Baby I’m Yours

by Elks, Carrie

  “You’re not supposed to cry at a baby shower,” Caitie whispered in her ear.

  “Did you do all this?” She turned to her friend. “Thank you,” she said, her voice cracking. “I wasn’t expecting to see so many people here.”

  “We could have had more but I didn’t want to overwhelm you,” Caitie told her as she led her inside. It took a while for them to reach the table at the front of the hall, as everybody wanted to hug Harper and tell her how beautiful she looked. “You’ve made a lot of friends since you arrived in Angel Sands.”

  As they reached the table where Louise was sitting, she stood and hugged Harper tightly. “Thank you for inviting me,” she said, a huge smile on her face. “I’m so excited to be here.”

  “Thank you for coming. It means a lot to me.”

  “Is your mom planning on joining us?” she asked.

  Harper shook her head. “She couldn’t make it.” It was only a little lie.

  “Maybe we’ll meet her after the baby is born,” James’s mom said, shrugging. “And in the meantime, I’m happy to fill any grandmotherly duties you might need.” She hugged Harper again. “Maybe we can go for coffee next week?”

  Harper nodded. “I’d really like that.”

  “It’s a date. Now go and enjoy your shower.” His mom sat down. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

  “So we’re not doing any games, just like you requested.” Caitie slid her arm through Harper’s and led her over to her table. “We’re going to have some music and dancing, and of course lots of food. Just a lovely few hours where you can talk to everybody you know and have a good time.”

  “And get lots of gifts,” Ally said, grinning as they reached the table. “And I made you a blueberry muffin cake. It’s awesome if I do say so myself.”

  “Where is it?” Harper asked, looking around. “Gimme.”

  Caitie laughed. “You have to wait. First let me introduce you to a couple of people. This is Ember’s sister, Chelsea. She’s visiting the new baby and we invited her along. I hope that’s okay.”

  “Of course it is.” Harper leaned forward to hug the girl who looked uncannily like a younger version of Ember. “Congratulations on becoming an aunt.”

  “Thanks.” Chelsea winked. “It’s been a lot of work.”

  “It will be.” Ember laughed. “When I get you to babysit. You’re going to love changing his diaper.”

  Caitie shook her head. “And this is Aria. She’s not here for the shower, but she heard you were coming and I promised to introduce you. She runs the resort boutique.”

  “Hi.” Aria walked over to where Harper was standing, a huge smile on her face. “I’m so excited to meet you. When Brooke told me you were the one responsible for those gorgeous dresses I keep seeing I asked for an introduction. I’m hoping you’ll take my business card and call me tomorrow. I’m interested in stocking your designs.” She passed Harper a thick embossed card.

  “For the boutique here?”

  “For all of our boutiques across the country. Silver Sands Resort is part of a larger chain, run by Carter Leisure. We like to work with designers to create exclusive ranges that our customers will love. I’ve sent details of your work to our lead buyer, and she’s really excited about them. We have a big fashion show coming up next month, and she wants to talk to you about exhibiting your work there.”

  “Really?” Harper looked at the business card. “That sounds great.”

  Aria smiled. “Let’s talk more tomorrow. In the meantime, have a wonderful shower. It looks like your friends have done an amazing job.”

  “I will. Thank you again.” Harper turned to Caitie with wide eyes as Aria walked across the ballroom. “Did you hear that?” she asked, a slow smile breaking out on her face.

  “Every word,” Caitie said, her eyes just as wide. “That’s so amazing, I can’t believe it.” She hugged her tightly.

  “Nor can I. After everything that’s happened this year, it feels like my life is finally turning around.” Was it possible to have it all? The baby, the man, and the career she’d always hoped for?

  For the first time in forever, she was beginning to think it was.

  * * *

  James was pulling his car into the Silver Sands Resort parking lot when his phone began to ring. The sun was slowly slipping down the sky in a riot of pinks and oranges, the silhouetted palm trees casting long shadows across the concrete as the daylight sang its last goodbye. He parked in a space next to the entrance and picked the phone up, frowning as he saw who was calling.

  Alice Murray. Sara’s sister.

  “Hello?”

  “James. How are you? We haven’t heard from you for a while;. Mom and Dad were starting to worry.” Just hearing Alice’s voice made his breath catch in his throat. It was so similar to Sara’s.

  “I’m fine,” he told her. “There’s no need to worry about me. I’ll try to call them this weekend.”

  “They’d love that. We talk about you a lot. And about Sara and Jacob, of course.” Her voice lowered. “I still find it hard to accept they’re gone sometimes. I guess it must be the same for you, too.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offload on you. I worry about you. I think about you roaming around in that big house with all of its memories and it makes me want to cry. I don’t know how you do it sometimes.”

  He swallowed, even though his mouth was dry. “It has been hard,” he said. It wasn’t a lie. Just because his life felt easier – lighter – now, didn’t mean he hadn’t gone through the darkness to get here.

  “So I was just calling about next month. We were planning on flying to Angel Sands next month for the anniversary. Mom and Dad want to visit their graves, and to see you, too. I wanted to check your schedule to see if you’d be working on Saturday the twelfth.”

  Anniversary. James blinked, and let out a mouthful of air. How the hell had he forgotten about that? Three years since he’d sat by Sara’s side and watched her die. Three years since he’d watched two coffins lowered into the ground.

  What kind of man was he?

  “The anniversary’s three weeks away.”

  “I know.” She was always so gentle, the way Sara had been. “I’m sorry for the late notice. Mom was planning to discuss it with you when you called. I can’t believe it’s been three years.”

  “The twelfth is fine,” he told her. “I’ll be around. Are you planning on staying the night?”

  “I don’t think so. We’ll probably fly back that evening. Dad doesn’t like sleeping in any bed that’s not his, and I’m concerned it may all be too much for Mom. Maybe we can have dinner before we leave. I hear the new resort is up and running. Or we could go to Delmonico’s on the pier. Sara always loved that place.”

  James looked up at the resort in front of him. The front door opened and a group of young women walked out, smiling and laughing as they made their way down the stairs. His stomach contracted when he realized they could be from the baby shower. With Alice on the phone it was like his past and future were trying to collide.

  “We’ll go to Delmonico’s,” he said firmly. “I’ll call and make a reservation. Send me your flight details and I’ll pick you up from the airport.”

  “Are you sure? We can rent a car.”

  “I’m sure. I’ll be there.”

  “Thanks, James. It’ll be good to see you again. And maybe we can find some happiness in talking about the old times.”

  “I’ll see you on the twelfth,” he said, wanting to end the call as soon as possible. He didn’t like the way his old and new life were colliding. “Don’t forget to send me those flight details.”

  “I won’t. In a weird way I’m looking forward to it.”

  Yeah, he thought as he ended the call and slid his phone into his pocket. Well that made one of them.

  As he headed up the steps to the main hotel and walked through the door, he tried to put the thought of Sara’s family out of his mind. Maybe it
had been a mistake to offer to pick up Harper and bring home all the gifts from the party, but it felt wrong to expect her to do it by herself. She was six months pregnant and there was no way he wanted her lifting things. That was his job. But as he pushed the door to the ballroom open he didn’t like the way people turned to look at him, either. Even though the shower had finished, there were still a lot of people mingling around. He pressed his lips together and tried to ignore their interested gazes.

  There was only one person in this room he was concerned with, anyway. Or two if you counted their baby.

  His eyes were drawn to her. She was standing with Caitie and Ember, one hand on her bump, the other reaching out to tickle baby Arthur under his chin. He swallowed as he watched her lips curl into a smile. Christ, she was beautiful. A beacon of light that refused to be dulled, no matter how many arrows life slung at her.

  “James?” his mother said, touching his arm. “I didn’t know you were coming. I was just leaving and I saw you walk in.”

  “Hey, Mom.” He smiled at her. “I offered to bring all the gifts home.”

  “To Harper’s place?” she asked. “I heard she’s just moved into a new apartment. Is she going to store everything there?”

  He shook his head. “We’re going to store everything in my spare room for now. Harper’s still unpacking.”

  “Oh.” His mom paused for a moment, then smiled. “She’s a very lovely girl, isn’t she?”

  “Ah, yeah.”

  “Have you thought about having her live with you after the baby is born?”

  The bluntness of her question shocked him. “Ah…”

  “I mean in the spare room,” she said quickly. “I wasn’t implying anything more than that. I know you miss Sara and Jacob very much.” She rubbed the top of his arm. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”

  Yeah, it was none of her business, but he wasn’t planning on telling her that. Fact was, he had no idea what they were going to do about the future. That was his fault – he still couldn’t bring himself to tell Harper how he felt. Maybe he was too afraid of being rejected. Better to keep his thoughts to himself than open himself up to that pain.

  “I should go over and say hi to Harper. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Giving his mom a soft smile, he leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

  She squeezed his arm. “Okay, honey. Take care.”

  He took a deep breath, trying to center himself. Why was life so much easier when it was just him and Harper curled up in his bed? When her body was pressed against his. With her soft hair caressing his skin, it felt like he could take on the world. And he would, just to protect her from it. Her and their baby.

  Ember said something, and Harper nodded. Slowly, she turned her head, a smile breaking out on her face as she noticed James standing across the room. She lifted her hand in a wave, and he smiled at her, walking over to where she was standing.

  “Hi.” His voice was husky. He had to curl his hands not to touch her. “Did you have a good time?”

  “Hey.” She lifted her head until her eyes met his. “It was wonderful. Thanks for coming. There are a lot more gifts than I was expecting.” She pointed over at the table, filled with gift bags and large boxes. She leaned forward to whisper in his ear, “Does a baby really need all this stuff?”

  “Yeah,” he said, deadpan. “That’s why they had baby showers in prehistoric days.”

  “My apartment isn’t that big. With all these things in there I’m going to end up sleeping in the bathtub. Do you think the baby will mind sleeping in the sink?”

  He laughed.

  “Harper, we’re heading out. Thank you so much for inviting us, and remember to send us all the deets when the baby is born.” A woman of around thirty leaned forward to hug her. “I can’t believe you’re gonna be a mom.”

  “Thank you for coming all this way. It means a lot,” Harper said, hugging her friend back. “Um, this is James, by the way. The baby’s father. James, this is Monica. We met when I was working on Broadway.”

  James blinked. For some reason being described like that rankled him. He wasn’t just the baby’s father. He was Harper’s lover, her friend. Why the heck wasn’t there a socially acceptable description of what they had going on?

  Monica turned to look at him, her glossy black hair catching the light from the chandeliers. “Hi, James,” she said smiling. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  “You, too.” He shook her hand. Harper was looking at him with the strangest of expressions. Was he still frowning? “I’ll start loading the car,” he told Harper. “Then we can head home.”

  “To your home.”

  “That’s what I meant.” Damn, he was terrible at this. Maybe he shouldn’t have come. Harper’s friends could have easily delivered the gifts themselves, or he could have picked them up in the morning.

  “Okay. Thanks.” She was still gazing at him with concern. “Let’s get this thing done.”

  21

  “You okay?” James asked, turning over to look at Harper. She was turning from side to side in his bed, groaning as she slid her knees up to her bump and then back down again.

  “No, I’m not. I can’t get comfortable. I swear this baby is practicing Tai Kwon Do in here.”

  He smiled at her frustrated expression. “What can I do to help?” he asked softly.

  “You can’t do anything; you’ve done enough already. It’s all your fault for putting her in there in the first place.”

  He tried to bite down a laugh, but it was futile. She was so damn cute when she got riled up. “You want me to give you a back rub?”

  “Can you rub my calves? They keep cramping up and every time I try to rub them this damn belly gets in the way.”

  “Sure.” He slid down the bed, rising to his knees as he gently took her leg between his hands. Her skin was soft and smooth, still clinging on to a light tan. He ran his fingers over her calf, pressing his thumbs down to ease the muscles.

  “You’ve got a couple of knots in there,” he told her, circling the pads against the tight muscles.

  “I know. Ahhh… Jeez, I think you got it.” She let out a sigh. “Does it get better? Tell me it gets better. I’m sick of every part of my body aching.”

  “You need to slow down. This is your body telling you it’s time to take care of yourself. You can’t keep working from seven in the morning until eight at night without rest.” He took her other leg and placed it on his knee, sliding his thumbs along it until he found another knotted muscle.

  “You can talk all you want. You work longer hours than me.”

  “But I’m not thirty-two weeks pregnant,” he said lightly.

  “Why is that?” she asked him, lifting her head from the pillow. “How come guys get all the good stuff?”

  It was really hard not to smile at her. “Some people think pregnancy is the good stuff.”

  “Yeah. People who aren’t pregnant.” She huffed. “Can you rub my feet now?” she asked him. “I know it’s gross, but every time I stretch them they hurt.”

  “Sure, baby.”

  She was firmly in the third trimester now, less than two months away from giving birth, and she’d never looked more glorious. Sometimes he came home from work and stared at her as she leaned over her sewing table, watching the way her brows pinched together as she concentrated on a design.

  He was becoming addicted to the way she made him feel. Warm and strong and alive. His favorite part of the day was lying behind her as she slept, cupping her abdomen with his hand and feeling their baby kick against it. During those moments – when only he and the baby were awake – he felt like their protector. It was his job to make them safe and comfortable, and he was determined to do it right.

  “I can’t slow down, anyway,” she told him as he rolled his thumb along her instep. “I’ve got too much to do. I have a fashion show in a month’s time and a huge order to fill for Carter Leisure. I’ve had to turn down ten Etsy orders this week.”

/>   “Maybe you should think about getting some help.”

  She sighed. “I’ve thought about it, but I’m not established enough yet. The clothes placed in the boutiques on a sale or return basis, which means I don’t get paid until a customer buys them. I need regular cash flow to employ staff, and I won’t have that for at least six months. And in the meantime, I have rent to pay and a baby to provide for. There’s no way I can slow down until I give birth.”

  “You should move in here.” The words came out so casually. Although, they didn’t feel casual. They felt like he was taking a can opener to his heart. But he’d been thinking about it ever since she’d moved into her apartment. Trying to work out a way to ask her.

  She lifted herself up on her elbows, her brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

  He ran the tip of his tongue along his bottom lip. “I mean you could give up your apartment and live here with me. I have more space than I know what to do with, and you’re already set up and running in the basement. It would make it easier for both of us if you lived here.”

  She stared at him for a moment. “That’s probably the least romantic thing I’ve ever heard.”

  Shit. “I didn’t mean it to come out like that. It was just a suggestion.”

  She sighed. “Everything that’s happened between us has been backward. We slept together without dating. We got pregnant without being in a relationship. And now you’re talking about me moving in like it’s some kind of business deal.” She pressed her lips together. “I don’t want that. I want the fairytale. The happily-ever-after. I’m not moving in with you because it’s easier on my finances.”

  He felt like a statue, frozen to the ground. Desperate to find the right words. “I want to give you that,” he said, his voice cracking. “I do.” His chest throbbed, as though that can opener had stabbed right through it.