Stigmata

by L M Adams

I hold Lucien’s burning gaze, “I have done great evils, Lucien, yet you found something redeemable in me. Is it so odd that Anubis may have been a different kind of man with your father? A man your father could have loved?”

  Jae nods, “We know that Azazael stood with mankind during the fall… we know that there was some sort of love in his heart.”

  “Yes,” Sepa agrees, “as there was great love between Apedemak and Anubis.”

  “He is still a dark prince!”

  “And do my sins erase the goodness as well?”

  “Do not do this!” Lucien roars, “Do not make yourself seem as if you are the same as him, you are not! You are my Capaneus.”

  His voice cracks with fear, because Lucien has a logical mind, he’s putting the pieces together if he wants to or not… His parents, along with Anubis, were an eventide trio and his mother sent him to the future for Jaevia… and for me, even as evil as I am.

  He turns away frustrated and strides down the stairs to the gardens.

  Jaevia looks at me intently, “Go,” she nods her head to the gardens.

  The night is nice, even if Lucien’s entire world is falling apart… the weather is good. The night sky above twinkles and Neoma is brilliant in the sky.

  Still, I miss her power.

  I find the Beast standing near the largest tree of the garden, the same tree I knelt and prayed at when I’d lost him.

  “All you do is confuse my heart,” he whispers, not turning to face me.

  “I know,” I stop a few feet away, unsure of how he’ll react to me being here.

  “I never know what to love or to hate with you. Even my body is not my own when you touch it. You confuse everything that I am.”

  “I know…”

  “Yet I still crave your touch, your madness. I do not understand the things that I feel…”

  I smile a bit on the inside as I close the distance between us. He turns to look at me, his eyes glistening in the moonlight with unshed tears.

  “You shamed me deeply, Capaneus.”

  “I’m sorry…”

  He shakes his head, “No, I know that I deserved it. I should never hit you in anger that you do not deserve.”

  “I’m sort of used to paying for other people’s sins.”

  “But I do not wish that with you.”

  “It’s okay, Lucien – honestly. I’m here any time you need me, but I will have my vengeance if I believe you are treating me unfairly.”

  A shudder runs through him, “Yes, Capaneus, you have this right.” He looks away, his voice dropping, “When you do those things… I think I might hate you and then I think I might love you. I do not know what to love, I do not know what to hate. You confuse me so much.”

  I sigh and step closer, “You will never have to choose one or the other with me. You can hate me… love me… and hate me again.” I murmur low as I cup his face, “Submit.”

  “Please, Capaneus…”

  “Submit,” I lean into his supple lips.

  I am a descendant of the forked tongues, of Azazael and Set and Anubis… gods of darkness and death and I am their son… yet I am also the son of Keb and Isis, I am a son of life. Both sides of my heart have always known that war but I’m beginning to understand it… I am a Blood Lord – I was made for such things.

  He opens his mouth for me and I slide my tongue into the heat of his mouth to taste the honey flavor of him. His large body shudders as he submits to my dominance.

  Lucien a son of Ra – the Raja and King of the Atums… submits to the forked tongue devil. I grab his cock through his pants, and he sways on his feet.

  When I pull back, he whimpers and leans his forehead to mine, touching our third eyes together, “Say it.” I order him low.

  “Obedience brings pleasure,” He trembles, and I begin unlacing his pants.

  “Does the Beast want pleasure?” I pull his cock free.

  He moans low nodding, “Tell me what you wish of me, Capaneus.”

  “Get Henenu to call Sepa’s petition in the Divine Council,” I whisper getting to my knees for him. “You will be obedient?”

  “Yes, Capaneus.” He whimpers as I suck his cock into my mouth.

  I am a forked tongue devil and I use that tongue on the man I love. Dark Goddess forgive me.

  145

  Jack - Sepa at the Divine Council

  The Council meets in a large circular chamber located on the Ishtar side of the palace. It is a nice room, an ocular ceiling that shines the light down into the center seal within the slab, the eight-point star of Ishtar… she would have sat as High Queen, even here in Apedemak’s domain.

  I glance at Jaevia, maybe I should have manipulated her into taking up my cause as well… I already feel guilty as shit for what I’ve done to Lucien, why not betray them both? A two for one ticket to hell.

  Goddess please, let this have been the right decision.

  The primary council seats at the table in the front of the room are occupied by the strongest tribes. The Atums, Isis, Ishtars, Sekhmet’s – but there is a voice allowed for the smaller tribes, like the Bastets, the Noks and the Me’tangua. Each council member is a steward of the peoples, a spot that would have been held by the primary god of that tribe at one time.

  Henenu invited Lucien to take his father’s seat as the god of the Atums, Lucien had not so politely declined. He doesn’t want anything more to do with the people and he’s made that clear.

  The old tutor seems haggard as he sits in the center of the half arc table. He says he’d planned on confessing all to Lucien, I’m just not sure when; either way, I doubt Lucien will ever forgive him for keeping the truth secret.

  Lucien is doing this all for me and because perhaps some part of him believes that this is the right thing to do… I hope so at least.

  Jaevia, Lucien and I sit in on the meeting, in the rear of the stone stadium seating, at the back of the council chambers. Except for us, and Sepa, there is no one here but the council members.

  Henenu demanded that this be a closed session. I understand why. He doesn’t want the people to know that all of their majic comes from the stolen souls of the nosferatu.

  It would tip the scales of power… power that belongs to Sepa and her people.

  Henenu uses the majic and manipulates it… he also uses it to prop up Apedemak’s psyche on the Solstice every year. Repairing the mind of a god takes a lot of power which is why Apedemak’s tower now sits cold and dead. It will take time for the souls of the nosferatu to carry power back from the trapped gods on Ra’suá.

  I’m sure Ammut is hungry, waiting for more souls of the nosferatu children to feed upon.

  Henenu calls for Sepa to step forward, she walks slowly into the center of the room. She stands proudly on the seal of Ishtar, the hood of her red cloak pushed back. The scroll in her hand her only weapon, her head held high, her eyes silver and flashing with red; hair long and dark, skin the color of sun-kissed almonds.

  I glance over at Jae, she’s almost at the edge of her seat. I wonder if she sees here what she wished her rule to be, a government – I hope she also sees how corrupt a government can become given enough time and proper motivation.

  The cynic in me knows full well that they won’t release the spirits of the nosferatu. They are the last connection to the gods, to release their souls would bring about an end to the people’s way of life. Yet still, some small part of me… hopes.

  Hope, such a dangerous thing. I learned very young how vicious it could be as I hoped he wouldn’t call me to his office, and I hoped that my mother would love me enough to put a stop to the abuse. How much I hoped I’d be strong enough to stand up to him one day and I hoped Matthias and Ariella would be by my side. I hoped for a wife and I had hoped for a child and I hoped for a husband who understood my darkest heart.

  I had hoped.

  Hope had hurt me worse than any whip I’ve ever known across my flesh.

  Henenu is sitting at the middle of the semi-circle desk, in
what I assume would be Apedemak’s place. On either side of him the elders of the tribes; Nyrobi and Malia. The others I don’t know but in all there are thirteen of them, an unholy number… or perhaps holy; depends on your interpretation, I guess.

  I do notice that no seat is set above another, not even the seat of the all mighty Apedemak, or what’s left of the last true god among them – the seat Lucien should hold. All of them sitting there now are only husks of what they should be.

  I didn’t understand how less they were until I realized how much more they should be. We are all less than what we were.

  Henenu, as the scribe and teller, the keeper of the ways of Thoth, bangs a round metal ball into the smooth slab of marble three times, calling the session to order.

  “The Divine Council sees and will hear from Ankhsepuntepet, the lady of Royal Blood,” Henenu says simply, his voice flat.

  He tried to keep Lucien from putting her name on the lists… but I simply have more influence over Lucien, I got to my knees so that she could have a voice and a chance to speak – use it well sister.

  Sepa inhales deeply, “My most honorable and divine council – I stand here today a simple being with a simple request. Fulfill the promise of Ra. We have served until our twelfth and thirteenth generations, we have paid the debt of blood… now give us rest. Do not force us to live apart from our souls; let our kind be born, and live, and die whole; as one with our Akh, and Ba and Ka – we are not meant to be living things without our Akh.”

  “And what evidence does the Lady bring to prove the debt paid?”

  “I bring the scroll of my family generations; I am the twelfth descendant of Set the first, son of Azazael, grandson of Nuit.” She walks forward and hands the scroll to Henenu.

  He sets it down on the table and looks over to the rest of the council, “I suggest that we recess for the day so that I, and the rest of the Divine Council have ample time to review this information, meditate, and come to a fair ruling, all in favor?”

  More likely so Henenu can pressure the other members of the council to rule in favor of keeping the status quo.

  They fall like dominoes.

  Crooked is as crooked does.

  What a waste …

  146

  Jack – Broken Promise

  It’s close to dinner when we receive a message; Henenu has asked to meet with us, along with Sepa.

  I already know it will not be good news. If the people need the Spirit Seal to hold on to the power they have there is no way they’re going to give it up.

  We meet in the receiving room of our chambers. I sit next to Sepa in one of the settees. She holds herself proudly, head held high, hands folded in her lap as she looks as the old tutor… he can’t meet her eyes as he tells us the council decision.

  “By the counting of the people, only one generation has passed. The god-king Apedemak still lives, he is the son of Horus.”

  “What?’ I whisper lost.

  “It is a debt to the people; it will be a counting by the people…” He sighs and finally looks at Sepa, “I know that this was not the outcome you wished…” Henenu says softly.

  “I have no wish but for your people to keep their word to mine,” Sepa says simply, back ramrod straight, eyes fierce. In this moment I see the queen in her.

  “The intent of the curse was clear…”

  I stand up, filled with righteous anger suddenly, “No one is disputing that; it is the duration that we are calling into question. You’re using magic from their sacrifice to prop up your god and extend their sentence! How long do your people plan on my punishing mine?!”

  “Capaneus… please, be calm.”

  I turn on Lucien, “Do not tell me to be calm! They are wrong and you know they are wrong.”

  “My Lady,” Henenu whispers, pleading in his eyes, “the truth is, we are holding on by a thread. The sacrifice of your people is that thread, to cut it would bring about the end of us. Without a Raja, a true Raja – the connection your people provide to the old gods, to Horus and Atum, are all that we have. You are children of the great giver. I ask for you to be the givers that we need.”

  Jaevia sighs, “Perhaps there is some compromise…”

  Sepa stands looking at Jae, “There can be no compromise as long as they enslave my people. We have believed the lie for long enough! We believed the greatest lie… that suffering was a sacred thing. No more.”

  Jaevia looks at Sepa for a long moment and nods, “Any bargain made would be unfair while they hold your souls captive.”

  Sepa looks back at Henenu, “You give us no choice, how can we give you our love?” She turns to look at Lucien, “I had hoped you would be a worthy king, a Raja that I could worship and love. You have the power to set us free with a word, it was Anubis that gave the seal to Apedemak, it is yours by birthright… if you have the courage to claim it. Will you give us that word, my Raja?”

  I look to Lucien, waiting for that goodness, that deep sense of honor to force him to act.

  “I am not the Raja.”

  I cannot fucking believe this! “Are we all really standing here and telling this woman, sorry to enslave your people but there isn’t anything we care to do about it?!”

  “Let us talk outside,” Lucien says softly

  I don’t want to talk anymore, I want them to set my people free – but they won’t… because they can’t, because it would mean stripping everyone left on earth of their magic. It would mean the end of the commune between gods and man.

  Somewhere in my heart, I knew that this wouldn’t end well for the nosferatu. Somewhere I knew the answer was always going to be no.

  But I’d dared to hope.

  Fool I am.

  He leads me out to the patio.

  “Capaneus, we cannot get any more involved. My mother was clear… I do not belong here, we must go home.”

  “Lucien,” I whisper and get to my knees bowing my head, “I am begging you.”

  “Do not do that, do not use your wiles on me…”

  “Wiles?” I look up to him… confused, “You think I’m trying to trick you?”

  “I’m not a fool! You think I do not know what you did to me last night? You broke me, used me, manipulated me… I let you because I love you! But I cannot let you interfere any longer!”

  “Okay, Lucien,” I look up to him from my knees, “okay, but I’m not trying to trick you now… right now, I’m begging you.”

  “Why are you letting them use you?!”

  “Use me?”

  He nods, “Aye! I think they are using you and what I feel for you, manipulating you into doing their bidding. They had no right to ask you to get involved. You are my husband you had no right to get involved with these matters, that is not your purpose here!”

  A wild rage fills my heart, “I am more than your pet fuck-boy!”

  “Capaneus… I did not mean…”

  “Me, Lucien! Your husband. I am asking you to do what is right! What was promised! What is fair! I shouldn’t have had to manipulate you in the first fucking place. Your people are wrong!”

  “I do not care!” Lucien roars at me.

  “You don’t care that your people are enslaving mine?!”

  “It is not enslavement; they have a duty – we all have a duty. They will be set free when their debt is paid.”

  “And who gets to decide when that made up number is done?! It has been seven generations for them, just because your mother and father extended their lives doesn’t mean the children of Azazael should be held to that accounting.”

  “You do not get to decide this! You are not king here.”

  “And where is your king?! Trapped in a dark basement, a victim of his own mind because he wasn’t strong enough to hold on to what he had! He is not fit to rule!” I heave with my rage, knowing that I have said too much, cut too deeply.

  “He mourns my mother,” Lucien whispers. “As I would mourn for Jaevia… and even you Capaneus. Because a life without the two of
you would not be worth living.” Lucien straightens up, “But perhaps a man such as you would not understand that kind of love. Maybe you only know the kind of love that makes you cry in the darkness.”

  And he slices me apart just as I have bloodied him.

  “Perhaps I don’t, Lucien. Perhaps I never will… but I know the pain of my people and I know now that they don’t deserve it. This curse was supposed to be done generations ago and yet in my time… in our time, my people are still cursed? So you say he will be fair, they will be fair. When Lucien? Because three thousand years from now you still keep our souls in bondage.”

  He looks at me, his red and golden eyes filled with pleading, “I do not wish this for you Capaneus, nor any of your people…”

  “Then do something about it.”

  “I cannot,” he shakes his head, “the council has spoken…”

  “Then be a fucking king.”

  “And stand against them? Stand against my own people?”

  “If you know what they are doing is wrong, then yes!”

  He sighs and looks away, gazing out into the garden.

  “You don’t believe what they’re doing is wrong,” I whisper, knowing it to be the truth.

  “I do believe it is wrong… but,” he looks back at me, “it is necessary.”

  “What?”

  “The people must remain connected to the gods, our future, the future of all peoples relies on this.”

  “I cannot believe…”

  “This is not their fault! I know this is not fair! Not to your people or not mine. It is the Kindred who broke faith. New gods should have been chosen by now, the ascension should have happened! The people are only trying to survive… they are fighting for their survival.”

  “But at what cost?”

  He sighs deeply, “At times, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…”

  “… and in times of war the law falls silent?”

  He nods, “I will find a way to make this up to you, to your people Capaneus. Welcome them back into the arms of Atum, make them one with us again… we will find a way to thank them for their sacrifice. I will beseech Apedemak myself…”