Convincing Leah (Surrender Book 9)

by Becca Jameson

  But what stops my heart is that her thumb is in her mouth. I’ve never seen her do that. I doubt she ever has.

  I turned off the TV a while ago, letting her sleep while I put together her bedroom. I can’t help that it’s going to smell like paint for a few days, but it’s warm enough outside that I’ve opened the window in there and set a fan up to help dissipate the fumes.

  I hate to wake her, but she’s going to have trouble sleeping tonight if I don’t rouse her, so I gently sit on the couch next to her and run my palm up her back. “Sweetheart…”

  She blinks at me a few times and then jerks her thumb out of her mouth and unballs her body slightly. “I fell asleep,” she declares as if this is a revelation.

  I smile. “You did. I’m sure you’re exhausted. I’ll make sure you get plenty of naps for the next few days.” I tuck my arms under her and lift her onto my lap because I need to touch more of her.

  She lets me, wrapping her arms around my chest and hugging me. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

  “You’re welcome, sweet girl. It’s my pleasure.” I lean my nose against the top of her head and inhale her scent. I love that she let me wash her with baby soap. The scent lingers on her skin. Her soft hair is falling all around her shoulders from the pigtails.

  I press my lips to the top of her head and kiss her. “Do you want to see your new room?”

  She tips her head back and smiles at me, nodding.

  I stand, scooping her up with me. I like her in my arms. I nuzzle her neck as I move toward the special room designed just for her. When I reach the doorway, I let her slide to her feet, smiling at the way her dress rises up her body in the process. It doesn’t fall back into place until she takes a step away from me.

  I love that she didn’t get all modest and embarrassed this time, tugging at the hem when it rode up so high. I love that her panties were fully exposed and most of her torso. I also love the way her eyes are bugging out and she’s grinning from ear to ear.

  She pads deeper into the room, slowly moving from one piece of furniture to another. She grazes her fingertips over everything from the bedspread to the dresser to the rocking chair to the bookshelf.

  I lean against the doorframe, grinning like a fool.

  When she stops wandering in front of the shelves, I watch her peruse all the dolls and toys I’ve crammed into the space. Her small hand reaches out to pick up a baby doll, the kind with a soft body and plastic hands, feet, and head.

  She holds it in front of her for several moments and then she brings it to her chest and hugs it close, rocking back and forth like a little mommy.

  A piece of me melts into the floor. I’ve been holding my breath for several hours, praying she would like this room as much as I want her to. Emotions well up inside me. I want a snapshot of this second to last me my entire life.

  I won’t need an actual picture. I’ll never forget this moment in time. Not in a hundred years. It feels like we’re stepping over a gray line into uncharted territory.

  When Leah turns to face me, her eyes are watery and she swallows. “I don’t know how to be little,” she whispers.

  I come to her and sweep her up into my arms to carry her to the rocking chair. I sit, cradling her and the doll she’s clutching. “You’ll figure it out, sweetheart. You need to give yourself a break. You’ve been running at full speed for most of your life. You need some time off. Some time to catch up and just be.”

  She looks at me. “But it feels so selfish.” She shudders. “I only know how to be responsible and take care of everything. I don’t know how to be on the other end. You’re doing everything for me, and I’m selfishly letting you carry all of the burden.”

  It’s going to take a lot of work to break down years of believing she has to be in control and responsible for everything all the time. I brush a loose hair from her cheek. “It’s not selfish, sweet girl. Everyone deserves to be pampered and loved. You didn’t get enough of that growing up. Let me give it to you now.”

  “But don’t you feel exhausted doing everything while I watch you?”

  I shake my head. “It’s the greatest gift you could give me, Leah. My deepest desire is to take care of you. I know it’s new and we’re experimenting here, but I would be humbled and privileged if you eventually decided to be my sweet little girl forever.”

  She chews on her lower lip, worry furrowing her brow.

  “I don’t want you to think about the future right now. Live in the moment. Later, we can figure out what works best for you. How much of your time you’d like to spend in this space if at all. For now, your job is to pretend you don’t have a care in the world and spend your days playing with toys, coloring, and reading.

  “For the next week, you don’t have to worry about a single other thing. Daddy will let you know when it’s time to eat and sleep and take a bath. We’ll check your email together occasionally to make sure nothing urgent is happening. Okay? Can you take a week to completely relax?”

  She nods. “I think so. I wasn’t getting any writing done anyway. I can’t seem to get into my next book. I think it’s your fault.” Her words don’t go with her expression. Her eyes are dancing with mirth.

  “My fault, huh? How do you figure?” I tickle her tummy briefly.

  She giggles. “Because you distract me.”

  “I distract you?” I lift my brows. How far back is she talking about?

  She nods. “Uh-huh. I was thinking back and I don’t think I’ve accomplished much since I met you. I’ve been going through the motions, pushing to get the edits done on my last book and get it ready for release, but nothing new has come from my fingers.”

  I grin. I have no idea why this pleases me. “I don’t see how I can be to blame. We only saw each other twice a week until this week. I called you a few times in between, but I hardly think you can blame me for keeping you from working.”

  She smirks. It’s adorable. “Well, I do. I couldn’t stop thinking about you in between. It wasn’t conducive to a Suzanne Richards book. Everything I wrote went in the trash and I started over every day.”

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I think.” I grin at her and wink. “But it does make my chest pump out a bit to think I’ve been distracting you.” I tickle her again and she squirms delightfully in my lap, her dress riding up so that her panties are fully visible.

  I set my palm on her bare tummy and rub her soft skin. “How about you explore the room for a while. Find some toys that interest you. I’ll start dinner.”

  She nods.

  I stand and set her on her feet, pointing at the window. “Don’t get too close to the fan. I don’t want it to fall on you. And let me know if you get chilly. I thought the fumes would dissipate faster if I put the fan in the window. I’ll leave the door open too.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  I draw in a breath. The scent is still pretty powerful. I don’t want her to get a headache.

  “I’m fine, Craig.” She pushes me toward the door with both hands.

  “Okay, okay.” I pause to look back at her as she skips toward the toy chest and leans over to inspect the contents. I love this age. If my ex-wife would have enjoyed being five, I think we could have made things work. But she didn’t. Avery was meant to be a middle, and she’s much happier now that she’s met Andrew.

  I’m rooted to the spot, once again watching Leah in her new room. She bends at the waist, her panties showing. Her pigtails are hanging into the toy box. She’s precious and adorable. I’m glad I bought her several dresses like this one. Short. Loose. Comfortable. I can’t wait to dress her every day and see her in them, watch as she blossoms and relaxes.

  She plops down onto her bottom on the plush pink rug, seemingly unaware I haven’t moved yet. She settles her doll in her lap so the doll can see what’s going on, and then she opens a book and starts to read to the doll.

  It takes all my strength to leave her sitting there. I need to start dinner, but I feel like saying fuck it and orderi
ng pizza so I can watch my little girl play.

  Leah needs time alone though, time to adjust without me hovering. She needs a lifetime of catching up. I hope she’ll agree to stay with me forever and let me pamper her until we both die, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

  I must remind myself several times a day that I can’t pressure her. She’s experimenting with something that wasn’t on her conscious radar at all until yesterday.

  At this point, I’ve fallen so hard for her that I could probably let go of my strong need to be a Daddy Dom if it was what she needed. I’ll consider myself blessed and lucky if she agrees to spend any amount of time in this space. If she feels like she needs to be grown up even for ninety percent of the time so she can work and shop and eat out and hang with friends, I’ll accommodate her.

  It’s not unheard of. I know plenty of Daddy/little relationships that aren’t even close to full-time. I can be flexible. We could keep this door closed except when she wants to be in her little space. It would work.

  I feel slightly lighter as I enter the kitchen and start thinking about dinner. A knock at the door moments later has me turning around. As I aim for the door, I can see Colton through the side window.

  I don’t hesitate to open the door, and then I’m surprised to see Eve is with him. Colton has his hands on her shoulders, his knuckles white enough to indicate he’s restraining her. “I’m sorry to come over without notice, but you weren’t answering your phone and neither was Leah. Eve is worried, and I couldn’t hold her back any longer.”

  I step back. “Come on in. I’m so sorry. My fault. I’ve been painting and assembling furniture all day. I don’t even know where I last set my phone. Leah’s either. It’s probably dead somewhere.” I cock my head. “Or not here at all.” I palm my forehead. “Last time I saw it was on her kitchen counter when we realized she was missing.”

  “I put it in her suitcase,” Eve points out.

  I nod. “Sorry. I didn’t rummage deep enough, I guess.”

  She leans around me as if looking for Leah.

  Colton hauls her back closer to him, one arm wrapped around her chest, keeping her in check. He leans down and speaks to her, close to her ear. Softly, but loud enough for me to hear.

  His voice holds an impressive level of authority. As is her reaction to him. “What did I tell you in the car, baby?”

  She sighs, her body going slightly limp against him. “That we would not intrude. That Leah might not want visitors.”

  “And?”

  She blows out a breath. “Daddy…”

  He holds her tighter, his arm reaching between her small breasts to flatten on her tummy. I realize she’s completely little right now. She must have either taken today off work or come home early because she wanted to come and check on Leah. I can’t blame her.

  “Answer me, or we will turn around and get back into the car right now,” Colton insists.

  She tips her head back to look at him more directly. “If I don’t calm down and let you and Craig talk first, you’ll spank my bottom.”

  “Do I need to make good on that already?”

  “No, Sir.” She shakes her head, her pigtails swaying.

  Colton returns to standing at his full height. “Like I was saying, we simply wanted to make sure you two were okay. We were both concerned.”

  “Of course. I’m so sorry. It’s been crazy and I should have called you.” I wave them farther into the living room. “Please, have a seat.” I’m not unaware this is a delicate situation. Leah and I haven’t discussed exposing her experiment to anyone outside of the two of us and Master Quinten yet. When she first agreed to give this a try, she insisted she didn’t want anyone to find out. I know confronting other people makes her nervous.

  Colton hesitates, not moving an inch. He can probably sense my unease. “We should probably go. Just wanted to make sure Leah is okay. When she’s up to it you can have her call Eve.”

  I shake my head. “Don’t leave yet. Leah would probably kill me. Let me go talk to her and see if she’s up to having guests.”

  Eve bounces on her feet. I bet if Colton released her, she would run down the hallway. I’m glad Colton has her under control, albeit marginally.

  “Give me a few minutes.” I turn and head for the back bedroom. Leah is still sitting on the floor where I left her, reading to her doll. She twists her head around to look at me as I enter and shut the door behind me.

  “What’s wrong? I thought you were making dinner.” She hasn’t heard a single noise from the front of the house because the fan is drowning out everything.

  I squat down next to her so our eyes are closer to level. “I was, but Colton and Eve showed up.”

  She flinches and her spine goes rigid. “Oh.” She glances past me toward the closed door.

  “I told them you were fine and that I would see if you were up to having guests. They’re still standing next to the front door. I can go right back in there and say you are too tired and will call Eve later if you want, but I didn’t want to make that choice for you.”

  She chews on her lip.

  “You have options. If you want, you can go into the master bedroom and change into other clothes so you can face Eve. You can go out to the living room as you are. I could bring her back here and keep Colton out of it. Whatever you want, sweetheart.” I reach out and stroke her cheek. “It’s your decision.” I hate that she hasn’t had time to ponder this situation before it was thrust on her.

  She’s trembling. “Eve is my best friend. She’s probably worried out of her mind and also maybe mad at me. I should have called her.”

  I rub Leah’s back. “I’m certain she will understand, sweet girl. You were the one kidnapped, not her. You get to process it in your time how you want. She’s not going to be angry.”

  My chest is tight. I hurt for the sweet little girl sitting on the floor trying to decide if she should stay in her little space or get out of it. I don’t want her to switch roles right now. She’s been slowly acclimating so well in the last twenty-four hours. I think it would be jarring and cause her to backtrack. She might even have a panic attack.

  “Do you want Daddy to take this decision out of your hands and tell them we’ll call later?”

  She slowly shakes her head.

  A lump forms in my throat. I’m fucking nervous.

  She pulls in a breath. “No. That’s not fair to Eve.”

  “I don’t care what’s fair to Eve right now, sweetheart. I only care about what’s in the best interest of my little girl. Colton can manage Eve if she’s upset.”

  Leah swallows. “I’ll have to tell her eventually.”

  “Not necessarily,” I propose. As far as I’m concerned she can keep this side of her to herself for the rest of eternity if that’s what she wants. “Right now, this secret is between you, me, and Master Quinten. I would never in a million years expose you to someone without your permission. You haven’t had a chance to fully wrap your head around this space. It’s been one day. I intend to take all my cues from you on this.”

  I stroke a hand down one of her pigtails. “The amount of time you eventually want to spend in this space will ultimately be up to you. Who you share it with will be too. If you decide you don’t want a single person to know, that’s what we will adapt to. I don’t want you to feel pressured to make such an important decision right this moment.”

  She surprises me by coming to her knees and throwing herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me so tight I nearly fall backward on my ass.

  I flatten my palms on her back and chuckle. “What’s this all about, sweetheart?”

  “You. You’re the bestest Daddy in the world.”

  I close my eyes and purse my lips, luxuriating in the fact that she’s indirectly called me Daddy. It’s a giant step. Finally, I find my voice as I stand, lifting her with me.

  She wraps her legs around my waist and holds on tight.

  I’ve never been as emotional in my li
fe as this precious little has made me in the last few days. I’m choked up.

  Finally, she leans back. “I know it will be awkward, but I would never keep this from Eve in the long run, so it’s okay. I’ll face her and get it over with now.”

  “You’re sure?” I cup her bottom, stroking her thighs with my thumbs.

  “Yes, Sir. Will you send her back here? Maybe you and Colton could talk in the living room?”

  “Of course. If that’s what you want.”

  She nods. “Maybe they could stay for dinner?”

  I lift my brows. “Absolutely. Again, your choice.”

  She nods again. “That will give us more time.”

  “Okay, sweet girl.” I pad over to the twin bed and set her on the edge. “I’ll send Eve back here.” I hesitate, cupping Leah’s cheek and then kissing her lips.

  She returns the gesture, cupping my face too. “Thank you for being so understanding and so thoughtful and so perfect.”

  I smile, setting my free hand over hers on my cheek. “I’m not even close to perfect, sweetheart. I will make mistakes. Trust me. But I promise to keep your feelings at the forefront of my mind at all times. Your welfare is the most important thing to me. When I mess up, I’ll apologize.”

  Her grin makes my heart race.

  I stroke her cheek one more time and leave her. I’m so proud of her, but I hope to God this doesn’t upset her or cause her to retreat. She’s doing so well.

  I know I’ve been gone for a long time, and when I return to the living room, Colton’s brows are furrowed. “Craig, we’ll come back another time.”

  I shake my head. “No. You’re fine. Leah wants to see Eve. She’s waiting in her…room.”

  “You’re sure?” Colton asks.

  Eve’s face lights up. Her Daddy is still holding on to her like a racehorse in the gate.

  I nod. “Positive.” I swallow, glancing at Eve, wondering what I should say. Should I prepare her? I don’t know her well enough to know for sure how she’ll react.

  Colton can undoubtedly sense my concerns. He leans over Eve again, speaking to her softly. “You will be kind, understood?”