Lose You Not: (A Havenwood Falls Novel)

by Kristie Cook

  “Only in honor of Mom,” I lied. I secretly enjoyed the movies myself. “You probably don’t even know what they are, do you?

  “I’m assuming not National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation?”

  “Uh, no. These are even dorkier, but in a different way. They’re all about these single people, one is often a widow or widower with a kid, and/or their business is failing, or they have to prove themselves worthy of the family business . . . Anyway, they pretty much have the same plot and even a lot of the same actors in all of them. And they always have a happily-ever-after ending, either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.” I sighed. “Mom was such a romantic. She and Mammie both.”

  “Perfect. Maybe she’ll appreciate this then, even if it is me doing it.” Xandru removed my legs from his lap and set my feet on the floor, then scooted off the sofa to kneel in front of me. He stuffed one hand in his front pants pocket and cupped my face with the other.

  I tilted my head to lean into his hand. “What are you doing?”

  “Michaela Petran,” he started, his voice thick. He cleared his throat. “Michaela . . . I thought I lost you once, but you returned. I can never lose you again. You are mine, and I am yours.”

  Oh. My. God. Was Xandru proposing?

  A sound came from the distance, and somewhere in the back of my mind, a small voice told me to pay attention to it, but the rest of me was entirely locked on to the man in front of me. We’d talked about marriage for years when we were younger, but hadn’t really discussed it at all since I’d been back. After we made our big turning point back in August, I admittedly thought he would have asked by now. And here he was, on his knees, extracting something from his pocket.

  He held out a small velvet box in his hand. “I want to make this official and final. Michaela—”

  A scream cut him off, followed by Mammie soaring into the room. “Michaela, it’s Gabe! It’s bad!”

  Xandru and I jumped to our feet and rushed to the rear lawn of the inn, forgetting to hide our speed from guests’ eyes. Aurelia and Gabe were both on the ground in the snow, Aurelia sitting and crying, blood leaking from a small cut above her eyebrow, and Gabe on his back, convulsing. I fell to my knees by his side and tried to hold him so he wouldn’t hurt himself. His fangs were out, red veins webbed across his face, and his eyes were rolled back, so only the whites showed.

  “What happened?” I demanded as Xandru held a small snow-pack to Aurelia’s wound.

  “I fell and hit my head on a planter under the snow. I was trying to get inside, but Gabe . . .” She trailed off.

  “Gabe what?”

  Aurelia shuddered. “It was like we were back in the car when we wrecked. He attacked me. I think . . . I think he wanted my blood.”

  Xandru and I exchanged a look as Gabe’s body stopped seizing beneath me.

  “Take her inside,” I said to Xandru. “Aurelia, stay in one of the vacant rooms. Let Mammie know.”

  I picked Gabe up and carried him to the cottage. He stirred some, but remained unconscious as I lay him on the bed and removed his coat and boots. Once I tucked him under the covers, I hurried to the kitchen and grabbed a couple of bottles of blood. He was only semi-conscious when I returned, but at least able to drink. After finishing one bottle, he passed out.

  I paced his room all night long, waiting for him to wake, but it wasn’t until the following afternoon that he finally did. Sort of. He was incoherent, thrashing about and growling, and his fangs protruding as the veins popped again. I fed him more blood, he passed out again, and we repeated this a few times throughout the following day. His coloring grew porcelain white, except for the dark purple circles around his eyes. His skin stretched taut over the edges of his cheekbones and jaw, making it appear as though his eyeballs were sinking into his head. Neither blood nor regular food helped.

  I called Dr. Jasper Underwood, a fae with supernatural healing abilities, and he made a house call, but couldn’t figure out what was wrong. There was a young shifter in a coma at the hospital, one of the Blaekthorns, but Dr. Underwood was certain the cases were unrelated. Completely different energies, he’d said.

  None of the other special healers in town could figure out Gabe’s illness, either. For three days, supes of all kinds traipsed into my cottage, trying to solve the mystery. Saundra Beaumont didn’t understand it, not able to identify any form of witch magic. Eloise confirmed a dark energy, but it blocked her from reading anything more. They all believed it was magic of a dark sort, although none used the word “curse.”

  Still, I recalled Addie’s claims about Roman Bishop.

  “What did you do to my brother?” I asked him after his housekeeper finally let me in and led me to the front room of his estate in Havenwood Heights. On the outside, it had a similar gothic castle look to ours. I’d never been inside before, but I barely paid any attention to the interior except to note it was designed with elegance and luxury—I was solely interested in the man’s answers.

  Roman lifted a highball glass toward me. “Drink?”

  “What. Did. You. Do?” I ground out.

  I hadn’t wanted to confront him alone, but I needed Sindi to stay at the inn, and I couldn’t get a hold of Addie or Xandru. Addie once said that one of the few things that could take a witch down was a pissed-off vampire. So on the way over, I reminded myself that I was a badass vampire and mustered all of my anger into a hot ball of rage burning within me. If things went sideways, I’d have to move faster than Roman could shoot off a spell, and break his neck. If he truly was behind my brother’s illness, I’d have no problem doing it.

  Roman lowered the glass in his hand. “You do know, Ms. Petran, that it is quite rude to come barging into a person’s home, especially at such an hour, and immediately start making accusations?”

  “I’m all out of patience as well as fucks. Something is wrong with Gabe. I think he’s dying. And I’m pretty sure you have something to do with it.”

  “He may be.”

  “Tell me what the hell you did! Why?”

  Roman took a slow sip of his drink, watching me over the rim of his glass, before he spoke to me as though I were an ignorant child. “Did you ever find the Eye of Valerian?”

  I tilted my head. “Is that what you want? Is that why you’re doing this?”

  His dark eyes narrowed. “I’d be careful if I were you, throwing accusations around. Especially when they are directed at someone like me. Regardless of who your family is.” He lifted his index finger from his glass and pointed at me. “Find the Eye of Valerian and your problem is solved. You do know one of its powers, don’t you? That it creates bloodlust in an untriggered moroi? That it provokes a mature moroi to kill and become strigoi?”

  “What? Wouldn’t that be dark magic?”

  A sigh of boredom escaped him. “I didn’t expect you to be so ignorant. What do you think drove Gabe to attack you and trigger his own gene?”

  “No.” I shook my head in disbelief. “He said he didn’t find it.”

  “By the state of his current condition, I’d say that he lied to you, Ms. Petran. Find the artifact,” he snarled. “And return it to its cage.”

  “Cage? What cage?” I asked, bewildered. I didn’t care that he was losing patience with me. I needed answers. I needed to save my brother.

  “A piece like that needs protection. Now I’m done answering your questions.” He flicked his hand, and the doors banged open.

  “Wait. If I find it, if I bring it to you, will it fix Gabe?”

  He rolled his eyes. “The cause of a curse is often also the cure.”

  “So that’s a yes. Can’t you do some kind of locator spell?”

  “It’s been done. Goodbye, Ms. Petran.” He ushered me toward the door.

  “But why don’t you just go get it?” I persisted as we moved.

  “It is not me who is interested in obtaining it.”

  Like I believed that. But whatever. If it could cure Gabe, I needed to find it. “Then at least tell me wh
ere it is.”

  He stopped at the door, one side of his mouth curling up in a smirk. “Why don’t you ask your boyfriend?”

  Chapter 18

  Xandru

  When Tase and Alina finally walked through the front door of our family home three days before New Year’s, I took one look at them and flew at my brother, my fist pulled back. He was faster, though.

  And much stronger.

  Tase’s fist slammed into my stomach, making me double over and soar backwards into the railing surrounding the sunken living room. He’d gained more strength, which wasn’t a good sign of what he’d been up to for the past few weeks since I’d last seen him. But that wasn’t what pissed me off the most. I straightened, one arm across my stomach, the other jabbing a finger at him.

  “We agreed, you fucker!” I spat. “We weren’t going to turn Alina until we knew the curse couldn’t affect her.”

  He shrugged and rolled his eyes. “We were running out of time.”

  “We had nearly a year!”

  Alina stepped between us and glared at me with gray-green eyes—eyes that had been brown the last time I’d seen her. “It wasn’t his fault.”

  “Alina,” Tase warned.

  “What?” She threw her hands in the air. “I’m sick of him blaming you for everything.”

  “So who did it?” I demanded.

  “I did. I was tired of waiting on your controlling ass, so I cut him while he was sleeping and drank his blood.” She lifted her chin, but a flicker of fear in her eyes and a faint scent coming off her skin told me she was lying.

  It took me nearly a full minute to realize the truth.

  “God damn it, TASE!” I roared. “You didn’t fucking sell it, did you?”

  I lunged at him again. My resolve to beat the living shit out of him made me more of a competitor. We threw punches, ducking some and taking others, until I dove at Tase’s legs and took both of us down, where we grappled on the floor. At some point, we rolled down the stairs to the basement, fists still flying.

  “Settle the fuck down and let me explain,” Tase said, once he was able to pin me in a chokehold.

  I stilled, and he let go. We both jumped to our feet, facing each other.

  “How many?” I demanded.

  “How many what?”

  “How many humans have you killed?”

  He growled. “None.”

  “You did not gain that much strength on animal blood.”

  “I didn’t say I didn’t drink human blood. But I didn’t kill any. Thanks to Alina. It’s probably a good thing she did turn.”

  “You have no idea how wrong you are.” I swiped at one of Mom’s old ugly vases, sending it flying and crashing into the wall. “You still have the fucking Eye of Valerian, don’t you?”

  Tase didn’t answer, only peered at me as though deciding what lie to tell me.

  “Don’t fucking lie. I know you still have it, because it did to Alina the same thing it did to Gabe. Am I right?”

  Tase lifted his chin and smirked. “As a matter of fact, no, brother, you’re not. That was entirely her doing.”

  “Truth,” Alina called down the stairs. “All my doing. We had our own little ceremony without you losers.”

  I glared at Tase. “So you weren’t asleep? You really did turn her?”

  He shrugged. “A little lie.”

  “God damn it.” I dropped my hands on my hips, shaking my head at the floor. I looked back up at him. “So did you sell the artifact?”

  He grimaced. “Well . . .”

  “Shit! What else have you lied to me about or gone behind my back and done?”

  “Do you really want to know?” He smirked again. “It’s powerful as fuck, Xan. More than I realized.”

  I clenched my fists, suppressing the urge to swing again. “Exactly why you were supposed to get rid of it!”

  “No. It belongs with us. With the moroi. Xandru, it can break my curse.”

  I rocked back and glared at him. “How do you know?”

  He shrugged. “I feel it.”

  “You feel it? You’re risking everyone’s lives based on that?”

  “It’s the artifact of our people, bro. I asked the current Order of Castor to research it. It goes back to the original moroi and contains the very magic that created our kind. You’ve been around Addie and other witches enough to know what that means.”

  I rubbed my clenched jaw. “It means it can both cause and counter what harms us.”

  “Exactly. And since strigoi is part of being moroi, it can counter the strigoi curse.”

  “How?”

  He tilted his head from side to side as he made a face. “I haven’t figured that part out yet.”

  Closing my eyes, I shook my head in disbelief. “Have you asked Addie for help?”

  “Hell no! Nobody can know I have it, especially anyone tied to the Court.”

  “And what about the witch you were supposed to sell it to? What about everyone’s lives you were so worried about?”

  He waved his hand with indifference . . . arrogance even. “I’ll take care of her.”

  “Tase.”

  “Its power is only meant for us! Not for her, and especially not for the Court. They’ll want to use it against us. All of us. Including your precious Petrans.”

  “Hey, guys,” Alina called down, “speaking of the actual devil . . . Michaela’s coming up the front walk.”

  “Fuck,” Tase and I muttered at the same time.

  “She can’t know,” he said. “At least let me figure out how it can help me first. Give me that. If not for me, for my son.”

  “Damn it, Tase.” I groaned, not knowing what pissed me off more—that he’d already used his son as leverage with me or that he was putting me in this position. “You want me to lie based on a fucking feeling!”

  “It makes sense, though, right? You know it does.”

  The doorbell rang, followed by angry pounding.

  “Get rid of her,” Tase told Alina, and I didn’t argue.

  Alina smirked. “Gladly.”

  Knowing she was being lied to, Michaela wouldn’t go easily. I heard her reaction to seeing Alina, followed by arguing, and then a scuffle.

  “Stay here,” I ordered Tase before I flew up the stairs. One family fight was enough for one hour.

  Michaela saw me and jabbed a finger at Alina. “You fucking liar.” She turned fiery eyes on me. “And you. What haven’t you been telling me?”

  Michaela advanced on me, so I wrapped her hand in mine and took her up to my room so we could have some semblance of privacy. I closed the door behind us, and we turned to face each other.

  “What’s going on?” I kept my voice low enough so only her vampire ears could hear, reaching for a stray lock of hair hanging in her face.

  She swatted my hand away before crossing her arms. She was pissed. Off.

  “Where’s the Eye of Valerian?” she seethed.

  Oh, shit. I swallowed. “No idea what you’re talking about,” I said after hesitating a second too long.

  She shoved her hands against my chest, making me stumble back into the door. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Roca! Roman did a locator spell and says you do know.”

  Ah, fuck.

  I held my hands up in surrender. “I really don’t. But Tase does.”

  Her expression changed to one of shock, and she gasped as though I’d just hit her. The way she looked at me broke me—betrayal, anger . . . pain. Pain I caused. Based on her reaction, she must have believed Roman was the liar. She’d put all of her hope and faith into me.

  And I’d just let her down.

  “Come sit and let me explain.” Taking her hand, I led her to the bed. She did as I said, probably still in shock. I gently sat her down and told her the little bit I could.

  Her face crumpled and then morphed. The previous look of betrayal was nothing compared to how she looked at me now.

  “Gabe did find it?”

  I nodded. “He hand
ed it over to Tase, though.”

  “And this has been going on for . . . for months?” she asked.

  “Before Gabe turned. It’s what set him off in the first place.” I’d already told her this, but it didn’t seem to be sinking in.

  “You knew about this all this time and didn’t tell me?”

  “No, not really. What I did know—they weren’t my secrets to tell, Kales. I was just talking to Tase—”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Just now? You mean when you didn’t want to see me?”

  I cringed.

  She jumped off the bed, shouting, “You had Alina try to send me away, because you still weren’t going to tell me, were you?”

  “Michaela—”

  “Were you?” she shrieked. “Were you ever going to tell me everything? Anything?”

  “When I could . . . what I was able to—”

  “Fuck you, Alexandru Roca. FUCK. YOU!” she yelled.

  I reached out for her, but she pushed me away again. In a blink, she was at the bedroom door.

  “This is over,” she said flatly, her back to me. “You and me—we’re done.”

  “Kales?” I didn’t know what else to say. Now I was the one in shock.

  She shook her head slowly as she scoffed. “And to think I thought you were proposing the other day and I was going to accept!”

  My heart stuttered and dropped at her words. “Kales, please, just let me—”

  She twisted around. “No! I’ve let you do enough. You say we’re all family, but those are just words. When it comes down to it, you will always pick your own blood. Even if it means lying to me and keeping secrets. I can’t live like that. Especially this time, Roca, because all of your fucked-up choices are going to kill my brother.”

  She threw the door open and stomped out into the hall and toward the stairs.

  I hurried after her. “What do you mean?”

  She spun on me. “That thing . . . that Eye of Valerian . . . as long as it’s out of its cage or unprotected or whatever, Gabe will only worsen. But as always, in your fucking world, Tase comes first.”

  She flew down the stairs.

  “It’s not like that.” I rushed after her. “There’s stuff you don’t know.”