by Emma Easter
“Stop it!” Lily glared at her friend.
Sofia raised her hand. “Okay, then, fine! Even if he doesn’t want anything from you right now, I can assure you that he likes you a lot.” She touched Lily’s hand. “And I think you like him, too.”
Lily looked away. “Of course I like him. He’s a childhood friend.”
“No more than that?” Sofia turned her face around again. “You’re attracted to him as well. I know desire when I see it, and my friend, I can see it in your eyes. I saw it when you were speaking to him, and I see it right now as well.”
Lily shut her eyes and moaned. “It’s wrong! He’s married.” She sighed. “Well… thank God he’s going back to California tomorrow.”
“He’s going back tomorrow?” Sofia shook her head. “That’s not right. Listen, Lily. You should do something about the way you feel about him. Don’t fight it.”
Lily narrowed her eyes and glared at Sofia. “What are you saying? You want me to start an affair with him the way you have with George?” She shifted away from Sofia. “That’s a sin in God’s eyes. I’m never doing that.”
“Where does he live… or at least, where’s he staying now?” Sofia asked.
“At a hotel,” Lily waved her hand dismissively, but her heart began to pound.
“And he doesn’t live in Tucson?”
“No,” Lily answered weakly.
“So, his wife isn’t in town?”
Lily didn’t answer. She already knew where Sofia was going with all this, and she felt disgusted. Not just with Sofia, but with herself. Sofia’s line of questioning was stirring up a deep longing in her and conjuring images in her mind she did not want to think about.
“You want to be with him, Lily, don’t you? You know you do. Just go to him right now and get whatever it is you feel on the inside out of your system. Maybe you’ll forget about him after it’s over, or maybe you won’t. But at least you’ll...”
Lily sprang up from the sofa and looked down at Sofia. “Stop it!” she yelled. “I will never sleep with a married man! It was why I was driven out of Fallow Creek. I was glad when I didn’t have to marry a married man, even though I knew I would be separated from my family. I’m not going to start doing that now. And if you keep pushing me in that direction, our friendship will be over!”
“Okay, okay!” Sofia raised her hand again. “But what are you going to do about your feelings for that guy?”
“What am I going to do?”
“Yes. Because those feelings won’t disappear just ‘cause you want them to. Trust me, I know.” She looked up at Lily, and their eyes met. “I think you might even be in love with him. So, what are you going to do?”
“I’m not in love with him, Sofia! Stop saying things like that. Just as I said, he’s leaving for California tomorrow. Once he does, that will hopefully be the end of it.”
Sofia laughed and stood up from the sofa. “You just keep lying to yourself, Lily. You’re living in an apartment the guy paid for, sitting on the furniture he bought you, and you like him. It won’t be long before you become just like me.”
“Never! I will never be like you, Sofia.”
Sofia snorted and walked to the door. She turned around and said, “You already are like me, Lily. You’ve been acting all self-righteous, and yet you’re in love with a married man. The irony.” She chuckled. “The earlier you admit the truth to yourself, the better.” She stared at Lily for a moment more and then opened the door and walked out of the apartment.
Lily sank onto the sofa once more, dread, guilt and shame flooding her heart. Sofia was right about everything — except for one thing. In spite of how she felt, she would never give in to her desires. But that didn’t make her feel any better about the fact that Taylor would be gone in a couple of hours. She covered her face with her hands and wept.
Chapter 10
Taylor paused the football game he was watching and stretched out his legs on the bed. He picked up his cell phone and dialed Rachel’s number. He had received numerous text messages from her over the past few days and a couple of phone calls as well. She’d been calling and texting for months, but he hadn’t been ready to answer any of her calls or messages until now.
He still wasn’t interested in hearing anything she had to say about what was going on in Fallow Creek, but he missed her. As kids, they had been very close but had grown apart as adults. After years of barely speaking to each other, they had renewed their relationship last year and become close again. He did not want to spoil their relationship because of his grief and stubbornness. He wanted to hear her voice again, and he also wanted her advice regarding his feelings for Lily. And not just his feelings for her, but his concerns about leaving her without a job. The more he thought about it, the more it bothered him.
He’d ordered room service after he’d come back from his final meeting with his client and had eaten thinking about Lily, wishing he could see her again. He leaned back on his pillow and waited for Rachel to pick up his call. When he heard her voice on the other end of the line, his mood immediately lifted.
“Taylor, I’ve been so worried about you!” Rachel exclaimed. “Why have you not been answering my calls or any of my text messages?”
“I’m so sorry, Rachel,” he said. “A lot has happened since the last time I saw you.”
“A lot has happened here in Fallow Creek as well,” she said. “Did you get any of my text messages? Don’t you want to know everything that’s happened?”
“Rachel, to be honest with you, I really don’t care about anything that’s going on in Fallow Creek right now.” He wanted to tell her he could guess what she had to say about the things that had happened there, and that it wasn’t really that important to him, but he held his peace. “I don’t want to hear about what’s going on in that community. I left there for a reason. I would rather you didn’t tell me anything about it.”
“Taylor, what’s wrong? Why are you talking like this? I’m pretty sure you would want to know what’s happened in the town you grew up in. It’s huge, Taylor. Really huge. I needed your advice about some things, but it’s all been resolved now. Thank God.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that.”
“Taylor, what happened?” Rachel asked. “Why did you suddenly leave Fallow Creek with Faye and Joshua?”
He took a deep breath to try to steady his voice as fresh waves of sorrow poured over him. He recalled again the day Faye had lost her life giving birth to their baby girl. It was not something he wanted to recount, but he had to. Rachel had a right to know all that had happened. He said slowly, “I lost Faye, Rachel. She died ten months ago while giving birth to our daughter.”
“No, Taylor! Tell me it’s not true!”
“Unfortunately, it is. I miss her so much.”
“I’m so sorry, Taylor,” Rachel said, her voice laden with emotions. “If only I’d known. Where are you and Josh now? And what about the baby?”
“We all live in Northern California now,” he told her. “And the baby’s doing really well.” He chuckled. “Her name is Bree, short for Brielle, and she’s a handful, but I love her with all my heart.”
“Well, thank God that the baby survived. Again, Taylor, I’m really sorry. Faye was such a kind person. But why didn’t you tell me when she passed? Why did you have to leave town?”
“I just couldn’t bear staying in Fallow Creek for one more minute after she died. I blamed the midwives and many other people there who advised me not to take her to a bigger hospital out of the community. If I had, she might still be alive today. I blamed myself. I still do. Going back to Fallow Creek would remind me of her and how that town claimed her life. I just can’t bring myself to go back there again.”
“I understand now,” Rachel said. “Know that I will be praying for you and Josh and the baby.”
“Thank you,” Taylor said.
“I wish I could come over there and see you, Taylor, but a lot has been going on here and me and Keith have
so many responsibilities right now. I won’t be able to get away.”
Taylor sighed. As much as he didn’t want or need any additional information about what was going on in Fallow Creek, it sounded as though Rachel had a lot more to tell him. He took a deep breath again and said, “Okay, Rachel. Tell me everything. What’s going on in that community that I need to know?”
“It started some days before you left, I believe. I told you how Dennis Hamilton allowed Keith and me back into Fallow Creek because Keith gave him a prophetic word. But I didn’t tell you exactly what that word was.” She began to narrate the most amazing and distressing story he’d heard in a long time. He had thought he knew most of what she wanted to say, but he didn’t know anything. Except for a very small part that he doubted she knew about.
He listened, his anger growing as she told him about finding out who Fallow Creek’s real owner was. When she told him she was the true owner of Fallow Creek, as the land had been given to her by her real father and grandfather, he could not hold in his amazement.
“I can’t believe this!” he said.
“I felt the same way when I heard,” she said and continued her story. She talked about how Dennis and his men had kidnapped her and Keith and about the miraculous intervention.
He listened intently as she spoke. He was happy for her, but angry because he’d been lied to. He would have to deal with the liar later. For now, he focused on her news, fully pleased for her, but concerned about the difficulties she would face and was probably facing now.
“So, Dennis is dead?”
“Yes. He and our stepfather and those men that were with him.”
Taylor frowned. He had never been close to his stepfather — in fact, they’d had a stormy relationship — but he certainly hadn’t wished for the man’s death.
She went on with her story, telling him how people had started to leave town when they’d found out she was the true owner of Fallow Creek. He was not surprised about that. The men of that town would not take it well once they found out a woman, and especially one who did not believe in their patriarchal way of life, was now the leader of the town. He had been like that himself months ago, but not anymore.
She finally told him with triumph and joy about getting her daughter, Emily, away from her ex. He was elated for her, but one thing worried him… no, two, but she didn’t need to know about the second thing now. He voiced his concern. “Are you telling me that Mike Cadwell is sort of a prisoner at the Restoration House?”
“We don’t know what to do with him yet. If we let him go, he’ll cause a lot of trouble for us. I’m trying to speak to him every day to try to convince him to give up his vindictive ways.”
“And what about his guards?” Taylor asked. “Haven’t they noticed that he’s not around?”
“No, Olivia told them Mike is taking a long break in the House and instructed her to tell them he didn’t want to be disturbed at all.”
“Okay, because I was afraid his guards would come looking for him at the House one day.”
“They have no idea he’s here,” Rachel said.
“You should involve the police in Prospect, Rachel. You can’t keep holding Mike at the Restoration House. I think it’s the only thing to do.”
“But they won’t be able to hold him there as we have nothing for which they can charge him. And in spite of Mike’s cruelty, I don’t want him arrested. He is Emily’s father.”
“It’s what he deserves, Rachel.”
She said nothing for a long while. When she did speak, her voice was soft as she asked how he was managing the kids without Faye. “Maybe you should come back to Fallow Creek. Keith and I, and a host of other women in the House, will help you watch the kids, especially when you go to work or on a business trip.”
“I can’t come back, Rachel. At least not now.”
“Okay, I understand,” she said. “But I know your job can get hectic sometimes. I guess you have a nanny for your children?”
He sighed loudly. “That brings me to the question I want to ask you, Rachel. I saw Lily Hunter at the store some days ago. I actually gave her your number. Has she called you?”
“No, she hasn’t. I got a call from a strange number a few days ago, but I didn’t answer because I don’t answer strange numbers these days. Maybe it was her.”
“Yes, I think it was her. Anyway, I came to Tucson for a business meeting with some clients and went for a walk. I wanted to buy one of our favorite snacks growing up because I saw it in a particular store the day I arrived. That was where I saw Lily. I found out that she didn’t have a job or any money. She was in dire financial straits, and I tried to get her a job, but that didn’t turn out right at all.”
He told Rachel what had happened with James Kilpatrick and then told her how he had offered Lily a job. “She refused to take the job, which was to come with me to California to be a nanny to my kids. I told her I would pay her well, but that didn’t change her mind.” He said softly, “But I understand why.”
“Why? Why would she reject the job you offered her?”
He paused for a bit and then said, “Because she’s afraid. Frankly, so am I.”
Rachel sounded confused. “What are you talking about? Afraid of what?”
“Afraid of the intense desire we feel for each other.” He began to tell Rachel everything, starting from how he and Lily had spent that first day at the store to the phone call he’d made to her some hours ago. He told Rachel about his dilemma; about the promise he’d made to Josh and the vow he’d made to honor Faye’s memory. After he had told Rachel everything, he said, “I don’t know what to do now. I feel terrible about leaving Lily here without a job. Every time I think about not seeing her again, I feel like I can’t breathe.” He sighed. “And yet I know that it has to happen. I have to go back to California and forget about her.”
“So, you didn’t tell her that you’re unmarried now?” Rachel asked.
“No.”
“Do you understand how she’ll be feeling right now? The guilt and shame that she’ll be dealing with because she’s fallen for you? I remember her telling me how she abhorred the polygamous practices in Fallow Creek. She’ll feel terrible about falling for a married man.”
Taylor gritted his teeth. He’d never thought about it that way before.
“You should tell her, even if you don’t want to get involved with her. You should let her know the truth.”
“But where will telling her the truth lead? Faye died less than a year ago. There’s no way I’m getting involved with another woman now. Or in the near future, for that matter. I don’t think I’ll ever give my heart to anyone again.”
“And yet it seems you have given it to Lily.”
“I didn’t exactly give it to her. It’s more like she took it. Unwillingly, though, from all she said to me.” He shook his head, more confused than ever. “I just don’t know. All I know is that I don’t want to leave her with no job or money. But I have no choice.”
“Taylor, stop worrying about Lily. I know you’re a kind man and you care about people, but Lily’s a big girl. She’ll be fine without you. You did a great thing by giving her an apartment. God will provide her a job.”
Taylor heaved a sigh. “I know, but He can provide for her through me.”
Rachel chuckled again. “I think you should tell her the truth and then let her know that right now you can’t be in a relationship because of Faye. She’ll understand. Just give it time. Go back to California and try to forget her.”
“What?”
“You need some distance from her to know exactly how you feel. If you do forget about her, then what you’re feeling for her now is not real. But if you can’t, then you know a relationship with her is worth exploring.”
“I’m afraid if I go to her apartment to speak to her, we’ll do something that we might regret later.”
Rachel chuckled. “Trust me, I understand. I had a similar thing with Keith. You don’t have to tell her in
person. You can tell her over the phone.”
The thought of not seeing Lily every day as he’d done for almost a week now felt awful. He said, “How long should I stay away?”
“As long as it takes,” she answered. “I would say at least six months to a year.”
He gasped. “What if she finds someone else within that time?”
“Then it’s either she is not for you or the relationship will be temporary and you’ll find your way to each other.”
“It won’t be easy leaving Lily in Tucson. I think about her almost every waking moment. I don’t understand how I’ve fallen so hard for her in just a few days.”
Rachel laughed. “I don’t know about just a few days, Taylor. I remember that you were very fond of her when we were kids. You liked her more than all the other girls who were always chasing after you.”
In spite of himself, he chuckled.
“You felt something special for Lily, then, I remember. And I know for sure that she had a giant crush on you. I don’t think either of you have forgotten about that, and even though, for a time, the feelings were suppressed, they have bloomed again now that you’re together as adults.”
“And yet I have to go back to California and try to forget her.”
“Yes. You feel so strongly about keeping the vow you made to honor Faye’s memory by staying single that you’ve actively been keeping the truth about her death from Lily. But you have to tell her.”
His sighed. “Okay. I will.”
“Good. Does she know how hard you’ve fallen for her?”
He groaned. “I think she does. I probably didn’t do a very good job of hiding my feelings from her yesterday. We were supposed to go to the apartment I got for her together, but I decided not to. I didn’t think it was safe for us to be alone together in an apartment.”
Rachel burst out laughing.
“It’s not funny, Rachel. It’s excruciating.”
“I’m sorry,” Rachel said, still laughing. “I want you to be happy, and I think you will be with Lily. But since you don’t want to surrender your heart to her because you feel it’s too soon, you definitely shouldn’t get involved with her now. You’ve already planned to take time off work to spend with your kids. Do that and mourn Faye some more. After that, you can start a new life with someone else if that is what you truly want.”