Come Back To What You Know

by Kyra Lennon

  But I’d wanted to hold her hand the whole evening.

  She’d been gone from the U.K. for a few weeks, and I’d wanted to give her some time to get used to her new life before I messaged her. I knew she’d have a lot of things she needed to get used to. People to meet, learning to find her way around. There was a lot going on in her world.

  “So, what have you been up to?” she’d asked as we messaged back and forth.

  Brayden: Not much. Work’s been busy so mostly just that.

  Charley: What happened to your social life? :p

  I could just picture her smile, and it made me smile too.

  Brayden: I’m still broke after Christmas! Headed out for drinks with the boys next weekend though!

  Charley: Good! Sounds like you deserve a night out.

  I started to type some words, then deleted them. Was what I wanted to say too much? Taking a chance, I let my fingers go free.

  Brayden: Wish you were still here though.

  There was a short pause at her end, then:

  Charley: Me too. It’s not that I’m ungrateful to be here, and my room mate is lovely, but I really just want a hug from my mum, to exchange insults with my brother, and to see you.

  I swear, I hadn’t had butterflies in my stomach since I was about thirteen, but her admission that she wanted to see me set something off inside me.

  Brayden: We really didn’t get enough time.

  Charley: Nope. Not nearly enough.

  This time, it was her who started to type, then stop again.

  Charley: Maybe we should move on to more neutral ground. I’m already homesick lol

  I was sure she’d wanted to say more, maybe about the no promises pact, but I didn’t want to push her to find out. She was a long way away and months from coming home. It just wasn’t the time.

  Brayden: Sure. So… was Captain America REALLY worthy of lifting Thor’s hammer? :p

  She immediately sent me a laughing emoji at my change of subject, and we immersed ourselves in comic book and movie chat for a while.

  That was how easy it was with her though. I’d learned when to push for more information and when to step back, and she did the same with me. We were so in sync it scared me sometimes. That kind of connection with someone had to be rare. Or maybe it wasn’t, but I’d simply never experience it before. Whatever it was, I didn’t want to lose it.

  I didn’t want to lose her.

  Chapter 6

  Charley

  Brayden's messages had well and truly put my head in a spin. I'd really thought that my being in America would be an end to any hope of "us".

  But he messaged me. That meant he was thinking of me too. Probably not as often, granted. If he'd asked how many times a day I thought of him, I'd honestly be able to tell him, "once". I wouldn't admit that I woke up thinking of him and didn't stop until I went to bed. He was constantly on my mind, and sometimes in my dreams too. Whatever the hell this thing was between us, it was strong. Or, at least, it was for me. There was every chance he didn't feel that tug towards me that I felt towards him, but... part of me thought he did.

  "Hey, Charley! Get your fine ass out of here, bitch! There are drinks calling our name!"

  Raising my head, I grinned as I saw Lewis standing in the doorway of my classroom, leaning against the doorframe with a grin on his face.

  "All right, bitch. I'm coming."

  His grin widened as I closed the file I was reading through and stood up, laughing. "That accent. If a man doesn't snap you up soon just hearing that voice, something is really, really wrong!"

  I chuckled, picking up my bag and walking towards him. "The problem is, my friend, we have the same taste in men. And I love you too much to fight over a guy with you. Bros before hoes... right?"

  Lewis burst out laughing and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "True dat. Come on. Let's go find Evelyn and get our drink on!"

  It never took long for Lewis to break through a bout of melancholy. Lewis was loud and exuberant. I couldn't have gotten through my first month in Chicago without him and Evelyn. Lewis made me laugh so much, and Evelyn was the one to kick my arse when I needed it. We wouldn't usually have gone out for drinks after work on a Monday, but Evelyn told Lewis I'd been feeling a little blue, and instead of the takeaway and wine I'd have preferred, Lewis decided we would go to a bar just a short way from the language school and have a few drinks then go for dinner. Nothing fancy, just something to keep me out of the apartment.

  And away from my laptop.

  Just like that, Brayden was in my head again, and I blew out a slow breath as the thought of him threatened to overwhelm me for a moment. We'd chatted online a bit more the evening before, and it only cemented how much I liked him. Not that I'd ever forgotten or doubted that. But having it reiterated only made the "what ifs" louder.

  Evelyn came out of her classroom looking a little bedraggled. Her dark, plaited hair was fraying, and she looked like she'd had a rough afternoon. However, she greeted us with a smile. "Let's get the hell out of here. I need something alcoholic inside me right now."

  As we began to walk down the corridor towards the doors, I said, "What happened? You look harassed."

  "Oh, you have no idea. I know some students will always be more challenging than others, but I swear, I've got all of the difficult ones in my class."

  Lewis and I exchanged glances and laughed, both knowing we had it easy in comparison.

  We entered the small bar at the end of the street, and right away, a feeling of relaxation hit me. Maybe it was the smell of alcohol in the air, or perhaps it was the fact that it was one of the cosiest places I'd ever been to. It had more of a coffee shop vibe, with big sofas and large cushions, and soft, relaxing lighting. Like Central Perk with booze.

  We ordered our drinks and then made ourselves comfy on a couple of sofas with a table in between to place our glasses on.

  Before any conversation could get started, I heard my phone ringing in my bag.

  "Ten dollars says that's my mother," I said, rolling my eyes and giving my friends a grin. She knew exactly what time I knocked off work, and she called with annoying regularity. I loved her so much, but I needed some space at the end of my day.

  I pulled my phone from my bag and my heart stopped for a second as I saw Brayden's name on the screen. He was Messenger calling me.

  I hadn't heard his voice since before I left the UK. He hadn't said he would call. Panic seemed to grip me, and I dropped the phone in my lap before fumbling to pick it up again. I was sure my cheeks were glowing red as I pressed the button to accept the call.

  "Hello?" The breathiness in my voice made me cringe, and I tried to calm it before I said anything else.

  "Hey! I'm sorry for calling out of the blue. Are you free to talk?"

  My head dropped back, and my eyes closed involuntarily at the sound of his voice. God, it was my favourite sound in the world.

  "Erm..." I glanced at Lewis and Evelyn, who were both watching me with confused expressions. I quickly mouthed Brayden's name at Evelyn then stood up and hurried across the room to a quiet corner. "Yeah. Yeah, I have some time. I mean... I'm out with friends, but I can talk for a bit."

  "Cool. I won't keep you for long, I just... I wanted to talk to you. It's not the same via message, you know?"

  Boy, did I.

  "Yeah. I know what you mean. So, how come you're calling at this time of day? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

  He chuckled. "I am at work. I'm out the back, pretending I'm being generous by making coffee for everyone, but really, I remembered you said you finished work at four, and I thought I'd say hello, just in case we don't get to talk later."

  My heart fluttered in my chest and I wished I could click my heels together and land beside him.

  "That's sweet," I said, smiling. "How is your day going?"

  "Well, it's early, but it's going well so far. But let's not ruin this with work chat. What are you up to?"

  I turned slightl
y to glance back at my friends. They were engaged in conversation but kept looking over at me, and I turned away again to stop myself from laughing at the fact that they were obviously talking about me.

  "My friends and I have just got to a bar," I told him.

  "On a Monday?" He laughed. "Fair play! Good to know you're making the most of your time there."

  "It's a strange situation," I admitted. "I know I'm here to work, but it doesn't really feel like work. Don't get me wrong, we take our jobs seriously, but it also doesn't feel like we can't go out after work. This is the first time we've done this, but I'm sure it won't be the last."

  "And you're enjoying the job?"

  I smiled, and I hoped he could hear it in my voice. "I am. It's a fairly laid back environment. I have students from all over the world in my classes, and some barely speak a word of English, so that can be hard. In the classes where the students have a better grasp of the language, we have a lot more fun because I can joke around with them a bit more."

  "You must be meeting some interesting people."

  "That's for sure." I laughed. "But... it's not all good stories that I hear from them. Some of them come from pretty tragic backgrounds. It's really great to see them improving and settling into their lives in America. I guess, in the sense of settling in, we relate to each other well."

  "Do you miss... home?"

  There was a small tinge of something resembling sadness in his tone, and I sighed. "Like crazy."

  "When you come back, I'm taking you for dinner."

  I paused, trying not to let that little bit of hope I clung to get out of control. We’d promised each other nothing. It was way too soon to be arranging dinner dates.

  As if sensing my thoughts, he said, “I know, okay? No promises. But… I’m pretty sure I can promise you dinner. Even if it’s just as friends.”

  My stomach flipped over, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of excitement that he was promising me something, or if it was shrivelling up at the idea of only being just friends with him.

  That’s all you can be right now.

  Smiling again, I said, "In that case, I’m looking forward to it."

  It was Brayden's turn to laugh. "Don't get too excited. It'll only be a McDonald's."

  "Ha! I will settle for nothing less than a Nando's!"

  Still chuckling, he said, "All right. Nando's it is."

  "Deal."

  The two of us chatted for just a few minutes more—he really couldn't drag out coffee-making for much longer—and then I made my way back to Evelyn and Lewis, who both looked at me with smirks on their faces.

  "What?" I asked, picking up my drink and taking a sip. I could feel my own lips twitching, though. "Fine. What do you want to know?"

  "Sweetheart, Ev's told me the basics," Lewis said, raising an eyebrow. "So, what's the deal? Why did he call?"

  I shrugged. "He just said he wanted to say hello." A dreamy sigh escaped me, and then I bit my lip, ashamed of my air-headed response to Brayden's call. But it meant so much to me that he'd made an effort. That he still wanted to take me out. In eleven months. I’d be going home for Christmas before finishing up my contract the following January, but it was still so far away. My stomach clenched at the reminder that we had a long way to go, but if we stayed in contact the way we had been the last couple of days, maybe, just maybe I could handle it.

  Chapter 7

  Charley

  Eighteen Months Ago

  The sun beat down on me as I lay back on my picnic blanket in Lincoln Park, eyes closed, enjoying the warmth on my skin. Evelyn and Lewis would be along soon, and I needed a little time to let the morning's events sink in before they arrived. My classes finished a couple of hours earlier than theirs on a Friday, so I'd been given the task of going home to grab the picnic basket and blanket, then all I had to do was relax and wait.

  Except I wasn't as relaxed as I should have been.

  Before I left, my boss called me into his office. Naturally, I began to panic, wondering if I'd done something wrong. However, his friendly, open demeanour told me otherwise, and then he said the one thing I hadn't expected.

  "We've been so impressed with your work, and your friendly camaraderie with the students, that we'd like to offer you the chance to renew your contract and stay for another year."

  The offer blindsided me. Not because I thought I'd been doing a bad job or anything, just because, in my head, this was only ever a one year opportunity. The idea of staying for another year set my head in a spin.

  I was due to leave for the UK in five months for Christmas. While I'd grown to love Chicago life, I'd been careful not to get too attached because I knew this wasn't a permanent living arrangement. Even so, I already knew that, when I returned home, I'd miss the rush of the city, my job, my friends, the crazy bars and plethora of interesting people I met on a daily basis. The thought of staying for another year made my insides hum with excitement. Dorset was a lovely place to live, but compared to Chicago?

  As they always did, my thoughts drifted to Brayden. He and I had been in regular contact since that first message back in January. We messaged online, sent texts, and called each other every few days. Nothing had changed for me. In fact, the pull towards him only grew stronger the more we talked.

  I had family back home, but Brayden? Brayden was my biggest reason to return. I needed to see him. I needed to finally get that chance to find out if everything I felt was real. If it was really reciprocated.

  "Hey, girl!"

  Evelyn's voice caused my eyelids to lift, and I sat up slowly to avoid getting a head rush from lying down too long. She grinned down at me, Lewis at her side. I smiled back at my friends as they sat down on the blanket. Lewis reached for the basket.

  "I'm starving!" His hand dipped inside and he began pulling out the ham salad rolls, potato salad, the bowl of mixed fruit, and the homemade cupcakes Ev and I baked the night before, and started laying them out on paper plates. I grabbed the still ice cold bottles of water and handed them out, opening mine.

  "How was the rest of your day?" I asked, taking a long sip of the refreshing liquid.

  "Never mind that," Evelyn said, opening her own bottle. "We heard about your job offer!" She reached over and gave my shoulder a squeeze, an excited smile on her face. "Congratulations!"

  "Yes!" Lewis added, passing me a plate. "So, what did you say? Do we get to keep you for another year?"

  I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I'm still trying to process the idea. I didn't see it coming at all."

  I picked up a sandwich and took a bite as my friends looked at me expectantly. I didn't know what to tell them, though. I truly was still trying to get to grips with the offer, and I was going to need a lot more than a few hours before I reached a decision.

  "You don't want to stay with us?" Lewis pouted, his lower lip jutting out like a small, sulky child.

  Laughing, I said, "You know how much I love you both. Honestly, I wouldn't have lasted here this long without you. And Chicago is amazing. I fall in love with it more and more every day. The job is way more fun than I could ever have expected, and a big part of me would love to stay. I feel like I've grown so much since I've been here, and I could probably learn a whole lot more if I had another year away from home."

  "But?" Evelyn prompted.

  I felt my cheeks heating as my mind wandered back to Brayden. My blush came with a warm, stirring sensation in my stomach as the idea of being in his arms filtered into my mind. If I didn't renew my contract, in five months, I'd get to go home permanently.

  Evelyn and Brayden exchanged a knowing look, and Evelyn sighed. "As much as it pains me to say something like this, because you're right, another year here would be great for you, I don't think you're going to be happy until you give this thing with Brayden a chance."

  "But she doesn't have to give everything up," Lewis pointed out. "We do have Christmas vacation." He turned to me. "You could go home for a few weeks and see him. See if he's really worth
all this daydreaming."

  "I have to make my decision before then, though," I said. "I have to sign the contract in November if I want to stay. What happens if I go home for a couple of weeks and he is everything I think he is? I'm supposed to just hop on a plane and leave him behind?" I shook my head. "I don't think I can do that."

  "If it wasn't for him, what would your choice be?"

  That was a no-brainer. "I'd stay."

  "Then... stay," Evelyn said. "Unless you really think he's worth leaving all this behind, you should stay. Do it for you. If things are supposed to work out with him, they'll work out regardless of where you are or how long it takes."

  Throwing my head back, I let out a sigh. I took a moment to consider her words, because, if she'd been in my position, I probably would have told her the same. Turning down a great offer, a chance for personal growth to be with a guy sounded totally insane on the surface. But what about the feelings I had? Not just the physical attraction; it was more than that. It was something in my gut I still couldn't explain.

  But then... if it was meant to be, Evelyn was right. We'd find our way no matter what.

  Evelyn, Lewis, and I spent a relaxing afternoon enjoying the sunshine, picnic, and the freedom of being out of work for the weekend, but I found it hard to completely kick back. Thoughts of what I'd do swirled around in my head, and while Ev and Lewis tried to drag me out that night to a few bars, I declined. I wanted some time alone to really let the job offer sink in, and maybe make some kind of semi-decision about what I wanted to do.

  I hadn't intended to talk to Brayden about it just yet, but he called me, somewhat unexpectedly, while I was having a much-needed glass of wine and sitting in total silence—most unusual for me. The sound of my phone almost made me jump out of my skin.

  "Hey, Brayden," I said, trying to stop the tremble in my voice I always had when he was on the other end of the line.