by Emma Easter
“Thank you, Rachel,” he smiled. “I’m glad I called you.”
They talked some more about Fallow Creek, about Rachel’s unique dilemma and the new idea she had to help the women still living there. When the call finally ended, he thought about everything Rachel had said to him about Lily. His heart flooded with worry once more. After tomorrow, he wouldn’t see her again, and he would have to leave her knowing she had no money. He was a fixer. He liked to fix things. That was probably why he’d chosen construction as his occupation. He had gotten her that apartment, but it just wasn’t enough. Yes, he had stocked the fridge with food, but it would only last so long.
Stop worrying, Taylor. Remember what Rachel said. God will take care of Lily.
She was an adult. She had survived without him for all these months. She would survive without him when he was gone. He couldn’t continue to treat her like a charity case anyway, or she might come to resent him.
He put his hand on his forehead and shook his head. Rachel had told him to tell Lily that Faye had died and he was single now. After that, he was supposed to leave town and try to put her at the back of his mind. He was supposed to go on with his life as though he had not spent five heart-wrenching days falling hard for her.
That would be hard. That would be very hard.
A scripture verse appeared in his mind. Lie not to one another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds.
He shut his eyes, imagining how she would feel when he told her. Rachel was right. She deserved to know. It had been totally wrong to keep the truth from her. Maybe she would hate him once he told her about Faye. After all, he had knowingly withheld the truth from her, putting her through a lot of emotional pain. He had to tell her now. The sooner, the better.
He picked up his cell phone from beside him and began to dial her number. He stopped for a moment and sighed. Once he told her the truth, two different things could happen. She would either hate his guts for knowingly keeping the truth from her and causing her hurt, or they would both give in to the desires that had been tearing at them for days. Dread flooded him. “Lord, please don’t let her hate me for keeping the truth from her. And please help us to stay away from each other until I leave tomorrow.”
He continued to dial her number and then held his breath as the phone rang. Lord, please let it go well… at least as well as it can go considering the situation.
But he knew that no matter how it went, he would leave Tucson tomorrow with an aching heart.
Chapter 11
Lily sat beside Sofia on the plush snow-white couch, sipping the mocktail Sofia had brought from her apartment and listening to her friend talk about her future travel plans to north and east Africa. From time to time, she gazed out the window of her new apartment. The view outside was even more amazing now that it was evening.
Sofia had invited herself back to Lily’s apartment this evening in spite of their argument earlier in the day. Without apologizing, she had sat on the couch and started talking to Lily. At first, Lily had ignored her, but gradually, she’d listened with fascination as her friend regaled her with one story after another.
They had both fallen into their usual routine once more. Sofia was doing all the talking while Lily listened intently. Sofia’s stories, especially the ones about her trips abroad, were always so interesting. Lily was hungry to see the world after being trapped all her life in the tiny Fallow Creek. It was what she wanted most next to finding her family and maybe being with the man she’d fallen for.
She groaned as Taylor’s face filled her mind and all the feelings she had for him poured over her.
“What is it, Lily?” Sofia asked.
“Nothing.”
Instinctively, she turned and stared at her phone on the coffee table. Taylor was supposed to go back tomorrow, and she had been terribly worried about that. Worried about not seeing him again. That was probably why she had let Sofia back into her apartment. Sofia’s many interesting stories would sufficiently distract her. At least she had thought so. But now Taylor’s face was etched in her mind, and she couldn’t stop thinking about him. If only he would call so she could hear his voice for the last time. If only she could see him again… but she knew going to his hotel to see him would be asking for trouble.
She jumped when her phone began to ring. When she picked it up, she gasped. It was Taylor. Her heart began to gallop and she swallowed. Calm down, Lily!
“Who is it?” Sofia asked. “Your married friend?”
Lily ignored her. She tried to sound as normal as she could and said, “Hey, Taylor! How are you?”
“Umm... I’m good.”
She frowned. He sounded scared. Why?
“Lily… you know I’ll be going back tomorrow,” he said. “I just wanted to check up on you one last time.”
The ache in her heart increased, and an overwhelming longing to see him again, to be with him, washed over her. She forced a smile into her voice and tried to smother the longing. “Great,” she said. “I’m glad you called to check up on me. And thank you for everything. Especially the apartment. It’s beautiful.”
“I can’t wait to go back to California and see my kids again.”
“Oh… you have two kids now. Is the second one a boy or a girl?”
“A girl. A beautiful girl.” He sighed loudly. “Every time I’m away, I miss them so much, and I worry constantly about them.”
“I understand, Taylor,” she said, and then silently chided herself. How could she possibly understand when she had no kids? She quickly added, “I know you’re a great father. If I had kids and had to leave them constantly for work, I would miss them too. But you’re lucky you have Faye. I don’t know her well, but I’ve seen her once with your son. I think she’s a great mom. Since your kids are with her, they’re in good hands. You shouldn’t worry so much.”
He said nothing for a long moment, and she began to worry that he wasn’t on the line anymore. “Taylor, are you still there?”
“I have something to tell you, Lily. I haven’t been totally honest with you. I should have told you the first day we met at the store.”
She bit her lip, fear gripping her. What was he about to tell her?
“Faye died ten months ago, after giving birth to our daughter. It’s just me and the kids now.”
The floor beneath her felt like it was collapsing. She closed her eyes as a wave of weakness went through her. Sadness overtook her as her heart hurt for him. She finally found her voice and said, “I’m so very sorry, Taylor.”
She suddenly felt horrified. She had not even asked how Faye was doing. She remembered the times over the past few days when she had brought up his marriage and his wife with him. She had just assumed the woman was alive and well when she had died months ago. She felt like a cad. “I’m really sorry,” she said again. “I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “And I’m sorry for keeping it from you. I just didn’t want to talk about it, and the pain is still somewhat fresh.”
“I understand, Taylor.”
“And Lily, you spoke about Sarah on the day we met at the store. I didn’t marry her. I’m single now.”
He sounded so sad and so lost. An irresistible urge to rush to his side and try to comfort him came over her, but she managed to smother it. She pressed her lips together, trying to fully process all he’d revealed to her. If he wasn’t married and was available, then she could go to him. She gasped.
Go, Lily! He’s not married, and you know that now. There’s nothing stopping you from going to comfort him. He needs you.
She bit her lip and forced herself to remain seated. No good would come from going to him, and he didn’t need her. He had the Lord. She knew exactly what would happen if she gave in to the way she felt now. They would both end up doing something they would regret later. Just because she now knew he wasn’t married didn’t mean she had to throw caution to the wind and give in to her raging desire. “I’m sorry,” she said again, not k
nowing what else to say.
“It’s okay,” he said.
She began to imagine how lonely he must be without his wife, his lifelong companion. You can help take away that loneliness now, a voice in her head said. She sighed heavily and ignored the voice.
“Anyway, I’m glad you have somewhere good to stay now. At least that will give me some peace of mind.”
She smiled. “Have I thanked you for the apartment?”
He chuckled. “Many times.”
“Well… thank you again.”
For a few seconds, he said nothing and then sighed. “So, I guess it’s goodbye now. I’ve enjoyed every minute I spent time with you, Lily Hunter. Even though some of those times were a little awkward.”
She shut her eyes as a flood of panic swept over her. He was saying his final goodbye. Oh Lord, I can’t let him go just like that. Not now that I know he’s not married. What was she doing just sitting here?
Still, she forced herself to remain in her seat. She wasn’t thinking straight. The man was clearly still mourning his wife. No good would come out of rushing over to him now. Her mind went back to her past conversations with him. She’d talked about his wife casually, thinking Faye was still alive. She could imagine how much pain that would have caused him, even though he had said nothing. If only he had told her earlier.
What would you have done if he had? It was a good thing he’d held out on telling her the truth until the day before he left Tucson.
“Lily, I have to go,” he said.
“Yes. Have a safe flight and kiss your kids for me.”
“Will do.”
He ended the call, and she wrapped her arms tightly around herself to keep from leaping up and rushing out the door to go to his hotel. Tears flooded her eyes and then streamed down her face.
“Lily!” Sofia put her hand on Lily’s shoulder. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
Lily bowed her head as waves of sorrow washed over her.
Sofia lifted Lily’s head up. “Lily, tell me. What’s troubling you? Is it the phone call you just got? That guy said something to upset you, didn’t he?”
Lily sighed and shook her head.
“Why are you crying, then?”
“Taylor lost his wife. She died months ago, and I didn’t know. He just told me now. He sounded so sad, so hurt. With everything in me, I wish I could go to him right now and comfort him. But I can’t. And he’s leaving tomorrow.” Fresh tears welled in her eyes.
Sofia looked confused. “I don’t understand. You just found out the man you like isn’t married and there’s nothing in your way anymore. Why are you still sitting here, weeping? Go to him!”
“I can’t!”
“Why not? You just told me his wife is dead. He’s single now and so are you. What’s stopping you from...?”
“I just can’t! It makes no difference that we’re both single. With the way I feel about him, the way we feel about each other, I know it wouldn’t be safe for us to be in his hotel room alone.”
Sofia frowned. “You and your weird religious beliefs. I don’t understand how two single consenting adults who have such intense feelings for each other choose to do nothing about it.” She shook her head as she stared at Lily. “It makes no sense.”
Lily turned away from her.
“Okay, tell you what. I’ll go with you to the hotel where he’s staying and act as a chaperone. Will that help?”
Lily stared at Sofia as hope began to swell within her. “You’d do that for me?”
“Of course I will,” Sofia said. “Call him right now and tell him you’re coming over.”
She immediately picked up her cell phone and dialed Taylor’s number. He answered almost instantly, and she told him she was coming over.
There was silence on the other end of the line.
“Taylor?”
“Are you sure that’s the right thing to do?” he asked.
“Yes, Taylor. A friend of mine is coming with me so there’s no temptation to do something we’ll later regret.”
Again he said nothing for a short while and then said, “Okay.” He sounded hesitant, which gave her slight pause, but she waved her concerns away.
“I’ll be right over,” she told him and quickly ended the call. She turned to smile at Sofia. “Let me go get my purse.” She hurried into the next room. Taylor had also outfitted it with a bed, mattress, comfortable all-white bedding, and burgundy drapes. She grabbed her purse from the bed and hurried out again.
She immediately made her way to the front door and stopped when Sofia called out her name.
“Wait for me, Lily!” Sofia said, giggling. “You look like a lovesick teenager. I’m sure he’s still going to be at the hotel when we get there. Just calm down.”
Lily sighed and waited until Sofia was at her side, and they both made their way out of the apartment.
“You’ll drive me there?” Lily asked Sofia as they got into the elevator.
“Yes, I will. Good thing I have my car keys here.” She put her hand on Lily’s shoulder, a huge grin on her face. “I’m almost as excited as you, Lily,” she said. “This’ll be my friend’s first boyfriend. How exciting!”
“He’s not my boyfriend, Sofia.”
“But you want him to be, don’t you?”
She wanted that and much more. But she told Sofia nothing and turned her gaze away from her. In a little while she would see Taylor, but she didn’t know how things would end between them. He was leaving town tomorrow anyway. Who knew if he wanted a relationship with her, especially considering he clearly still loved his wife and was still mourning her.
The best thing she could expect was that he would want a relationship with her. A thread of excitement went through her. It would be a long-distance relationship, which was not ideal, but…
She gasped.
“What is it?” Sophia asked as they stepped out of the elevator.
“I just remembered that he asked me to go to California with him to become his kids’ nanny. Of course I refused because at the time I thought he was married, but now…”
Sofia smiled. “Now you can go.”
Lily frowned, worried. “But I’m still not sure it’s the best thing to do.”
“Why not?” Sofia asked as they strode through the lobby.
“Because of the very same reason I didn’t want to go to his hotel room alone. It would be even worse living in his house or near it. Besides, I’m not sure how he really feels about me. I know he likes me, I know we have a strong physical attraction for each other, but I don’t know if that’s enough. He clearly still loves his wife. I don’t know if he’s in any place to start a relationship right now. It might be a mistake for me to hope he’ll want one with me.”
“This is your insecurity talking, Lily. Besides, you have only really talked about what Taylor wants. What do you want?”
“I will take him up on his job offer and go to California with him. I know I shouldn’t, but I will. Not just because I need a job badly, but because I can’t help it, Sofia. The thought of never seeing him again after today has been driving me crazy.”
Sofia giggled. “So you have already gotten over your fear that you will sleep with him if you move to California and then later regret it?”
Lily rolled her eyes at the mischievous grin on Sofia’s face. “No, I haven’t. But I guess I’ll have to ask the Lord to protect us both.”
Sofia chuckled as they got into her car. “And isn’t that like tempting God or something?” Lily stared at her in surprise, and she shrugged. “What? I read it somewhere. I can’t remember where, though.”
“You’re right, Sofia.” Lily pressed her lips tightly together. “That would be tempting God.” She put her hand on her forehead and sighed sadly. “I guess I can’t take him up on his job offer.”
“But you need the job!”
“The Lord will have to provide one for me here.”
“You’re the strangest person I know,” Sofia said.
Lily did not reply.
Chapter 12
Taylor’s heart drummed as he dressed in a gray sports coat over his shirt and pants and left his hotel room. Lily had sounded so eager to see him. Even though he was equally eager to see her, he felt hesitant at the same time. Yes, she had said she would bring a friend along, but still, he felt very vulnerable with her. And without a doubt it was not completely safe for them to be here in the hotel together, even with her friend.
He got to the lobby, walked to the entrance of the hotel, and took a deep breath when he saw her approaching. She was with a dark-haired woman who looked about her age. He smiled as she reached him, and she smiled back. His pulse raced as he gazed at her. She looked beautiful, even dressed simply in a loose, off-white dress.
He exhaled and told himself to calm down as he reached out to give her a loose hug. She introduced him to her friend Sofia, and he led them both to his favorite restaurant in the hotel. It was almost eight p.m., and the restaurant was packed. They sat at a private table in the far-left corner of the restaurant, and a waiter came to take their order.
He didn’t feel like eating much, so he ordered a simple grilled fish and herb salad. Lily ordered a Caesar’s salad with chicken, and her friend ordered a seafood platter. When she also ordered a glass of cognac, Taylor lifted his eyebrows slightly but said nothing. The waiter left to get their food, and Taylor turned to look at Lily again. She took his hand on the table, and he gasped in surprise.
“I’m sorry, Taylor,” she said. “Faye’s passing must have been so hard.”
He sighed heavily. “It still is. I miss her every day.”
Heat spread through his fingers and up his arms when she wove her fingers through his. Her hand felt soft and warm in his, and a pleasurable sensation ran through him. He was surprised that she was holding his hand, and even more so that she had woven their fingers together. His breath caught in his throat at the look of longing in her eyes.