Sausalito Nights (Montgomery Beauty Book 1)

by Stephanie Salvatore

  Darkness closed in around me. This wasn’t happening. No harm or heartbreak could touch us. We were Lorelai and Christopher. The most uncomplicated pair of love birds. Nothing or no one would come between us because our love would conquer all; but something did and now, I felt numb of every emotion and I wasn’t confident in anything. Myself, my relationship, maybe Uncle Thad was right. A Castillo should never turn his or her back on family. It would bring traumatizing heartbreak into your life.

  ***

  Hours passed before I was signing discharge papers from the emergency room. Handing the papers back to the nurse, Chris stood with a wheelchair in front of him and came around with the nurse to help me stand from the hospital bed and sit down in the chair.

  I sat with ease and looked up at the nurse that held out the aftercare paperwork. Slipping it out of her fingers, I folded it in half and shoved it in my purse.

  Chris knelt down and moved my feet into the footrests on the chair before he looked up to me with concerned eyes. “Let’s get you home.”

  I nodded in silence and looked on as he backed me up out of the room and wheeled me toward the exit. Locking the wheels, I felt his breath against my ear. “I’m gonna go get the car, okay?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be fine waiting here,” I said, feeling detached. There were no emotions left in me. I felt blank..

  He left and came around with car. He stepped out and carefully helped me into the car before he returned the wheelchair to the lobby We took off back toward the Golden Gate yacht club. Upon arrival, we walked back toward home and headed down into the cabin. I went straight to the bedroom, kicked off my shoes and climbed into bed.

  Christopher stood in the doorway and we stared at each other in silence. I didn’t know what to say to him. I wanted to be left alone, but I knew he wouldn’t go for it.

  “Do you want me to make you something to eat?” he finally asked.

  I turned over, my back now facing toward him. “No.”

  He sighed softly. “You should eat something, Lor.”

  “I’m not hungry, Christopher.”

  “Okay. Fine. Do you need anything else?”

  I remained silent. “I…no. I just want to be left alone right now.”

  “You shouldn’t be alone,” he pleaded.

  Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. “I don’t care right now. Please, just leave me alone. I’ll fend for myself. Okay?”

  He inhaled a deep frustrated breath. Perhaps he felt as helpless as I did? “I’ll come check on you in a little while then.”

  Stubborn man. That’s all he was. What didn’t he understand? “Fine.” I left it at that because I didn’t want to say something I would regret.

  ***

  I fell asleep no sooner after he left and slept until the next morning. Opening my eyes, I looked around and saw Christopher passed out in the recliner in my bedroom. He cared and had extraordinary ways of showing it. I had a million emotions going on. I placed a hand over my stomach and sat up. Going into the kitchen, I pulled out the eggs and bacon placing them in a skillet. Once the heat on the stove had started cooking the protein for a hearty breakfast, I cut up some fruit and poured two large glasses of milk. After setting the table out on the deck, I returned to retrieve Christopher. Leaning down, I pressed a gentle kiss against his lips.

  I smiled as he began to kiss me back, the gentle touch of his fingers smoothing against my waist as he pulled me into his arms down onto the bed gently. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held onto the passionate kiss. “Mmm… breakfast is hot and ready on deck, handsome.”

  He pulled back and looked up at me. “Mmm… you’re feeling better today.”

  I smiled at him. “I feel amazing. Little bean needs nutrition to grow big and strong.”

  He looked up at me with furrowed brows before his facial expression dropped and he sighed. “You should go keep an eye on it before the seagulls steal it and fly away.”

  Giggles left my lips. “I covered it, silly. Come on. Get dressed.” I pecked his lips once more. He agreed with my statement. Perhaps yesterday was a nightmare and I wouldn’t have to accept anything more of it. Leaving the bedroom and heading up on deck holding his hand, I decided I would go with the positivity despite the empty feeling, lack of flutters replaced by painful cramps.

  He pulled a chair out for me and pushed me in. We sat down to eat and watch the boats float by and the birds fly over the water as they too were looking for breakfast.

  Silence remained between us as we ate, and I noticed him watching me closely. “We should talk about the elephant in the room, Lorelai.”

  And now it was ruined. “We don’t have to.” I said simply.

  “We do though. This is a big deal, and it’s okay to grieve and let your emotions through.”

  I shook my head. “I’m fine, Christopher. We’re going to be parents to a little bean. My brother will protect him or her from the other side and my parents are leaving Sausalito. Everything is more than okay.”

  He sighed deeply and I looked at him and then past him. Why was he doing this?

  “Lorelai, I know what you’re trying to do here and I understand that it hurts in more than one way.” He trailed off. I knew he wanted to continue and say more.

  I shook my head. “I don’t think you do understand. I know you think we can get through this together, but there is no getting through this. A life was lost, hell, lives have been lost and…and I can’t help but feel at fault. There was something I could do. I know there was and whatever it was, cutting stress out, eating healthier, cutting ties off with my family sooner. Exposing Santino for what he was trying, could’ve saved my brother! I could’ve prevented this entire mess.”

  He stood up and walked toward me. I stood up before he reached me. “Don’t, Christopher. Look. I know you want to help but you can’t help me. I’m not able to be helped.”

  Tears filled his eyes as he stared at me before I turned away from him. I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t face any of this. It was too hard. Too much. I’ve accepted that I’m just a stupid girl that can’t do anything right. I fucked up being a daughter, a sister, a mother; and because I didn’t do everything exactly perfectly right, I fucked up being a lovable woman.

  I heard footsteps come up behind me, his long arms wrapped around me from behind. “Please, Lorelai,” he pleaded. “These terrible things that keep happening are not your fault. I promise they’re not.”

  Pushing his arms away, I stepped away. “I know what I’ve done and I know the burdens I’ve caused you and everyone else around me.” I turned around to face him because he deserved eye contact while he heard these words so he knew they were true. “I fucked up, Chris; and I know that I’ve hurt you. You don’t deserve this and I’m so sorry.”

  Tears fell down his tanned skin. “The miscarriage was not your fault. Neither was the fact that your parents tried to keep us apart, or the fact that Armani is dead. None of it is your fault, baby.”

  I shook my head. “Yes it is and that’s why….” I choked on the tears raising in my throat. “That is why we can’t be together.”

  He looked at me with those lost puppy eyes. “What? Lorelai, no! I love you…I’m head over heels in love with you.”

  “I don’t deserve your love, Christopher! You may not be able to see it now, but you will!”

  I didn’t know what came over me. I felt angry and shattered, and I didn’t want to tear him down with me.

  Tears filled my eyes and fell down my cheeks. “I think you should leave now.” I spoke above a whisper.

  The pleading and broken emotions reigned through his eyes along with the fallen look on his face. I caused so much turmoil everywhere in the people’s lives that meant the most to me. I turned away from him as I imagined myself tearing the heart out of his chest, watching it turn to glass and shattering right before me. I could almost hear the glass breaking. The shards of glass causing blood to drip slowly down my hands and arms.

  “Y-yo
u’re breaking up with me?”

  I snapped out of the dark image haunting every corner of my brain. “It’s for the best, Christopher.” I trembled. “Don’t make this harder than it already is. Please.” I sobbed through my words.

  He turned me around, and placed both his hands against my cheeks. “For whom exactly?” His voice cracked. God. What was I doing? Forcing him away from me would break both of us, yet I was so god damn insistent that this is what we needed.

  “For both of us,” I lied. I was lying both to him and myself. We wouldn’t be better off apart, but I couldn’t admit that to him.

  He shook his head. “No. I know this isn’t what you want. If you need time and space, fine. But I won’t let you push me away for good.”

  I paused for a long moment as I sunk my teeth into my lower lip. “Chris…don’t make this harder than it already is.” My voice cracked as a sob found its way through..

  He brushed his thumbs against my cheeks, leaned in and planted his soft lips against my forehead. He inhaled a shaky breath, and I could tell he was fighting back his own emotions. “Okay, if this is what you want. I’ll pack my stuff and go.”

  His fingers lingered away from my cheeks before he took a step back and disappeared into the cabin. More tears fell freely, soaking my cheeks. My knees wobbled as I turned to look and see if he would come back and fight me on this. When he didn’t, I sobbed quietly and fell to my knees against the wooden boards beneath me. He couldn’t know that I felt any different. I wanted him to be free of the dreaded Castillo Curse that I was. I brought nothing but angst, drama, and heartbreak into his life. He deserved more, and I was sure he would find it without a problem. Any woman would be lucky to have him. I would have to accept that I could no longer fill those shoes.

  Quickly moving up on my feet, I realized I couldn’t stay here once he left. I would disappear into the Pacific Ocean, maybe permanently.

  A few minutes later, Christopher emerged from the cabin with his bag over his shoulder as I prepared to set sail. “If you need anything, you know where I’ll be.”

  I turned to look at him. “Thanks, but I think we both need to keep our distance.” I wore a brave face so he wouldn’t change his mind, but I could feel the shattered pieces of my own heart breaking further.

  He bit his lower lip. “Right. Well, you take care of yourself then, Lorelai.”

  I stared at him for a moment. Part of me, er… my whole heart, wanted him to stop and fight for us. Instead, I said, “You too, Christopher.” I stood frozen watching him step off the vessel. The further he walked away, the urge to scream for him to come back became stronger; and yet, I continued to resist.

  Shattered Glass

  Christopher

  Leaving Lorelai behind on Cakes and Pies paralyzed my state of mind. My heart beat loudly in my ears while memories and thoughts of the time we had raced through my mind. My own voice multiplied yelling and screaming, telling me to fight. This was not how it was supposed to play out. We were stronger than this, we were supposed to be stronger than this. I know that our parents didn’t want us together, but we jumped those hurdles. We were Montastillo strong. She represented beauty in all forms, her wit and my grumpiness kept our relationship growing at speeds of lightning. She proclaimed me to be the perfect man for her, her prince charming, her hero, the human furnace that kept her warm through the cold Sausalito nights. What she didn’t see was that she was my hero, too. She saved me from the imminent murder her father would have committed out of spite after I refused to take his money in return for leaving his daughter alone because I was madly in love with her.

  Placing the car in park as I arrived back to the Castillo Yacht Club, I rubbed my hands over my face. Stepping from the car, I paced back and forth. I left because she wanted me to. I followed through because that was her wish. Had I really made the right decision? Was she testing me? Should I have refused to leave and stuck by her side? Was she lying about how she felt? There were so many questions that I couldn’t decide whether I made the right move. Moving my hands behind my head, I began to pace once more. I shouldn’t be here. I should be there making sure she’s okay. That’s what any man would do after his girlfriend miscarried his child. Dare I go back now? Or do I respect her decision and give her the space she asked for? I bit my lower lip as tears filled my eyes and threatened to spill over. Swallowing the godforsaken tears back, I grabbed my bag from the backseat and made my way back toward my parents’ house. My parents sat out on the patio with their morning coffee; and from the raised eyebrows that appeared on their face, I could see that they weren’t expecting me.

  I avoided them and went straight toward the staircase.

  “Christopher? Are you okay?” My mother called from the bottom of the staircase.

  I stopped in my footsteps. “Yeah. I’ll be fine, Mom. What time is Dad leaving for work?”

  “In a little while. Should I let him know you’re going to ride with him?”

  I paused for a long moment and sighed. “No. I’m going to take a shower and work on homework.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, Mother.” I tried to not to give away my shattered heart and soul.

  “Okay sweetie.”

  Heart palpitations coursed through the left side of my chest after I made it to my room. Leaning against the door, I closed my eyes, taking myself back to our first touch, kiss, the first time I saw her with and without clothes on. The way she looked at me with her brilliant blue eyes were staring at me softly, loving, playful, mysteriously, or she was narrowing her eyes at me because I threw off her thought process. I was madly in love with every part of Lorelai Castillo. She had a heart of gold and she gave it to me. Oh god. What had I done by leaving her? Did I break her? The answer was yes. I might not have been able to protect her from Armani’s murder, but there had to be something I could’ve done to comfort her through the aftermath of the miscarriage. My head spun with memories and possibilities of how this break up would pan out. Would she show up to my house with a box to give me back everything that I left on the boat? Would some of those items be the framed photos she took of us and decorated the inside of Cakes and Pies with? Would she want her radio and the key to Cakes and Pies back?

  Hours passed and my head was in a really bad place. The reality of the breakup and our future as parents, or lack thereof, set in. I locked myself in my bedroom, refusing to eat nor socialize with my parents who had both come up to check on me in the last several hours. I tossed and turned throughout the night, fighting myself to try and sleep but failed at the task.

  The following morning, I managed to convince my mother that I wasn’t feeling well and she called me out of school. Going back to my room, I stripped my clothes off and decided to take a warm bath. Perhaps the warm water would relax my mind enough to sleep. Slipping into the tub, the attempt to take Lorelai off of my mind proved to be impossible. I started the water and plugged the drain, allowing the water to fill the tub. Submerging under the hot water, images of the last thirty-six hours ran through my head in slow motion. Discovering the blood in the shower under Lorelai’s feet spreading through the water blasted an arrow through my heart. The course of the weeks that passed us by since we’d found out she was pregnant were busy, but they were some of the best days we spent together. Outside of school, we spent the days decorating for the holidays, lounging around in our pajamas while she read from a parenting magazine. She would tease about our child naturally giving me a hard time, she thought it was the funniest scenario in the world. When she wasn’t teasing me, we were plotting out the sailing adventures we would take our bean on. Places we could drive on land were pinpointed on a map, with red dots; and Lorelai managed to find little sail stickers to stick on ports we could venture to up and down the West Coast, from Seattle down to San Diego. The memories of Lorelai simmered to the present time. What was she doing now? Was she resting or getting enough to eat and drinking water to keep herself hydrated? All of these key components to living a
solid healthy life circled through my mind. I wasn’t only head over heels in love with her, I cared about her well-being like any damn good boyfriend should. Here I was at home when she needed me there most. Unplugging the tub after the water grew cold, I showered and dressed myself. I sat down and attempted to work on my homework, another task Lorelai and I tackled together.

  Sighing, I gave up. There was no focusing in the moment. I crawled into bed, burying myself under the covers. This was a nightmare. Perhaps if I went to sleep I would wake up and this would all be over. Closing my eyes, I drifted off to sleep. The image of waking up to Lorelai watching me sleep when I woke up came to mind; and if she wasn’t, I would go to her.

  ***

  Hours later, I blinked my eyes open and it was pitch black in my room aside from the alarm clock that sat on my night stand that read 10:00 p.m. Silence filled the house. Leaning on my elbow, I reached to turn the lamp on and stepped out of bed. I couldn’t accept the reality of this break up. Using the bathroom, I came back to my room, sliding a baseball cap over my messy hair, and slid my flip flops on before I tiptoed down the steps with my car keys and wallet on hand.

  Arriving to the parking lot, memories of meeting Lorelai here ran through my mind. Sadness grew through my mind as I spotted her car, but she was nowhere in sight. Getting in my car, I drove to the Golden Gate Yacht Club, parked and made my way inside to where I left her earlier.

  Stepping over the threshold to the yacht, I saw lights on through the curtained windows and knocked.

  A moment later, the door opened and Lorelai stood there in her robe. She looked drained, her hair back in a messy ponytail. “Christopher? What are you doing here?”