Stigmata

by L M Adams

  I stand up quickly and move to greet her. If I didn’t know better, I would think she was one of the Blood King’s long-lost children herself. She may be vampiric Bâtardi, they’re rare, but they do exist. Her blood is too muddied to be considered a vampiresa but there is something familiar about her.

  “Jack,” she smiles warmly.

  Either way, she has a ‘warmth’ for supernatural creatures.

  “Nicole,” I reciprocate the light air kisses to my cheeks.

  “How are you?”

  “Just fine,” I turn her, “you remember Lucien, and Kendon.”

  “Of course,” I notice her greeting is more reserved with them than it was with me.

  “After your fitting I need to speak with you about delivery.”

  I nod.

  “But for now, I do have to steal Mr. Knightley away. His wife and daughter wish to see the Mother and Father framed together.”

  Kendon groans, “I just got out of the blasted monkey suit.”

  “Now, now, Monsieur Knightley, no need to disappoint your lovely family.”

  Kendon actually hangs his head, shoulders slumping. He all but drags his feet over to the decanter, takes the entire bottle of vodka and tucks it under his arm.

  “Lead the way.”

  I think he’d be happier to face a horde of gremlins than be pushed and prodded about like a show pony.

  Nicole waves goodbye, “Sebastian will finish out you and Mr. Ramzia.”

  “Of course,” I smile warmly.

  I’m up next and get undressed quickly before I step up onto the platform. Lucien goes back to his book like I don’t even exist.

  No matter, Sebastian is a nice-looking young man and I’ve always been able to entertain myself. Since Lucien doesn’t seem to mind Jaevia and Demetri, perhaps it’s time for me to find my own… companion, a distraction. Perhaps it will help things with Lucien and I – show him that I’m worth claiming any way he can damn well get me. Stop letting this be about his terms and his terms only.

  Sebastian would do to teach the lesson, he’s tall, deep creamy golden skin, dark coloring, midnight bedroom eyes. His smile is easy and more than once he’s flirted with me. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s attracted to me or sees me as a mark.

  He’s something more than human, Bâtardi perhaps? It’s hard to tell with them without sampling their blood. I doubt Nicole would appreciate me feeding on her help, so I’ve resisted.

  Sebastian helps me get on the midnight black Italian silk pants and make sure they lay over my shoes just-so.

  “How do they feel, Monsieur?” He rolls those large expressive eyes up to me and I can’t help that my cock stirs at seeing such a handsome young man on his knees before me.

  I look to Lucien quickly to see if he’s noticed. But he’s so caught up in that fucking book I doubt he’s even spared me a thought since I got to my knees for him this morning.

  When had I become so… forgettable?

  Jaevia’s consorting with Demetri, Lucien’s unwillingness to give me what I want when I give him so much... hurts – it all seems to catch fire in my gut; sparking the anger I’ve been trying to hide from, turning the hurt I’ve been feeling to rage… all fueled by a copious amount of alcohol.

  Before I really think about it, I look down to the young man, licking my lips only a bit and giving him a quick smile, careful to flash my fangs… teasing him.

  “They feel a little tight, on the inseam.” I whisper without really thinking about the implications.

  I’m sure I never really meant to transmit such a lusty invitation. But his hand glides up between my thighs, high enough to graze my package.

  “There seems to be some… swelling.”

  I hum with a smile, “I wonder why.”

  “Capaneus,” Lucien’s voice cracks through the room with a rolling heat and my heart stops.

  I turn my head, a look of horror covering my face I’m sure, as I see him hold up a hand, ready to snap his fingers.

  “Please don’t,” I whisper, voice cracking.

  But the sound comes, and I fall to my knees, pushing Sebastian away.

  I hang my head, adverting my eyes as my heart pounds in my chest.

  “Monsieur?”

  Lucien stands, I feel him stand, I don’t need to see him at all.

  “Sebastian, I will need a moment with my intended, do you have a blanket available?”

  “A blanket?”

  “Yes.”

  “Of course… yes… yes, I’m sure we do.”

  “Please bring it and knock before you enter this room again.”

  Oh god help me… what have I done?

  22

  Jack

  Sebastian leaves I don’t even dare to look at him. I can’t be sure Lucien won’t kill us both right now.

  “Stand up and get undressed, Capaneus, I have no wish to ruin your fine clothes.”

  “Lucien…”

  “This is not the time for disobedience!”

  Please let me explain… I didn’t really mean it, I was just being foolish, I was just testing you. But I don’t say a word as I stand up to get undressed quickly.

  I stop at my underwear.

  “You know better,” He growls with enough heat to scorch my soul.

  My hands shake as I get completely naked for him. I stand, on display, in front of the mirrors still standing on a pedestal I don’t deserve.

  I close my eyes against my own reflection – I sicken me.

  “Legs apart, lace your fingers behind your head.”

  “Yes, Master,” I whisper and get in position for him, stretching my body as much as possible, making sure he has plenty of canvas to color red.

  “Is that another man’s erection… or is it mine? And don’t you dare fucking lie to me.”

  All the air leaves my lungs, “Another man’s,” I whisper.

  “I can’t hear you, Capaneus.”

  “I let another man arouse me,” I admit my shame.

  He leans into me, inches from my face, his lips curl back barring his teeth. “You should have fucking lied.” His whisper is terrifying.

  “Oh god Lucien, I don’t know what happened. Please, you have to listen to…”

  “Shut your mouth!”

  I snap my mouth closed now afraid to breathe.

  If he would just let me explain… please god… goddess… Blood King, Mother Earth… Ra! Whoever will listen – please just let me explain.

  “Get rid of that erection, Capaneus.”

  Of course he asks for the one thing I cannot do. My cock juts out from my body, hard, ready… needy.

  “I can’t,” I whisper pitifully.

  “Why not… or do you still desire that… boy?”

  “I need you to punish me for it,” I whimper low.

  “Or maybe you want him to suck it.”

  I shake my head no.

  “You want him on his knees with your cock in his mouth. I’m sure he would be accommodating, edge it for him, keep it ready for his lips.”

  “Lucien…”

  “I said edge it!”

  I lower a hand begin rubbing my length slowly, hating myself for how good it feels. The shame of it eating me up inside. I have to give him something, I have to prove my love.

  You can do this Jack…. Lucien is worth it, Jaevia is worth it – your chance for a happily ever after is worth it. He deserves to see you destroyed, he deserves to have your body untouched and pure.

  My bottom lip trembles as I make my decision, “Please… please let me cut it off for you,” I beg him.

  “What?” He asks in shock.

  “I’d rather it be cut off than be raped by him, please let me cut it off and then I’ll be pure for you. The new one I grow back; it will be pure and untouched.”

  His sigh is heavy, “Stop, Capaneus.”

  I remove my hand and lace my fingers behind my head again. It hurts, being unmanned… it will hurt for a long time, but I deserve the pain, I deserv
e it for my betrayal.

  There’s a knock at the door. Lucien turns away from me to answer it quickly. I still don’t have the strength to open my eyes, but I don’t feel another presence in the room.

  “Thank you, Lucien.” I cry. “Thank you for not having me raped. I will… I will unman myself… I just need a knife and …”

  Lucien growls low in his throat and my heart speeds faster than any heart of a vampire should beat, “Do you believe I do not know the man whom I’m about to marry?”

  I don’t respond, I don’t know how to respond.

  “Look at me!”

  Thoughts get stuck in the making, words get stuck in my breathing, only fear can shine in my eyes as I look up to him.

  He runs his fingertips up the inside of my thigh and my cock stirs, begging for his touch with still no words being uttered past my lips.

  “You are feeling insecure because the Wench is giving attention to Demetri.” He runs his fingertip up the underside of my cock and my gut tightens.

  “You are vulnerable and nervous about letting me touch in love this evening.”

  I’m going to be sick. I whimper with my longing, my bottom lip trembling with such vicious need.

  “Instead of talking about it, you decide to be manipulative. Create anger in me by flirting with another man in front of my face all so that I can claim you in a most primitive way. All so that you can feed the sickness inside of you. I know well the games you play.”

  He reaches the tip of my cock just as the tears begin to fall.

  “So I ask again… Do you think I do not know the man whom I’m about to marry?”

  “No, Master, I do not think that.” I grit out between clenched teeth as he begins rubbing the tip of my cock, lubricated by my pre-come, so slowly… so fucking slowly I feel like I’ll die.

  “I love you… as you are Capaneus. I know your penchant for aimless flirtations, your desire to top from the bottom, your bratty behavior… I love it all.”

  “Lucien?” I ask confused.

  “Do you really think I would ever wish to see you… undone in that way?”

  “No?”

  He smiles, actually smiles.

  “Jaevia hates your games, I welcome them. I like playing games… it will keep things interesting.”

  “Fuck.” I whimper out in a low whine. He’ll make me regret it. He’ll make me regret it under his own terms. Not undo me to the point of destruction… no, he will spindle our love into the kink and own me without the need of such bloody torture and make me love him all the more for it.

  Stupid fucking Jack, stupid, stupid fucking Jack.

  He leans in closer and kisses my neck so gently. “You are a beautiful man, Capaneus. Do you believe I would not kill another for your love in a fit of unbridled jealousy? Because I assure you that I could and that I would.”

  My mind turns to mush as he strokes my cock again, strong hand wrapped around me with the perfect fucking pressure. For a man who’s just learned touch – none else has ever compared.

  “I’m sorry, Lucien, I’m so fucking sorry.” My bottom lip trembles, the tears fall freely, he’s exposed me with no effort, no real effort at all.

  “I know you are; I know… but you can be sorrier… can you not?”

  I cry out again as I nod, my entire body breaking out into a tremble. Oh Blood King hear my plea, give me grace my Lord, give your son grace.

  “Please don’t make it too bad, Lucien. Please.” I whisper. “I will get my shit together. I swear I will.”

  I can barely stand, my legs trembling and weak. My soul crying out to get down before him and beg on my belly like the snake I am.

  “How can I not, when this is the only way I get to prove my love to you?”

  I am a spider caught in my own trap, I feel the silken tendrils of the web wrap around my body and I know…. there will be no freedom from it.

  He’s gentle as he turns my head towards the mirrors. I advert my eyes immediately, sickened by my own reflection. Lucien is measured and calm as he clears one of the smaller wooden tables off and brings it over to set in front of me.

  “Please,” I beg him low – the sound little more than a grunt.

  “I will give you much aftercare, but you must pay for this behavior. We both know you need to pay for this behavior.”

  He’s unbearably soft as he has me lean over the table slightly, I press one hand flat on the table. It would be better if he were angry at me, at least then I would understand his reaction. But this softness in touch and tone as he prepares me for punishment – it does nothing but confuse my already lost heart, keeping me off balance.

  He steps close to me and runs a single finger down the length of my cock, pressing it down gently until the tip of it rests on the cool wood surface of the table.

  “I’m going to hurt your naughty cock, you know that, don’t you?” He whispers sweetly in my ear.

  I cry nodding as he brings up his other hand to stroke my back gently, soothing me.

  “You are already forgiven; this is about giving you what you need – not punishing you for your own nature.”

  Perhaps I have taught him too much on the subject on mental domination and manipulation. He’s become an expert at sending warring signals to my brain. Say filthy things softly, threaten me with sweetness, promise me pain while touching me gently.

  “Filthy whore.”

  I feel as if the floor has been ripped out from under me all I can do is nod in agreement.

  “Edge your naughty cock for Master.”

  I whimper for him and hang my head, overwhelmingly ashamed as he takes his hand away and I begin pleasuring myself.

  How could I come so close to betraying him?

  How could I risk so much?

  “Look at yourself.”

  I close my eyes tight and shake my head.

  He grabs me by the back of my neck and squeezes tightly. I cry out in pain as he forces me to lift my head.

  “Look, whore.”

  I inhale sharply and open my eyes to watch myself jerk off; I feel as if I’ve been gut-punched.

  There is something sadistically intimate about watching myself punish myself. I can’t escape it. I can’t pretend this is something else, that I am something else. I am forced to stare at the reflection of my truth – I’m a filthy whore.

  Why am I like this? Why am I always so ready to throw everything I’ve ever wanted away?

  Do I self-harm so that no one can hurt me as much as I hurt myself?

  Betray him first, betray her first. Does it make me the victor in a war no one wants to win?

  “I love you, Capaneus,” Lucien kisses my flesh gently as he whispers the words of love I crave to hear, but do not deserve.

  I don’t deserve his love, not after embarrassing him like that. But my body does not understand. He shames me gently as I stroke myself and soon enough, I can no longer hold it.

  “I’m going to come.” I whisper humiliated, so fucking ashamed that I enjoy this. How could I fucking enjoy this?!

  “Go on, I know when a filthy whore can’t help himself.”

  My sack tightens at his words and releases. Pleasure fires through me as my sack empties and white seed spurts onto the shinning wooden tabletop. It feels so good; it feels so fucking good. Yet the better it feels, the worse the sick knot of shame coils in my gut.

  “Don’t stop, I want you to come all you can.”

  “Please Lucien, I don’t deserve to. I don’t deserve your love, this pleasure.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I almost betrayed you.”

  “No you didn’t.”

  I nod crying.

  “You were crying out for attention, and now you’re getting it. I have been preoccupied while you were in need, it is me who has not been a good mate. Come for, Daddy. Show Daddy how much you’ve missed him.”

  My filthy cock comes again with little provocation.

  He takes a finger and scoops up a bit of my white se
ed, bringing it close to my lips. He doesn’t have to order me; I do what is expected and clean up my mess.

  “There’s a good boy.”

  I tremble with pleasure as I suck my seed off his fingertips. My knees feel weak, my entire body turned to putty as he feeds me my pleasure bit by delicate bit. I taste of tears and chocolate but mostly regret. Lucien makes me feel so good letting my own guilt consume me from the inside out.

  “Please beat me.” I cry out finally, unable to stand the onslaught of pleasure any longer.

  “Later.” He promises, his voice deep and soothing.

  “Thank you,” I whisper as he slides another come covered finger into my mouth.

  He makes me give him three orgasms before he calls an end to this gentle shaming.

  “Thank you,” I try to breathe, try to slow my heart rate.

  “Of course, now step closer to the table, stand up straight.”

  I do as I’m told, my thighs press into the table edge, my sack resting softly on the tabletop. He turns away and grabs a belt from the shelf, fine hand tooled Italian leather.

  “Lace your fingers behind your head,” he orders me as he turns back to me, folding the belt in half.

  “Oh god,” I cry and close my eyes.

  “Only five, but if you move away from the table, we start again. You deserve this, we both know you do… accept it.”

  I inhale sharply and nod a hair’s breadth before he brings down the wrath of the gods on my cock and sack with the belt. My scream is sudden, knee-jerking, and high pitched. Pain explodes through my body viciously.

  Master likes cock and ball torture, he likes hurting my man bits. Oh god why didn’t I remember that? Why did I play this game I knew I couldn’t win?

  He breaks me by the third lash and I waiver, oh god I waiver, but if my abused manhood leaves this table, I will have to endure from one again. I can’t, I wouldn’t be able to take it. So I lean into the table and I scream for him to finish it and goddess help me he does.

  “Done,” he says and drops the belt.

  I look at him, tears running down my face, “Thank you.” I’m not sure if I’m thanking him for being done or for doing it in the first place. Some days it is hard to be one such as me.