by Emma Easter
She had done that for a while and then come back to see if there was anything she could do for the kids, but by then Taylor was playing a game of catch with Josh at the back of the house. Bree was sitting on an ornate stool near them with Felicia, laughing and stretching out her little hands as she’d watched the beanbag sail through the air.
Lily had watched them for a while, but none of them seemed to notice her. She’d left again, and by the time she’d come back, Taylor had left the house with his kids. She’d asked Felicia where they’d gone, but the woman had simply grunted and said, “Out.”
Lily sighed. It felt like she had not seen them until this morning, when Taylor had asked if she was ready to travel to Fallow Creek. Yes, he’d told her they would leave for Fallow Creek in two or three days on the day she’d arrived at his house, but he had not told her it would be two or a specific time. She’d had to pack her things quickly. They had left two hours later.
She sighed again. Why had Taylor even asked her to come here to be his kids’ nanny if he didn’t need her help? Why had he asked her to come at all if he was just going to totally ignore her? She understood that he needed time alone with his children and that was why he had taken a vacation, but he’d employed her to care for them, yet he was doing everything himself. In fact, he had actively gone out of his way to see that she did nothing for them. It was clear he was avoiding her and maybe even keeping the children from her.
She looked down as the plane flew over houses, leaving for Arizona again. Soon they would be in Fallow Creek, the town of her birth. He had promised to help find her parents, but by the way things had gone these past two days, she wondered how they would work together to do that if he kept avoiding her.
She turned to look at him again. Bree was strapped into a car seat on his left while Josh sat on his right, laughing as they arm-wrestled. Her heart ached as she watched them. Taylor had actively excluded her from his family time.
She remembered what he’d said about making Josh a promise that once he took a vacation, it would only be the three of them. And though she was here now, it might as well still be just the three of them. She looked out the window again and forced Taylor out of her mind.
Her mind went back to her parents, to the last day she’d seen them in Fallow Creek. She remembered how miserable her mother had been as she’d pleaded with Dennis Hamilton to let Lily stay in town. She remembered how her father had hugged her and the pain in his eyes. She would give anything to see them again now, including patiently bearing Taylor’s behavior toward her.
She pressed her lips tightly together as Taylor roared with laughter. She didn’t turn to look at him or find out why he was laughing. She simply imagined herself with him and the kids now, being part of their fun and laughing with them. Her time with him in Arizona had been anything but fun. It had been full of heartache, longing, guilt, and more longing, and yet it had also been extremely memorable. If only Taylor would look at her the same way he had during those five days together. But he hardly ever looked at her now, not even the very few times he spoke to her.
She definitely wasn’t expecting a repeat of what had happened at her apartment, the day they had nearly kissed, but she would be content to see him smile at her, just once, or at least look at her when he was speaking to her.
It’s only been two days, Lily. Calm down. He’s not seen his kids for days, and he’s just catching up with them. Once he has spent enough time alone with them, he will start to include you, too.
She smiled sardonically. More like remember that she existed.
She chided herself again. Really, Lily, you’re jealous because the man spends time with his children rather than with you. Stop being so childish!
She glanced at him and the kids again. They had finally settled down, and Bree was now on her father’s lap, leaning back on his chest. Taylor had his hand on Joshua’s hair, slowly running his fingers through it, while he held Bree with his other arm. He had a smile on his face; a smile of pure contentment. She sighed sadly. It hadn’t taken long for him to completely forget about her. But what had she imagined would happen when they came here? That he would carry on with her as though they were still in Tucson rather than focus completely on his children? They were his main priority now, and rightfully so.
But I’m not asking him to make me a priority. I just want him to notice me again. Surely, that isn’t too much to ask.
She turned back to them when Bree began to whimper. Taylor tried to soothe her, but she wanted to get off his lap, probably so she could be free to roam around the plane. Lily got up immediately and went to them. She smiled tentatively as she looked down at Taylor. “Let me take her so you can rest,” she said. “We can both walk around the plane together if she doesn’t feel like sitting down.” She gasped when Josh got up from his seat and squeezed himself between her and Taylor.
“Josh!” Taylor scowled at him. “Sit back down and buckle your seatbelt!”
Lily began to back away, and Josh said loudly, “Dad. I don’t like the way she looks at you!”
Lily cringed, and her face grew hot with embarrassment. Mortified, she turned around and walked back to her seat. She looked out the window as shame flooded her. This wasn’t good. Even a little boy had noticed how much time she spent ogling Taylor. It hadn’t been intentional, though that didn’t matter. She hadn’t even known that she had spent way too much time looking at him. Enough for his son to notice. She would never live down this shame.
She bit her lip. It was clear that Josh didn’t like her at all. He was probably afraid that she was here to replace his mom. He clearly didn’t want his dad in a relationship with another woman, and, like most children, he had said exactly what was on his mind. A fresh wave of shame washed over her. Josh had clearly read the intense feelings she had for Taylor in her eyes. She did not blame Josh for what he’d said. He was a child acting up because he missed his mom and was afraid he would lose his dad… at least his dad’s undivided attention. She did not blame Taylor, either. He had gone out of his way to help her, and they were going to Fallow Creek now because of her. She blamed herself for falling in love with him even though she knew he was unavailable still. Yes, he was single now, but his heart was still attached to his late wife.
After a while, she turned away from the window and groaned when she glanced again at Taylor. He was asleep now, and Bree had slipped off his lap and was playing with Josh, who was still seated beside Taylor. Her eyes met Josh’s, and he glared at her before turning back to his sister.
Lily turned away.
Five minutes later, Bree began to stagger away from Josh just as slight turbulence rocked the plane. She fell, landed on her butt, and began to cry.
Lily immediately got up to get her, but Josh moved like lightning and stood between her and his sister.
Lily said exasperatedly, “Josh, Bree’s crying. She needs help. I just want to pick her up and buckle her into her seat.”
Josh glowered at Lily. “Bree doesn’t need your help! We don’t need you!”
Lily sighed.
Taylor opened his eyes and shot to his feet. He grabbed Bree from the floor and settled her on his lap again. Glaring at Josh, he said, “You will not speak to Lily that way, Josh! Apologize right now!”
Josh grumbled and said “Sorry,” in a voice that told Lily he was anything but. He went and sat down in his seat again.
“I’m so sorry for that,” Taylor looked at Lily and then quickly looked away before she could respond.
Lily felt anger burning in her stomach. Not at Josh, but at Taylor. He couldn’t even look at her when he spoke to her. Why had he asked her to come with him if he was going to treat her this way? She took a deep breath to try to rid herself of her anger and said, “It’s okay. Josh is just a child, and I understand that I’m simply a stranger to him.”
Taylor nodded without looking at her and looked down at Bree. He wiped the tears from her eyes with his thumb and kissed her cheek.
Lily
watched them with longing. Would she ever have a family of her own one day? She pictured herself holding Bree, Taylor beside her, looking at her with eyes full of love, Josh grinning beside them. She sighed and went back to her seat.
She loved Taylor. She could admit that to herself now. She was desperately in love with him, but he didn’t feel the same way. What she had pictured in her mind would never happen. And she would never have a family of her own if she remained with Taylor and his kids. The best thing she could do was go back to Tucson as soon as she found her parents. She would have to give herself time to forget about Taylor. When that would happen, she didn’t know. But judging from how strong her feelings were for him, she doubted it would be anytime soon.
Twenty minutes later, the plane landed on a small airstrip in Prospect and taxied into the hanger. Like in California, a car was already waiting to drive them to Fallow Creek. Taylor had rented a black SUV, which reminded Lily of the ones that the security squad had driven around in. They would be in Fallow Creek in about two hours if there were no problems on the road.
They loaded their things into the trunk of the vehicle, and Taylor got into the backseat with Josh and Bree. Lily sat alone in the middle seat, directly behind the driver. She sighed sadly again and then told herself to get her feelings together. This was how it would be from now on, and there was no point dwelling on it.
But she could not shake the intense loneliness she felt. She had heard someone say that it was possible to be lonely even in a crowd, and that sometimes you could feel even lonelier than when you were on your own. She certainly felt that way. She was lonelier now than the days she had spent alone in her new apartment.
She shut her eyes to try to sleep as Bree’s laughter filled the vehicle. Taylor was telling them a silly joke now, and his deep voice stirred up an aching need in her that she knew she had to smother. Sleep would be her salvation.
But she could not sleep. She kept listening to Taylor’s voice as he told one silly story after another, laughing with his kids, the three of them enjoying each other’s company.
You can join in, Lily.
But she knew she couldn’t. Josh would say something rude, Taylor would reprimand him while ignoring her, and then not only would she not have joined in the family fun, she would have simply ruined it. It was best to stay out of it.
She focused her mind on why they were going to Fallow Creek. To find her family.
But she ached not only to find her parents and sister, but also to be a part of the family that was having fun together behind her. Without her.
Sleep finally and mercifully claimed her a few minutes later, but then she woke up startled when someone called her name. Taylor had opened the car door and was looking at her with an expression she could not read.
“We’re here, Lily,” he said. “We’ve arrived in Fallow Creek.”
Lily looked out the window and conflicting emotions began to war in her mind. They were in front of the Restoration House, the House she had spent months in. The House she had been so desperate to leave that she had promised her parents she would marry whoever it was they wanted her to. This place brought back awful memories, but then the town also brought back good memories, especially of her loved ones.
She stepped out of the car, and her heart skipped a beat when Taylor took her hand and helped her out. He let go of her hand as soon as she was out of the car and turned away.
She got her suitcase from the trunk of the car and rolled it behind her toward the gates of the House. Taylor was already in front with Josh. With one hand, he rolled a massive suitcase containing all his things as well as Josh’s and Bree’s; in his other arm, he carried Bree. Josh had his knapsack on his back.
Just as Taylor lifted his hand to ring the bell, Rachel came bounding to the gate, a huge smile on her face.
Lily peered through the bars of the gate as a handsome man came behind Rachel. They both opened the gate, and Taylor and the kids walked in first. Lily followed behind, forgetting momentarily her loneliness and Taylor’s attitude toward her. She focused on Rachel, happy to see her friend again.
Rachel gave Taylor a big hug and then looked down at Josh and gathered him in a hug as well. Finally, she looked at Bree. “Oh, Taylor, she’s beautiful,” Rachel said in a voice choked with emotion.
Taylor smiled and nodded. “She looks like her mother.”
“Yes,” Rachel said. “You’re right. She definitely looks like Faye.”
“I wish Faye was here to see our daughter,” Taylor said. “To see how beautiful and exuberant she is.”
Rachel hugged him again, gathering Bree into the embrace. Finally, she stepped away, looked at Lily, and beamed. She stretched out her arms and pulled Lily into a tight hug. “I thought I would never see you again, Lily Hunter.”
Lily grinned. “I’m so happy to see you. I thought the same thing.”
Rachel pulled away slightly and gave Lily a mischievous smile. “Now why wasn’t I surprised when I heard that you were kicked out of Fallow Creek? I always knew it would happen eventually, knowing how stubborn you are.”
Lily laughed. “If I remember correctly, you were sent packing before me. So we are both stubborn, but that’s okay. It’s served us well.”
“That it has,” Rachel said, and turned to the handsome man beside her. “Everyone, this is my husband, Keith. Keith, this is my brother, Taylor. And this is Josh, his son. This tiny little pumpkin right here is Bree, his daughter. And this is my friend, Lily.”
Taylor gathered Keith in a tight hug and pounded his back. After that, Keith bent down to grin at Josh and tickled Bree’s chin. Finally, he hugged Lily.
With a huge smile, Lily said, “Now I see why my friend talked nonstop about you when we were both living here. I thought she was exaggerating, but you’re as handsome as she said you were.” She looked at Rachel. “I’m glad you were finally able to reunite with him. I remember how heartbroken you were when you thought he was dead.”
“Please don’t remind me of those days,” Rachel said, smiling. She wrapped her arms around Keith and pulled him close. “What would I have done without him? He’s my rock.” She kissed him, and Lily’s heart filled with envy and pain. She glanced over at Taylor. He had a corny grin on his face, and his hand covered Josh’s eyes.
Josh chuckled and slapped his father’s hand away.
Bree began to fuss and, without thinking, Lily reached for her. Hurt and pain shot through her again as Taylor moved slightly away and tightened his grip on Bree.
“She’s just tired. She’ll be fine,” he said without looking at Lily. “Once we go in and she settles down and takes a nap, she should be good as new.”
Lily felt like going to a place where she could be alone and weeping her eyes out. Taylor had given her this job to take care of his kids when he’d never intended for her to do so. Why?
“So, let’s all go in,” Rachel said, pointing at the Restoration House. “The kids need to rest, and we adults need to catch up.” She pulled away from her husband and went to take Lily’s hand. “We girls especially have a lot to catch up on,” she said, smiling at Lily.
Lily smiled back, feeling a little better.
Inside the House, Lily looked around the common room. Even though the Restoration House looked the same on the outside, it was now completely different on the inside. At least, the common room was. It had been empty during the time she’d stayed here, and no one ever lingered in this place, but now there were sofas around the huge room, a center rug, and a coffee table. A huge, flat screen TV was mounted on the wall. But what was most surprising to Lily was that women lounged on the sofas, some even in their pajamas, talking and laughing.
She glanced at the stairs and saw women coming up and down with smiles on their faces. This place seemed completely different now. She turned to Rachel. “Well, Rachel Dalton! I’m so happy you’re in charge of this place now. The women look so much happier. Now, if I’d still been here when you took over, I would definitely not
have been so desperate to tell my parents I would marry anyone just to find a way out of the House.”
Keith, who was standing at the back with Taylor, said, “And this is just one of the many things Rachel has done to change the House. Everything is different now, from the food to the furnishings and the rooms.”
“That’s great!” Lily said, looking at Rachel, impressed but not surprised. “What about those horrid renewal classes?” She laughed. “No. Don’t tell me. I know you hated those classes as much as I did. They were the first to go, weren’t they?”
“Actually, I couldn’t stop the classes right away. Dennis Hamilton was still in charge of this town at the time.”
“What? Dennis Hamilton was in charge when you started running the Restoration House?” Lily asked astonished. “How did that happen?”
Rachel chuckled. “It’s a long story. We have a lot to talk about, Lily.”
“Well, I can’t wait to hear everything,” Lily said. “Taylor has told me some things that happened, but I know you have a lot more to tell me.”
They climbed up the stairs to go to Rachel and Keith’s private apartment. Lily had never been there when it was Margaret’s. She couldn’t wait to see the place. She and many of the residents of the House had always wondered about the apartment that was right inside the massive Restoration House.
Many women greeted them warmly as they made their way to the apartment, and the few that where acquaintances hugged Lily. “We thought we would never see you again after you were banished from Fallow Creek,” a few of them said to her.
“I’m glad I’m here,” Lily told them.
They finally got to the apartment, and Lily admired the place. It was not lavishly furnished, but the furnishings were tasteful, and everything was pleasing to the eye. She sat on a cream sofa and breathed a sigh of relief. She was tired from their trip, but not enough to take a nap. She wanted to hear everything Rachel had to say.
Rachel sat beside her and took her hand. Lily turned and smiled gratefully at Rachel, glad to have a friend with her now. She felt considerably less lonely already. Rachel’s presence here made her realize just how lonely she had been these past two days in Taylor’s house. Never had she thought it would be the case. She had known that being with him in his house, or at least on the grounds of his house, would be difficult, that their desire for each other would be tough to bear, but she had never imagined that he would completely ignore her to focus on his kids, or that she would be consumed with loneliness even though she was in the same house as the man she deeply loved.