by Shay Savage
“Three days?”
“Yes, because until then, you and your wife will be isolated.”
“What are you saying?” Branford’s tone was incredulous.
“You are going to fix this. You are going to behave like a man and not a spoiled child. You are going to teach your wife about our customs, how we live, what is expected of her, and you are going to teach her about you. You will also learn about her and honor her thoughts and her beliefs.”
I chanced a look from under my arm. Branford remained on his knees before the queen as she continued to speak.
“In my homeland, there was a custom for newly married couples. For three days and nights after the wedding, they were not to leave each other’s company. They would spend that time learning of one another and understanding the person with whom they would spend their lives. We called it the honeymoon, and you and Alexandra are on your honeymoon as of this moment. You are not to leave her side—not even for a minute. You will tell her about yourself, including why you reacted this way tonight. You will explain it to her, Branford. All of it.”
“I don’t want to talk about—”
“I am not interested in your wants, Sir Branford. You created this situation, and you have made a mess of it. Now you are going to resolve it.”
“Resolve it?” Branford took a deep breath, his voice moderately calmer. “I have a tournament to prepare for. I can’t spend three days—”
“I didn’t choose the time of your wedding, Branford,” the queen told him. “You did that yourself, and now you can live with your choices. How do you expect to be able to protect an entire people as king when you cannot protect your wife? When were you going to get around to that? Were you waiting for the timing to be convenient for your schedule?”
“Protect her from what?” Branford cried out. “She’s the one who—”
“If you had looked around the room for a moment,” Queen Sunniva said over her adopted son’s voice, “you would have seen those wretched sisters cackling to each other as soon as you reached the door!”
There was a moment of silence before Branford spoke, his voice now hushed.
“Kimberly and Nelle?”
“Yes. Am I finally getting through that thick skull of yours?”
“What did they do?”
“If you are so good at conspiracies, you figure it out! One look at them told me exactly what happened this evening. Maybe those two whores of yours are trying to find a way to regain your attention. I don’t care what their reasoning is. You can determine their involvement after you take care of your first priority—the girl you’ve got cowering in the corner! She thinks she is going to be beaten or even lose her life at her husband’s hand because those conniving little trollops strong-armed her into wearing that dress.”
She knew. I didn’t understand how she could, but she knew what they had done to me.
“You think they did this deliberately? You think they did this to humiliate her? They would not do that to my…”
He paused, gasped, and for a moment, I could hear nothing but his breathing.
“Yes, Branford. To your wife. Who else thought she had a chance at such a position?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Branford’s voice had become hollow and almost emotionless.
“Who thought she had a chance at being more to you? Who may have let her jealousy get the better of her? I will no longer tolerate her actions in my kingdom, Branford. I expect you to take care of that. I have gone beyond all expectations when it comes to honoring Everleigh’s sister’s daughters.”
“But Ramona was with Alexandra all afternoon. How could they have—?”
“Why don’t you ask Alexandra to tell you? It’s a good place for you to start mending.”
“She did nothing wrong, did she?” Branford’s voice was barely a whisper.
“No, Branford,” Sunniva said. I heard the queen inhale deeply before she continued, her voice now devoid of its previous ire. “Alexandra is a kind, sweet, common girl who needs your care and your leadership. Look at what you have done to her.”
As Branford’s head swiveled in my direction, I quickly hid my face. I heard nothing but his short, clipped breaths.
“Time to make amends, my son,” Sunniva said, her voice finally softening. “Whether it was by accident or not, you chose a fine woman to be at your side, and now you have to talk to her, Branford. You have to give her the chance to know and understand you, and you have to take the time to know and understand her. Did you think marriage just happened by itself?”
“I never thought of it at all,” Branford said. His voice was now quiet and subdued.
“It’s time to start thinking, Branford. I will discuss it with you again in three days.” I heard her retreating steps and the gentle thud of the closing door as she left me alone with Branford. For many, many minutes I kept my hands over my head, waiting for his rage to return with the buffer between us now absent. The only sounds were my muffled sobs and Branford’s labored breathing.
“Alexandra, please.” I heard the shuffle of feet moving toward me, and Branford’s softened voice. “Don’t cry, please, Alexandra. Please look at me.”
I felt his hand against my shoulder and heard a cry escape my mouth as I tried to jerk away from him, and my shoulder scraped against the stone wall.
“Dear God in Heaven,” I heard him say quietly. “What have I done?”
I felt his hands on me again, and I tried to push myself away, but I was still up against the wall with nowhere to go. I screamed as I pushed against the hands and arms that wrapped around me. Again I wondered if his sword was clasped to his belt or if he would need to retrieve it. I futilely tried to make sense of what I could recall of Queen Sunniva’s words, but I was too overwhelmed to understand what all of it meant. Branford couldn’t have been on his knees. I must have imagined it.
“Please! Don’t kill me! Please, my lord! I didn’t mean to…”
“Oh no! No! Alexandra, no…please don’t think that.”
“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”
“Alexandra, shh…hush now.”
I felt myself being lifted from the floor and realized I was cradled in his arms. Where would he take me? Would I die tonight? Would I first be paraded down the street to an executioner’s block? It was only after a few steps that he stopped and stood still. I could not fight his grip, so I gave up instead. I fisted his shirt and tucked my head into his chest. There was no comfort there as tears flowed freely down my cheeks, but I had nowhere else to turn.
“Don’t hurt me…” I heard myself repeat the phrase as I felt my body rise slightly, and then it was lowered, and I realized Branford had climbed into the bed and now held me across his lap.
“Never, Alexandra. I won’t harm you. You are safe.”
Safe.
I had no idea what such a word meant any longer. Back in Hadebrand, I had at least known my place and what was expected of me. I acted the way a servant should and rarely needed any kind of reprimand. Here, having done nothing against them, the nobles were willing to harm me at their whim. Though before I had felt safe being held like this in Branford’s arms, he had left me alone when those two women had come for me. His arms were still warm and strong against my back, but I could no longer believe they would offer security.
I felt myself shudder as another sob broke free of my chest, and Branford’s grip tightened on my shoulders as he rocked back and forth, telling me I was safe, and I didn’t have to cry. I didn’t believe him, but I finally gave into exhaustion and let the world go black as I closed my eyes.
*****
The room was quite dark and chilled when I woke, and the fire had gone out completely. Though my first thought was to restart the flames, I found myself unable to move as I realized Branford was not in the bed with me. Indeed, the blankets on his side were quite cold.
I rolled slightly and felt the cool sheets hit my bare shoulder, aggravating the
scrape from the wall. I cringed as I realized I was still wearing the horrible garment and started to sit up so I could get out of the bed and change when I heard something from the other room. It was the soft echo of a woman’s voice just outside the doorway in the morning room and Branford’s hushed response. I craned my head and tried to make out the woman’s words.
“…where I found Ramona and the dress Alexandra was supposed to wear. Ramona is just beside herself, especially after she heard about you taking Alexandra away. I should have gone myself, but there was the disaster in the kitchen and…well, it doesn’t matter now, but at the time…”
It was Ida’s voice, I realized. She sighed heavily.
“And Ramona confirms it? Kimberly and Nelle are responsible for all of this?”
“She did.” There was a brief pause. “I know that look, big brother. You can’t…Mommy promised to take care of them…you can’t do that.”
“I swore to Alexandra I would protect her.” Branford’s hard voice rang out against the stone. “I failed her already. The very least I can do is place their heads on the castle wall as a reminder of how I feel regarding betrayal.”
“But Sunniva promised Mommy they would be cared for, Branford. You can’t…” I heard her breath hitch and her voice crack on her words. “You can’t do that. Not to Mommy’s sister’s daughters. Not to our cousins.”
“I cannot sit back and have them humiliate me and practically torture my wife.” Branford’s voice was a low growl. “My God, if Mother hadn’t come in…or if Ramona had been harmed …I can’t even imagine it.”
“Do you think executing them will fix all of this?”
I strained but could hear nothing at first. There was a long moment of silence before Branford replied.
“No.” Again, there was a long pause when no words were spoken. “Tell me what to do, Ida. I scared her. I’ve been trying to gain her trust, and I have certainly ruined that now.”
“Do you want to fix it?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Then stop acting like a conceited ass and think of her first.”
“Is it too late?”
“Only Alexandra can answer that question,” Ida said conclusively. “If she does give you the opportunity, which you do not deserve, you will have your work cut out for you. No more half-truths and hiding things from her. Tell her everything, Branford. Let her know you. She will either accept you or not, but at least it will be out in the open. You are not such an awful man even if you are an ass.”
I could hear their soft laughter, the murmur of additional words, and the closing of the door before I heard Branford’s footsteps getting closer. The dim light from a candle he carried flickered over the walls as he approached me sitting up in our bed.
“You’re awake,” Branford said quietly. He sat himself on the edge of the bed and placed the candle on a nearby table but did not come close enough to touch me, and I was grateful. Remembering I still had not changed out of the dress that had started all of this, I pulled the bed sheets up to my shoulders.
“Only for a minute,” I replied though I realized he would wonder what I had heard of his conversation with his sister. I did not want to be deceitful to him, so I answered the question I knew he would ask. “I heard you and Ida talking.”
“She was afraid you would think she had something to do with it,” Branford said, gesturing toward me and the accursed dress. “She wanted you to know she had a proper dress for you and sent Ramona to deliver it and help you get ready. Something happened to her along the way. Ramona is trusted. We thought she had been with you all afternoon.”
Perhaps I should have felt comforted by his words, but I did not. My mind was still hazy from sleep, and my eyes were sore from the tears I had already shed. Remembering myself walking into the room with all those people looking at me and seeing Branford’s eyes made me shudder.
“When I saw you walk in, wearing that…that dress”—Branford’s voice turned cold and hard, and I flinched back toward the headboard, gripping the sheets tighter to my chest—“I thought the worst. It was irrational—I know that now—but at the time, all I could think was you had somehow managed to trick me. I thought you were a traitor sent to spy on Silverhelm.”
I could almost feel the phantom grip of his fingers on the flesh of my arm as he growled that word—traitor—into my ear as he dragged me back to these rooms. I closed my eyes, both to him and the memory.
“Look at me, Alexandra.”
I tilted my head and opened my eyes again slowly. He had leaned forward with one of his elbows propped against his knee, and his eyes flickered darkly in the candlelight.
“I was wrong,” he said. He spoke in a quick, hushed whisper. “I realize that now. I know you didn't...you didn’t wear that intentionally.”
I didn't understand his change of tone or the look in his eyes. He seemed almost as if he were in pain, and I fought back the same desire I had when I had shaved him—to run my hand through his hair and tell him everything was all right—because it was not all right. I didn’t even know what he now planned to do with me. Even as I tried to make meaning of the queen’s words in my conscious mind, I didn’t know if he would heed her wishes.
“Are you going to kill me?”
“God no,” Branford said immediately. “Alexandra, I won't hurt you.”
He sighed, and I watched him run his hand through the strands of his hair, much in the same way I wanted to do myself. He closed his eyes and placed the heel of his hand tight against the skin of his forehead.
“But I've lost any chance I had of gaining your trust,” he said.
Trust. Did he no longer trust me?
“I didn’t mean…I didn’t know…” I started to say, but the tears overflowed yet again, preventing me from speaking clearly. It didn’t matter what I said to him—he didn’t trust me. He was not going to listen to my word over that of two noblewomen. Branford’s hand reached for my arm, but I cringed away from him.
“Hush, Alexandra,” Branford said in his soft, calming voice. “Please don’t talk of it just yet. I must speak to you first if you are willing to hear my words at all.”
“Of course,” I replied. My stomach tightened, and I found myself nearly disgusted by the ingrained responses that flowed so easily from my lips when the words I wished to use were caught in my throat, refusing to come out.
Branford reached out and grasped my hands before I could move away, and then he stood, pulling me from the bed to stand in front of him. I wanted to bring the sheets with me to keep myself covered, but he took them from my clenched hands as I stood. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. I watched him slowly lower himself to the floor, on his knees in front of me. He then opened his eyes and looked up at me. My mouth dropped open, and I stared at him.
“What are you doing?” I asked with a gasp.
“Alexandra,” Branford said, “I don’t deserve the opportunity, but will you please, please hear me out?”
“You shouldn’t…be like that,” I whispered. I tried to pull back on his hands to encourage him to stand again, but he shook his head.
“Please, Alexandra. Will you listen?”
“Of course, Branford.”
Branford took another deep breath.
“I’m sorry, Alexandra,” Branford said. “I’ve acted in a most hideous manner toward you this evening for something I know now was not of your doing. I should have known it then, but I let my emotions get the better of me, and my mind did not follow with any proper reasoning. I was angry, and I directed my anger at you, which was not deserved. I’m sorry for what I said and what I did tonight, but there is much more I need to say to you.
“I didn’t think,” Branford continued, stammering somewhat. “I didn’t know…I should have known, but I didn’t think about you…about marriage. I thought only of the concept, not what you would need from me or what I should do for you. I didn’t consider you as a woman…as a person. I only thought of a wife as someone who would bea
r my children and be in my presence when it seemed necessary.”
He took in a long breath.
“I have never done this before, Alexandra,” Branford said. “And in my ignorance, I have failed you completely. I have failed to protect you, to teach you, or even to let you have the opportunity to teach me. I have barely spoken to you about anything other than…well…other than our nights together. Though it seemed important at the time, I can see now I was quite negligent in matters most paramount.”
“Alexandra, my wife—I don’t know if you can forgive me for my actions against you tonight. I acted without soundness of thought and obviously scared you terribly. I don’t ever wish to frighten you again, and I will spend the rest of my days making it up to you if you will allow me. I do not deserve your forgiveness, but I will ask for it anyway. If you find you…cannot bear to stay with me, I will still care for you. I will not return you to Hadebrand, but I will take you far from here where your life with me would be unknown, and I would make sure you did not suffer in any way. You do not have to remain my wife if you no longer wish to be. You have choices, Alexandra.”
“Choices,” I said softly, considering the strange word and what it was supposed to mean. “No, I don’t think I do.”
“Of course you do, Alexandra.” Branford eyes tightened as he looked at me. “As I said, if you do not wish to stay here as my wife, I will take you somewhere else.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere you like.”
“I have never been anywhere but here and Hadebrand. I would not know anyone, and I would have no idea what to do so far away. It would be worse than…” I stopped, for the words that nearly escaped my mouth would have been very unfortunate. “No, Branford. I don’t believe I have had any choices since you laid eyes on me in the arena.”
For several seconds, Branford looked into my eyes as he seemed to slowly understand what I was saying to him. When I could no longer bear it, I broke his gaze. His hands gripped my fingers slightly.
“You can stay here in the castle, then,” he said softly. “I thought it would be too difficult for you, but if you wish to stay and not be my wife, I will make sure you are…cared for properly.”