Stigmata

by L M Adams

  My bottom lip begins to tremble.

  “Jae…. Respect – Via, Veritas, Vita – the way, the life and the truth. My heart knew joy again when you were born.” He inhales sharply, “I’m sorry… that I risked it again for…”

  I throw myself into him, wrapping my arms around him tightly, it takes a moment, but I feel his arms wrap around me tightly and whatever else he needed to apologize for… is already forgiven… because even a Goddess of Night forgives her Poppa on her wedding day.

  I pull back after a moment, he clears his throat awkwardly and flicks the tears from his face, “I had a lot more to say.”

  “It didn’t need to be said,” I smile gently.

  He bows his head.

  “Well then, daughter; your future awaits,” he turns and lets out a short whistle.

  I look into the breaking of the trees and the small field of grass peppered with pretty wildflowers. The sunlight begins to shimmer and from a fold in space, or time… or existence… steps a … black unicorn.

  My heart drops. The magnificent beast walks towards us, black shimmering coat, her horn the deepest black, seeming to absorb the sunlight, magnificent mane, smooth and shining. She stands at least twenty hands tall.

  She absolutely takes my breath away.

  “Da...?” I ask in a whisper as she stops right at the edge of the stone path.

  Her eyes intelligent and bright, the depths of them shimmering with silver dust, reflecting the light of the cosmos.

  “Well, what kind of Poppa would I be if I couldn’t get my princess a ride on a unicorn for her wedding day?”

  I stumble-step forward, closer to her, “… but Da, they don’t exist anymore.” I finally look at my father again, he looks extremely pleased.

  He shrugs, “I know a guy.”

  I smile, “Are you really not going to tell me where you found a flipping unicorn?!” I almost squeal.

  “I cannot daughter, if I could… I would.”

  “Why?” I ask stepping closer and holding out a hand slowly, she seems to be okay with me, so I gently rub her strong nose up to her proud forehead and her strong horn that oddly reminds me of my own horns, as if they were made from the same darkness. Her intelligent ears perk, seeming to recognize me.

  He sighs, “When I was a younger man… which I was some time ago – and I still hunted for the Kindred… there was a rumor of a family of unicorns that still lived…” he whispers sadly.

  “The Kindred wanted them?” I ask looking back at him.

  He nods, “They are filled with the very essence of magic, in touch with it in an elemental of ways, their horns are said to be made from the hearts of the first gods.” He reaches out a hand and brushes her coat, “But such beings are not made for the ambitions of man or monsters, such things are wild and free, and are meant to stay that way.” He levels his eyes on me, and suddenly I realize he’s talking about more than the unicorns.

  “Fate perhaps deigned that I would be the one to find the herd. I came upon them, peaceful and grazing, their spirits seeming to absorb the sunlight around them. Instead of going back to get the others, to tell Nero and Acastus of what I’d found… I decided to approach them. They were not skittish or distrustful of me, and one of the elders even let me touch him. After that I knew…”

  “Knew what?”

  “That this would be the one time I disobeyed Kindred law. Nero wished to capture the unicorns very badly, his desire to increase his magical abilities knew no bounds, I could not be sure of what exactly he thought to do with them, what plans the Kindred had for them. I simply knew I could not see such mighty beasts brought so low. Laying eyes on them for the first time… I just knew it,” he shrugs. “And so, I led my team away from the herd…”

  “You’re a good man, Da,” I smile.

  He shakes his head no, “Perhaps I am just a very flawed man who sometimes does a little good.”

  And in that way perhaps, me and my father are most alike.

  “We shouldn’t keep your future husbands waiting,” he smiles, “go on, she won’t mind.”

  “What is her name?” I look back at her.

  “Ask her, daughter.”

  “What is your name?” I whisper smiling.

  Yasmin, a whispering voice comes across in my thoughts.

  I look to my Da smiling, “She talked to me!”

  He just nods with knowing, a gentle smile on his lips.

  “Can I ride you?” I ask, seeming that it would be polite to ask.

  It would be my pleasure, daughter of Madoc.

  She kneels down, folding her mighty front legs under her, bowing her head. My Da takes my hand and guides me to her side. Even with her kneeling down I need his help to gain the back of this magnificent… animal? I sit to the side and my father takes the time to arrange the train of my dress just so… to drape gently on her flank before Yasmin stands, lifting me high into the air.

  My thoughts and mind are filled with visions of mighty unicorns, their horns adorned with large blades, and on their backs, fearsome warriors. On the back of the eldest unicorn sits a king and I know that king without knowing that king… there sits Madoc, riding a mighty unicorn in the thicket of a battle into the wild hunt.

  The vision narrows and then disappears… “You mean everything my father has ever said, was true?”

  The licorne have always ridden with the winds of the wild hunt and will answer the heart of a daughter or son of Madoc when one wishes to go to hunt.

  “But I am not on a hunt,” I whisper as Yasmine turns and begins walking up the path, with no command or guidance from me.

  “You are a huntress, Jaevia… the world is your prey, never forget what you are… you are a daughter of Madoc ap Uthyr, King of the Wild Hunt… you are my daughter.”

  Being able to call the unicorn isn’t something he could tell me, it was something a unicorn had to show me, as they showed him. Oh yeah, he knows guy… I grin like a fucking loon.

  The licrone, as they are known by their old name, only appear when they really wish so and can move between time and space with only their thoughts, flickering in and out of existence, at times they simply live on the astral plane.

  Not many survived the splitting of the worlds, but it was they who hunted under the moon with the hell hounds of old, with the ones that would carry us into battle when first we decided to separate gods from men, it was us with they who hunted the gods that tried to escape the pull of the sunstone… it was us who would later become reapers. Madoc was their king, a perfect son of Abaddon the Destroyer and through him we became the Reapers, christened with the blood of the three-headed dog – Cerberus. We are the ones who once rode under the wild moon, rode with death between our thighs… would then become the guards of Ra’suá… the three heads of past, present and future – the enforcer, the strategist and the magi.

  My father both elevates me and grounds me with this. Reminding me of all that I am, because with reminding me that I am daughter of Madoc; he also shows me the continuity of life; reminds me of the cycle of death and rebirth – and that having the power to end a thing, does not give you an innate right to wield it.

  My father has always been good at saying nothing, while saying a lot. I cannot help but love him and also give him a lot of credit in the woman I became… the good parts at least. A woman who wishes to do the right things, even if it wasn’t smart, even if her heart is filled with the desire for blood and death as his so often is. A woman who wishes to live with honor and principle and commit to a thing with all of her heart – I wished at one time to be a woman my Da could be proud of – for the very first time I feel like maybe I am?

  39

  Jaevia

  We make our way through the forest, nary another soul to be found. If I ignore the asphalt-paved road, I could believe I’ve been transported to some far-off land, untouched by man.

  As we round another bend… what used to be… or perhaps still is, the conservatory comes into view, and it takes my
breath away.

  We walk into what I can only imagine is a fairyland, something plucked right out of a childhood fairytale… something ethereal and infinitely magical. A large glass dome building bursting with black and white roses covering the metal structure of the building. The sun shining down on it all, as if to bless this place, our union… our love.

  The large doors are thrown open wide and I can see my guests dressed all in white, standing, turned towards me. Both sides of the doors are framed with my wedding party – Némion and Dani on one side, with Frank and Harper on the other.

  I’m still in shock as Yasmin comes to a stop a few feet from the door and kneels again.

  “Oh Da,” I try to fight back my tears, he helps me from the back of the magnificent unicorn.

  “Oh Da,” I say again, simply overwhelmed by everything… I mean, even Némion is smiling, looking gorgeous as all hell in her neck to toe white.

  My father pulls a dark purple hankie from his breast pocket handing it to me.

  “Yes, Jaevia, they really poured their hearts into this.”

  “The warehouse would’ve been fine,” I whine, overcome with gratitude, still feeling unworthy that they would have gone to all of this trouble.

  Even the grounds around the conservatory are manicured to perfection. The green grass cut perfectly, cherry blossom trees in full bloom, white petals floating in the air. I can hear the bubbling of a gentle creek somewhere and the smell of lilacs on the wind with the sound of flittering pixie wings.

  “Only the best for you, Button, only the best.”

  I’m still crying as he turns me and wraps an arm around me, and the photographer takes our picture. I try to hold my head up high and control my emotions, but I’m sure the pictures will show me having a good cry anyway and I don’t really give a shit – a princess is allowed to cry on her wedding day.

  My Da holds out his arm and I loop my own in his, freaking harp music begins to play! My Goddess, what didn’t they think of?

  Némion and Harper, followed by Frank and Dani, turn and begin to make their walk into the conservatory and down the aisle.

  Soon enough, it’s my turn, I take a deep breath and walk forward towards the doors. I keep my eyes trained on Luey and Jack as they stand at the front of the aisle, looking back at me, their eyes filled with so much love – for once, my heart overflows.

  They look gorgeous standing side by side – both of them in all black tuxes, white shirts – a gold and red ascot for Luey and a deep silver and blue ascot for Jack.

  The inside of the conservatory seems to burst with as much life as the outside. Green vines growing on the metal structure of the building, the windows left clear to filter in the sunlight uncontained. Trees and flowers, butterflies and pixies. In the center is a small, but detailed, water fountain with a stone gazebo in front of it that Kitty stands in wearing her white and silver ceremonial robes, Lucien and Jack are in front of the gazebo, waiting for me to join them.

  I finally take my eyes from them as I walk forward into the building. My father and I stop at the entrance, all eyes on us. Either side of the aisle is filled with perfectly dressed guests even a fallen queen on her wedding day seems to garner.

  The women from Camp Haven are here, a number of berserkers, a few of Dem’s crows. Dem is here with Nicole on his arm looking very much pleased with himself. Marcus along with Tricia, who is acting as my ring bearer… or rather, our ring bearer. Tabari of course in front along with my mother. The Doc…. And even Rabbit made it out of the Rabbit hole for this occasion?

  I wonder if he’s charging me hazard pay.

  There are even more people I don’t know, or only have met in passing. Mostly people from Ra’suá, who are probably here at my parent’s behest – publicity is publicity it would seem.

  But the ones who aren’t here also hurt. No Peterus, No Peter, No Valentine; each of their absences for a different reason perhaps, but a lot of it had to do with the fact that I used them up, I used them for all that they had to give. Peterus I’m still using, Valentine decided to push back, and Peter all but declared war. With his absence I lost the support of the wolves, for a moment I let myself wish he and Tala were here… and maybe Annette, I still miss Big Mike, that hurt still hurts and it would have meant a lot to me if she would have come to support me today.

  But then I imagine they all probably think I hate them, that the hurt Peter caused me, the hatred I have for him, transferred to them… and it didn’t, it doesn’t, it never will – at least it wouldn’t have, not today.

  My father takes a deep breath, “All hail, Jaevia Knightley, the new Goddess, the savior of Worlds, the rightful heir to the Kingdom of Monsters – the Eventide Queen.”

  Every person in the building kneels, everyone but my mother and my father, even Lucien and Jack get to one knee and bow their heads. I hadn’t asked them to do this, I hadn’t even known it was in the plans – but then I didn’t know about any of this.

  “Chin up, Button,” my father whispers and gently urges me forward to walk down the aisle as truly a queen.

  I don’t look to the left or the right, I simply focus on putting one foot in front of the other and keeping my composure. Oh goddess, I wish they hadn’t gone through such bother.

  When we reach Lucien and Jack, my heart is still pounding in my chest, like it has been all the while.

  They stay down on one knee, heads bowed. My father pulls back and takes my hand in his, “It is she that makes you worthy to be kings, never let your hearts fill with anything other than love and devotion to your queen, you shall serve her in all things.”

  “We shall serve her in all things,” they whisper in unison.

  “Then stand in her presence and become one with her.”

  They both stand and I give my father one more teary-eyed smile and step away from him, taking Lucien’s and Jack’s outstretched hands.

  Jack gives me a look, urging me to turn around and the harp stops playing. I guess I’m supposed to address the guests as their queen. I really hadn’t prepared a speech or anything, I never really wanted to be queen. Yet perhaps a queen doesn’t get to decide if she is one.

  I turn around slowly and take a deep breath. “Thank you… all for coming,” I say softly, “it means so much that you are here… thank you… please, please stand and thank you for coming.” I stumble through it, but no one seems to mind, probably terrified that I’ll yell ‘off with their heads’ or some such thing a mad queen usually does.

  My simple words seem to be good enough, everyone stands. I turn back around, just completely overwhelmed with everything.

  “You two really went all out,” I whisper smiling, looking between the two of them.

  “Aye well… ‘tis what you deserve, Wench.”

  Jack chuckles low, “For once he was the one being… ‘extra’.”

  I scoff with a smile shaking my head in disbelief.

  Kitty clears her throat, signaling we should begin. She looks gorgeous, her black and gray pepper hair adorned with flowers, her green eyes bright with stolen life, the awesome power of Gaia radiating around and through her.

  Lucien, Jack, and I form a circle, holding hands and the ceremony begins.

  Kitty talks about the splitting of souls and the rejoining of them… “Love is not finite, it is ever changing, ever moving. You will not always love in the same way, with the same depth, from moment to moment and season to season; yet no moment in love is lesser or greater than the other – for love transcends the limitations of our hearts and defines our souls. Do not lose faith in the ebb and flow of life and of love. We often give ourselves over to the bounty of love and yet fear with great terror its ebb; afraid the fire of our hearts will never return. But all things rise from the ash if we but care for them with the same devotion as we did when they were young and new and still unknown. Do not insist on continuity; instead welcome fluidity with the understanding that all things change, and love has the power to grow and change with them. I urge y
ou three to remember these words in your journey as you each grow, and change, and evolve into great beings with even greater destinies.”

  She tilts her head to us, and we all return the act of respect – Kitty is crazy as all hell, but she’s a genius where it counts.

  “Do you, Queen Jaevia Marie Knightley, take these men to your bosom and to your bed of free heart and will to share your life with?”

  “I do,” I whisper, voice shaky.

  “Do you, King Lucien Hari Ramzia, take this woman and this man to your bosom and to your bed of free heart and will to share your life with?”

  “Aye,” Lucien grins, cocky as all hell. I can’t help but laugh.

  “And do you, King Capaneus Nicholas Jackson de la Fountaine, take this woman and this man to your bosom and to your bed of free heart and will to share your life with?”

  “Yes,” Jack whispers and clears his throat, “yes I do,” he says a bit louder.

  “Then I now proclaim you bound in heart, and mind, and body, and soul and charge you to let no other tear asunder your vows today.”

  Jack and Lucien let go of one another as Lucien and I turn to face each other. Tricia steps up with a small black satin pillow, six rings in all laying on top.

  She’s smiling from ear to ear, dragon eyes oscillating pretty hues of pastels, the translucent scales that decorate her cheeks glint in the glass refracted sunlight. She’s dressed in a bit of a low-cut white gown that Marcus wasn’t all together pleased with – he even enlisted Lucien in the argument. But she’s blossoming into a woman, and Poppas have to learn how to let go… sooner or later. Besides, I taught her how to gut a man six different ways, she’ll be fine.

  “Thank you, Tricia,” I whisper.

  “Any time, Auntie Jae.”

  Lucien grunts, “This will be her only time.”

  I sigh, really can’t take him anywhere.

  Tricia fights back her smile as I pick up Lucien’s ring from me, simple, elegant, bound with power and intent. We decided to make them all identical from the outside, black diamonds set in onyx gold. The only difference in each are the words of intent engraved on the inside.