suffer. I deserved it. And a part of me felt like I was shaking because I was angry. Angry with Matt, yes. But even angrier at myself.

  Felix wrapped his jacket around my shoulders anyway.

  The guilt was so heavy that his jacket felt like it weighed 50 pounds. I just needed to come clean. I needed to tell him the truth. That I’d made a mistake. Twice. But I’d never make it again. Matt was a thief. And a liar. He was such a freaking liar. I was done making mistakes.

  “Are you okay?” Felix asked.

  I pulled his jacket tighter, hoping the weight would suffocate me so I never had to have that conversation with Felix. No. I was so far from okay. “I’m fine,” I lied.

  “Tonight was fun, huh?” Kennedy asked, leaning forward so I could see her around Felix. “I love dancing. And Felix is such a great dancer, don’t you think?” She put her hand on Felix’s thigh.

  I grimaced. “Mhm.” I could see it now. Everything was so clear tonight. I’d learned the truth about Matt. And I’d learned the truth about Kennedy too. Rob was right. She clearly had a thing for Felix. Whatever had happened between them freshman year wasn’t over. At least, not for her. Being alone with the two of them in the car was unbearable. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that I’d kissed Matt. That I was sorry. That I was so fucking sorry. Kennedy deserved a great guy like Felix. Not me.

  Because I was a brother kisser. Potentially. A brother kisser that kept going back for more like the sick person I’d become. It would be easy to blame the tequila that I hadn’t wanted. But that didn’t explain the first kiss away. Honestly, nothing could explain either kiss away. And I was so upset with myself, because there was one more thing that had become clear tonight. I’d messed everything up with Felix. I’d messed it up and I couldn’t undo it. And I wanted to. I really really wanted to undo it all. I wanted to be with Felix. But even if I became a genie and undid everything, I couldn’t be. I couldn’t be with him because Kennedy liked him. And I couldn’t do that to Kennedy.

  Felix smiled down at me as we pulled up outside my apartment building. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

  “That’s okay. Thanks for the ride.” I started to open the door, but the driver got there first. I stepped out onto the busy city street without looking at the traffic. A car beeped at me as it sped by. I hurried to the sidewalk.

  Before I could walk up to the apartment, Felix grabbed my hand, pulling me back to him.

  “Are you trying to get yourself run over?” There was humor in his eyes.

  Maybe I was. Maybe all the secrets were too much. Being here in this stupid city was too much. I just wanted to go back to being invisible. “I’m sorry that tonight was a disaster,” I said. I was. Even if there was no way to fix it. I stared into his eyes. Why had I kissed Matt? Why? Why had I messed everything up? Felix had always been the right choice. The better choice.

 
“I can think of one way to make it better.” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and then his hand stayed put on the side of my face.

  He wanted that first kiss I’d promised him. I had to tell him the truth. He deserved to know the truth.

  “I believe I promised you something.” His face slowly lowered to mine.

  This wouldn’t be my first kiss. Not even my second.

  He drew a fraction of an inch closer.

  I couldn’t kiss him. I couldn’t. Not like this.

  Even closer.

  So why did I want him to kiss me anyway? I wanted him to kiss away tonight. To kiss away the pain in my chest. I wanted to pretend that none of the Untouchables had ever talked to me. That it had all been a nightmare.

  He was barely a breath away.

  I closed my eyes. And for a second I imagined that I was back in my hometown. That my mom was still alive. That I’d never been kissed. That everything was right in the world.

  Felix’s lips pressed against mine. I closed my eyes even tighter, wanting to believe my lies. I wanted to remember this moment. Ingrain it in my mind more than Matt’s kiss. Because this kiss was the one I was meant to remember until I was old and gray.

  His lips were softer than Matt’s. He tasted like tequila instead of cinnamon. His fingers didn’t dig into my skin with urgency, he held me like we had all the time in the world. He didn’t make me feel like a dirty secret. He kissed me right there in the middle of the busy city sidewalk because he wasn’t embarrassed of me. And his fingers felt like ice on my already cold skin as the apartment door beeped open behind me.

  Kennedy. Shit. I opened my eyes and saw her disappear into the building. All my lies came crumbling down around me. I was in NYC. My mom was dead. I’d been kissed three times. Nothing was right. I pulled away. “I’m sorry.”

  “Brooklyn?” Felix called after me.

  I ran to the door, catching it before it closed behind Kennedy.

  “Brooklyn!”

  I ignored him and ran after my best friend. She was the only constant I had now. The only person that was always on my side. What if she really did like Felix? What if I’d just messed everything up? “Kennedy!”

  She turned around on the step she was on. “Good way to end the night,” she said with a smile. Her arms were wrapped around herself like she was holding herself together.

  “No. No, not really.”

  She pulled her lips to one side as she studied me. “Why? I strongly doubt it was a bad kiss.”

  I shook my head. I couldn’t even focus on the kiss. Her words spun around in my head. She knew what it was like to kiss Felix. Wasn’t that what she was saying? “Do you like him?”

  “Who?”

  “Felix.”

  She started to shake her head.

  “Rob said that you had feelings for him. Is that true?”

  “What? I don’t even know Rob.”

  I joined her on the step she was standing on. “You didn’t deny it. You can tell me. I would never date him if you liked him. Just tell me.”

  “Well, I’m denying it now. I do not, in any way whatsoever, like Felix Green. If anything, I hate him. He’s so annoying.”

  I didn’t believe her. I didn’t believe her because of the way she said it. And the way she looked when saying it. And the way she’d been acting the last few days. And the way she’d run away when he’d kissed me. “Kennedy…”

  “I like…Cupcake. Okay? Happy now? The truth is finally out.” She threw up her arms like she had never been more exasperated with someone in her life.

  Oh. Wait, what? “Cupcake?”

  “Yes. Joe. Joe Dickson. Cupcake. And I didn’t want to tell you because I don’t know if he’s into me. But there it is. I have the biggest freaking crush on Cupcake. Even though he has a stupid nickname and he’s kind of short. I can’t help it. And I have no clue if he likes me back. I feel so…pathetic.”

  “You’re talking about Cupcake? The guy that hit me in the face with a dodgeball?”

  “You can barely see the bruise anymore. And I’m sure it was an accident. Besides, Brooklyn, he’s actually really nice. And have you ever tasted one of his father’s cupcakes? He brings me test samples of new flavors all the time. They melt in your mouth.”

  “Yeah, they’re good. My uncle loves them.” I didn’t mention the fact that they were pretty much banned from our apartment now.

  “My whole plan tonight was to make him jealous. Which I’m pretty sure worked great. Especially since you disappeared for like half an hour trying to find a bathroom. I got to dance with Felix the whole time and you should have seen Cupcake’s face. It was practically green.”

  “Well that’s…great. That’s awesome.” I breathed a sigh of relief. It all made sense. The way she kept putting herself between me and Felix. She wanted it to look like Felix had asked her to the party. To make Cupcake jealous. Cupcake. Who would have guessed?

  “God it feels good to get that off my chest. I love Cupcake!” she screamed in the stairwell.

  “Shhh!” I tried to scold but I started laughing. I was so relieved. She wasn’t mad at me. We were okay. And it left me hope that I could fix things with Felix too.

  “So what is this about Felix being a bad kisser?” she asked.

  Kennedy had just confessed her feelings to me. She deserved the same in return. And if I didn’t tell anyone I’d kissed Matt soon, I was worried the weight of the lies would kill me. “You’re spending the night, right?” I locked arms with her as we started to walk up the steps again.

  “Of course.”

  “I have a lot to tell you.”

  “Okay…” We climbed the steps in silence for a moment.

  I needed to be in my bedroom, the door locked securely behind me. I didn’t want anyone eavesdropping. No one else could know what I did. Kennedy was the only person I could trust.

  “This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with how long you were searching for a bathroom tonight?” she asked as we stopped outside my apartment.

  I pulled out my key. “I’ll tell you in a second. Keep your voice down. I’m hoping my uncle is already asleep.” But before I could put my key in the lock, the door opened.

  My uncle was standing there with a frown on his face. “You’re fifteen minutes late,” he said. “I was worried sick.”

  With everything that had happened tonight, I had completely forgotten about my curfew. It hadn’t even crossed my mind.

  “It’s my fault,” Kennedy said. “It took me forever to find the bathroom before we left. All the ones downstairs were under construction and…”

  My uncle held up his hand. “And you’re in love with cupcakes? Yeah, I could hear you yelling from the stairs.”

  “Actually Cupcake. Singular. He’s a boy at our school.”

  “Have you two been drinking?” my uncle asked.

  I swallowed hard. “No.” How much could one more lie hurt?

  He folded his arms across his chest. “You smell like a brewery. I told you two that I expected you to take better care of each other. But here you are again in the same state as last weekend. So I’m going to ask you one more time and I expect the truth this time. Have you two been drinking?”

  “Someone spilled something on her dress,” Kennedy said. “And we…”

  “Kennedy, I think it’s best if you head home,” he said.

  “But…”

  “Home. Now. Brooklyn, get inside.”

  I cringed.

  “But, Uncle Jim…” Kennedy started.

  “One more word and I’ll be talking to your mother. Go home, Kennedy.”

  Kennedy pressed her lips together, gave me an apologetic smile, and fled down the hall.

  My uncle opened the door so I could come in.

  I walked inside and started toward my room.

  “Not so fast,” my uncle said.

  I froze in my tracks.

  “I gave you a 1 o’clock curfew and you broke it. You told me you woul
dn’t be drinking tonight. But apparently you like to lie.”

  The tears I had been holding back all night started to spill down my cheeks. I was a liar. All I seemed to be able to do was lie.

  “And you lied again tonight when you so clearly have been drinking. I told you that I’m not an idiot. I know that kids drink. But you said you wouldn’t show up on my doorstep drunk ever again. And you’re wasted, Brooklyn. You reek of alcohol. You can barely stand up straight. What the hell were you thinking?”

  I wasn’t. I hadn’t been thinking clearly all week. Not since Matt kissed me.

  “Not only that, but that boyfriend of yours was the one that told me 1 o’clock. He was the one that confirmed you wouldn’t be drinking. He looked me in the eye and made those promises. I didn’t even ask him to.” He shook his head.

  I thought about how Felix had pressured me to drink. How he hadn’t mentioned the time at all. I didn’t have a defense. I gave in to him. And I lost track of time when I was hiding in Matt’s closet. But I couldn’t tell my uncle any of that.

  “He’s clearly a bad influence like Kennedy said. I don’t want you to see him anymore. End of discussion.”

  I wiped away the tears beneath my eyes. “What? You can’t forbid me from seeing him.”

  “Actually I can. And I just did. I gave him a chance despite my reservations. I gave him a chance for you. Because I believed that you had good judgment. But he failed. And so did you. You will not be seeing him anymore.”

  “This wasn’t his fault.” I stepped forward and realized my uncle was right. My body swayed and I had to place my hand on the wall to steady myself. I was drunk. I was such a freaking idiot.

  “You’re right.”

  What? “I am?”

  He coughed into his hand and cleared his throat. “It wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I’ve been too lenient with you. You’re grounded, Brooklyn. For one week.”

  “You can’t ground me. You’re not my mom.” And my mother had never grounded me. I’d never given her a reason to. I didn’t even know what being grounded entailed, but I assumed I wouldn’t like it.

  “I know, Brooklyn. I’m not your mom. I’m your uncle who took you in when you had no one else! I’m giving up everything for you. And if all I can do is teach you to make good on a promise, then so be it. I’ll do whatever it takes. Now you’re grounded for one month. Go to your room.”