Resist Me (Unchained Attraction Book 4)

by K. L. Shandwick

  I loved him deeply, barely believing how my life had turned out since I’d gone all-in with him. James was the love of my life and to think I had almost missed what we had, tugged at my heart.

  My thoughts turned to my family, now minus one since my mom was gone, and another wave of relief mingled with anticipation came over me. With Marnie sharing my secret, only one more person needed to know for me to finally free myself from the torturous fear of my family finding out.

  Soft lips pressed against mine and I inhaled deeply as my eyes fluttered open. James stood over me, freshly showered, in a clean T-shirt and jeans, and holding a cup of fresh coffee. My gorgeous man fresh from the shower was my favorite fragrance in the world, and I inhaled deeply when he’d bent forward and kissed me softly again on the lips as part of my wake-up call. Stretching leisurely, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and yawned.

  “Morning, beautiful,” he murmured, quietly with his heartbreaker smile. “Yesterday must have wiped you out. You were dead to the world when I got up an hour ago.” He winced at his reference to death. Dawn had been breaking by the time I fell asleep, but I’d felt no need to burden him by telling him that.

  Clumsily I pulled myself up, adjusted my pillows, and sat back against the headboard. Taking the cup of coffee from him, I took a sip of the steaming black liquid. “Mm, I need this.”

  “Tough day, yesterday. Marnie just told me she and Franco are moving in with your dad for a while.”

  “They are?” I felt relieved he wasn’t going to be on his own.

  “Yeah, I was suggesting he come to New York for a while, but Marnie told me they had him covered. It makes sense since Franco is around during the day so he can take Lester for rounds of golf or to the firing range. They also both love Indy car racing so they’ll watch that on TV. I think they have plenty to distract your dad and keep him busy for a while. Marnie has given instructions to go home and deal with whatever you have going on, call your dad twice a week to check in, and come for dinner on a Thursday night, when you’re back in New Jersey.”

  To know James had been willing to look after my father was further confirmation as to what an amazing man he was. “You’d have had my dad stay?”

  “Of course, he’s your father,” he replied, and sat on the bed beside me. The upward affection in his tone made it sound like that was the only explanation necessary.

  I reached out with my free hand and cupped his cheek in my palm. “Thank you. It sounds as if they have a handle on things. It’s still going to be a struggle walking out of the door and leaving him behind, today.”

  “Yeah, I know, baby, but he’s got Marnie and Franco, he’ll be well cared for and isn’t going to be alone.”

  I nodded, swallowing back a swell of emotion and looked into his trusting eyes. “Right. It’ll give Marnie time to absorb what I’ve told her as well.” James caught me in a concerned stare and searched my face.

  “Marnie really is okay about Erin. She thanked me, for helping you both and for taking care of you.”

  “I thank you for taking care of me as well. Your life has been nothing but drama since I’ve been on the scene.”

  “I’d rather a life full of drama with you in it, than a carefree life without you.”

  “You say stuff that makes me swoon at times, James Wild.”

  “Then I’m glad because you’ve dealt with some heavy shit for quite a while.”

  “Yeah, at times I feel like I’m in your way.”

  “Tricia, you are my way, and I’m delighted about that. A future without you would devastate me now.”

  “Damn, James, stop it. I used to think Sawyer was the romantic lover in your family, but I believe that gene has been split evenly between you.” He chuckled.

  “Nah, I can’t write love songs or serenade you like my little brother can.”

  “I think you probably could if you tried, but you’re more of a physical badass.” He grinned wide.

  “Macho man, huh?” he asked, wagging his brows.

  “Now you just look corny,” I teased.

  “So corny, I’ve arranged a day on the boat. You, me, a picnic, some wine, although not too much, drunken boat driving isn’t a great idea. I’m still learning the waterways around Sawyer’s place.”

  “It sounds perfect.”

  Waving goodbye to my dad brought tears to my eyes as we drove off his homestead and onto the open road. My father’s dream had come true when they’d moved from the eighty-acre plot we’d had in Ohio to the two hundred and forty-acre one he had in New Jersey.

  A flashback came to mind of how boastful my mom had been about that, and how disappointed she was that she couldn’t show everyone back home their upgrade.

  “Do you think your dad will stay here?” James asked, as we drove off my dad’s land.

  “Yeah, I wasn’t surprised when you told me Marnie was staying. All three of them are outdoor people. I can see them selling their place and moving in permanently now mom has gone. Dad shouldn’t still be working, but he’s so proud and he desperately needs a hand, and from what Marnie had told me a while ago, Franco has already been spending a lot more time with him.”

  James mulled my answer over and hummed. “I’m glad about that, because you don’t need anything else to worry about right now … and it’s time you began focusing on what makes you happy.”

  “You make me happy,” I blurted without hesitation, and was rewarded with a sexy boyish grin.

  “I hope so … I’m trying,” he replied, reaching over and clasping his fingers in mine. Drawing them toward him, he rested our hands on his muscular thigh. My gaze dropped to them and focused on how small my fingers looked in comparison to his strong protective ones.

  “I’m up here, baby, stop staring at my junk.” I hadn’t been looking, but automatically glanced at the bulge in his jeans at his prompt before I looked back up at him.

  “Is that what you think I was doing?”

  “Can you put your hand on your heart and tell me you weren’t?” he asked playfully, with a raised eyebrow.

  “If you must know I was comparing our hands,” I replied, sounding a tad indignant, even though I thought he’d been funny.

  “And my junk … our hands and my junk,” he insisted, casting a sideward glance at me with a wicked smirk on his face.

  “I wasn’t looking—until you mentioned it,” I said, chuckling.

  “Ah, there you go, a confession. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” he asked, looking back through the windshield as the traffic ahead came to a halt.

  “Pretty rigid from my angle, actually,” I teased, falling in line with his playful mood.

  He turned and smirked at me. “Now there’s that sassy woman who drew me in. I can’t wait to get you on that boat. We’re going to christen at least one of those surfaces today.” A small thrill ran through me when I heard the raspy tone in his voice, and I chuckled again.

  “Only one? And you are presuming I’ll let you?” I grinned when he tilted his head to the side and considered my response for a moment.

  “They’re moving, James,” I prompted, pointing out his distraction.

  Switching back into drive, we pulled away slowly and he eyed me quickly again. “Oh, you’ll let me … you’ll be begging for it by the time I’m done.”

  “Damn, you’re sure of yourself,” I mocked, laughing again.

  “Nope, just sure of you … ‘Oh, James, just like that … Oh, right there … keep doing that,’” he teased, moaning and making mewling noises in between.

  “I have a good mind to keep my legs closed all day just to spite you for that,” I said, pretending to be irked by his comment.

  “Bet you don’t. That would be like biting your own nose off in order to spite your face,” he said laughing.

  “That’s it. Stop the car, I’m getting out,” I joked, as we pulled into Sawyer and Billie’s driveway. He laughed heartily and stopped, pushed down on the emergency brake, and turned to face me as far as the steering
wheel would allow.

  “You want me to take you home or do you want to come for a ride on me …” He shook his head quickly as if to correct himself. “I mean my boat … a ride with me on my boat.” I stared intently, loving how happy he made me and tilted my head, as if I were considering his choices. “Don’t stretch your neck like that, unless you want me to bite it,” he added, nodding toward the flesh I’d exposed.

  “You’re not endearing yourself to me, James,” I mocked, and suddenly the connection we had made us fall serious.

  Leaning across he swept wisps of hair from my face and tucked them behind my ear. His tender touch and intense stare floored me. “I’m not, eh?” he asked quietly. His low seductive tone made my pulse instantly soar.

  “Oh,” I scoffed, “get out of this car before I really do ask you to take me home to teach you a lesson.” I’d been joking of course, wild horses couldn’t have dragged me away from him and the thought of an afternoon on the ocean.

  “Hm, a lesson, sounds intriguing … you drive a hard bargain, Ms. Mattison,” he teased again. “Okay, I’m doing as you ask, but if any of those kids happen to be home and they ask if they can come with us, we’re on pirate patrol today and the mayor of the town said all kids must stay at home.”

  I chuckled as he opened his door, got out, and pulled a bag from the trunk. As I got out of the passenger side, he leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “That excuse I just gave you extends to Sawyer and Billie as well. You’re bright enough to adapt the sentence to fit the audience.” I laughed. Winking at me, he grabbed my hand, and we made our way inside.

  As luck would have it, Sawyer had taken the kids to an ice-cream parlor and so we made a quick getaway on the boat alone. The weather was stunning, and once I had changed into the bikini James had packed for me, I spread out on a lounger in the sun.

  Around ten minutes out, he killed the engine and changed into some blue-colored board shorts and joined me on the back deck. Carrying a bottle of champagne and two glasses, he placed them down on the small table beside the double lounger.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” he said with a tight smile, as he crouched down and gave me a quick kiss before doing the drinks. There was something about his behavior I couldn’t put my finger on, but I had found it a little unnerving. Pouring the wine in both glasses, he placed the bottle in a cooler in the shade and settled down beside me.”

  “How does it taste?” he asked, when he saw me sipping the champagne.

  “Good, not too sweet, medium dry?” I asked regarding the flavor.

  “Yeah, it’s from a California vineyard … a pet project my father’s been investing in.” Taking a sip of his own, he looked out toward the horizon. Sitting quietly, we enjoyed the sound of the waves for a few minutes until I heard him inhale a long breath. “I know your mom just died and you only buried her …” My heart pumped wondering if he had been about to propose to me, but when my eyes met his he looked as if what he was about to say would upset me.

  “Yeah?” I asked, not sure my heart could have taken another hit.

  “I’ve tried not to push you this past year, but it’s my mom’s birthday tomorrow. I know the timing sucks, but if you’re up to it, I’d like to take you home to formally meet my family. I was going to suggest we go to The Hamptons for the celebration last week, but we got the news about your mom. We missed it last year because my parents were on a cruise, and you weren’t in a good place anyway, and we also missed Christmas with them. This time, I don’t want to go alone, and I can’t miss it. Your experience with your mom has taught me how amazing mine has been, and she deserves better from me.”

  “You’ve never asked me to go before …”

  “I know, that was because you were in therapy and I didn’t want to add to the pressure of what you were dealing with. Truth is, I’m tired of fielding questions about why I haven’t taken you to meet everyone, and I’d really love them to know you properly. Before Denver, I’d been doing better at visiting my sisters and their families, but since I met you again … not that I’m complaining. We’ve been caught up in life and one another, but I can’t neglect them any longer. They were used to me not being around much when I was with Charlotte, but since then I’d been doing better at keeping in touch.”

  “Of course, I’ll go with you. You should never have neglected your family because of me.”

  Relief immediately relaxed his face and his stern worried expression dissolved in front of my eyes. “Great,” he beamed, flashing a sheepish smile that told me he was embarrassed. “Thanks, it’s been a while since I’ve seen Tammy and Caitlin, their families too, for that matter. I’ve … missed the kids,” he disclosed hesitantly. “They’re all flying in this weekend for the celebration. The timing sucks, but I’m really glad you want to come with me.”

  “Oh, what will I wear? It’s a massive deal being taken to ‘meet the parents.’ It must mean you’re serious about me,” I teased.

  “Serious? Baby, we’re as serious as it gets. Besides, my mom will be out buying a hat for the wedding. I’ve never taken a woman home. Me taking you home to them will be a massive deal to everyone.”

  “You took Charlotte,” I reminded him before I’d thought better of it.

  “Yeah, but that wasn’t really on my say-so. You know the story. She had hung around our house since she was a kid, her family and mine go way back. I didn’t take her there by choice. Taking you home with me is very different,” he told me and smiled.

  “What about Juliette? Didn’t you take her to meet them?”

  “No. I have never taken a girl that’s held my heart to meet my parents.”

  “Hm, that makes me feel special.” I grinned, my heart fluttering at the deep gaze he’d focused on me.

  “Baby, you’re very special. I know we’ve been through some shit, but believe me, you’re so worth it. Even while you dealt with all this dark stuff, the lighter moments we’ve shared have more than made up for those.” The adoring look in his eyes melted my doubts. “I can’t wait for my mom and sisters to get to know you better. They’re going to love you.”

  I felt less confident about that statement. At Billie’s wedding, Tammy, his eldest sister had appeared the perfect mother of three girls, Milly, Bella, and Bethany. Caitlin, next in age, had adopted a son, not to mention that their mom and dad had five terrific children themselves.

  “What?” he asked, smoothing the crease on my brow. “Are you overthinking again?”

  “Not overthinking, but I’m conscious of how close your family is. Facing them about my past isn’t going to be easy.” My mind filled with dread at the thought.

  “My parents are liberals … they’re the least judgmental people I know. They’ll love you because I love you. Trust me, baby. You’ve met them all briefly at the wedding, and Lorna again at Hammer’s party.”

  I had only ever conversed with Lorna, James’ youngest sister, about Billie, and although she’d seemed friendly enough, the conversations between us had been polite and to the point. The only thing we had in common was our roles as bridesmaids at Billie and Sawyer’s wedding.

  Also, Hammer had introduced Lorna to me, and although she’d been perfectly relaxed in his company, she was everything I wasn’t. She and Hammer made for odd friends, him being a bulked up, tattooed, ex-addict drummer to her elegant and refined 'Swiss finishing school socialite persona.’

  “What do I have in common with that one? Lorna’s so … posh.”

  James chuckled. “She came out of the womb looking and talking the way she does. She can’t help her genes. She teaches teenagers English, and I’m sure if they can relate to her, you’ll have no problem.

  “Tammy and Caitlin were nice enough to me at Sawyer and Billie’s wedding, but I thought everyone was polite at the ceremony and dinner. I never got the chance to talk to them in casual circumstances.”

  “This trip will be your opportunity to do that,” he replied, sliding closer to me and smoothing down my hair.

  “
You don’t have to talk me into going with you, just don’t expect me to be the person they met before.”

  “It’ll be great. A day or two in South Hampton is just what you need.” Reciprocating his smile, I tried to look happy, but the more I thought about meeting his family, the less prepared I felt.

  Shaking off that feeling, I rolled onto my front, stretched my arms above my head, and closed my eyes. The warmth of the sun on my body soothed my worries and calmed my mind. James and I fell into a comfortable silence as we lay on the boat and let the world pass by.

  Due to not sleeping much the night before, I fell asleep again. James woke me up peppering kisses across my back.

  “Wake up, baby, you’re beginning to burn in the sun,” he murmured, as his lips continued to explore, which of course led to us having sex, the kind of sex we’d had when we had first met.

  Our intimate session had felt raw and deep and dirty. The kind of magnetic connection that had drawn us to one another in the first place, which ignited the kind of sexual chemistry neither of us had the power to resist.

  Afterward, we lay naked together with my head resting on his chest. I listened to his strong steady beat of his heart and found the sound of it calmed me. I sighed contented and silently thanked the universe for bringing James into my life, right when I’d needed him.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Since I’d disclosed the adoption to James and entered the therapeutic process, I had felt a shell of the woman who had been strong and forthright, the woman James had fallen in love with. For my trip to meet his family, I knew I had to find that confidence I had somewhere inside to remind my boyfriend and show his family why he had fallen for me in the first place.

  He parked the car, and I was immediately reminded of his family’s wealth when I glanced around the expensive vintage cars left casually parked in the grounds. Even my father knew to park his truck in the barn out of the sun during heatwaves and it was a heap of old junk.