Dawn of Eve

by MJ Howson

  “Eve!” Dawn cried out. “Where are you?”

  At this hour, the elevated walkway was devoid of people. The original train tracks were exposed in this section of the High Line, sitting between the fence and the polished concrete planks that made up the pathway. A piece of red velvet, dotted with rhinestones, on the other side of the fence caught Dawn’s attention. Dawn’s eyes widened with joy. There was Eve, leaning against one of the old iron rails.

  Dawn looked at the gap separating the awning from the fence. Much like her terrifying walk from the wall, the distance felt impossible to cross. She kept her eyes fixated on Eve, took a deep breath, and flung herself over the gap, grabbing hold of the railing. When she landed, Dawn used her toes to cling to the edge of the High Line. She gasped, pulled herself upright, and flung herself over the fence, landing on a bed of grasses. Bits of mulch wedged between her toes as she fell to her knees and crawled to the tracks.

  Eve was face down against the rail, her ragged velvet dress ruffling in the breeze. Dawn’s hands trembled as she gently tried to turn Eve over. As she did, Dawn could feel the shattered pieces of the doll inside the dress.

  “No,” Dawn cried.

  She finished spinning Eve over and sat back on the ground, staring at the doll. The left side of Eve’s face was gone. All that remained of her other side was enough to show one eye, locked open. Her porcelain hands were missing, and her sleeves limp. Dawn lifted Eve up, only to have the pieces of her broken body fall from the torn dress.

  Dawn collected the remains and placed them on her lap, using Eve’s dress to hold them. She began to sob. Her sobs soon turned into wails. She couldn’t stop crying. Her body shook uncontrollably as she desperately held what was left of Eve.

  “Jacob murdered you,” Dawn said. She kissed the small part of Eve’s head that was still intact and ran her fingers through the doll’s mangled copper hair. Dawn glanced up at the Spire rising beside the High Line. She struggled to see her penthouse from this angle. Dawn could only imagine the terror Eve must have felt as she plunged to her death. She kissed Eve again and said, “I’m so sorry.”

  Dawn slowly stood up, taking care not to drop any pieces of Eve. She looked through the fence at the glass awning and the wall surrounding the pool deck and realized there was no way for her to climb the wall from this side. The thought of jumping the fence and gap with Eve’s remnants terrified her.

  The 23rd Street exit felt like it was a mile away, but it was the only way she could safely get back home. Dawn cried the entire time as she gently rocked Eve’s remains in her arms. She descended the stairs to 23rd Street and then followed it to 10th Avenue, turning left to head back to her building. Dawn collected glares and laughter as she walked barefoot, swaying Eve’s broken body in her arms, tears covering her face.

  Once back at the Spire, she ignored the flood of questions from the doorman and woman working the front desk. The ride to the penthouse seemed to take forever. Dawn’s arms felt like they were made of lead as she stared at Eve’s ripped red velvet dress in her arms. She still couldn’t believe what had happened.

  Soon the elevator glided to a halt and the doors opened. She scurried through her lobby and into her apartment. Dawn closed the door and said, “Evelyn, revoke all security access for Jacob Jilani.”

  “Security for Jacob Jilani has been revoked,” the smart home system replied.

  “Evelyn, notify the front desk Jacob Jilani is no longer allowed in this building.”

  “Notification sent.”

  Dawn lowered her head and raised Eve’s dress to her face so she could smell her baby’s clothing. She walked to the spiral staircase and made her way to the second floor, stopping at the nursery. The door was still open, and she could see the red stars and nebulas streaming across the walls and ceiling.

  The tears returned as Dawn continued up to the owner’s suite. Pieces of wood covered the carpeting, and the door hung crookedly in its frame. Dawn carried Eve’s remains to her bed and laid the dress down, slowly unfolding it. There was so little of the doll left. Dozens of porcelain pieces clinked together as Dawn ran her trembling fingers through the fragments.

  “I failed you, Eve. I failed you as a mother.” Dawn gently kissed Eve’s fractured head and asked, “Are . . . are you still in there? Can you hear me? Can you?”

  Forty

  SAM

  Jacob watched with curiosity as Sean’s quivering hands searched the folds in the blanket. The bedroom felt unusually quiet, with only the occasional creak from the box-spring breaking the silence. Sean’s revelation that he knew about Jacob’s non-gym clients took Jacob by complete surprise. When Sean finally found his cellphone, a smile spread across Jacob’s face.

  Sean unlocked his phone and swiped until he found the SAM app. He opened the app and scrolled to his Saved Profiles. Sean held the phone up so Jacob could see Taylor’s profile. He said, “I found you.”

  Jacob took the phone from Sean’s hand and flipped through the three shirtless public-facing pictures. He asked, “What makes you think this is me? There’s no face.”

  “Seriously?” Sean pointed at Jacob’s open shirt. “I know those abs. You walk around shirtless half the time.”

  Jacob swiped through the photos again. He’d hired a photographer to shoot the pictures in a studio. All were in black and white, with lighting designed to accentuate his body and leather gear. He knew they were better than every other profile on the app. Jacob looked at Sean and said, “Plenty of guys are built like this. These could–”

  “Enough, Jacob. Just admit it.”

  “Fine.” Jacob stared at Sean’s phone, admiring his pictures. “Remind me to unlock my private ones for you. Those are even better.” He looked at Sean and asked, “So, how long have you known?”

  “That you were on SAM? Oh, um, for a while now. Ever since you told me I should get online.”

  “When I told you to get online, I meant a hookup site, or better, a legitimate dating app. Not some kinky sex service.” Jacob tussled Sean’s hair and added, “Look at you, you little perv. It’s always the quiet ones.” Jacob closed his Taylor profile and briefly browsed through the half dozen other members Sean had saved. He then tapped over to Sean’s profile. After reading it, he asked, “Your username is John-117?”

  “He’s from one of my video games.”

  Jacob groaned and continued to scroll through Sean’s info. Sean tried to take his phone back, but Jacob nudged him away. He sighed and asked, “Why is your profile so empty? No pic. No details. And you haven’t hooked up yet?”

  “No.”

  Jacob glanced through Sean’s profile settings. He said, “I see you’re in private mode, so nobody can find you. Did you create this profile just to stalk me?”

  “No!” Sean snatched the phone away and tucked it between his legs. “One day, you’d left your phone in the kitchen. You were in the shower, and it buzzed with a notification from SAM. I’d never heard of the app, so I went looking.”

  “How long did it take you to find me?”

  “Not long.” Sean picked up his phone and stared at his profile. “I . . . I looked in your bag, too. The duffel bag.”

  “Really?” Jacob demanded privacy and had told Sean when he moved in that his bedroom was off-limits. As much as he wanted to remind Sean of this agreement, he found himself too intrigued to get upset. Pieces of the Sean Stone puzzle were slowly falling into place, and Jacob liked what he was seeing. He smiled and asked, “Snooping through my room?”

  “I . . . I was just curious.”

  “Curiosity is what SAM’s all about.” Jacob put his arm around Sean and pulled him closer. “So, you have some deep hidden sadomasochistic fantasies you need to be fulfilled?”

  “No!” Sean yanked himself free and stood up. “I told you I was just looking. I saw the SAM notification on your phone, and well, one thing led to another.” The anguish in Sean’s voice faded to guilt. “Sorry. I . . . I should have told you earlier. I tried to, a couple o
f times, but . . . .”

  “Sit back down.” Jacob patted the mattress beside him. “I’m not mad, Sean. It’s okay.”

  Sean cautiously sat next to Jacob, keeping one foot on the floor.

  “I’m guessing you have a lot of questions,” Jacob said. “Ask away.”

  “Ask what?”

  “About SAM. It’s okay, Sean. We’re friends, right?”

  Sean lifted his foot off the floor and curled up beside Jacob. He grabbed his phone and stared at the Taylor profile in the SAM app. He looked up and asked, “Do you, uh, charge? To, um, to meet.”

  “I always do a meet and greet to talk to them to see what they’re looking for. Believe it or not, it’s not always about sex. Everyone’s different. Some people are just looking for a hot man on their arm. Others just want to talk. Most are looking for some form of domination, either verbal or sexual. Sometimes both, but not always. Once I know what they want, I set a price.” Jacob gently pried the phone from Sean’s sweaty hand and tossed it aside. “What about you?”

  “Me?”

  “What are you looking for?”

  “Nothing. I . . . I told you I was just . . . .”

  Jacob watched Sean sink deeper into the mattress as if he were trying to disappear.

  “Curious,” Jacob said. “I get it.” It was obvious Sean was not only being honest but also feeling panic-stricken. Jacob smiled and calmly asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I . . . I don’t know. I guess I felt guilty.”

  “Do yourself a favor, Sean, and delete that app. I’ve told you many times what a catch you are. There are some nasty people on there. They’re all liars. Including some you have saved. I only do it for the money. Trust me, as soon as my debt’s paid off, I’m done with SAM. I hate it.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. I don’t like any of my clients. I have to pop a boner pill to get through every sex session. And every time it reminds me that I’m doing it to pay that debt. All I’ve ever wanted is to settle down and build a life with someone.” Jacob briefly closed his eyes and sighed. “I thought that life was with Dawn.”

  “Sorry,” Sean said. “You deserve better.”

  “Thanks.” Jacob leaned over and kissed the top of Sean’s head. “You’ve told me that all along. I should have listened.” Jacob allowed his gaze to slide toward the nightstand and settle on the picture of Sean and his uncle. He put his arm around Sean and pulled him closer. “I’ve told very few people the story about my scar. Even less about my debt.”

  “I won’t tell anyone. You can trust me.”

  “I know I can. You’re . . . you’re a really sweet guy. And . . . you’re kind of easy to talk to. I never noticed it before.”

  “Well, it’s not like we ever hang out.”

  “I know.” Jacob let go of Sean and folded his arms. He let out a long sigh and said, “I’ve been a shitty roommate.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not okay. I’ve walked all over you, and you’ve let me.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “Would you stop being so nice!” Jacob placed his hand over Sean’s mouth to muzzle him. “I’ve been an ass, Sean. Nod that you agree.”

  Sean slowly nodded his head.

  “Let me make it up to you,” Jacob said. “This weekend.”

  Sean pried Jacob’s hand away and said, “I can’t. I’m busy.”

  “That’s what I’m talking about. Let me help you move.”

  “Oh.” Sean shifted awkwardly in place. “You’d . . . you’d do that?”

  “Sure.”

  “But what about the bar? Your . . . clients?”

  “I’m sure I can get Lisa or someone else to cover for me. And the clients can be rescheduled.”

  Sean began to nervously rock back and forth. The thermostat in the hallway clicked off as the temperature finally reached the level Jacob wanted. Sean looked over at Jacob and said, “Thanks.”

  “It’s the least I can do. Honestly, you’ve had to put up with me and my shit for too long. All those times you asked to hang out, and I said no, blowing you off. I was such a dick.”

  “You had your reasons.”

  “Stop taking my side.” Jacob ran his finger beneath Sean’s chin and tilted his head until their eyes locked. “If anyone deserves better, it’s you.” Jacob slid to the edge of the bed, taking the bottle of Patron with him. He stood up and made his way to the door. As he left the room, he said, “Stay there.”

  Jacob felt a buzz as he walked to his bedroom. He removed his shirt and tossed it on the bed. Jacob paused to study his reflection in a nearby mirror. All he could see was the scar running down his face. Jacob ran his fingers over the old wound and said, “Next stop, 432 Park Avenue.”

  Jacob opened his duffel bag and riffled through the contents. Sean may have told him he was nothing more than curious, but Jacob knew better. He’d had more than his share of men and women as confused, codependent, repressed, or submissive as Sean. Or Dawn, for that matter. A pill bottle rattled in the folds of the canvas bag. Jacob twisted the cap open and allowed a blue boner pill to slide into the palm of his hand. He washed the pill down with a shot of tequila and then hid the pill bottle beneath his mattress. Jacob marched back to Sean’s bedroom, bringing the duffel bag with him.

  He stepped inside to see Sean staring at the picture of him and his uncle. Jacob flung the bag onto Sean’s bed. Sean jumped as the bag crashed against his body. “What . . . what are you doing?” Sean asked, his face now white as a ghost. His eyes widened as he stared at Jacob and then the duffel bag. “Wait. No. No, no, no.”

  “Why not?” Jacob slowly strutted across the room, unzipped his fly, and knelt atop Sean’s bed. “You told me you were curious.” Jacob waited for Sean to say something. His roommate looked terrified. Jacob shoved his hands into his duffel bag and retrieved a maroon Bulldog-style harness and a six-foot-long black leather whip.

  “You have a whip?” Sean asked, his eyes filled with fear.

  “It’s just for show. I can also use it to tie you up.” Jacob arched his eyebrow. “Would you like that?” Jacob smiled, but the look of shock on Sean’s face told him he might be going too fast. He slowly put the whip back into the bag. “Look, Sean, I promise to go easy. This is a safe space. Speaking of which, you need a safe word.” Jacob looked at the nightstand with the odd tacky pineapple-themed lamp. “Pineapple.”

  “What?” Sean’s voice quivered with trepidation.

  “That’s your safety word. If things get–”

  “Stop, Jacob. Stop!”

  “C’mon, Sean.” Jacob inched closer to Sean until only his duffel bag separated the two of them. “I’m good at what I do.”

  The only light in the room came from the lamp on the nightstand. Sean moved to the top of the bed, putting some distance between him and Jacob and the duffel bag. In a raspy voice, Sean said, “I . . . I don’t do hookups, Jacob. And I don’t sleep with friends.”

  “Neither do I.” Jacob leaned back on his calves and folded his arms across his chest. “I’m confused. I . . . I thought you liked me.”

  “What?” Sean’s fear faded to confusion.

  “I’m not blind, Sean. I’ve connected the dots. All those times you asked me to hang out. You have my SAM profile saved. I see how you look at me.”

  Sean’s eyes nervously darted as he looked Jacob up and down. He started to say something but stopped himself before lowering his head and looking away.

  “This doesn’t have to be a one-time thing, Sean.” Jacob waited until Sean finally looked him in the eye. “Some of the best relationships start as friendships, don’t they?”

  “I . . . I guess.” Sean wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on his trembling knees. He looked at his X-Box console and said, “I don’t know. I . . . I’ve never been in a relationship.”

  “Really? A sweet guy like you.” Jacob pushed his duffel bag aside as he edged his way across the bed to be beside Sean. “If
this is too much, then I understand. I just thought we were having a moment. It’s okay if you aren’t interested.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “When you said I deserved better, I just thought . . . .” Jacob sighed and lowered his head. He slowly moved to the side of the bed, stood up, and faced the doorway. In a hushed, measured tone, he said, “Obviously, I was wrong. Again.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “It’s okay, Sean. I made a bad call.” Jacob closed his eyes and dreamed of the life he desired. He willed a single tear to breach the edge of his eyelid and spill down his cheek. He turned to Sean and said, “I seem to be doing a lot of that lately.”

  “Look, Jacob, this is just–”

  “I meant what I said about helping you move stuff to your uncle’s place. I’m clearing my weekend for you. If all you want is friendship, I’m good with that.” Jacob pointed at the picture of Sean and his uncle. “You’re a good nephew. He’s . . . lucky to have you.” Jacob grabbed the duffel bag and said, “I’ll see you in the morning.” Jacob spun around, lowered his head, and slowly headed to the door.

  “Wait,” Sean said, his voice filled with desperation.

  Jacob’s crooked smile spread across his face, but he didn’t turn around. “Yes?”

  “Would . . . would you really want to be more than just friends?”

  Forty One

  Transformation

  The smell of coffee, cinnamon, and vanilla filled Dawn’s kitchen. She’d made half a pot a few hours ago, and the carafe was just about empty. Dawn peppered her mug with some ground cinnamon before adding a bit of cream. She inhaled the comforting scent and gently placed the warm cup to her cheek before heading back into the dining room.

  The late morning hour filled her place with abundant indirect light. Eve’s tattered ruby-red velvet dress and remains were laid out on a black towel spread across the white marble dining table. The weathered diary sat nearby. The dress, covered in dirt, had several missing rhinestones. Dawn had spent the morning mapping out every piece of porcelain like a jigsaw puzzle. The only sound in her apartment came from the rush of the wind outside.