I stood up and Logan remained behind me when Elliot finally reached us.
The silence was the loudest thing I’ve ever heard and when I noticed his eyes searching my face and noting all our similarities, I wanted to slap his face. He was looking at me like he was discovering someone new and amazing, except I wasn’t new or amazing.
I’d been around for years. Years when he chose to act as if I didn’t exist.
“Isabella,” he finally spoke in a voice I wasn’t expecting. He sounded tired.
“Elliot,” I replied.
“Why don’t we sit down,” Logan suggested from behind me.
We sat with Logan and me slanted east to face Elliot, who was sitting looking towards us. “I’m so glad yo-”
I held my hand up to stop him. I wasn’t here for him. I was here for me. I was here for Julian and our future. I was here to drop all my dead weight. I had already chucked my mother, now it was my father’s turn. “Elliot, I didn’t have Logan arrange this meeting so that we could get to know…form a relationship. I asked Logan to arrange this meeting so that I could make things very clear about where I stand with your request to meet and get to know me.”
“Of course,” he commented, quietly.
“I don’t care why you started sleeping with Loretta. I don’t care why you stopped. I don’t care if she was the only one you were cheating on your wife with. I don’t care if you have a million other unclaimed children walking the planet. I don’t care if you have a good job or if you collect cans to make a living. I don’t care if you beat your sons as they grew up or if you drowned them in polo shirts and private schools. All I care about is that one moment, in all the trillion moments in your life, that you made the decision to make me nonexistent,” I tell him. “Explain it to me, so that I can understand how a person makes that choice for everyone it affects.”
His eyes flit back towards Logan and if he was uncomfortable having this conversation in front of his son. Good. He should feel ashamed. “Isabella,” he began.
“Just tell me what made me dispensable, Elliot,” I ordered.
He let out deep, sad sigh. He knew he was on the hook for this and he had two choices, either answer or get up and leave. I really expected him to get up and walk away, but to my surprise, he answered and his words weren’t as much of a shock as he probably thought they’d be. “Loretta said you and she were a package deal. I couldn’t see you unless I left my wife for her,” he closed his eyes and shook his head like he could erase the memory of her selfishness. “She said if I tried to see you without agreeing to her terms, she’d keep me in custody battles until you turned 18.” Elliot quickly glanced at Logan again before his eyes returned to me. “I made the decision to spare my pregnant wife and son over my pregnant mistress and child.”
My eyes watered over and I didn’t know if it was from anger or pent up hurt. I just know I resented the tears no matter their reason. “Okay, I can accept that and I can even understand that,” I told him, because I could. I’ve been subjected to Loretta’s poison all my life, so I knew firsthand what dealing with her was like. But, it didn’t make it right. He still didn’t get to make a getaway unscathed. “However, you waited until you needed something from me before you reached out to me, so that doesn’t make your gesture as altruistic as you’d like it to.” I leaned into him so there was no mistaking my intent. “We both know that had you never fallen ill, you never would have looked me up. So, fuck you, Elliot and whatever bullshit you’ve been shoveling your wife and sons. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with your family.”
His voice full of shame and sadness, he admitted, “You’re right. I wouldn’t have.”
I could feel Logan tense up behind me. I actually felt bad for him. It had to be hard to see the man you looked up to all your life under the harsh, unforgiving lights of the truth. But I knew this moment here would make things easier for us. I knew after witnessing this exchange, Logan would never mention his father to me again while we built on our relationship.
Well…that was if Julian went for it.
“Okay, so here’s what’s going to happen,” I tell him. “You’re going to go about your life with my well wishes that you do go on to lead a happy, healthy life. But I want you to never reach out to me again. I want absolutely nothing to do with you, Elliot. Not because I’m resentful or because I’m holding a grudge, but because I’m happy in life without you and the drama your presence is sure to bring.”
“Isabella…” he started.
“Stop, Elliot. You don’t get a say in this,” I inform him. “I have no desire to bring hurt to your wife. That’s for you to do,” he winced, but I didn’t regret the barb. “I do, however, have a desire to get to know my brothers and if my husband”…okay, Julian wasn’t my husband, yet, but he was going to be very soon…”approves-and I don’t care how archaic that sounds-then we’re going to get to know one another without any interference from you. I’m done letting you taint pieces of my life.”
He looked behind me at Logan and I don’t know what he saw in his son’s face, but he looked back at me and said, “I understand, Isabella. And I’m sorry for whatever that’s worth.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “It’s worth less than shit, Elliot, but we were never here for anything you say to mean something. We were here so I could get to know my brothers.”
He nodded once, stood up and started walking back the way he came. I stayed seated as Logan got up and ran after his father. I sat watching them as they exchanged some words. I couldn’t hear them, but it was obvious that Logan was pissed and Elliot was resigned to take his anger.
The exchange last for a handful of minutes before Elliot was on his way again and Logan was making angry strides back to me. He dropped on the bench where Elliot had been sitting and resting his elbows on his knees with his hands clasped together in front of him, he dropped his head in silence.
I really felt bad for the dude.
“Logan…”
“Isabella, please don’t.” He took a ragged breath. “Please, just don’t.”
A few minutes went by where he stared at the ground and I surveyed the park and the people in it before he finally spoke, his voice a disappointing whisper, “I believed him.”
I turned to look at him. “What?”
“I believed him when he said he thought about reaching out to you every day and how he regretted abandoning you. I believed him when he said his illness was just the catalyst, but he knew he was going to reach out to you one day,” he explained.
“I’m sorry, Logan.”
He sat up and laughed up at the sky. The sound held no joy. “What a fucking asshole!”
I smiled, but I didn’t laugh like I wanted to. Despite Logan’s outburst, I knew he was hurt by his father’s betrayal; by how his father had used him. “Logan, don’t let this one thing undo all the ways he’s been there for you as a father.”
He looked over at me. “He used me, Isabella. He manipulated my feelings and curiosity about you for his own selfish needs.”
I shrugged a shoulder and reached out to rub his arm. “While all that is true, it still doesn’t nullify 30 years of doing right by you. I’m willing to bet you that he never viewed his actions as manipulating you, so much as he just needed something from me.”
His familiar eyes looked into mine. “That doesn’t make it right, Isabella.”
I smiled at my brother. “Well, then the payback is in him knowing that he’ll never escape his shame because his sons are finally going to have a sister.”
The edge of his lip lifted. “That is, if Julian approves.”
I did laugh this time. “Yeah, as long as Julian approves.”
Logan’s face sobered up and he reached out, taking my hands in his. “I really hope he does, Isabella. I meant what I said that day in your office. I really would like a sister and I know Steven and Jeffrey feel the same way.”
I patted the top of his hand like a little, old lady. “I promise I’ll spea
k with him, but it will be his ultimate decision,” I reminded him. I also thought I should add, “Logan, in all fairness, I think I should warn you that…well, if you and your brothers aren’t genuine, Julian will crush you guys. I mean, you do realize that, right?” I wasn’t sure if Julian still felt that way about me, but I felt I should warn him just in case he did.
He snorted. “Yeah, I’m not confused about that, Isabella. I thought he was going to goddamn murder me that day outside the café.” I let out a chuckle at his expression. “In all actuality though, when I wasn’t almost pissing my pants, I was kind of mesmerized by his…uh, intensity for you.”
His words broke my already cracked heart. “Yeah, everything about Julian is pretty mesmerizing,” I agreed.
“You’re a very lucky woman,” he said, sincerely.
I pulled my hands from his and stood up, putting an end to this conversation. While I did want to get to know Logan, Steven and Jeffrey, we were far from having heart to hearts. And even if we ever did get to that point, mine and Julian’s relationship belonged to us and us alone. Well, us and Chase, Nick, Avery, Quinn, Kane and Teresa. But no one else.
“Well, I have to get going. Thanks again for doing this for me, Logan.”
He stood and stuck his hand out for a handshake. “No problem, Isabella,” he smiled and then I did something I never saw myself doing.
I ignored his hand and wrapped my arms around his waist in a hug that touched me more than I thought it ever could. Logan’s arms immediately came around me and his hold was just as tight as mine.
Fuck Elliot Stanhope.
Chapter 22
Virtues: Because I’m not ever alone, no matter how I lonely I may feel.
Isabella~
After I had left Logan at the park, I had sent a text off to Julian telling him I had some things to take care of at the condo, but that I’d be home soon and I hoped we could talk. I wanted to call him and tell him how much I missed him, but he was right in his earlier text. We needed to talk face to face.
I was going back to my condo to take pictures and put it on the market. I’d been foolish for far too long and it was time to be the kind of person who deserved Julian’s love. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to be that woman, but I was going to try my hardest.
I was a few feet away from the front door when Peter’s door opened and he stepped out into the hallway. “Isabella, it’s so good to see you,” he greeted.
I smiled back. “Hey, Peter. It’s good to see you, too. How have you been?” I wasn’t really here to socialize, but Peter’s always been nice to me and he didn’t deserve any rudeness.
“I’m doing well,” he answered. He gestured towards my front door. “What are you doing here? Moving back in?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m not. I’m actually here to take some picture. I’m putting it up for sale.”
His smile fell a little, but it was so quick, I wasn’t sure if it actually did. “Oh, well. Did you need some help?”
I headed towards my front door and started unlocking it when I asked, “With taking pictures?”
He followed until he was right next to me. “Well, with whatever you need,” he clarified.
I had the door open and I was halfway through when I turned to face him. I didn’t need help taking pictures, but it was a nice offer. “Thanks, Peter, but I think-” The push he gave me was so hard and so unexpected, I landed halfway into the living room.
I hit the floor so hard, my purse went scattering in the direction of the kitchen and my shoulder knocked against the coffee table. I turned over and crab walked my way towards the couch and used the armrest to pull myself up.
Peter was standing in front of my, now, locked front door. My eyes immediately went to the deadbolt and I realized the door was really, really locked. “Peter…”
I didn’t know this Peter. This Peter’s face was contorted in fury. “So what, is that it, Isabella?”
I guess the question of who my stalker is has finally been answered.
“Is what, what, Peter?” I had to think, as it all finally came into play. How the card hinted about me moving. How he mentioned that the flowers were from a secret admirer that day in the hallway. I was suddenly filled with regret that I had only had a few sessions with DeShawn. Would anything he’s taught me so far help right now?
“You’re just going to ride off into the sunset with no regard to anyone else?” he spit at me.
I shook my head at him and made my way behind the couch so that there was some sort of barrier between us. “Peter, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I told him, even thought I knew exactly what he was referring to.
He pounded his chest with his fist as he walked deeper into the living room. “I’m the one who’s loved you and has looked out for you since I moved in last year. I have checked on your condo, gathered your mail when you were out of town, made sure the building was always safe for you!”
Oh shit! “Peter, I thought you did all that because we were friends. I-”
His hands fisted by his thighs. “I did all that because you were supposed to be mine!” he screamed. I prayed his rant was loud enough for a neighbor to take notice. “But then you go and spread your legs for that motherfucker and you move in with him after only a few months!”
“Pete-”
“Then you start rejecting my flowers and now you come back here telling me you’re going to sell you condo. Does that mean you’re going to marry him?” he asks in a voice devoid of all reason.
“Peter, I didn’t know you felt this way,” I tell him, honestly.
He’s beyond reason when he screams, “Are you going to marry him?!”
I thought quickly through everything DeShawn has taught me so far. One of the things he stressed as important was to size up your attacker if you’re able to. Peter looked to stand at only 5’10, but compared to my 5’4”, he still had a decent few inches above me. I was in scandals, so I didn’t even have heels to help even our heights out, or flat out stab him with one of them. His dark blonde hair was cut professional and tight, so I didn’t think I’d be able to get a good grip on his hair if I had to use it for leverage. I could try to poke out his dark blue eyes, but if I could keep from being any where near him, I would. His body didn’t seem very muscular, but I couldn’t really tell underneath his clothing and I never took the time to pay attention before. There wasn’t even a goddamn plastic fork in the place to defend myself with. We had emptied out the condo, thoroughly, the day I moved.
The place was spotless.
I needed to get to my phone or just flat out start kicking his ass. I let DeShawn’s voice run through my head and I looked for signs of weakness or an impairment of some sort. Could I actually take him? I scanned the living room again and I knew without a doubt there wasn’t anything I could use as a weapon. I was actually going to have to try to kick this man’s ass and make a break for it.
He stepped closer. “You’re going to marry him, aren’t you?” he asked again.
Fuck it. “Yes, Peter, I am,” I admitted. “I’m sorry things turned out this way, but I didn’t know how you felt and now it’s too late. I’m in love with Julian.”
His face lost all expression and his eyes became vacant. It was like looking into a shark’s eyes. They were dark and lifeless. “Okay,” he responded. “Go head and go on and marry the prick, but before you do,” his smirk was sinister and ugly, “I’m going to fuck that hot, little body of yours up so badly, he’ll never want to touch you again.”
DeShawn’s voice skipped through my head. “If an attacker’s objective is to rape you, his concentration will be on the removal of your clothing. I know it doesn’t seem like it’s much, but a second’s worth of distraction is still a distraction. Unless he has a weapon, you can use his focus on removing your clothes to your advantage.” I was wearing a thin blouse, but I had jeans on and those shouldn’t easily come off, right?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I decided to go with bravery. Fear and meekness weren’t going to get me anywhere. “Julian will kill you if you touch me, Peter,” I said with more bravado than I felt.
He shrugged a shoulder as he took a few more steps towards the couch. “Maybe, but not before I get inside his precious girlfriend.”
I braced my shoulders and straightened my back as I faced him head on. “This isn’t going to go the way you think it’s going to, Peter,” I told him. “You still have a chance to walk out and save yourself.”
His dark, blue gaze roamed over my body and I knew there was no talking him out of his plan. “I’ve always wanted you, Isabella, but now you have me curious. What’s so special about you that your boyfriend would kill for you?”
If I was going to go down, it wasn’t going to be like a pussy. “Because he’s a real man, Peter,” I threw at him. “He doesn’t need to force women to be with him like a little bitch!”
That was all it took.
He let out a roar so full of hate that I could see the evil emanating from his person. I took off and ran towards the bathroom. If I could get to the bathroom, I could take the toilet tank top and beat him with it. I couldn’t think of anything else in the condo that I could use.
My feet took me towards my destination, but unfortunately, my sandals weren’t made for running and I lost all traction as my feet slipped out from under me and I went sliding into the bathroom door. I scrambled to get to my feet and I had one hand on the doorknob before my body was wrenched away and thrown back to the floor. The asshole was stronger than I had given him credit for.
Or maybe his rage was making him stronger.
I looked around for anything that wasn’t bolted down or that I was capable of lifting, but I couldn’t see anything. I clambered to get up again, but this time my ankle was seized by his strong grip. I twisted my body and started kicking out at him with my other leg.
And then I remembered what DeShawn said during one of our lessons. “When all his attentions are focused on holding you down or captive, look to see how you can incapacitate him. Think. Always think. Fear is your real attacker”.
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