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Rocking His FAKE World: A Fake Boyfriend, Opposites Attract Romance (Love You Forever Book 3)

Page 18

by Alexis Winter


  “Say cheese, Uncle Daniel!” Riley says. I look up just in time to have my picture snapped.

  I smile for the picture, but it falls when I look back down at this little baby in my arms. I’ve never been much of a fan of babies, but it’s like I’m suddenly reminded of something I’ll never get. I’ll never get what Riley and Preston have—spending every day of the rest of my life with the woman I love. I’ll never get to have a family with her. I’ll never be the proud father who’s passing out pink bubble gum cigars. Anything I have with any other woman will only be second best, and that’s not fair to her or myself. I deserve to be with the woman I love, and there’s only one woman who can fill that role: Luna. I don’t care how crazy her life is; I want to be there with her. And I’m going to tell her just that when she gets back—that is, if she still wants me.

  Months ago, after she left, I expected a text or call after a few weeks. It’s our usual song and dance: we can’t be together but always end up getting dragged back by passion and need. I figured she’d give in and call, but she hasn’t. She must be serious about this whole go live your life thing. And so am I. She can be out there living her life, and I can be here living mine. But when she gets back, she either has to choose me—be with me in any way, shape, or form we can—or not have me at all. I don’t care how many miles are between us. I can wait forever as long as I know she’s mine.

  Seventeen

  Luna

  I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t know it would be this hard. Daniel was the only thing that got me through the last tour. I knew that in the end, I’d be coming home to him, and that kept me going. But since I was stupid and insisted that while I’m gone, he live his life like I don’t exist, I don’t have that certainty anymore. What if he decides to go on a date and finds the perfect woman for him—a woman who doesn’t travel and has long, dark hair that isn’t dyed a funny color? Maybe he’ll find someone who’s willing to marry him, give him children, and stay by his side. I’ll be devastated and it’ll all be because I was stupid and told him to move on without me.

  Every day is a constant fight to call him, but it’s always the same struggle. To get what I want, I’d have to take from him, and I can’t bear to do that. My phone chimes and I see a text from Riley. I open it to find a picture of Daniel holding a baby who’s wearing a pink beanie. It reads: Uncle Daniel’s first time holding baby Jordan. She’s missing her Aunt Luna, you know!

  I smile at her words and click on the picture so it takes up my full screen. Daniel is handsome and breathtaking. He has dark scruff on his jaw and his hair is a little longer than usual. He probably hasn’t shaved or gotten a haircut since I left. His eyes don’t hold their usual shine and his smile isn’t as bright as it usually is. I can’t help but wonder how he’s feeling. Is he happy? Is he missing me? Is he rethinking his whole life because of me?

  I swipe the picture away and write a reply. She’s beautiful. Congratulations! P.S. I love the name. She was born to be a rocker chick!

  I let the phone fall from my hands and into my lap. Van looks up from across the aisle since he’s sitting on the couch opposite me. “What’s up?”

  “Riley sent me a picture of Daniel holding the new baby.”

  He shakes his head. “Just call him.”

  I roll my eyes. “This isn’t about me, Van. My life is fine. I’m doing what I’m supposed to. It’s about him not waiting around for me, because by doing that, he’d just be letting life pass him by.”

  “Let me see the pic,” he says, leaning forward.

  I bring it back up and turn the phone around for him to see.

  “Yeah, it looks like he’s just letting life pass him by in this scenario too. Call him.” He sits back and returns to whatever book he’s reading.

  I study the picture a moment longer. “You think?”

  “He’s miserable without you, Luna. Even if you can’t be in the same city, you can still be in his life,” he says, not even looking away from the book.

  I get up and go to my room to lie down and think things over. I thought releasing him would give him the freedom he needed to be content, but it seems like all I’ve done is stripped away his happiness. And I know I’ve taken mine away as well. I thought the music would be enough to get me through, but it’s not. Nothing feels as good as it does when he’s mine. Even if he couldn’t come to a show, in my mind, I was still playing for him. But now, I have nothing. What am I doing this for if I don’t have the only man I’ve ever loved?

  But call him? Now? After all this time? Just out of the blue? I think a much bigger gesture is required to say what I need to say.

  But what do I need to say? That I love him. That I don’t care if we can’t spend every day together. Having him in some way is better than nothing at all, and I can only hope he feels the same way. We might not get the traditional lifestyle most people strive for, but something is better than nothing, right? Our lives may be different, but at least they’ll be spent together.

  No, I won’t call him to tell him how sorry I am for screwing everything up, but I will make sure he knows. I get up and grab the folder that holds the list of all our gigs. Now that we’re back in the United States again after a few months in Europe, I skim it to find a show that’s close to Chicago and call Wesley to get a ticket.

  A few days later, the ticket’s delivered to me and I write a note to go with it: Please come. I wrap the note around the ticket, put it in an envelope, and drop it off at the first post office drop box we pass. Two weeks and counting. I hope he comes. I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t.

  The bus is mostly really boring. It’s just the same old people doing the same old shit over and over and over again. The most excitement we get is when one of us finally gets tired of someone else in the band and we argue. Our arguments aren’t just arguments, either. The guys like to wrestle around and I throw things on occasion. It’s all very animated and we don’t take it seriously. We always laugh it off and say we’re sorry later on. We practice on the bus and write new music. When one of us writes a new song, we spend hours upon hours teaching it to the rest of the members.

  Today we get the treat of venturing off the bus since we’re ahead of schedule. Van and I hit up a bar and grill to get some real food and have a few drinks. We try not to drink much on the bus just because it feels like the walls are closing in on us, not to mention it’s hell letting multiple people take turns in the one bathroom as they puke from drinking too much. And being hung over and on a bouncing bus sucks and will make you empty your stomach every time.

  “So, have you heard anything from him?” Van asks as he sits across from me.

  He gives me a look and I know exactly who he’s talking about.

  “Nope,” I reply, shaking my head.

  “Are you scared he might not show up?”

  “Yep,” I say, taking a sip of my Jack and Coke.

  “What are you going to do if he doesn’t show up?”

  I shrug. “Probably give up. I mean, to me, if he doesn’t come, that’s just his way of saying we’re officially done. And if that’s the case, there’s nothing left to fight for, right?”

  He finally looks back over at me and I can see the sympathy in his eyes. “I guess,” he agrees, only making me hope harder and harder that Daniel does show up.

  I finish off my drink and order another when my food is placed in front of me. I look down at my huge burger and fries and breathe in the mouthwatering scent. I almost feel giddy. “Can you believe it? Hot food!” I waste no time as I dig in.

  He laughs and shakes his head. “Well, at least if he doesn’t come, I now know how to cheer you up,” Van jokes.

  “Ha ha,” I mock laughter as I shove another fry into my mouth.

  Later that night, I’m alone in my dark moving bedroom and grab my phone to text Riley.

  How are things going with the new baby?

  Good, but I’m super-tired. Preston and I are taking shifts, but he’s going to have to go
back to work soon. I guess I’m lucky I have Piper right next door. How’s the tour going?

  It’s fine, I guess. I hate to make you be the middleman—or more accurately, middlewoman—but did Daniel happen to mention anything about receiving a concert ticket?

  I wait as I watch the bubbles dance on the screen.

  Not at all. Hey, where are my tickets?

  I laugh. I promise I’ll send you some down the road. I didn’t think you’d be up for a concert after just having a baby.

  Oh yeah, I forgot about that. LOL. So did he call or anything to tell you he’d be there?

  Nothing. Not. A. Word. And it’s driving me crazy. We haven’t talked since I left. I told him to live his life and not let me hold him back—that he needed to move on from me. But now I’m scared he’s moving on without me! I know, I’m stupid.

  LOL. Not at all. I completely understand. And if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think he’s moving on without you. He’s had a few dates, but nothing serious and never a second one with any of them.

  Reading that he’s been on a few dates makes my heart sink. I know that I did this. He would’ve been completely fine waiting for me just like he did last time, but I thought he needed to be set free. I thought being selfless was the way to go. But who was I kidding? I’m not selfless. I don’t want to be without him. What if he’s mad at me? What if he doesn’t show up because he doesn’t feel like it’s that much of a gesture?

  I decide to ask Riley. Is he mad at me?

  No, I think he’s more sad than anything. Sad that he’s here without you—that you’re not his anymore. He’s probably afraid you’re moving on without him.

  He probably is. He probably thinks I never told him I loved him because I don’t love him. He probably figures I was using him for sex or company. What if he’s heartbroken because he loves me but thinks I don’t love him? When I see him, I’m going to tell him I love him. It’s time to let those words out. It’s time to let him know how I feel.

  Riley continues. If you sent him tickets, there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s going. He can’t stand the thought of living without you, Luna. And we’re all here backing him up. We love you too, you know. You two fit in perfectly with our family.

  Thanks. That means more than you know. And when you’re ready to rock again, just say the word. You’ll have tickets and backstage passes mailed out that day.

  Squeeeee! Can’t wait. Take care and don’t be a stranger.

  Same.

  I drop my phone onto the bed at my side and imagine how the night of the upcoming concert might look. I can see myself on stage, playing the guitar, and singing directly in front of him. I can picture that heated gaze of his watching me. I see the moment I stop the show and profess my undying love for him—pulling him up on stage and kissing him like I’ve been dying to for so long now.

  But on the other hand, I can see myself taking the stage, looking at his empty seat, and never getting to say the words that are eating me up inside—the ones that are dying to come out. For the first time in a long while, I pray. I pray that he comes back to me, that he lets go of our weird past, and that he knows I love him as much as he loves me. I pray that he comes and listens to every word I have to say. I pray that he loves me and wants to be with me. I pray that we get our happy ending once and for all.

  Eighteen

  Daniel

  I get home from work and walk into my building, stopping at the mailboxes before hitting the elevator. I pull out the stack of envelopes and stuff them under my arm as I make my way to the elevator and ride it up. I start looking through the stack, but get distracted by the new Jeep catalog folded in half.

  When I walk into my apartment, I toss down the stack and take the catalog to the couch with me. I look it over, thinking about trading in my car for a new Jeep, then decide it would be a stupid move as long as I’m living in the city. I throw the catalog into the recycling bin and move to my bedroom to change into some gym clothes.

  After working out for the next two hours, I’m back home and ready to shower and eat. I finish up with both tasks around 9 p.m., and I’m so tired that I’m falling asleep on the couch. My phone rings and I jump awake.

  “Hello?” I answer.

  “Hey, you weren’t asleep, were you?” Calvin asks.

  “No, I was just nodding off a bit while watching TV. What’s up?”

  “I mailed you some client information for your meeting tomorrow. Just wanted to make sure you got it.”

  “Oh.” That’s when I remember that I never finished going through the stack today. “Let me check.” I force myself to get up and grab the pile, bringing it back to the couch with me. I drop it all onto the table as I sort through it.

  “How’s Matt working out?” Calvin asks as I sort through the pile.

  “Electric bill. Water bill. Credit card bill. Bank statement. Oh, here it is.” I pick it up and notice the last envelope beneath it. There isn’t a return address, but I know from the handwriting that it’s from Luna.

  “Uh, um,” I try to gather my thoughts after seeing her name on the envelope. “Matthew. He doesn’t like Matt. He’s good—crazy good, actually. Pretty sure he’s got it bad for his assistant who hates his guts, so that’s amusing.”

  “Yeah? That has to be funny to watch, as long as they don’t have an all-out war and burn the office down,” he chuckles. “Well, thanks for confirming you got the files. Now I can go to sleep.”

  “All right, talk to ya later.” I drop the phone and pick up the envelope with her handwriting. She’s written my name and address across the front in pink ink. I lift it to my nose and can smell her perfume on it. I breathe it in deeply as my eyes flutter closed. Memories of the last time she was in my arms flood my senses.

  I pull the envelope back and study it some more. Opening this is like opening Pandora’s box. Who knows what’s inside? I could easily open it and see, but once I do, there’s no going back. What if it’s bad news? She’d call me with good news, wouldn’t she? It could be something to do with the band, and that’s why it was formally mailed. I am their lawyer, after all. With a long sigh, I bite the bullet and open it. There’s a piece of paper inside and I pull it out, unfolding the top portion. It reads: Please come.

  I unfold the bottom half to find a ticket for a nearby show. The show is next week and it’s a front-row seat. I wonder why she wants me to come to the show. Does she want to get back together? Is this some kind of olive branch? Or does she just want me there to have a pre-show quickie like before? I shake my head and drop everything on the table as I head to bed.

  But sleep doesn’t find me easily or quickly. I’m too concerned with what that ticket could mean. Our whole relationship has been a tug of war. We knew we shouldn’t start something, but we couldn’t stay away from each other. Even now, when she’s God-knows-where in the world, I’m still having to restrain myself from going and finding her and making sure she knows she’s mine. How am I ever supposed to get over her if she won’t let me go? She said she was releasing me, and I’ve been miserable the whole time. I guess there’s only one way to put this to rest. If I go to the show and she wants nothing to do with me, then we’re done and that’s all the closure I’ll need. I’ll force myself to forget her if that’s what it takes.

  As busy as I keep myself, time passes by quickly, but it also moves unusually slowly since I have something to kind of look forward to. I don’t know how things will go, but I can’t wait to find out for sure. I make the drive to the concert a few towns over and traffic is horrible—inside the city and out. It’s like everyone in the area is going to the same place. By the time I make it inside the venue, the concert has already started and I feel like an ass for not arriving earlier. What if she wanted to talk before the show? I wasn’t here and now she probably thinks I’m not coming at all. But I guess one more surprise can’t hurt.

  I grab a beer and make my way to my seat. Everyone in the place is up out of their seats—screaming, singing
along, and jumping up and down. I get to the first row and have to squeeze through people to find my seat. I look up at her on stage but she hasn’t seen me yet since she’s off to the side, giving the other half of the room the attention they deserve.

  Slowly, she makes her way back to the center of the stage and her head goes down, watching as her fingers quickly slide over the strings of her guitar. She looks up and her eyes lock on mine. She’s absolutely beautiful up there. She’s dripping with sweat and her white tank top is soaked, clinging to her body and black bra. Her black skirt is short, showing off her sexy legs, and she’s wearing her favorite black combat boots. Her hair is completely black now—no purple or green—and she’s breathtaking with her red lips and darkly-lined eyes. She offers the smallest of smiles but can’t exactly stop her performance to greet me. The show must go on.

  I stand up, watching her. Every few minutes, she looks back at me like she’s afraid to take her eyes off of me for too long for fear I’ll disappear. She wraps up the song and leads into another. I watch her and she watches me for the next hour. The show should be winding down any minute now, and finally, the music stops but the crowd cheers on.

  She stands there, looking at me and then the rest of the crowd, waiting for them to chill. They eventually do and she steps up to the mic stand. “This is a really special night, because I’m going to play a song that’s not on our album.” The crowd goes wild. “Hell, no one outside the band has even heard it.” This only makes them cheer harder and louder. “But before I do, let me tell you a story about how this song came to be.”

  She pauses for a moment then continues. “You see . . . there’s this guy.” There are a few catcalls and Luna cracks a smile. “And this guy wasn’t supposed to be much of anything, right? We were casual, but we both knew it wouldn’t last. I mean, how could it? The band and I were about to get signed by our label and go off on tour. We were so new that making any kind of commitment was silly. So we both agreed to be together while I was in town, then let go when the time came for me to leave. But here’s the thing about that . . .” She giggles into the microphone and it makes the butterflies in my stomach take flight.

 

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