by Tey Holden
When Addy came back to bed, she noticed that Karen was awake. “Hey, you are supposed to be sleeping.”
“Yes, but I love to hear your conversations with stinky, the baby monitor was on in the nursery.”
“Oh, shit, sorry and there I was trying not to wake you.”
“I know, but I had lots of fun hearing your chat with the party pooper.”
“You wouldn’t believe how much poop that little one can store. Be on the lookout. She takes her time and then goes for seconds. We are going to have to wait her out.”
***
“Ker, I know that we’ve just had the nursery done in the cottage, but I would like to make a change to it.”
“What change?”
“I don’t like the fact that the baby is going to be so far from our bedroom.”
“What do you mean so far? The nursery is across the hall, our tiny little hall upstairs.”
“Well, hear me out. I thought that if we were to knock down the wall—.”
“What?” Karen turned to face her. “We are knocking down another wall? One day that cottage is going to collapse, if we keep knocking down walls. What wall are we talking about? What is it that you want to do?”
“I want to make a room for her off our room. We’ll put a door to the hallway, but for now that door will remain locked so that the only way to her room is through ours.”
“Addy, if we were to do that, we would lose out privacy because when she learns to walk, we are going to have her in our room every other minute.”
“Well, that won’t be for a while. In the meantime, I’d feel better if I knew she was closer to us and only accessible through our bedroom.”
“Oh, alright, do whatever you want, but the minute she starts to walk, we open the other door and close the one into our bedroom. There will be a door in our bedroom, right?”
“I wasn’t planning, but we could—.”
“Agh!” Karen turned on her side and pretended to go to sleep.
“She won’t be able to get out of her crib, you know? And by the time she does, we will have things changed. I’ll call Sandy tomorrow and ask her to make the changes.”
“Good night, Adriana. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sandy stopped taking our calls. You are too much!” Karen pretended to be annoyed, but in all honesty, she felt good that Addy was so preoccupied with the baby’s safety. A few minutes later, she turned around and put her arm over Addy’s waist.
Addy caressed it and smiled. “Good night, my baby, I love you too.”
Karen said nothing, kissed her and held her, as usual.
***
During the first month, Alex had diarrhea, diaper rash, and colic. On the second month, after her last feeding of the night, Alex was restless and crying. Karen was anxious because nothing they did would make Alex stop crying. “Why is she crying? She can’t be hungry, we just fed her. Could she be in pain? Do you think she is sick?”
“She could have colic.”
“What do we do? Should we call the doctor?”
“Just hold her and pat her back until the air comes out.” As Karen was putting the baby on her shoulder, Alex projectile vomited all over Addy.
“Oh, God, Addy! This cannot be good. We must call the doctor. I read about this projectile vomiting, this could be serious.” Addy was drenched in vomit. “Go change. Oh, Lord, please, help us!”
Addy couldn’t help but smile when she saw Karen’s face and heard her plea. This was the woman who thought she was not a good parent! “Sweetie, all is fine, please, calm down. The baby will be fine. This happens to babies all the time. We’ll call the doctor, but please calm down.” Addy opened a drawer and grabbed another t-shirt and shorts and was changing as she was talking. Alex looked perfectly fine.
“Okay, but still, I’d like to call Jenna.” Karen was determined. Jenna was Gerry’s niece, and Alex’s pediatrician.
“Okay, but I think she’s fine now that she got all that out of her system. She’s sleeping peacefully and she does not have a fever.” Addy took her temperature by placing her cheek to the baby’s head.
“Shouldn’t we get the thermometer?” Karen asked very preoccupied.
“Okay, but I’m sure there is no fever.” Addy went to the nursery and brought the thermometer. It was one of those quick read type that you run over the baby’s forehead. There was no fever. Still, Addy thought that Karen should talk to Jenna for her peace of mind. Once they talked, Karen felt better. The conclusion was that it was gas while feeding her that had caused her to vomit.
Karen collapsed on the sofa. “I don’t think I’m going to make it. She’s so little and fragile, and we never seem to know what is wrong with her. It’s like a guessing game, there’s got to be another way to handle this! I am so afraid to do something wrong and hurt her, or not know what to do and watch her go right in front of me! I have never felt so ignorant about something! No matter how much I’ve read in preparation, I feel totally unprepared. Do you think there might be a class we can take?” She was exasperated when Addy came over and took her hands in hers.
“Ker you are drowning in a glass of water, all of this is normal with babies, trust me. Come on, let’s go to bed, you are tired. What you are feeling is exactly what every parent feels. The little ones don’t come with instructions, and most of the time it’s a learn-as-you-go thing. This is just how it is, and you are not doing anything wrong. You are just another parent, a very good one, if I may say so.”
“Addy, there has to be some procedure, something we haven’t read. I need some standardization, a protocol, a way of doing things! I don’t think I’m going to survive this child!”
“Yes, you will, and so will I. Come on, get over here.” With the panic over, Karen began to relax and cuddled with Addy.
“Aren’t you worried? That vomit caught you by surprise too. You didn’t see that coming, you couldn’t have, with the way it just went out of her mouth like a fountain—.”
“Sssh, sleep, don’t worry so much.” Addy kissed her on the lips.
“Umm, I still feel like I’m going to get a lot of gray hairs and wrinkles early with her.”
“Sssh, no you won’t. Sleep, she’s gaining sleep time on us.”
“That little monster!”
“Sssh, sleep.”
As tiny as she was, Alex took over their lives. Most conversations revolved around her. The flat was packed with baby items of all sorts. A lot of things they had gotten themselves, others they had received as gifts.
The only time when they didn’t talk about the baby was after she had gone to sleep and they were in bed. This had always been their private time, and they had agreed to keep it that way. No baby talk was acceptable then.
Part 9
During the last months of the pregnancy, there had been no intimacy. Even though Addy reassured Karen that she was the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world, Karen paid no attention to her flattery because she didn’t feel good about the way she looked. Karen was even wearing long t-shirts to bed to cover her belly. Even after the baby was born, the road to recuperation from the C-section and caring for the baby had gotten in the way of intimacy, except for tender touches and hugs.
All in all, for a couple that was normally very sexually active, several months of abstinence had been difficult. It was two months after the baby was born that activities in the bedroom rekindled. The baby had been fed and put to bed, and Addy was reading when Karen came to bed and snuggled to her. Addy removed her glasses and kissed her. Karen elongated the kiss, making Addy smile. One kiss followed another and soon Karen’s hand followed the well-known path.
“Ker?”
“Umm?”
Addy grinned. “Ker, if you continue doing that, you are going to stir things up.”
Karen smiled, said nothing, and continued with her gentle strokes and kisses.
“Baby?”
“Sssh.” Karen placed her hand on Addy’s mouth and kissed under her chin.
“You
have an incision on your belly. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. We’ll be careful.”
Hesitantly, Addy turned off the light and began to kiss her and to gently caress her face. “It’s been so long.”
“Yes.” Karen ran her open mouth through Addy’s face and neck and ran her fingers to caress whatever skin was left untouched by her mouth.
“Umm, I’ve missed my Blondie.” When Karen felt Addy’s hand where she craved it, she shivered. Addy’s hands did more than just touch, they worshiped every centimeter of the skin under them. As she felt her way down, she began to place gentle, tiny, warm kisses on her jaw and neck slowly inching her way to the contours of her breasts.
Karen’s fingers sensually brush Addy’s hair as Addy continued to caress and kiss her. Addy’s breath on her neck made her quiver. “I’ve missed you.” Karen moaned.
“Tell me what you want.” Addy asked.
“Everything.” Karen moaned satisfied with her pleasure, then her eyes misted and tears fell.
“Did I hurt you?”
“No, I’m just happy. You feel so good, so perfect.”
Addy kissed the once very sensitive areas. “Is this okay?”
“Yes, yes. Umm. Very much okay.”
Addy came up and smiled. “I think they are actually bigger now.”
Karen chuckled, with tears still in her eyes she slapped Addy on the shoulder and then kissed her ferociously. Addy pulled back smiling, wanting to go slow to compensate for the months of abstinence. She wanted Karen to enjoy and remember this night forever.
Ever so slowly, she continued her downward path and reached the area of the incision. She hesitated, uncertain of how to proceed so as not to hurt Karen, or make her uncomfortable. Karen noticed her apprehension. “It’s okay, baby. I’ll let you know if it hurts.” Addy smiled delighted that her partner knew her so well. “Just don’t look at the incision, it’s ugly.” Addy immediately came up and kissed her on her lips and all over her face. “I think it’s beautiful. When I see your scars, all I see is your love for me.” She touched Karen’s arm. “This one on your arm reminds me that you almost died to save me from drowning in the loch. This other one on your belly gave us our daughter, another life to cherish. You have given me life twice. Your scars are as much yours as they are mine. They are engraved in my soul, as they are in your skin. I love you for each one of them, and I want to kiss them over and over. I don’t think I could ever kiss them enough to show you how much love I feel on account of them.” She lowered herself and kissed Karen’s belly scar gently.
When she looked up, Karen was in tears. Karen placed her hands around Addy’s jaw, and Addy came up to meet her lips. “Addy, you are worth it all.” The tears turned into kisses, and the kisses into a gentle, sublime passion that blinded their thoughts. Addy closed her eyes and paused realizing that this moment was not for her, but for Karen. Karen noticed the switch in pace. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. I want to love you slowly. I want to take my time enjoying you and pleasing you.”
“Addy, I don’t know that I can wait, I want you so bad.”
Addy chuckled. “Relax, and enjoy it. You are my goddess tonight.”
In bed with Addy, Karen allowed herself to be totally vulnerable. She loved the way Addy adored every inch of her and how careful she was around parts that, until now, had been very fragile. Addy was the perfect lover, gentle but passionate. She always knew when Karen was about to peak because her eyes turned a darker shade of green and her eyelids fluttered. Consistently at that particular moment, Karen would start repeating Addy’s name in all sorts of tones and pitches and would grab on to her tightly.
But she was not there yet, Addy searched for all the known signs, sensing her every need, listening for her every want and fulfilling her every desire. Karen had her eyes closed enjoying her pleasure, longing for more of her touch. Addy began her usual sensual talk and Karen’s pleadings began.
“Addy, please!”
No sooner had Addy finished talking, it happened. Karen’s body shivered and shook in an uncontrollable orgasm. When she climaxed, she held on to Addy with such force that she buried her fingernails into Addy’s skin. As she came down from her high, she had tears in her eyes. “Addy!”
“I know, baby, I know.” They kissed and cried together tears of love, of pleasure, of indescribable happiness. Addy combed Karen’s sweaty hair back and kissed her a million times. Karen was so breathless she couldn’t even return the kisses. She was exhausted, but happy. Addy continued to kiss her, holding her tight. Nothing had been left unattended or unappreciated. After so many months of deprivation, feeling, sensing and loving each other seemed unreal. Fortunately for both, Alex slept through the night, and they were not interrupted.
“You need to sleep now. I’ll take care of the baby, if she wakes up.”
“What about you?”
“Sssh!” She kissed the limp body in her arms. “Tomorrow, making you happy tonight was my pleasure.”
Before she closed her eyes and dozed off in the arms of her love, she whispered in her ear. “Baby—.” Addy didn’t let her finish. Her lips silenced her and Karen succumbed to sleep satiated and exhausted. Addy smiled combing the golden strands of hair back and kissing her angel goodnight.
***
Karen slept into the late hours of the morning. When the emerald green eyes opened at around noon, she smiled. The view was adorable. In the rocking chair next to the bed sat Addy, bottle in hand, feeding the little one and lovingly smiling at her. It was picture perfect. Karen remained quiet in bed simply enjoying the happy moment. For all the world had to offer, she wouldn’t change that moment for anything.
Addy looked up and when she found Karen’s green eyes on her, she smiled. “Good morning, sunshine. Did you sleep well?” She knew too well the answer to her question.
On the bed, Karen grinned. “I think I’m still asleep and dreaming. You look adorable holding her. It’s like you’ve bewitched her also.”
Addy smiled. “Well, some of us have certain gifts.”
Karen again smiled. “I’m a true believer of that statement and it seems that the one in your arms agrees as well. You attract women like a magnet, Ms. Marcos.”
“Well, I only want to attract one and distract another.” She looked at the little one in her arms. “She’s so beautiful, Ker. I still can’t believe that she’s actually here, and that she’s ours.”
Karen looked at her. “Is she asleep? Can you put her down in the bassinet? I think I would like to give you a certain gift I didn’t give you last night.”
“Oh, yeah? What kind of a gift would that be?”
“The kind that keeps on giving until you tell me to stop.”
“Ooooh, say no more, let me see if the little bundle here cooperates, don’t move!”
Karen laughed and leaned back on the bed. “Not going anywhere!”
***
Every night after they fed the little one, they spent the entire evening playing with her until she fell asleep.
“Addy, I think it’s time to go back to the cottage. I think everything is fine with the baby and me, and I miss home.”
Addy looked at her lovingly. Home what a beautiful word! “Yes, baby, I think we are ready to go back. I miss home too. And at this point, I feel like we don’t fit here anymore with all the baby stuff. Look at this place!”
“For such a little person, she certainly occupies a lot of space!”
“I don’t even know if all of this is going to fit in the cottage even with the new additions.” Because they were adding the baby’s room off of their bedroom, they also added a room downstairs to support the structure. The room downstairs was designated as a recreation room. Although it would be a while before the baby began to crawl, they ordered a cover and a water alarm for the hot tub. Sandy had instructions to make the entire cottage childproof.
When they moved, the furnishings in the flat remained there in case th
ey needed to go back. And if the flat was ever to be rented, it would be rented fully furnished.
***
Alex was already over two months old when they returned to the cottage. Addy decided that she would drive the day they returned home. “You better ride in the back with the little one, Ker. She might be frightened all by herself back there, especially because the car seat has to be facing the other way, and she won’t be able to see us. Do you remember when is it that we can turn the car seat around to face the front?”
“I have to check the manual, I think she has to be a certain weight, it’s not just an age thing. For now, it’s got to be this way.” Karen replied.
Addy started to drive and when she looked in the rearview mirror she saw the gorgeous green eyes that always took her breath away. Karen smiled knowingly. “Better look at the road, Ms. Marcos. You don’t want to hit any cows today.”
“Very funny, Ms. Larsen.” Addy smiled and continued to drive very attentive to the road. The little one cooed in the back, apparently enjoying her mom’s face. However, the green eyes were focused on the beautiful woman at the wheel who discretely glanced back every so often.
When the cottage was visible in the distance both women rejoiced. Addy was the first one to get out of the car. Noticing that Karen was still inside the car, she came over to help her. “What’s wrong? Why haven’t you gotten out?”
Karen said nothing and slowly got out of the car after taking Addy’s hand to stabilize her step. During the last few months of the pregnancy and up until now Addy had taken a very protective role with Karen. It was interesting to see how their roles had reversed. Karen loved the pampering and the delicate gestures.