“And?”
“Prelim numbers give the impression we could sell it for close to 200. It would be a huge profit.”
“In this neighborhood?” I shook my head. “I don’t know, man.”
“Yes, in this neighborhood.” Neil pointed. “Drive down the road and you will see four brand new houses that have been built. They’re all capes and have sold for closer to 300. I’m telling you, this is going to be a good turn around, especially if we can do it within six to eight weeks.”
“Are you insane? That kind of timeline for a demolition and rebuild?”
Neil grinned. “Challenge accepted.”
“You better be starting today then.” I turned towards the house.
“Crew will be here tomorrow for demo. It won’t take long.” Neil clapped me on the back. “We’ve got this.”
5
Isabelle
I entered Mary’s outer office and hesitated for a brief second before knocking on her open door.
“Come on in, Isabelle.”
Taking my usual spot by her window overlooking the ocean, the silence was palpable today. I knew she was waiting for me to start. I turned and made my way to a chair. “Where to start?”
She smiled. “Anywhere you want.”
I nodded. “The trip was good. It was great to see my grandparents.” I knew I was purposely shielding myself from having to tell her what had happened. Although we had talked about how I was going to handle the confrontation when I went to New Hampshire, I still wasn’t in an emotional place to talk about it.
“You needed to spend some time with them. I’m sure they were a huge comfort to you.” She watched me, waiting for me to confirm this. “And did you see your parents?”
I looked at the floor. “Yes.” I switched gears, protecting my vulnerability over family issues. “And when I arrived home, my apartment had been destroyed.”
A look of shock passed over Mary’s face before her cool demeanor slipped back into her place. “Do they know what happened or who did it?”
“No. There was no forced entry. The police officer asked if anyone had a key.”
Mary nodded. “And did you tell them?”
I looked at her like she had two heads. “Tell them what? About Nick having a key? No, I honestly forgot I had given him one until he showed up last night and was complaining about not being able to get in. I had changed the locks.”
Mary cocked her eyebrow at me. “And?”
“The funny thing is I really don’t want to deal with that right now. He’s acting very jealous and…I don’t know what, but I certainly don’t care to be around that.”
“Okay.” Mary sat back and didn’t say another word.
Silence took over the room. I crossed and uncrossed my legs, fidgeting in my seat. Standing, I crossed over to the window. “What am I missing?” I glanced at her.
Mary just shook her head. “Why don’t you want to be around him? I thought, before you left for New Hampshire, things were going great between you two.”
“They were. I just feel different now that I’m back.” I wracked my brain trying to think.
“How so?” Mary prodded.
“I don’t know. I feel stronger, more confident in myself and how to handle things. But somehow I still don’t want anyone in my apartment right now.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“I guess, because I stood up to my mother.” I shrugged, trying to brush off thinking too deeply about it.
Mary made a note on her pad of paper. “I thought you had gotten past all that.”
“I did…I don’t know. I know that I have been keeping Nick at arm’s length since I got back, but some of it may be the break-in, and getting back to work. It was an emotionally exhausting trip to begin with.” The words just tumbled out.
“Well, let’s talk about the trip to New Hampshire. Did you see Jack?”
“I confronted my parents on not being my parents. To this day my mother still continues to say my suicide attempt was just a moment of not feeling good.” Bitterness laced my words. “And, I am comfortable with my decision to cut her out of my life.”
“You mention your mother, but not your father. Does he feel the same way about the suicide attempt as she does?”
I shook my head. “No. I think he just didn’t want to cause waves.” I made my way back to the chair. “She’s not my mother…but he’s my father.”
“Excuse me?” Mary looked up from her pad of paper.
“Yeah, apparently, my father got my mother pregnant…the sister of the woman who raised me.”
“Well, that’s a mouth full. How do you feel about that?”
I curled my leg up under me. “Really? That’s such a shrink question.”
Mary laughed. “I am a shrink, as you say.”
“I was thrown when my dad told me that. And pissed off. If he was always my father, and knew it, why didn’t he stand up for me when she was berating me and belittling me at every turn?”
“Only he can answer that.” Mary answered.
“I know. But what about me? I was an innocent child. She acted like she hated me just because she was mad that she was raising her sister’s child…although she didn’t know it was actually her husband’s child too.” The absurdity of the whole situation hit me. Laughter just rolled out of me and I couldn’t stop. Tears rolled down my cheeks as Mary just stared at me. Finally getting myself under control, “Sorry. It’s just so…”
“I understand. It’s a situation you have no idea how to handle. It’s stressful and you hurt from it. Laughter is a way of letting that out, for a moment. You have to deal with this, Isabelle.”
I shook my head. “Not now I don’t. I need to deal with the break-in at the apartment.”
“That seems pretty minor, doesn’t it, considering all the other scenarios in your life you are dealing with?”
“I was violated. My home was destroyed, dishes shattered, pictures broken. My poems I had written ripped into pieces.” I trailed off and slumped back into the chair. It was so easy to focus on this instead of anything else. Mary knew me so well.
“Yes, you were. But who would have done this?”
“I don’t know, honestly.” I glanced at my watch.
“Yes, it’s time.” Mary chuckled. “Just when the conversation is getting hard, you get to escape.”
I grinned at her.
“The time to stop self-deflecting will come soon.” Mary spoke as I was leaving. I raised my hand in a wave as I walked out.
6
The week flew by as I threw myself back into work. Within four days, I had pitched two new books to Gayle and she had agreed to acquire both of them. I was excited to work with these new authors. I had a renewed sense of purpose with my job and realized that, although I enjoyed the week off, slipping back into being a workaholic was easier than I anticipated. Friday arrived in a flurry of activity between meetings at work and still trying to catch up from the week’s vacation I’d had.
Nick and I hadn’t spoken much since that night I had asked him to leave. It dawned on me Friday that, although we had been close and he had even told me he loved me before I left for New Hampshire, there had been no physical touch between us since I returned--no kiss, no hug. Since that first night, he had text me very little. The ball was in my court, I supposed, but work was utmost on my mind.
I was just leaving work for the weekend when my phone beeped. You back? Drinks? I smiled. Diane and I had become fast friends and I could use a girls’ night to chat.
Definitely. Flamingo’s?
In 30. Diane was less of a texter than I was. Her one to two-word answers always brought a smile to my face. I would have time to run home and change into something comfy before heading to the bar.
Diane had arrived first. I caught her waving to get my attention as I walked through the door. I made my way to the bar. The place was standing room only already tonight. Friday nights were busy, but I expected something a bit quieter
so early in the evening. Diane had already ordered two margaritas for us.
“There was a couple of empty tables outside.” I spoke as I reached her. She handed me my drink and nodded. We made our way back through the crowd and found an empty table outside.
“Finally. That place is mobbed.” Diane shook her head. “Maybe I’m just getting old, but the party scene this early in the evening doesn’t excite me anymore.”
I laughed. “I don’t know about old, just a change of perspective. I don’t remember ever being out drinking all night like these kids do now.”
“You’re an old soul, apparently. Did you not have your rebellious days of going against your parents?” Diane had no idea how close that statement hit home.
“Not with drinking and partying. They were pretty strict.” I sipped my drink and allowed the stress of the week to wash away. The sounds of the waves against the pier’s pilings was soothing. We sat in silence, each of use sipping our drink.
Diane finally broke the silence. “Well, you going to tell me about your trip?”
I set my drink down on the table. “It was good.”
“Hmm. That’s a vague answer. Come on, details, girl. Did Nick miss you terribly?”
I sat forward. “That’s the odd thing. He’s been irritable and just acting weird. Of course, I’ve been distracted and not been paying attention. The night I got home, my apartment had been broken into and trashed.”
“What? Are you kidding?”
“I wish I was. Most of my dishes and glasses shattered on the floor, all my clothes were pulled from the closet and tossed around my room, although they weren’t damaged.” I thought back to my first view of the mess. It was very deliberate, really. The bathroom was untouched, living room not really destroyed, other than my pictures and then it was just the glass in the frames that was broken. It was the kitchen where the real damage was done, and my cigar box that held my poetry…and used to hold my pictures of Jack and me.
“I can’t believe you are sitting here so calm about it.” Diane’s voice broke into my thoughts.
“I know, right? I guess, although it was a mess, it didn’t feel like an immediate threat. The police thought someone realized I was gone and was just looking for money. Nothing was taken.”
“Could be, I suppose. Have you been staying there?”
I nodded. “Changed the lock that night and the locksmith installed a deadbolt too.”
“What did Nick say?”
“I didn’t call him that night, and in fact when he texted me I told him I was tired and just going to bed. I never mentioned it to him until he said his key wasn’t working when he tried to get in to make dinner before I got home one night.”
Diane sat back. “How did that happen?”
“What?”
“What’s going on that you didn’t even think to tell him, or that you deliberately didn’t tell him. I thought things were good with you two.”
I shrugged and finished my drink. I signaled to the waitress that we wanted two more before I turned back to Diane. “I don’t know. I really don’t. He’s acting weird and, maybe I’m just on edge because of the break-in, but I can’t put my finger on it.”
Diane stared at me. “Izzy, what happened in New Hampshire?”
“You know the issues with my parents, not being listed on my birth certificate. We had a confrontation. I guess I let years of suppressed anger and hurt out. It felt great and I found out about my birth mother. My grandparents finally told me everything and gave me letters she had written to me.”
“Okay.” Diane dragged the word out a bit. “So that’s good stuff. Why the sudden distance from Nick?”
I shook my head as the waitress came over with our drinks. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just too emotionally wiped out to deal with a man.” I laughed, trying to force lightness into the conversation. “Tell me what you’ve been doing while I was gone.”
“Nothing exciting. Same shit, different day.” Diane paused for a sip of her drink. “I have met this new guy.”
“Nothing exciting? Really? Spill the details, girl.” I sat forward.
“Nothing to tell, really. We had dinner a couple of times. I met him at a work function. He seems nice. There just isn’t that spark, you know?”
“The elusive spark.” I laughed. “I don’t think it really exists.”
“Right! What is it with men thinking they are so attracted to you right off?” Diane pondered. “Or what am I missing?”
“I hear ya. I feel the same thing. My first thought is, it must be me. And, of course, you and I are quite alike.”
Diane raised her glass. “To standing on our own and not looking for the unicorn.”
We clicked glasses. “Amen to that.”
The evening flew by and, by the time we were ready to call it a night, Diane knew every detail of my trip and had been sworn to secrecy. I walked home along the beach, shoes in my hand, ankle-deep in the ocean. The cool water swirling around my legs with every wave that came rolling in, washing the stress away. My mind was free, at least for the moment, from the stressors of my returning to Virginia. I love my job, but how often in the past week had I wondered if I really fit in here? Did I need to move somewhere else and start again? Damn, how many times did I have to start over to feel a sense of belonging somewhere?
I knew the answer to that, but I didn’t like it. Or maybe it was the alcohol making me wish for something that wasn’t there. As hard as I tried to block my thoughts away from Jack, I couldn’t. He was still there. My heart and soul still belonged to him. I knew this. The reason, probably, that I was never going to allow Nick into my heart. I have always known that, but I allowed the friendship and company. It fulfilled a basic need for me, but the reality was, I would never love him.
I also knew that Jack was never going to be a part of my life. It was not even a remote possibility at this point. Could I force myself to move on and force myself to pretend to love Nick? Could I fake it until it was real? Would it ever be real if I pretended at first? Talking with Diane had sparked in me the need for not settling for something that wasn’t there just because I needed to move on from Jack. I shook my head and headed for the street and my apartment building across from me. One thing was for sure, life was going to continuing to throw surprises at me. I only prayed that I would be able to handle them with the confidence I’d had in New Hampshire…at least, on this recent trip.
7
Saturday brought dark and dreary skies with the threat of rain. Since it was not raining yet, I sat on my balcony with a blanket around me watching the waves pounding the beach. The darkness loomed ahead of me as I watched the black clouds roll in over the horizon. It would be only a matter of time before the driving rains would come and I would be forced to withdraw inside for the day.
Today I wasn’t in the mood for reading new things or even editing someone’s work. I wanted a down day. I wanted to contemplate life and think about moving. Did I really? Where would I go? Why would I leave the job I had now? Was I feeling this way because of the break-in and, underneath, I truly felt unsafe here?
A knock on the door brought my out of my ruminations. There was Nick, flowers in hand. Yellow roses in a blue cobalt vase. He knew they were my favorite. I sighed. “They’re beautiful.”
“I’m truly sorry for the other night, Izzy. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Me, too. Come on in.” I placed the vase on the side table in the living room. “Let’s just forget it. I think we both were feeling some stress from things going on.”
“I think we should talk about your trip to New Hampshire.”
“No.” I was surprised at the sharpness in my voice. “I’ve talked enough about New Hampshire. How about a movie day and we just relax?”
I could tell Nick wasn’t happy with my answer, but he smiled at me and nodded. “Action or chick flick?”
I wasn’t in the mood for a sappy love story. “Action, definitely.”
I popped some
popcorn and grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge while Nick perused the movie channel. We agreed on a Jason Statham movie and settled in with our snacks and a blanket. The next two hours flew by as we were engrossed in the movie. I was thankful for the mindlessness of just watching TV. As the credits rolled by, I felt myself tense up. What now? It was still late morning and already I was ready for the day to be over.
“How about some lunch?” Nick asked.
“Are you really hungry after the popcorn? I don’t think I could eat.”
“You say that now, but once food gets in front of you, you never seem to have any trouble putting it away.” Nick snickered.
“Funny, although, usually, true.” I relented. “What were you thinking?”
“It has started pouring so I’m not sure I really want to go out in it. Order a pizza?” Nick reached for his cell phone.
“That works. Get what you want. I probably will only eat one piece.”
We were looking for another movie to watch while waiting for the pizza to arrive. I figured if I picked up in the kitchen, I could avoid any unwanted conversation. No such luck I realized as I heard Nick clear his throat behind me.
“Izzy?”
“Yeah.” I turned to face him.
“I really want to talk about this.” Nick, although casually leaning against the wall, seemed so unsure of himself. A pang of guilt hit me that I was, maybe, being a bit unfair to him.
“Talk about what?”
“I acted like a jackass the other night. I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m jealous of a man you aren’t even in contact with.”
I sighed. “I thought we got past this long before I even went to New Hampshire. Things were good until this trip.”
“I know. I want to go back to that.” Nick walked toward me.
“I can’t deal with the jealousy. Jack isn’t here.”
“Not even in your mind?” He stopped right in front of me, but not touching me.
Making the Rules Page 3