“Take the rest of the day to put together what you’re going to say and tomorrow we’ll try again.” Her authoritarian tone gave zero room for bargaining.
I took a deep breath. “Okay. Can I go see the kids now?”
She nodded and scooted her chair to the side. “Go on.”
I hurried past her and down the hall. When I got to the playroom the happy, smiling faces of my little friends reminded me that my life wasn’t really over. One bad phone call wasn’t the end.
“Hi everyone,” I said as I carefully made my way through the maze of toys and children to the reading nook and sat in my favorite bean bag. It was one of the few big enough for me. The kids were generous enough to save it for me most days.
“Miss Serena, can you read this one?” a sweet little girl with bright blue eyes asked me.
I took the book about a fearless prince that saves the princess and nodded. “Of course.”
She crawled onto the bag next to me and snuggled against my shoulder as I began. A few other kids gathered in front of me and I relaxed for the first time today.
* * *
“What does it say?” Vanessa was moving from side to side, attempting to read my screen while I shuffled away from her.
“Let me open it and I’ll tell you.”
Her shoulders dropped and she finally stood still.
I’d been drying my hair when a text from Cian came in. She walked in at that moment to borrow a lip gloss and saw the screen light up at the same time I did. If I was a millisecond slower, she would have my phone right now.
I tapped the message and scanned it before reading it out loud. I cleared my throat. “There’s a hospital ribbon cutting this weekend and he invited me to come with him. He said he would have his plane here on Thursday night and I could come back Sunday night.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Seriously? You have to go, Serena.”
His words were just now sinking in. He wanted me to come out for the weekend. Just a weekend. That wasn’t too long. I’d only miss one day at the shelter and hospital. I could see Lochland, the palace, then come home.
No.
Logic said yes, but my heart was screaming. I couldn't just go there for a few days and leave. I couldn’t be with him and walk away. It hurt so much when I woke up and realized he’d left. Why would I put myself through that again?
Vanessa was waving her arms like a madwoman. “You can’t seriously be thinking this hard. It’s an obvious decision!”
I shook my head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
She sighed and fell against the wall. “You have got to be kidding me.”
I leaned against the counter. “I don’t think I can handle it.”
“What are you talking about? It’s two days. You can handle anything for forty-eight hours.”
I bit my lip and swallowed. “It’s not that. It’s the leaving part.”
Her eyes softened. “Oh.”
“I don’t know if I can go through that again.”
“Then don’t.”
I was surprised by her sudden change of heart. “Really? You agree I shouldn’t go?”
She laughed. “No. I don’t think you should come back.”
“What?”
“Serena, my beautiful, stupid sister. You need to realize you aren’t as important as you think you are.”
I didn't know how to react. First, she called me stupid then added another insult. “Wow. Thanks for that.”
I wanted to push her out of my bathroom and close the door but she straightened and gave me a serious look. “You aren’t the only person in the world that can help people. You have this enormous mantle hanging from your shoulders because you think you have to help everyone. There are other people that can step in your place.”
Why was everyone I knew reminding me of that? “I don’t think I’m the only person, but it’s what’s important to me. I want to help people. Why is everyone making that seem like a bad thing.”
“We’re not. I think we’re all trying to get you to see that you don’t have to be the one doing it all.”
“I don’t think that.”
She gave me a look that said she didn’t believe me. “Okay, good because there are plenty of people to pick up where you left off. Taking some time for yourself isn’t a crime. It doesn’t make you selfish either. You can do more for others when you’re taking care of yourself. I think you are just using the charities as an excuse to not get seriously close to someone for the first time in your life”
I knew she was right about most of that, but I couldn’t help but feel guilty about even pausing the work I’m doing, not just at the hospital and shelter, but my plans for other schools and orphanages, to chase a crush.
“I’ll think about it, okay?” That was the most I could promise at the moment. She nodded and left me alone.
I needed time to wrap my head around what Cian was offering. It seemed so innocent. How could I turn down a weekend with him? It was more than that though. I was risking falling even further. I could meet his family and they could hate me. Or worse, they could love me and I could see myself fitting in with them. That would make leaving a billion times harder. Because this was just a weekend visit and nothing else.
Of course, the conversation I had with David at the shelter had bothered me so much I’d done some research. I realized the royal family did more for those in need than I’d be able to do in ten lifetimes. Their reach was so much wider and they were able to accomplish things I could only dream of. Thinking about what I could do with them had brought tears to my eyes.
I’d realized how I’d underestimated them, and Cian. He wasn’t just a governing power. He was more of a philanthropist than me. And his sister, Isla, should be sainted. She dedicated herself to similar causes as my own, and she’d been able to raise so much awareness and money. They were all making a difference.
Maybe being with Cian didn’t mean the end of my dreams. It would just give me the ability to amplify them. I’d be able to do so much more. Not that those reasons were enough to base a relationship on. I didn’t want to use Cian for his resources, but it did open my eyes to possibilities. If Isla, an actual princess, could spend her time working with various foundations and charities, was it a stretch to think that I could too? It meant my life as I knew it wouldn’t completely disappear if Cian and I tried to make our relationship work.
But that was it. There was something between us, I knew that. That didn’t mean we were meant to be together. It certainly didn’t mean marriage.
I stared at my phone and chose to be brave. I couldn’t live the rest of my life wondering what would have happened if I’d accepted his offer. I’d go mad.
I had to do this. If only for the opportunity to tell him goodbye.
Before I could change my mind, I typed out my reply and sent it. I thanked him for his offer and accepted, as long as Vanessa could come with me. Not only would that buy me major points with her and basically put her forever in my debt, but it would also give me someone to tell me things would be okay. I wanted a sense of familiarity while I was there. I couldn’t imagine meeting his whole family on my own.
I set my phone back down and finished getting ready. His response came as I was walking out of the bathroom.
“Of course. I’ll see you on Saturday.” I reread the message aloud several times to make sure I wasn’t mistaken. He said yes. I was going to see him in just three days.
“Vanessa!” I screamed and waited for her to come back to my room.
“What?”
I looked up and smiled. “Pack your bags.”
Her eyebrows creased. “For what?”
“We’re going to Lochland.”
Her jaw dropped. “You and me?”
I nodded.
“Seriously?”
I nodded again.
“Serena, don’t mess with me.”
I laughed. “I’m not. I told him I’d only come if you could come with me and he said of course
you could.”
She squealed and ran over, wrapping her arms around me. We landed on my bed in a giggling thud.
David hurried into the room, appearing concerned. “What’s going on?”
Vanessa sat up. “We’re going to Lochland!”
He didn't look as surprised as I expected. “Oh really?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Yeah. Why are you so calm?”
He shrugged. “Just can’t say I’m surprised. I’ll go pack a bag.”
He walked out without asking any more questions, confirming my suspicion that he’d been talking to Cian.
“I guess we’re all going,” I said with a laugh.
Vanessa cheered then turned serious. “I have so much shopping to do!” She peered down at me and frowned. “So do you. Let’s go!”
“Hold on,” I replied to Cian thanking him and saying I would see him soon. I then pulled on shoes and hurried behind Vanessa. We had a few days to get things ready, but with a determined gleam in her eyes, she was a woman on a mission.
16
Cian
I couldn’t believe she said yes. Aiden’s advice worked better than I expected. I nearly stood up in the middle of a parliament debate about transportation funding when she replied. I forced myself to stay in my seat for the next forty minutes. The moment the session ended I rushed out and called Isla.
“Hey,” she said.
“Where are you?” I needed to talk to her as soon as possible. I needed her help to get things ready.
“In my office. Why? Is everything alright?” She sounded concerned. I didn't mean to scare her, and my behavior was quite contrary to normal.
“Yes, I’m on my way over.” I hurried to the second floor and let myself into her cream and gold decorated office.
“Cian, what’s going on?” She spun her chair to face me and slid her glasses off her face.
I sat across from her and leaned forward to rest my elbows on the desk. “She said yes.”
Isla smiled. “Who said yes to what?”
“Serena said yes to coming this weekend.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Really? You’re serious?”
I nodded. “She and her siblings will arrive Saturday morning.”
“The ceremony is at noon, so that should give them time to get here and freshen up before we have to leave.”
“Right. There’s something I didn’t tell her though.”
“What is it?”
“I asked her to stay through Sunday night, but that’s the night of Lady Flora’s gala. I want her to attend with me.”
“So why didn’t you just ask her to stay until Monday?”
I dropped my hands into my head. “I thought the weekend would sound safer to her. Plus, I didn't want the idea of a gala to scare her.”
I peeked up at Isla who shook her head. “You should have been honest with her, but now we’ll have to make it seem more spontaneous. I’m sure you can get David and her sister on your side.”
I nodded. I could definitely rely on them to be on board.
“But she’s coming.” Her voice got an octave higher. “That’s wonderful news.”
“It is. I’m not sure if something changed on her side, or Aiden’s advice was correct, but as long as it worked I don’t much care.”
“What do we need to do to prepare?”
“I haven’t thought that far. I didn’t think she’d say yes.”
Isla laughed. “Well then. We need to let Mum and Dad know. Oh, and the staff will need to prepare some rooms. Aiden and Charlie will help make them comfortable here, Charlie especially. They must have some time to talk so Charlie can relieve some fears.”
I watched as the wheels in her head sped up. This was why I wanted to talk to her first. She knew what to do in these situations.
“Let Lewis know there will be additional guests attending the ceremony at the hospital. Oh and he needs to let Lady Flora’s people know we will be bringing guests.” She paused. “Are you ready for this?”
“Of course. I’ve done nothing but pray for this since I got home.”
She smiled. “I mean introducing her to this world. She’ll have to meet Mum and Dad. Plus, if she arrives with you to the hospital you know there will be talk. It won’t take long for the press to find out who she is. You saw how quickly they picked up Charlie’s story, and it will be worse for Serena.”
I nodded. I had thought about the media’s feeding frenzy but was doing my best to ignore it. That wouldn’t make the reality of the situation go away. I could try to hide her from the press but I knew that would only raise suspicion and make things worse. I suppose having Vanessa and David there would help. It took the attention off just Serena. I could always introduce them as friends. But that wouldn’t appease everyone. People would dig. They’d probably be able to find out I’d stayed with them, maybe even that I’d visited the hospital and shelter with Serena. It would raise questions and I’d have to face them.
“I’ll do what I can to minimize it,” I said, “but you’re right. If I want them to attend with us it will draw attention.”
She smiled sadly. “We’ll do what we can to shield her but there’s only so much we can do.”
I’d have to ask David to help prepare her for that part of being in my life. He grew accustomed to the lack of privacy during our university days. The paparazzi knew we were friends and followed him thinking he’d lead them to me on several occasions. He was used to being in the tabloids not only from being my friend but for who he was. Their family name drew attention. Vanessa didn’t seem to mind, but Serena fought it.
The attention seemed like something that would make her run, and the only thing I could do was prepare her for it.
“You’re right, but I don’t want to focus too much on that. I want her to enjoy her visit and hopefully realize that she can have a life here, with me.”
It was rare for me to be this vulnerable, even with my siblings, but I needed someone else to understand what was going through my mind. There was so much on the line for this weekend. It was a make it or break it experience for me and Serena, and I desperately needed it to work. These days without her had been dreadful. I couldn’t go back to the time before I met her. She changed me. She made me realize I didn’t want to settle for a life of endless meetings and obligations. She made me want more.
Isla’s smile grew wider. “I promise, we’ll do everything we can to make that happen.”
Her words brought a bit of reassurance, but doubt still lingered. “Thank you.”
* * *
My foot bounced in the backseat, rocking the car gently. Isla reached over and placed her hand on my knee, stopping me, for the third time.
“Sorry,” I whispered, also for the third time. I watched the air above the tarmac for any sign of the plane. Sleep had eluded me for the past two nights as I thought about seeing Serena again, as well as everything that could go wrong.
Mum and Dad had been surprised when I shared that I had friends coming, specifically a woman I cared about. I hadn’t mentioned anything to them about her when I arrived home from the tour, so they had no idea. They knew I’d stayed with David, but I neglected to mention his sisters. Mum was excited to meet her, but Dad had his guard up. This would be the first woman I’d brought to meet them. I’d had friends come and stay over the years but I was rarely romantically interested in any of them. They’d quizzed me about her and I answered as many questions as I could, but nothing would relieve their worries until they met her themselves.
“It's going to be okay,” Isla reassured me with a smile. She was the only person I’d let come with me. Even Lewis had stayed behind at the palace. I didn’t want to bombard the Rothschilds with people the second they landed, but I also couldn’t imagine sitting here alone waiting for them. Isla was the distraction I needed from going crazy.
“Any updates?” I asked Isla.
She checked her phone and shook her head. “Nothing since they indicated the final descent
.”
I wanted to call the pilot myself for an update but knew that would not be well received. I scanned the sky again and frowned. “They’re late.”
She laughed. “By three minutes.”
“Kirk is normally early.”
She ignored my concern. “He’s a pilot, not a god. He can’t control if they hit bad weather or were delayed at the airport.”
We were already on a tight schedule and I didn’t want to rush them when we got back to get ready for the ceremony. I wanted the three of them to enjoy their time here as much as possible, so this minor inconvenience was putting a major dent in those plans.
She held up her phone with excitement in her eyes. “They landed.”
“What?” I sat up and searched the area for the plane but it was empty. “Where?”
Isla leaned forward and spoke to the driver. “Please go to the other runway. They were redirected.”
I scowled as we drove to the far end of the small airport. I was frustrated but no one in the vehicle had control over what their air traffic controllers did. I just had to hope they hadn’t exited the plane to find no one waiting for them.
“There it is.” Isla pointed to the sleek white plane. The door was still closed so I relaxed back into the seat. I was going to see her again. It seemed impossible that this was actually happening.
Part of me refused to believe it until I had my arms around her. I needed to touch her for this to be real.
The door opened and the stairs descended. I opened the car door and hurried out so I could greet them. Isla was right behind me and we waited a few feet away from the stairs as one of the flight attendants smiled and waved to us.
David stepped out first, appearing a bit fatigued.
“Ah a welcome party.” He gave me a short hug before turning to Isla. “You look as beautiful as ever, Isla.”
He kissed her cheek and I wondered for a moment if there was something there. No. They’d known each other for far too long. If anything was meant to happen, it already would have.
His Royal Regret: Royals of Lochland Book 2 Page 12