Wicked Healing

by Madden, J. M.

  Luca grinned with pride, urging her forward to introduce. Marcus sat on the far table and she could tell that Luca and Marcus were especially close. The assistant that had been working to stretch Marcus’ legs excused herself to answer a call.

  “Thank you for the interruption,” Marcus hissed, his blue eyes dancing with fatigue. “Lisa was going to kill me. That woman is just plain mean.”

  “No, she’s not,” Luca said. He leaned toward Erin. “She just doesn’t put up with his bellyaching.”

  Erin laughed and Marcus scowled at Luca.

  “Thanks for having my back, buddy.”

  They laughed together and Luca leaned close enough to pat Marcus on the back. “You’ll appreciate it later. Believe me.”

  Erin eventually moved to a chair to let the guys talk. Luca loved showing them Wicked’s prosthetic, and she thought maybe it was therapeutic for him. Wicked didn’t especially care what went on, as long as he was with Luca, so it all worked out. When the therapists insisted it was time to get back to work, Luca gave everyone a final smile and turned away. His eyes met Erin’s and again, she got the feeling that this had been better therapy for him than them.

  They walked to the elevator and through several hallways on the ground floor. When he opened a final door she was happy to find a deserted courtyard, complete with grass for animals and benches for people. There was no one else here, so he let Wicked wander, then he crossed to one of the benches.

  “I’m sorry I took so long in there. The guys have been waiting to meet Boss for a long time.”

  He smiled softly and she wished he would look at her more. It was obvious he was self-conscious about his scars, but they really didn’t bother her. She’d like to see more of him, but he was focused on the animal, his gaze a little lost.

  “It’s completely okay,” she told him firmly, and it was. “Will you keep in touch with them when you leave?”

  He shrugged, then winced and leaned to the side. “A couple, probably.”

  “Are you okay,” she asked, concerned. That had been pain she’d seen contorting his face.

  “I’m fine. I, uh, broke a few ribs when we were blown up and they hurt here and there.”

  No, it seemed like more than that. “Did Wicked hurt you when he knocked you down yesterday?”

  Luca shook his head, giving her a smile. “Nah. Not really. He might have just aggravated the injury. It’s no biggie.”

  She frowned fiercely at him. “If you puncture a lung with a broken rib or something I’m going to be pissed.”

  Luca chuckled, holding a hand to his side. “Quit making me laugh.”

  Erin scowled, worried that there was something seriously wrong.

  Turning on the bench Luca rested his hand on her wrist. “I’m fine, I promise. I’ve done this a couple of times before, mostly after I’ve exerted myself too much. It was an interesting day yesterday.”

  There seemed to be sincerity in his eyes, but she was still worried about him. “Are you in pain? Do we need to go back to the room?”

  He shook his head. “I’m good. It’s too nice of a day to be inside.”

  Erin sat back against the bench and he removed his hand. It wasn’t like her to be so… attentive? Concerned? She wasn’t sure what she was, but the thought of Luca in pain made her heart hurt. Completely ridiculous considering she’d just met the man.

  She had a feeling she would be worrying about the man and his dog for a long time.

  Chapter 7

  Luca took shallow breaths, forcing himself not to flinch from the pain. There was a catch in his breathing that was pissing him off. He hadn’t lied to Erin. It did bother him sporadically. He refused to admit out loud that Wicked had hurt him when he’d plowed him down yesterday, but he had. Actually, landing on the ground had. He’d heard the light snap as one of his ribs re-broke but it hadn’t been enough to stop him from greeting his buddy.

  Besides, there was nothing that could be done for broken ribs, as he knew so well. He drew in a heavier breath, ignoring the pain.

  He glanced at Erin. Her hair was down today and it fluttered in the breeze, teasing at her cheeks and lips. As he watched she pushed it behind her ears. Then it fluttered away again.

  He smiled slightly, glad that he could finally appreciate a beautiful woman. For a long time he’d worried that he wouldn’t want to stick around. The pain of his injuries had been devastating and losing Boss had been more emotionally crippling than anything the IED had done. But things were beginning to turn around in his favor.

  Erin dug in her shoulder bag and produced a brand-new tennis ball.

  “He hasn’t seen this one, yet. He chewed two up in the hotel room last night.”

  Luca laughed, taking the ball from her. With a hiss he grabbed Boss’s attention and flung the ball. It was in the dog’s mouth before it even hit the ground. Erin laughed, shaking her head. “That dog is amazing.”

  They played for about twenty minutes before Boss began to slow down. Returning to his side, he nosed at Luca’s hands, wanting rubbed. Luca was more than happy to humor the dog, stroking his face and head and ears. He’d dreamed of doing this. In the depths of his recovery, dreaming about the relaxation it gave him to just stroke his hand down Boss’s side had kept him semi-sane. Drugs and therapy could only do so much. A man’s determination to live had a breaking point, and he’d worried that losing Wicked and the pain of his injuries had been that point.

  A few times he’d dreamed of committing suicide and releasing himself from the pain. Waking up without his leg and barely able to breathe had been shocking. He’d gone from moving like a well-honed machine to suddenly not being able to move at all without help. It had been mortifying relying on someone to help him literally do everything. Then he thought about the other men on the floor, men with more devastating injuries than he had who had a better outlook on their lives, and he’d been ashamed. Yes, his injuries were devastating, but they were recoverable. He was a damned Navy SEAL. There was no giving up.

  Even as strong and determined as he was, for a stroke of time it had been tempting. He’d gone through and planned the process, step by step. Timing it so that the night nurse he didn’t like would find him but using hoarded pills so that there was no serious mess for anyone to clean up. Leaving a note for his parents.

  The thought of his mother dealing with his death had made his heart hurt. Even as domineering as she was, he loved her. As an only child, he knew his death would cripple her for the rest of her life, and he couldn’t do it. Dad would survive but Mom, well, she would fall apart. And he couldn’t do that to Dad.

  Ruffling Wicked’s fur he sighed, truly appreciating living in the moment.

  Wicked shifted toward Erin, looking for attention. Luca smiled, glad his partner had found comfort in her care as he recovered.

  He glanced at her. “Have you been to the beach or anything?”

  Erin gave him a sideways grin as she shook her head. “Nope. Haven’t had a chance to do much of anything.”

  Oh, yeah. Luca shook his head at his own stupidity. She’d only been here a day and a half. And then she’d been here in the hospital with him. “There are some fantastic beaches around, if you’d like to go for a drive,” he suggested, then cursed himself soundly. He hadn’t been out on excursions more than a few times since he’d lost his leg and he didn’t really want to go now because of the logistics, but he’d already offered. Shit.

  “I would love to go for a drive,” she told him, an excited smile spreading her mouth. Happiness danced in her pale amber eyes, and he had to stare for a second, caught. It had been a long time, eons it seemed like, since he’d been out with a woman, or even had a woman’s attention other than the nurses. And normally he was a guy that had more than his share of female attention, but his confidence had taken a hit, both physically and professionally. It was hard to get out of that headspace and just let himself enjoy the moment.

  Now he had talked himself into a corner.

  �
��If you want to meet me out front I’ll go get the car and meet you in the loop.”

  Luca’s heart sank, but he forced a smile. “Perfect. I’ll let my floor know I’m going out.”

  Erin looked excited as she stood from the bench and turned for the door. Boss watched her go then looked back to Luca. “We’re going to go for a ride buddy.”

  The dog’s tail wagged and he backed up so that Luca could climb to his feet, dread in his heart.

  * * *

  Erin could see the trepidation in Luca’s eyes, but she thought it was more about going out in public than going out with a potentially dangerous dog in tow. If he just sat in the car, it might not be so bad. She had no idea what the capability of the prosthetic was. Would it bog down in sand? Could it even get wet? As she walked toward the parking lot to retrieve her car, she slowed to a stop, looking down at her own legs. They were serviceable, of course, but she had a feeling that if she lost one it would suddenly become the most precious thing on earth to her. Losing a leg had to be catastrophic, especially to a guy like Luca. It was obvious he’d been physically vital. His body was completely ripped and she wondered if he would have survived if he hadn’t been so strong.

  The man and the dog suited each other. Both dark and menacing in a way, but both struggling with their identities since their injuries. Wicked would have to go through some serious reintegration training before he could be completely trustworthy on the street.

  It would be good to stay in the car today.

  When she drove into the loop she parked and circled the car to open the back passenger door for Wicked. He jumped in immediately and let her fasten the special strap to his collar. Out of her peripheral vision she watched as Luca struggled a bit to get into the car. He did it though, drawing his cane in with him. She circled back around the car and slipped into the driver’s seat.

  Wicked nosed at Luca’s ear, then licked his cheek like he was giving his human encouragement. Luca laughed, reaching back to ruffle Wicked’s furry neck.

  Erin shifted into gear and pulled out of the parking lot. “Where to?”

  Luca gave her concise directions and before long she could tell they were getting close to the beach. There were more cars and it was a little crowded in the touristy areas, but he directed her north toward the Torrey Pines area.

  “You’ll like it,” he told her. “There’s a beach but there are also these rocky bluffs where you can look down at the ocean. Very picturesque.”

  Erin turned on an old rock station and rolled down the windows, happy to be in the fresh air. Even outside the hospital it seemed like there was a disinfectant odor around the area. It was nice to blow all that away. She glanced at Luca. He was smiling slightly, hand out the window playing in the breeze. She glanced in the rearview mirror. Wicked was at the end of his strap, trying to let his head hang out the window. His tongue flapped in the wind and she giggled.

  Luca craned his head to look at the dog and laughed as well, deeply. Only once did she see a flash of pain contort his face. It disappeared quickly, obviously forced away by his iron will.

  Torrey Pines Park was as pretty as he’d promised, and considering it was a weekend it wasn’t especially crowded. She kept craning her head to see everything. There was a line of cars to get off the interstate, but they weren’t in a hurry.

  Once she was on the park grounds the speed limit slowed considerably, giving her a chance to look at the amazing panoramas spread beneath her. There were sandy rock bluffs and swooping vistas. When she got a chance she pulled into the main parking lot, grabbed her phone and stepped out of the car.

  Yes, she was changing the plans a little, but if he wanted to sit in the car while she took pictures she would be okay with that, if maybe a little disappointed in him. No, that wasn’t fair. He needed to do what he was comfortable with.

  She heard the latch of the car door, then Luca’s soft voice talking to Wicked as he let him out. The dog looked around curiously, but not defensively. Erin thought it was a huge improvement that he was so calm.

  “There’s a longer line in the back if you want to let him roam a bit.”

  Hobbling a little, Luca moved to the back and opened the hatch. He found the black lunge line and fastened the end to Wicked’s collar.

  “We’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable, okay?”

  Luca nodded, eyes squinted against the bright sunlight. “I might as well see what I can do.”

  Erin grinned at him, glad that he was being proactive. She walked slowly onto the first trail. She wished for pavement for Luca’s sake, but it would be all right. The surface of the trail was sandy, but fairly level. She glanced at Luca, then took a double take. He’d left his cane in the car.

  He seemed to understand her glance and he shrugged. “Not easy to juggle the cane and line and concentrate on my leg.”

  She slowed to walk beside him, on the opposite side from Wicked. If by chance he stumbled or slipped she wanted to be close enough that he could grab her shoulder or something. She would do anything she could to keep him from being embarrassed in public.

  There was a gradual downward slope to the trail and in a while it would switch back on itself and go down to the beach. Erin could see the length of the trail, probably at least a mile, and there were several benches along the way. She waited for Luca to pause at each bench, but he passed them all until they were through the switchback, then he took a pause for a few minutes. Wicked ranged out at the end of the line, sniffing and peeing on bushes where others had been.

  Luca’s breathing seemed a little rough but when she lifted a brow at him in question he waved her concern away. “I’m good, really. I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to stop, though. We’re this close I have to hit the beach.”

  The grin that spread across his face made her heart stall in her chest. Damn… the man was hot. Several women had looked at him as they’d traveled the trail, but Luca had been preoccupied with keeping his footing. And now that he’d made it this far he was beaming at her, making her the focus of his attention. Erin warmed from the inside, responding to his joy.

  “Can your prosthetic get wet?”

  He looked down at his right leg, covered by the athletic pant. “It can, but it’s probably not advised. Not sure what the salt water would do to the mechanics of it. I’ll be sure to clean it when I get back.”

  She nodded. “Probably smart. That has to last you a while.”

  Smiling crookedly, he nodded.

  “When I was walking to the car earlier, I realized how much I take my body for granted. It had to have been hard losing your leg.”

  He looked down the trail for a moment, then back to her. “It was world-changing. Literally. And it still is. When I woke up I thought I was in a nightmare. Then they told me about Boss and I knew I was in hell. I was being punished for something.”

  Trying not to be overwhelmed with emotions, Erin nodded slowly. “I would think that too. I’m sorry for asking, Luca.”

  He shrugged, giving her that lopsided smile. “It’s all good. I need to get used to it, you know? I didn’t want to get out of the car today, but I’m glad that I have. For thirty years I’ve been fit and active and I don’t feel like losing a leg should change that.”

  “Oh, of course not!” she told him. “I see so many amputees running marathons and stuff. It shouldn’t slow you down at all.”

  “I’ve started to forget about the prosthetic,” he admitted, “until I’m presented by something different like this trail. The one that I’m wearing has a computer chip inside and a small motor to help with balance and locomotion. I’ve been using a cane for the past month but I’m at the point where I feel like it’s a crutch, both physically and metaphorically.”

  “I haven’t seen you actually need it.”

  He nodded again, smiling. “It’s just one of those ego things, you know? I’d rather have the cane in my hand for security than go sprawling in the midst of a crowd.”

  She shrugged. “Bee
n there, done that and I have two good legs.”

  He snorted. “Yeah. I know. But a Navy SEAL needs a certain amount of ego.”

  Chuckling, she bumped into his shoulder. “I could tell you were an egomaniac as soon as I saw you.”

  He laughed with her, then he sobered. “Thank you, Erin.”

  “You are very welcome, Luca.”

  They headed down the trail again. Luca didn’t slip once, until he got to the deep sand of the beach, then his steps began to drag. Erin grabbed his left hand and popped it onto her near shoulder, giving him what support she could. It was twenty-five yards to the water’s edge but they stopped just short of it, looking out at the Pacific. Wicked ranged to the edge of his line and one of the waves caught him. He danced forward and back, playing in the sea.

  “We’ll have to check his prosthetic when we get in the car. Make sure it’s dry.”

  Erin was surprised when Luca cupped her head in his hand and pulled her close to kiss her temple. “Thank you for taking care of us, Erin.”

  “You are very welcome.”

  They stood at the edge of the sea for a long while, then they turned and started back up the trail. There was no discussion, just a mutual understanding that it was time to go. Erin had a feeling Luca was getting tired, but he wouldn’t tell her that. He would struggle his way up the trail and try not to be a burden. They stopped at two benches on the way up and even Wicked slowed down for a break.

  They made it to the car with no major mishaps. Luca tripped once, but his hand braced on her shoulder saved him. When he climbed into the car she could see the exhaustion on his face. That had been a long, difficult trek for him. For Wicked as well. The dog jumped into the back seat, licking at her face as she leaned in to fasten him to the strap. Impulsively she wrapped her arms around the dog and kissed him on the head. His long tongue caught her nose as she pulled away, making her laugh.

  “Thanks for the kisses, buddy.”