Stigmata

by L M Adams

  As I walk further into the chamber, I undress, keeping my eyes on them as they wait for me, their need to have me beating through my thoughts. He needs me, she needs me… somebody finally needs me, not as their leader and god – but as their man. Just as their man.

  The Wench gets up from the Bloodsucker’s cock as I reach the edge of the large bed. I finish stripping out of my clothes and join them, reaching for Jae, she pulls back.

  “No,” she shakes her head, “lay down.” She motions for me to lay on the bed and I do as she bids, for she is Goddess.

  Capaneus gets up to his knees beside me, his eyes almost glowing purple with the Wench’s powers. I begin to reach up to touch him, wanting to feel him in my hands.

  “No, Lucien, you don’t get to move.” Jaevia orders and I lower my hand slowly, for she is Goddess.

  Capaneus bends to my chest and lays a kiss on the healed flesh where he stabbed me. I feel the power of her transfer through him and into me. I inhale sharply as every fiber in my being is filled with need.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispers gently.

  “I forgive you,” I groan low as he gives me kisses down until he reaches my cock.

  This is the only softness he can give me, not in me touching him, but in him touching me. Why does this have to be so hard between us? Why must I go so long without touching him and having him and holding him?

  I look to Jaevia, confusion filling me, but she only shakes her head no, telling me still that it is not time, and sometimes we have to take what we get when we can get it.

  Much passes between us all without words, and I hate that I still enjoy him even in this way. His tongue and mouth always so good to me, working my flesh and my cock to peak in pleasure.

  The Wench doesn’t touch me at all, only him. She kneels behind him working his cock with her hand and even that I feel pleasure in.

  I feel my soul getting swept away in the pleasure, I had so many words I had wished to speak, so much I had wished for us to discuss… But none of that matters when his mouth is on my shaft and the Wench’s power is riding me.

  Fuck it, I’ll take over the world later – right now, I just want to come.

  I let go of my control a bit… only a bit and get swept away in her majics while enjoying his attentions. Even if it was not exactly what I wanted, it is enough, and I feel the curse settle gently into my flesh once again.

  Ra save me, I need them, I need them so much it aches.

  The Bloodsucker finishes me off with a moan and lies beside me, Jae on the other side of him. The Wench did not peak, I know she believes this is about me and the Bloodsucker. I know that she is doing what she can to help us, I know that, and I appreciate it. But the only thing that is going to make a difference is Capaneus figuring out how to let go of the past enough to embrace the future he claims he wishes with me.

  Yet how can I demand this of him when I too cling to the past so relentlessly? I don’t want to go back to our time, I want to stay here, I want to make this our home.

  I roll to my side towards them, “You didn’t finish.” I murmur looking at my Capaneus, desiring him still. I run my fingertips on the bed, wishing I had permission to touch him.

  “I don’t deserve it,” he lies on his back looking up at me, blue silver eyes pooling with hidden depths. His face dusted with dark hairs, he hasn’t shaved today.

  “I used harsh words as well, things that should not be said to the man I love.”

  Jaevia sighs, “He’s a naughty boy, Lucien.”

  The Bloodsucker’s cock bobs with delight at her words. He needs me to show him I forgive him… and punishing him is doing that. He does not understand forgiveness without pain.

  “I need to make him pay,” I growl low.

  “Yes,” he whimpers, “yes, make me beg…”

  I look to Jaevia, she nods her head and finally I have permission to touch him. I don’t look to do anything other than stroke his cock gently. He closes his eyes and whimpers.

  “Filthy slut,” the Wench whispers and he shudders with pleasure.

  “Yes, Mistress.”

  She nods her head towards me.

  “Maybe you don’t deserve it,” I loosen my grip.

  “Please Master!”

  I stroke him quickly…. Right to the fucking edge… and stop.

  “Fuck!” he screams almost thrashing on the bed.

  “Maybe we’ll never let you come again,” the Wench threatens.

  “No,” he howls low, “please don’t.”

  “You want Master to touch it?”

  “Yes,” he nods, “please yes.”

  I grab his cock again and stroke him slowly, enjoying the expression of pleasure and defeat that plays out on his features.

  “Close!” he screams, grinding his hips to enhance the sensation to his flesh.

  “Always the slut when I’m cruel to you!” I roar.

  He nods, “Please let me, oh I need, please!”

  “Come then…”

  “Fuck!” his body seizes, every muscle locks tightly as his sack empties onto his stomach and chest.

  The Wench uses her finger to wipe up his seed and feed it to him slowly. He loves his filth. Ra help me… how in all the hells am I supposed to make this kind of man want my kind of love?

  95

  Lucien – before the fall

  We lay in bed with one another, our hearts beating together. A moment of peace in the turmoil… yet I have to be honest with them, I must tell them what is in my heart. I cannot demand their honesty and not give them the same in return.

  “Henenu took me to the temple of Ra,” I murmur looking up into the decorative ceiling, trying to figure out how I feel.

  The Bloodsucker props up his head to look at me, “What was it like?”

  I sigh, “Powerful… I felt right there. As if everything finally made sense…it made me want to stay, it made me feel like…” I glance at him, “… maybe I could fix it all.”

  He sighs, but he doesn’t say anything.

  “Do not do that.” I frown at him.

  “What?”

  “Hide your feelings.”

  He huffs and turns around, sliding down to the end of the bed to get up, “You’re accusing me of hiding my feelings?”

  I sit up, “Aye I am. You’ve made it clear you don’t want to stay here!”

  “Then what would be the fucking point in saying it again?”

  “Jack, Lucien!” The Wench shouts.

  I get up from the bed, “No let the Bloodsucker speak! Say what’s in your black heart!”

  He turns on me, “You want to stay here and damn what anyone else thinks or feels about it!”

  “What is so wrong with wanting to be with my people?”

  “We are your people,” he waves between him and Jaevia.

  “That has not changed, that will never change!”

  “Until something better comes along, I’m sure. Something more like you, something more like them!”

  “Why are you in such a rush to go back to your shit life?!” I roar. “A world where they hate our wife?! Yet here she is Kandaka! She would be worshipped as her due. Why do you wish to go back to a world where your own people shun you and a father who molested you?! What is there that is so damn precious to you?!”

  “Lucien…” the Wench starts, “you are the one causing this chaos. He agreed to be supportive, to stay until we found out why you were here. We never talked about staying permanently, and you don’t get to speak for me… I never agreed to stay.”

  I look to her, “You said you liked it…”

  “And I do, and we could come visit often, but my time is my home… this… you know this won’t last. Don’t you?”

  “Why does it have to end?” I look at her laying there naked and beautiful, wishing for her to support me.

  “We cannot meddle with time; we have no idea how it would affect the rest of history… your people will fall.”

  “I do not wish it so!”
r />   Capaneus sighs, “I know that… we know that…”

  “Then why can I not have your support? I have never asked for anything. Only for your love. I have supported you both in whatever you wish in your lives… but I get nothing in return?”

  The Wench sighs deeply, “We aren’t the ones who ruined your home Lucien, we don’t have control over what happened or what will happen. You cannot rewrite thousands of years of history… we cannot use our magic irresponsibly. You know that.”

  “I know that I would do whatever was needed for either of you to have happiness, but I do not get the same… not even a little.” I pick up my pants and turn going to the bathing chamber.

  96

  Jack – Wants to go home

  Jaevia and I look at one another as Lucien retreats to the bathing chamber. His stigmata glowing like burning embers, red and gold ready to ignite into flame.

  “You were right,” she murmurs.

  I nod and go to one of the tables to pour us a bit of wine. I told Jaevia the longer we’re here, the more he’s going to want to stay. Yes, Lucien and I are having a difficult time with our intimacy, but that doesn’t mean I no longer want what’s best for him.

  When gods fuck with time, it brings about cataclysm. We’re not going to let him sacrifice himself for his people. Which is perhaps an odd demand coming from me. I specialize in suffering for my people… and I wouldn’t wish that existence on another person, let alone the man I love.

  I turn back to her, taking her a bit of wine, “We need to find out why his mother ran away with him in the first place, something just doesn’t add up about all of this.”

  I sit on the side of the bed, near her. She rolls to her side and props up her head, sexy as all hell. Full breasts still gently peaked. Hair wild and unrestrained, purple eyes drowsy and filled with the desire she didn’t release.

  “I don’t think there’s anything we can do but wait and see.”

  “Wait until it all blows up in our faces? Sounds like a Jaevia Knightley plan all right.”

  She chuckles, “I have no idea how I qualified as a strategist.”

  “The world may never know; you have horrible plans.”

  “Hey! Some of them work out,” she smiles up at me, “I got you, didn’t I?”

  I bend to kiss her wine flavored lips, “Yes, Mistress.”

  She moans, opening her mouth, letting me taste her a bit. Dark Goddess she’s addictive… I let myself fall into her with complete abandon. Jaevia Knightley owns me.

  The kiss is over far too soon, she pushes me back, “Now go make up with Lucien.”

  I sigh closing my eyes, “We’re just going to end up arguing again.”

  She shrugs a shoulder, “Such is the existence we signed up for… either way, it’s an order.”

  “Yes, my Queen.”

  I leave Jaevia in the bed, when all I want to do is join her and taste her until there’s nothing but her flesh and my flesh and the entire world ceases to exist.

  Being here isn’t so bad when I’m with her.

  But orders are orders.

  I find Lucien in the smaller bathing pool, relaxing in the water.

  “Can I join you?”

  He nods, his eyes are low, hunter’s eyes. Flickering red and gold coins set back in dark flesh. My heart pounds in my chest.

  I take a deep breath and walk forward, stepping down into the almost boiling water, “Fuck,” I hiss.

  “I thought you liked it when I hurt you?” His eyes are glowing with fire, “Sit.”

  I whimper and sit down on the small low bench in the water.

  He stands, the water runs down his dark muscled form… Dark Goddess claim me, “Now tell me you like it.”

  “I like it,” my body is screaming for me to get out of the water, he’s boiling me alive.

  He closes the distance between us, seeming even larger than he’s ever been before. I bow my head, turning my face away, offering him my neck. I’m sitting low enough that his cock is inches from my face, large and threatening. Blood King save me, I want it still.

  “I don’t want to fight,” I look up at him, “I submit, you know I submit. I’ll do whatever you want, even if it means staying here.”

  He growls low, turning away. The temperature of the water lessens, “I do not want you to be supportive because you fear me! I want to be more important than your having power.”

  I shudder as he pulls back his magic, and the water becomes manageable. “That is why you believe I want to go home?”

  He nods and sits back down in the water at the complete opposite side of the pool. As if he had to get away from me before he did something he couldn’t take back.

  “Things don’t feel right. It just doesn’t, I don’t know if it’s about my power being gone or not… the truth is, I’m insecure… not about power… about you with… another man. The loss of my power just makes my jealousy worse.”

  He looks confused, “I do not wish another man…”

  “You say that, but I know your desire to have that kind of sex, it’s become very strong, very heady… and I know you won’t do it with me…”

  “I do not wish another man Capaneus. I want those things with you… you should know me better than this.”

  “I do, but if you’re going to sit there and tell me you don’t feel anything for… or couldn’t, for someone like Nassor, we both know that’s a lie.”

  “I don’t…”

  “I know that you love him! I feel it when you see him. I feel your pleasure and your happiness; I feel it run through my flesh!”

  He nods, “Aye, I love him, he is my brother… but I don’t see him in that sex way.”

  “You mean like how you didn’t see me that sex way either?”

  “Capaneus, you are different…”

  “There is nothing special about me. The longer we stay, the more I feel your pull to be with them… I am nothing like them. He understands you in a way that I can’t.”

  “What in Ra’s name do you think I’ve been offering all of this time?!” He gets up from the waters, “You could learn about me, understand me, if you cared enough to try.”

  “Lucien…”

  He turns away, “Leave me be, I tire of this argument. You are the way that you are.” He grabs a cloth to wrap around himself, “Do not fret, even if I’m trapped in a loveless marriage, I would never betray it… or you.”

  The door to the baths closes over my heartache.

  I sit in the water for a long time before I gather my courage and get out from the water, refusing to hide away in the bath. Lucien swears I’m the only man he wants yet he hasn’t fucked me since our honeymoon.

  Since we’ve been here, I’ve felt his desire for male flesh only intensify, yet I’m to believe it has nothing to do with Nassor?

  I’m not a fucking fool. I’ve seen their looks, the way they embrace. Those sly glances Nassor gives me.

  It’s fine if he wants another, but it’s not okay to lie to me about it. He wants me to believe it’s all about one word… consent?

  He doesn’t make Jaevia say words before he takes her and loves her. I’ve watched him hold Jae down and ruin her with his cock and she’s never had to give an ounce of consent for it. Why is it so fucking different with me?!

  Maybe if he gave me what I needed but once, I could put it away and let myself love him like he needs. Why is his way better than mine? What gives him the right to decide that for me?

  A loveless marriage? I’ve trapped him?!

  How can he think these things?

  Yes, perhaps, Jaevia is right, I’m not being as supportive as I should be about him being home. I know he’s happy to be here, I know that he needs this.

  I’m getting frustrated with my own feelings, but I can’t make myself stop feeling them and I can’t hide it! Perhaps in a normal marriage I could hide the way I feel but there is no privacy in our marriage. If I’m sad, they know it – angry, they know it – being a jealous shit, they know it
.

  Lying is wrong, but sometimes it’s necessary, to spare a person’s feelings, or to keep the peace. But I’m not even allowed a bit of subterfuge because my heart is all open and everything I think or feel or want feeds into our shared energy.

  Maybe there’s some way they can just send me home on my own, so I don’t ruin it for him. Maybe that would be best, and he can be how he wants to be and love who he wants to love without the dark cloud of my presence hanging over him. I wish I could be different, but I cannot be what I am not.

  I decide to think on this for a bit longer, and maybe bring it up later tonight. Problem is, I’ll be absolutely crushed if they let me go home without them. I need to be important in their lives, I need them to ache to have me in their arms – I need them to love me like I love them… desperately.

  Lucien and Jae are sitting by the fire in the bedroom, drinking wine and whispering, they quiet down when I walk in.

  No surprise there, probably trying to figure out a way to make me the way that they want me instead of accepting the way that I am.

  “How are you?” Jae stands up with a worried expression.

  “I’m emotionally upset,” I move over to the pile of clothing on the bed, admitting my weaknesses freely because if I don’t, I’ll get punished.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing worth discussing again, may I get dressed?”

  She sighs but moves away, letting me turn back around to pick through the clothing.

  “Guess we’ll have to deal with a bad attitude tonight,” Lucien mumbles.

  I turn, ready defend myself and my feelings. So fucking what I’m not being their perfect little slave?!

  “He has every right to feel the way he wishes to feel, Luey.” Jaevia cuts in trying to head off our argument.

  She looks at me, “Please, can you try? We are trying here, please Jack.”

  I look at them and still know that is where my heart is, I want things to be how they were between us, I want to be better, I want to be here for them… I know that I do.

  “I can try,” I nod.

  Lucien looks at me, and I know he doesn’t believe me.