by B. B. Hamel
My guts rumbled and twisted. Fuck, I hadn’t thought of that. By killing Dr. Silver, I robbed his victims of their day in court.
And yet I didn’t know what else to do. I could wait for someone to arrest him—but in the meantime, the sick fuck might molest more kids. I couldn’t let him do that, even if it meant giving him an escape from the truth getting out.
Dr. Silver got it easy. He deserved a lot worse.
“Maybe it’ll come out. We can’t be the only ones, right?”
He shrugged. “You ever try to find anyone else?”
“No, never.”
“My neither. And I doubt I’ll start now.” He forced another smile and knocked on the doorframe. “Anyway, hey, it’s a happy day. The sick doctor got what he deserved, right?”
“Yeah, totally.” I wanted to go to him, to hug him and say I was sorry, but we both had too much of our parents to do that.
Sam only waved and left. He disappeared into his room and blasted his music.
I closed my door then collapsed onto my bed. The tears that wanted to wrench themselves up from my throat finally burst out, and I screamed into my pillow as anger and sadness and self-loathing retched out of me in a torrent of emotion. I hated my parents, hated myself, and hated Dr. Silver most of all for doing this to me—for taking something away and leaving me this broken shell of a girl that might never, ever, ever come back to herself.
13
Jarrod
The news of Dannis Silver’s death broke faster than I anticipated.
I knew it would happen. We left his body out in the open for anyone to find. I figured it would’ve taken longer though, given that he was in the middle of the woods a fair distance from his house or the closest neighborhoods.
This didn’t change much. It moved up my timeline, but even still. I planned for this.
I texted Cora that night around nine.
Jarrod: I got something I need your help with.
Cora: Tonight?
Jarrod: I’ll pick you up in an hour.
Cora: Wait, come later. I’ll have to sneak out.
Jarrod: Midnight then. See you soon.
I paced my tight room and tried to calm my anxious nerves.
I felt like this before big games. Football was meaningless—I didn’t attach any emotional significance to winning or losing.
But I still felt a twist in my guts when we charged out onto the field. So many people expected great things: my teammates needed my ruthless drive and reckless violence; my coached wanted big plays; the fans screamed for the monster of Blackwoods College.
I wasn’t immune to pressure, although I hated myself for it.
I felt the pressure of Silver’s death as I drove to pick up Cora. I worried about her ability to push through what was to come. None of this would be easy, but I wouldn’t let her end up in prison for the rest of her life, not before I had a chance to taste her and take her every way I wanted.
And I wanted every inch.
I killed the engine halfway down her block. She appeared a few minutes later, bundled up in a black jacket and a scarf. She shut the door and twisted toward me, frowning in the streetlight.
“What’s going on? Did you hear what happened?”
“Cops found him.” I stated the engine and drove. “This was going to happen eventually.”
“I hoped we’d have more time.”
“That’s not how it shook out. We’re still okay.”
“I’m starting to worry.”
“Keep it together, baby girl.”
She sighed and looked out the window. “What happened to freak?”
“You’re still my freak, but you’re also my baby.” I put a hand on her thigh. I was possessive of her, I realized. It was strange, feeling like this.
I’d had plenty of pussy, but never once needed to claim ownership. Girls came and went and I didn’t give a damn if they stayed.
Cora was different.
Maybe because we’d killed together.
“Where are we going?” She brushed my hand away. I liked that she denied her desire for me. It made the game that much more fun.
“We have a task and I wanted to make sure you were along for the ride.”
“We’re not killing anyone else, are we?”
“No, freak, we’re done killing.”
She closed her eyes. “My brother knows he’s dead.”
“Was he happy?”
“We laughed a lot.”
I smiled. I liked that she had a good moment. “Maybe this’ll be what he needed to move on.”
“I don’t know. I’m afraid we’re just stuck. I thought once the asshole was dead—” But she stopped and shook her head.
“Try not to let him keep taking from you,” I said softly.
She glared at me. “I don’t need your armchair psychologist bullshit.”
“Probably not, but you should listen to it anyway.”
I parked near a heavily wooded area and Cora perked up instantly. “I know where we are. You’re taking me to the quarry again.” She glanced over and I saw real fear in her expression.
“Don’t worry, baby girl. I’m not here to hurt you.” I got out of the truck and waved for her to follow.
I halfway expected her to stay behind, but she eventually came with me. We stomped through the forest again, not talking, until we reached the gap in the fence. Once through, I led her to the edge of the cliff and we stood there, overlooking the sheer drop.
This time, I wasn’t testing her.
I reached into my jacket for a cloth-wrapped object. She glanced down at it, frowning, until I moved aside the old t-shirt.
It was the bloodstained knife.
“Do you want to do the honors?” I asked, holding it toward her.
She hesitated then took it. The knife looked huge in her hand. I kept thinking about the feel of plunging it into Silver’s neck and all the blood that spurted out onto the ground. There was more blood than I thought and he lingered longer than I wanted, but after the second stab, he quickly faded away.
I should’ve felt something. Anger, sadness, my soul breaking into pieces. I committed murder.
But I felt none of that.
Dr. Silver was a pedophile, a molester, a rapist. He deserved what he got and I couldn’t regret sending him from this world.
Killing him was the only good thing I’d ever done.
“I almost want to keep it. You know, something to remember him by.”
“It’s better if you forget him.”
“I don’t think I’ll do that anytime soon.” She gripped the knife tightly. “I wish I was the one that ended him.”
“He needed to see you. He had to understand why it was happening.”
“I know, but still.” She chewed her lip. I loved when she did that. I pictured her mouth opening and my cock sliding down into her pretty mouth. “My brother said something.”
“What happened?”
“He said he felt almost robbed. Like the world might never find out about what kind of sick monster Dr. Silver actually was.”
I nodded slowly. “I thought about that, but I suspect we’ll get lucky.”
“Why?”
“The cops are looking into him now. I bet he has something incriminating on his hard drives. Once they go through this data, it’ll be there, and they’ll know.”
“What if they don’t release it?”
“They will. Cops hate pedophiles as much as we do.” I nodded at the knife in her hand. “You should throw it now before you lose your nerve.”
She cocked her hand back then launched it into the night. It spun end over end and dropped down into the chalky water down below. I couldn’t see the splash, but I knew it was gone.
We stepped back from the edge. She started to head toward the fence, but I caught her wrist.
“You did the right thing, you know.”
“I’m afraid I didn’t.”
“You protected people by taking him out.”
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She nodded, not looking at me. “I know I did.”
I forced her chin up. “I want you to be brave. I don’t like this simpering little self-pitying girl.”
Anger flashed then. Good, that was what I wanted.
“Fuck you.” She pulled away. “I’m not simpering.”
“But you are self-pitying.”
“Can you blame me? After what I’ve been through?”
“You let it define you.”
“Fuck off, Jarrod. You don’t know a thing about me.” She stalked toward the fence.
“I know better than you think.” I stared at her, desire rolling off me in waves. I approached and she backed off.
“What do you mean?”
“You think you’re the only person that’s been through some shit in their life?” I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into me. She stumbled and glared up at me, but I held her tight. “You think you’re the only one that’s been hurt?”
“Robyn said something the other day. She made it seem like you’re not the piece of garbage you pretend to be.”
“Don’t believe her.” My hand slipped up into her hair. I didn’t want my cousin telling stories about me, but I also didn’t want Cora to hate me. I was conflicted, angry, and half-hard. “I’m still a beast. And I’m a killer now.”
“We’re both killers.”
I yanked and her mouth came up toward mine.
I lingered an inch from her lips. I held her hard enough to hurt, but she didn’t squirm.
Her mouth opened. Her pink tongue pressed against her lips.
I moved closer.
Then she bit me.
I cursed and pulled her hair. She groaned as I dropped her to the ground and pinned her with my body. She struggled, but I was twice her size.
“Asshole,” she whispered. “Is this how you want it?”
“You can struggle, if you want. It might be fun.”
She glared at me, but this time when I kissed her, she moaned into my lips and flashes of need and longing and delicious sex rolled down my body in waves.
She tasted like heaven, like the tip of the spear, like hell. I growled as she moved her hips against me, urging herself closer. Baby girl wanted me to fuck her right here. My tongue invaded her mouth, owning her, dominating her, tasting her. I wanted to drink her up and keep her forever. I was a possessive dark demon and she was my soulmate.
But I ripped my face away. She stared up at me, moaning, writhing. She wanted me to rip her clothes off, tug her jeans down, and slide myself inside.
She was nearly begging.
Not yet. Fuck, not yet, and not here.
I stood up and backed away. She sat up on her hands and stared at me, breathing hard.
“You almost had me,” I said softly, the chilly air taking my words out over the quarry. “You almost got what you wanted.”
“And what do I want, Jarrod?”
“You want me to fuck you, baby.”
She clenched her jaw, but her eyes blazed. “Goddamn right I do. I want you to stop holding it above my head and do it.”
“You filthy little girl. You knew I couldn’t resist a little pain.”
“You’re like me like that.”
My cock raged at her words.
I had to turn away. “Let’s get out of here.”
I walked back to the fence. Each step was agony. Cora was back there, lips plump, body willing and ready, practically throwing herself at me.
But when I took her, it wouldn’t be out in the open in the freezing cold.
It’d be somewhere I could take my time and show her what she really needed.
She caught up with me. I helped her through the fence then drove her back home. As she got out of my truck, she hesitated, then kissed my cheek.
“See you later,” she said, and ran off.
I watched her go, every inch of my skin pulsing with want.
Things were going to get harder, but if we made it to the other side—sweet rewards waited.
I only had to hold out a little bit longer.
14
Cora
I don’t hear from Jarrod at all during the weekend. He texted me the next morning after ditching the knife in the quarry to tell me to get a new burner phone, but after that, it was radio silence.
He had a football game that Sunday and Robyn invited me along.
I wasn’t really a football person, but I had nothing better to do. The stadium was packed with local fans and students chanting, cheering, and drinking surreptitiously from flasks. Robyn seemed excited as the guys lined up down on the field, and I spent the whole game looking for Jarrod.
Everything I heard about him was true. He was a savage on the field—constantly getting involved in every play and making really hard and violent tackles. At least twice I thought he might’ve killed the opposing player, and every time he got anywhere near the ball, I wondered if it would be the last time he ever walked.
He played like he didn’t expected to survive to see the next sunrise.
It was hard to watch. I didn’t want Jarrod to hurt himself, but I was transfixed by the beauty of his pure, explosive strength and speed.
Robyn seemed more interested in Calvin Solar than anyone else, and when I teased her about it in the car ride back home after the boys won by a touchdown, she only blushed.
“He’s the nicest one, that’s all.”
“What do you mean, the nicest one? He barely speaks.”
“Addler and Des feed off Jarrod.” Robyn hesitated, picking her words carefully. “They’re nice when other people are around. But when it’s just them? I don’t know, it’s like they’re different people. But Calvin’s always the same.”
I looked at her carefully, trying to read her expression, but she’d gotten good at hiding things from me.
Not that I could blame her. I’d gotten good at doing the same thing.
“Don’t tell me you have a crush on him.”
“Now you’re just being gross.”
“You’re the one mooning over that weirdo.”
“I’m not mooning.” We pulled onto my street and Robyn slowed. “Do your parents have company over?”
I frowned at the nondescript black sedan parked in the driveway. “I don’t think so. It’s Sunday, they never do anything on Sunday.”
“Maybe Sam got a new car.” She pulled over by the curb. “Tell him I said hey, by the way.”
“Will do.” I opened the door and stepped out. “See you tomorrow?”
“Later, gator.” She blew me a kiss and drove off.
I approached the house. Sam definitely didn’t get a new car—he had no money and my parents sure weren’t paying for it. Besides, he’d pony up for something much cooler than a ten-year-old Toyota Corolla.
I tried not to worry about it as I went inside. I heard voices in the living room and approached, figuring I’d find Mom and Dad trying to extract themselves from a door-to-door knife salesman or something, and instead paused as I stared in at my worst nightmare.
The woman sitting with my parents was middle-aged with dark hair cut close, deep brown eyes, and dark skin. She wore a boring pant suit and sat with her back straight, her eyes roaming the room like a hawk. She noticed me right away, and her eyebrows quirked slightly, a smile slipping onto her lips. She was thin, in good shape, and wore comfortable running shoes.
She reeked of the police.
“Honey,” Mom said, standing up. She never called me that. “Detective Bates was just asking about you.”
I felt my blood run cold.
Detective.
This couldn’t be happening. We were so careful. Jarrod promised there were no cameras along our path, and we hadn’t left any evidence behind. No DNA, no scraps of paper or something stupid like that. We made sure to keep to ourselves—nobody else knew about our plan.
So why was a detective sitting in my dining room?
“Hello, Cora,” Detective Bates said. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Detective Bates laughed. She had a good laugh—disarming and kind. Her eyes crinkled up as she cleared her throat.
“You’re not in trouble. Everyone thinks they’re in trouble when I come around, but it’s not like that.” She glanced at my parents. “Would you two mind if we spoke in private?”
My heart did wild flips and leaps and I was pretty sure if I didn’t sit down right this second, I’d pass out and die.
My parents took their sweet time getting up. Mom collected the tea cups and took them into the kitchen while my dad glared death at me. I watched for them to give us some privacy before I joined Detective Bates at the table.
She studied me with that smile again.
“You don’t have to be nervous,” she said softly. “I’m just here to ask a couple questions.”
“Okay, sure, but I don’t know what I can help you with.”
She took out her phone and placed it down between us. “Do you mind if I record this? It’s for my notes. Makes it easier to go back and reference stuff.”
I wanted to say, absolutely no fucking way, but instead I only shrugged. “Whatever, that’s fine.”
“Great.” She hit the red record button then clasped her hands. “This is Detective Lynn Bates interviewing Cora Boyle. Would you mind stating your name?” She grinned and winked.
“Uh, Cora Boyle.”
“Great, thank you.” She adjusted herself and took a deep breath. “All right, Cora. I have a sort of delicate question to ask you, and I’m not sure how to do it the right way.”
I thought I might be sick. This woman knew. She knew I was a killer, that I helped murder Dr. Silver. She was drawing me out and soon she’d throw me in cuffs and my life would be over.
“Rip off the Band-Aid,” I said, doing my best to match her posture.
“All right then. How do you know Dannis Silver?”
I leaned back and nearly threw up. Detective Bates studied me very carefully as I took a deep breath and let it out.