Wicked Healing

by Madden, J. M.

  Erin laughed again and handed him an ice cold bottle of fresh water. Luca tipped his head back and drank it down in a few long swallows.

  “You will acclimatize, but the sun is an unrelenting bitch out here. The animals mostly stay in during the day. There are misters over the stalls, as well as fans. And the kennel is air conditioned. They can get outside to use the bathroom, then they go back inside to stay cool.”

  Luca was impressed. “I’d love to see the kennel, if you don’t mind. Are you done training Larry?”

  Erin laughed and nodded. “Yes. He just needed loosened up a little. I don’t train, per se, just maintain while the owners are away. I’ll work with Bianca and Speed this evening when it cools off a little.”

  She cocked her head at him. “Are you sure you don’t want to go cool off in your apartment for a bit? Not to be a nag, but you did just get out of the rehab facility.”

  Luca shook his head, scraping a hand through his sweaty hair. “I’m good. Really. Just trying to get back into the swing of moving all day. Living.”

  She didn’t say anything else as she led him out of the barn and back into the sun. Wicked jumped out of the watering trough and shook. It wouldn’t be long before his coat was dry.

  They angled to the right and through the gravel parking lot. The kennel building was a white metal commercial size expanse. “Did you build this?”

  Erin shook her head as she led him into the cool inside.”I did not. The people that lived here before bred championship Bull Mastiffs, as well as Arabian horses. Their daughter was having twins, their first grandchildren, in New York so they moved closer to be with her. I happened to spot the property the day it went on the market. I talked to them and once they learned what I would be doing with the property, they sold it to me under asking price. I couldn’t have afforded it otherwise.”

  Luca looked around. It actually looked like a veterinarian’s office, with a counter on one side and a few chairs in a waiting room. As soon as they’d entered, a cacophony started up in the back.

  Wicked fussed when Luca fastened his lead outside in the shade of the porch, but he wasn’t going to allow him to drip through the building, or rile up the dogs any more than they already were. Erin watched him with the dog but didn’t comment.

  Luca was impressed as she led him through the building. It was meticulously clean wall to wall tile. They went through a door with a glass window in the top. Luca expected to be hit with the smell of urine and feces. There were so many dogs in here. But it didn’t happen. Yes, there was a little smell, of course, but nothing like some of the kennels he’d been in over his life. Each animal had a tiled ‘room’ to themselves, with elevated beds.

  “The tile allows me to hose out when I need to. There’s a trough drain in the back of the room, kinda like a urinal,” she grinned. “The owners bring in whatever bedding they want for their animal and it stays with them the entire time they’re here. The access door leads to a long patch of grass in the back, which they have access to all the time.”

  Luca walked slowly along the center aisle, looking at the animals in the ‘rooms’. “This is amazing.”

  She looked around, the smile on her face proud. “I think so. I have a couple of college kids that help here and there, but for the most part it’s all me.” She motioned to a massive white-board on the end wall. “We keep track of who’s coming and going there, and any medical issues or anything.”

  This was amazing. He’d thought about what he’d like to do after the military and owning a kennel had been one of those dreams, and breeding Belgian Malinois like Wicked. Probably not an attainable dream. Malinois meant for combat work were bred almost exclusively in Belgium. He knew enough to train, though, as well. It was one of those things that he’d have to think about more seriously now that he had time.

  Erin had a look on her face that made him pause. Her eyes were excited, and her entire expression seemed happy. “You love this, don’t you?”

  “Of course,” she admitted. “It makes me happy to be an advocate for animals. They have no voice so they have to have people willing to look out for them. Don’t tell anyone but even if the boarders couldn’t pay I would still keep the animals for them. Years ago I learned that some of the airmen being deployed were taking their pets to the kill shelter. That broke my heart. When I have room I still go to the shelter sometimes and take in some former pets, then find homes for them. It’s not their fault the government won’t let them be with their owners.”

  Very true. “You’re incredible. I’m very thankful Wicked ended up with you. I don’t think he would have done as well with anyone else.”

  She crossed her arms as she turned to him. “Thank you for saying that, Luca. I like to make a difference.”

  They wandered down the aisle, Erin naming the dogs as they went. She stopped for a moment at every room and talked to the animal, then moved on. The dogs loved her and basked in her attention. “This evening we’ll come out and play. I let them all into the rear yard and we play ball or frisbee or whatever until they’re worn out. It’s a fun time.”

  “That does sound like fun,” he admitted.

  They returned to the front door of the kennel. Wicked was sprawled on the shaded concrete, half asleep. Luca untied the leash, then stood there for a moment, debating what to do. He knew Erin probably had work to do but he didn’t want to leave her just yet.

  “Want to go to the house? I have something for you.”

  He blinked in surprise. “Sure.”

  The back patio was becoming very familiar. They walked in through the covered back door and all of the fosters had to come tell them hello. Wicked’s coat had almost completely dried in the arid air so he was allowed in as well.

  Luca followed Erin into the living room. She sank into her office chair and handed him a stack of papers. Luca laughed as he caught sight of the logo.

  “You haven’t said exactly what you were doing, but I know they’re hiring soon.”

  It was a stack of paperwork from the Phoenix Police Department. Luca looked at the papers, not sure exactly how he felt. Then he looked back at Erin. She was bound and determined to hit his emotions.

  “Thank you for this. I’m not sure if I’m ready, though.”

  She waved a hand. “I know. I was just curious and when I looked it up and saw the dates I thought I would tell you now rather than later. It doesn’t say anything about amputations or anything but I don’t think it matters if you can pass the physical part.”

  Curious, he flipped through the pages to the section marked Physical Agility in bold. He used to be able to do everything listed, easily, but that had been months ago, before the injury. Now? He had no idea, but he did wonder.

  He also wondered what the requirements for a canine were. Would Wicked even be able to be considered?

  “It looks like it goes on a case by case basis,” she said softly. “I’m not pushing you into anything but I hoped it would at least give you an idea of what they expected. And it might be a general guideline if you decide to move somewhere else.”

  Luca nodded, lost in thought. Wicked wandered in from the kitchen, the little dog Sophie following him. From a work standpoint, Wicked had several more good work years ahead of him. Could he maybe give him that?

  His mind in chaos, Luca gave Erin a considering look. “You know, when I found out that my mother had given Wicked up, I was pissed. Livid. Still am, kinda. But I think it’s the best thing she ever did for us, because it brought us you. I’m very thankful that you’ve come into our lives when you did, Erin.”

  Before he could think twice about it he leaned down and kissed her, as easily as breathing. She gasped against his lips, and he grinned. It was fucking amazing he could provoke that kind of response.

  When he drew back her eyes had gone dark. One hand was lifted like she wanted to pull him into her again.

  Luca suddenly got a sense of how alone in the world he was. Literally, everyone had moved on with their lives,
his parents included, leaving him to stand on his own two feet. No pun. Wicked was his partner but even he couldn’t ease all of Luca’s fears for the future. Erin was the first one to give him that glimmer. She’d dragged him out of the hole of depression and into the living again, and he doubted she had any idea of what she’d done.

  Luca thought about the way they reacted to each other. Without a glimmer of doubt, he knew he could seduce Erin into a relationship, but he didn’t want her to feel responsible for him. He wanted her to love him, and need him. Luca was man enough to admit that he wasn’t much of a catch right then. No job, basically homeless, enough emotional baggage to fill a dump truck- yeah, he was a real catch. Regret began to fill him as he came to some realizations, standing there looking down at her. Yes, he could take her to bed and satisfy the fuck out of her, but he had to look himself in the mirror in the morning. He was a smart, semi-capable man. He needed to do everything he could to be the man he thought she could see in him.

  With that idea in mind, he drew back. Confusion clouded her expression, but she didn’t push. Her hand fell to her lap.

  “I’m… a little worn out from our walk today,” he told her, and it wasn’t completely a lie. “I might go back to the apartment and chill for a while.”

  “Okay,” she said softly. “The dogs will be running at about six tonight, if you want to join us.”

  He gave her a single nod. “I would like that.”

  Turning, he left through the kitchen, closing the patio doors softly behind him.

  He didn’t join her for dog watching that night, though.

  When he got back to the apartment, Luca set the papers on the counter, then dropped onto the couch to think. Erin had done so much for him…them. But it was time that he stood on his own.

  Whether he liked it or not he needed to pull back from her a little, and find his own footing.

  Chapter 11

  Erin didn’t understand. Something had changed over the past two weeks and she wasn’t sure what. After she’d given Luca the papers for the police department, he’d withdrawn from her. Physically, he was still there, but he’d distanced himself from her emotion. They talked about surface things like the dogs, but she didn’t feel like he was looking for a way to connect with her.

  Had she come on too strong? She had thought it was kind of a mutual thing. Especially with what he’d told her about coming into their lives when she did.

  It had gotten harder to ignore him, too. At first she thought it was because he’d now become forbidden candy. But no, that wasn’t it, she decided. He had begun to rebuild himself, and it was thrilling to watch. At first it was just walks up and down the pasture lane, then she’d looked out one day and seen him actually running. It was a little ungainly, but it had been effective, with Wicked at his side. Then she’d walked into the barn one day and found him doing chin-ups on an iron bar in the rafters. He’d worn a thin T-shirt, but it was saturated with sweat and outlined every muscle down the line of his abdomen and into the low-slung shorts. It had suddenly been hotter inside the barn than outside. Erin had turned and left before she’d done something rash, like demanded to know why he wouldn’t kiss her anymore.

  She never heard anything more about the PD, but then, she wasn’t Luca’s confidant anymore. They talked, but only about surface stuff. That hurt her heart, because she’d thought they’d been reaching some kind of true friendship built on honesty and trust.

  Luca was working toward something, she understood that. First he’d walked the lane, then he’d begun jogging. Again, it was not a smooth jog, but it was Luca’s new rhythm. He drove himself into the VA one day for a rehab appointment, letting her watch Wicked, and the next morning he’d been on the lane with a blade prosthetic for his leg. Then he’d begun to run smoother, and faster. She was so proud of everything he’d done, and if she could have told him that she would have, but he kept his distance.

  It must be some kind of Navy SEAL thing, closing himself off from everyone around him and burying himself in work.

  Her mother called one day. “I thought I would slide over and meet the new tenant,” she said and Erin could hear the innuendo in her voice.

  “I don’t think he’s here, Mom.”

  “Well, where is he? You haven’t said more than a few words about him. I thought you guys were getting friendly. Why all the mystery?”

  “We were,” she sighed, “but I think he’s working on finding himself.”

  Linda sniffed. “I think you all are carrying on an affair and just don’t want me to know.”

  Erin couldn’t help but laugh, though she knew it sounded a little sad. “You’ve got it all wrong, Mom.”

  There was silence on the other end of the line. “Well, I would still like to meet him at some point.”

  “I’ll let him know, Mom.”

  And she hung up. Her mother made her tired. The constant relationship haranguing was tedious.

  Erin continued to do her own work and when the owner of the feed store in town asked her out, ostensibly to talk about a fund raiser for her kennel, she decided to take him up on his offer. It wasn’t like she was doing anything else with her evenings. It would be a nice break to the monotony.

  Sean Cruz was a handsome devil. He came from a long line of horsemen and he’d built a solid business helping his fellow ranchers. Phoenix was a booming, metropolitan community but there were still parts of it that were true country. Sean was a strong part of that community. As they walked into the Stockyard Restaurant, more than one man waved or called out to him.

  During the dinner, Sean kept up a steady stream of conversation designed to entertain and draw his partner in. Erin found herself caught up in the gossip of the area. Sean was a pretty funny guy and she laughed more than she expected to. It was a testament to his wit that he was able to draw her out.

  The steak was fabulous, of course. And when they finally got to talking about the fund raiser Sean had thought about doing, Erin was completely receptive. She had to be careful of the slants some people took to ‘help’ her out in the name of the military. She’d been approached more than once with shady deals to raise money for her kennel and had had to turn them down. Sean’s idea, though, was straightforward, and helped several other local business people too. She promised him she would think about it.

  They talked all the way to her house and Erin appreciated that he was a decent guy, but there was no spark of attraction. Even as handsome as he was, and as community-minded, there should have been some tiny flickering interest, but there wasn’t. As a friend he was great, but it would never be more than that.

  As she greeted her dogs when she walked into the house, she realized she liked them so much more than most of the rest of the world. Greta brought her the floppy orange nylon frisbee and Erin threw it a few times before heading to her bedroom to get changed into nightclothes. The desert had cooled so she cracked a couple of windows, letting the breeze swirl through the house, then let the dogs into the back yard to do their business. Dropping down to the top step she curled her arms around her knees, enjoying the night.

  Greta took off toward the back corner of the fence, tail wagging, and Erin realized Wicked was there on the other side. She wanted to stand up and peer into the darkness for Luca. He had to be there. Wicked didn’t range loose. But she forced herself to stay on the back steps, waiting to take her cue from him.

  * * *

  Luca groaned inwardly, caught in his own trap. When Erin had mentioned she was going out earlier, he hadn’t thought much of it. Seemed like she was always heading into town for dogfood or groceries or something. But when the heavy duty white pickup had pulled in and the tall guy in cowboy boots and hat had jogged up to her front door, he’d been a little stunned. Obviously she’d meant she was going on a date.

  Luca had been pulling out of the drive at the time, heading for a popular hiking trail a few miles away, but he kept glancing back in his rearview mirror. He’d paused at the end of the driveway just lon
g enough to see Erin come out onto the porch and greet the man, her tan legs looking extraordinary in her flirty little blue short-suit thing. He realized he wasn’t breathing as he watched her greet the man, who took off his hat to lean down and kiss her on the cheek. Erin smiled but didn’t do any more than that. Then her golden gaze had swung in his direction and Luca had had to leave.

  The entire time he and Wicked were hiking, he was thinking about Erin with her hair curling softly to her shoulders. The long line of her thighs haunted his thoughts, and that distraction made him fall for the first time in a long time. The blade had dragged going up a rocky patch and he’d gone down pretty hard. Luckily there hadn’t been anyone else on the trail within sight, so he’d salvaged some pride there, but his hands were a little shredded. Plus, his right hand had brushed a cholla on the way to the ground and he could still tell he had some of the tiny spines in his skin. They were in such an awkward position to dig out, though.

  He looked through the night to the island of light ahead of him. Rather than deal with the pain in his hand he decided to go for a night jog on the flat lane. It was so much cooler in the evenings, and with the full moon out there wasn’t much that he couldn’t see. As always, Wicked had ranged ahead and he’d headed straight for Erin and the other dogs.

  Knowing he needed to talk to her, Luca let himself through the side gate and went around the side of the house. Wicked had jumped over the fence and was letting little Sophie lick him in welcome. Erin looked up with a smile when he drew close, but he could see a guardedness in her eyes.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Hey.”

  “A little late to be jogging, isn’t it?”

  Luca lowered himself to the step beside her. “I suppose. It’s cooler, though. The heat really saps you down here.”

  She let out a laugh. “It does, if you’re not used to it.”