To the Paris of our dreams

by Tomas Goncalves

  - Not actually. I knew her for a long time. She has always been an awesome friend...especially after I stopped talking to Sophie, and after everything that happened in our tour... She's twenty eight years old, is engaged, and everyone is pressuring her to get married... I guess our circumstances have gotten us even closer together these last few months...

  - Oh it’s like a forced marriage? - Eric smiled

  - Nah, let's just say that...her fiancée became her parents second son. But now she doesn't know if she still loves him, she's not sure about him and all...It's been harsh on her. But I do believe for a moment in time she was really in love with him...

  - Hmm... Don't you hate when that happens? - Eric laugh

  - I knooow right? - Marie smiled, and kept eating. - It's a shame, she's an awesome awesome girl, you’ll like her... but that's the thing, when your family name is more important than your own happiness, shit like that happens...

  - Yeah, shame... - Eric

  - … But never mind, what do you still have to visit here in Paris?

  - Louvre, D´orsay...Not sure actually

  - There's a Dali's exposition near here. Though I don't know if you like him that much...There's Versailles, Bastille... - Marie was trying to think of some more touristic places he could visit – And maan, there's this sushi place though, completely off-topic I know, but you gotta go there...

  - Would you like to come with me? - Eric

  - I might, depends on my schedule actually. But I'd love to...

  - Awesome...

  - So Hmmm...How's Jack? -Marie

  - He's pretty well I think - Eric

  - Great... What about Liam?

  - He's ok too. They are back in San Francisco. Don't you ever call them or Facebook them or whatever? - Eric

  - To be honest, no … - Marie smirked – I'm not that present at all on the social Medias dude. Here's a girl who presently just have her phone number....

  - Hmm I see… I talked to them about a week ago I think. It's like we all just went to different places.

  - Hmm... I heard Isabella's still at Lucas’s place?

  - Yeah, what about Jan? I heard he was here, but I didn't see him yet – Eric asked

  - Yeah, he's here. Well, right now he's in Berlin actually, I don't know why or when he's coming back. But I got him a job here in Paris... So for sure I know he's here

  - Cool, what kind of job?

  - With concerts actually. Backstage. He's been working like a crazy man. When he's not working, he's training with Mike. It seems he is in a small band, something very small. Said they are more like, bar gigs or something...

  - Oh ok. Cool. Good for him - Eric paused for a second – What about you? It looks like you have a really full schedule too

  -Yeaaah, a bit. It's just because I don't want to live with my parents forever, I need to learn how to make a good living, you know. I know it sounds weird, but....yeah, I don't wanna have to depend one hundred percent on my last name for the rest of my life... Trying to follow my aunt's example I guess...

  - Awesome, so it looks like you're all full of plans...

  - Yeah, I guess so. I just want to keep working on something of my own, you know...

  - Yeah, I understand that. But … Yeah, great, you look really happy. I think I never saw you so....happy, you know? I'm really happy for you.

  - Thank you...I'm actually pretty happy indeed these days

  Eric smiled.

  - … In six months you'll get tired of Paris, you know? - Marie said after a while

  - Bullshit... - He smiled at her

  - … It loses a bit of its charm. Once you have to deal with traffic on a daily basis, and you know, some Parisians are actually pretty laughable people, so arrogant and rude... I don't know, I guess it’s kinda like New York, there's always a lot of people coming and going....trying to make it in this city, because they are just so attracted by its romanticism, but have no idea how to deal with the dark side of romanticism...

  - Oh yeah? Which one?

  -The one that gets you depressed and makes you wanna kill yourself in the most romantic way as possible....Uau, that was a pretty depressing thought – Marie laughed - I'm sorry. Still, I got my point across

  -Yeah, pretty depressing... - He just laughed back

  -Well, I just meant that people come to Paris looking for something, whatever it might be. But you know, big cities end up killing dreams of ninety-five percent of the people that arrive....I'm not saying they won't have a nice life here, but they won't live their dreams....anyways...What I just meant is, people don't know how to deal with the ugly side of the cities they dream of, you know?

  - That's pretty poetic, go on...

  - I don't know...you go to New York to make money, let's say, or a career, or fame....and then most of those people don't know how to handle their lives when getting stuck on a shitty job, being broke and unknown. Unfortunately they can't take happiness from that most of the time...so, a couple of years later, or ten, it actually doesn't matter...they go back to wherever they came from, just giving up on the bright side of the city, because they can't handle its ugly sad.

  -Yeah, I guess....Anymore examples?

  - I don't know... let's see... you can say L.A. To get famous, but it's totally a different kind of fame, right? It’s a Hollywood type of fame... Paris, to get some kind of romance, but not only personal romance, London...I don't know, to have some kind of weird fucked up fun, or meet the queen, go figure – Marie smiled – Above all, people come for the combination of money and the lifestyle that only big cities can offer, and most of them won't get anywhere near what they've dreamt of, because they let cities drown them into oblivion. That's how you give up on a city, because you already gave up on yourself... - Marie

  - Uau... - Eric didn’t know what to say

  - I know...I don't know where that came from, sorry – They laughed

  - Ha, don't worry...but hey, in this scenario, don't you think it ends up to human nature of giving up in the first or second obstacle? It doesn't have much to do with the city they chose....

  -Yeah, for sure...But that's the thing, every city has its own way to do it...don't you think? Every big city has its peculiar way of... trying to kill our dreams – She smirked

  - Hmmm..... Wouldn't you say that that's how we give up on people too? We give up on their bright side because we get fed up with their ugly side... Same concept, isn't it?

  - Hmmm.... Yeah, I suppose – She paused – Yeah, I know what you mean.... anyways, where was I before all of that?

  - Ha, you said I was gonna get tired of Paris in six months...

  - Oh yeah... uau, I don't know how I changed from that to this....I just meant that It must be hard for you to get used to stay this long in a city after being on the road for so long....There's nothing like being like that, on the road, that’s for sure.... I really really enjoyed that kind of thing... Essentially, I mean... not what it eventually meant to me, right?

  - Hmm...I don't know. I pretty much like it here. Maybe it's because I needed some time away from all that, maybe for my family, maybe for the sense of not belonging anywhere that I started to have...I don't know...

  - … So you think Paris could be your home?

  - Maybe, why not? Maybe one day it might...

  Marie smiled and after a minute, she sai
d:

  - Well, I guess there are indeed every kind of crazy people in this world Hun, sweetie?

  - Hun, I guess... - Eric smiled back, she had called him sweetie again – Well, the road also loses its magic eventually, you know?

  -Yeah, I understand that...But don't you miss that, anyways?

  - I do... I actually do. But who knows, maybe we'll hit the road again one day...and being in the subject, I sure you'd might miss Paris too … Again.

  - Well... it looks like we just seem to value things when we start missing them Hun? ….Anyways, that sounded really depressed too. I guess it's the wine that is making me say all of that – Marie laughed – Well it's good to know that. Best of luck.

  - Thanks

 

  There was a Brazilian family sitting right beside Eric and Marie's table, and as soon as Eric realized that, he noticed how distant the fact of being Brazilian was for him. It was true he never felt belonging anywhere, but Brazil, somehow, sounded really really far away...on his past. Like he could barely remember its existence. Alice had tried to speak Portuguese with him a couple of times and he had never encouraged her: He would switch between French and English even with his family – His franglais too, which he'd always use with Tom.

  Anyways, back to the Brazilian family, Eric couldn't stop looking at them, because somehow it reminded him of his family, many and many years ago, before all the things that had happened to them. Eventually the youngest boy noticed Eric looking at them and he made a random comment about Eric's tattoo, being certain he wouldn't understand. The older brother was provoking his mother by saying he was going to do one tattoo like that one day. His dad made an ironic comment about Eric, and soon enough the woman told her family to stop talking about them. The older brother, as a final act of rebellious language, made a very indecent comment about Marie, and his mother reprehended him for it: She then looked for support from her husband, but the husband ended up agreeing with his son, only changing the word his son had used to a more polite compliment to make the woman admit it was true. Then they stopped talking about it.

  Eric decided to discretely laugh about the little fight that was installed in that table, and as soon as they noticed it (even though they probably got very shocked about it) they turned their faces almost at the same time to look at Eric and Marie with hilarious faces.

  - Oh, I'm soorry, guys. It was indiscrete of me....

 

 

  - Oh, come on Marie, it was funny...

  - Yeah, ok, ok... It was, but they were so ashamed, I actually felt bad for them...

  - Well... It's something to learn for next time

  Marie laughed

  - They were actually pretty nice ...you know, after all that.

  - Oh, come on, it was the least they could do...- Eric smiled - Being nice when you have to be nice doesn't prove anything....

  They were walking around the Sacre Coeur and the night couldn't have been prettier. Marie eventually held Eric's hand.

  She gave him the purest smile in the world that made Eric's heart skipped a few beats, in that place, by themselves, completely lost in the Parisian night. It had to be a dream.

  There were some young guys doing some breakdancing in a stairway and Eric and Marie decided to just stop and watch them for a while, having the Sacre Cœur and the rest of Paris as company and view.

  Several minutes later, Isadora called Eric, waking them up from their trance, where they could have easily swore that they were the only people in the world. She set up a place to go pick them up and minutes later they were in the car with Isadora and Mike.

  - Heeey, are you guys tired? - Isadora

  - Hmm, no, not really. Why? - Marie

  - There's this small concert tonight, and we agreed to go and meet Jan, he just got back to Paris a couple of hours ago and he wants to hang out...

  - Oh, nice!

  - Right? … Well, first we need to go pick Gustavo up at home

/>   When they arrived at their place, Gustavo was fast asleep

  - What time is it?

  - Hmm, eleven...

  - Should we let him sleep?

  - What did he do today to be tired like this?

  - I'm sure it isn't from school...

  - Well, I'm gonna take a shower and chill for a while guys, let me know when you guys are good to go... - Mike looked really tired

  Eric and Marie ended up going to his room.

  They would eventually get to the bar around one thirty and stay there for a couple of hours. Gustavo had been woken up by the noise and decided to go with them when they eventually left.

  Jan was there, completely excited, talking to everyone, drinking and flirting with all the girls he would put his eyes on. He ended up sleeping on their couch that night, and Marie also went back to their place.

  They would all wake up really late the next day.

 

 

  Eric went to the D'Orsay with Marie the next day (they changed plans) and went to the Louvre on Monday, by himself. Mike and Marie seemed to have vanished that week, completely busy and locked in on the music school. They hadn't said anything but it was pretty clear the moving to the new place was happening soon, or at the moment, because they were working insane amounts of time.

  Eric had lunch with Isadora and Gustavo one day, lunch only with Gustavo the next day. One day he went out with Isadora and some of her friends, most of them girls, and … God he walked around that city.

  Gustavo had extremely high grades, but he was completely lazy and unwillingly to do stuff he was supposed to in this beginning of semester. He just seemed like he couldn't take one more hour in the fancy school he was attending. And I guess they understood that.

  That been said, the Louvre is pretty amazing, no doubt about it. But, or you're able to feel that the love of your life exists in a place like the D'orsay Museum, or I guess you'll never feel it.