“How did I not know? How could I not know this? How could she have excluded me from such a monumental decision. If you had wanted to keep your baby, I’d have supported you to do that, Tricia. And that’s not just me saying those words in the aftermath of all of this.” I believed him.
“Can I ask … who is the father?”
“That doesn’t matter now, Dad, besides he’s dead.”
“Donovan Clark? It was him?” My dad was far more astute.
How could he know that?
“How do you know?”
“You spent a lot of time with him and you broke up with Brad.”
I nodded. “I never told Brad, nor Donnie, I was having Donnie’s baby. I never told Mom either.” I felt ashamed. “Dad, I didn’t sleep around …”
“Of course, you didn’t,” he agreed, like he knew me well.
“I’m so sorry. When I saw that photograph, I couldn’t imagine that you didn’t know. This makes that visit even more sinister. She took us both there knowing what she did, and left us both ignorant to the true facts surrounding that visit.”
My dad shook his head, looking a truly broken man and guilt washed over me again. He had recently lost his wife and a mistake I’d made at sixteen had robbed my father of living his last final years in peace.
“Over the years your mother did many unkind things. They had made me wonder at times whether she had any empathy at all. Everything from crass unsympathetic comments to downright deliberate acts designed to hurt the feelings of others appeared to have given her satisfaction, but I never once imagined it could have extended to something as heinous as that visit. I have a grandchild? A granddaughter who must be … that little girl was about six, right … she must be—?”
“Thirty-one,” I responded. One word that told him how much time he had lost with someone so precious.
In my eyes my father had always been larger than life, a strong, protective, hard-working man, but he dissolved sobbing with his face in his hands. My heart shattered that after all those years I’d hidden my pain, I could only watch as he showed us his.
“When can I meet her?” he asked several minutes later, once the news had sunk in. Marnie rubbed his back as he stared over at me. “There are some letters …” he started and dissolved into a fresh bout of tears.
“I told her,” Marnie replied. “And she’s seen them,” she confessed.
“You knew too?” he asked my sister, a hurt look in his eyes that everyone knew but him.
“Only a month, Tricia told me about Erin after Mom’s funeral.”
“Erin? That’s her name?” he mused for a moment then shook his head. “Now it makes sense. I thought the later pictures in those letters were of you, but then again I knew they weren’t. It was the eye color that threw me off,” Dad said, thinking out loud.
“Yes, her eyes are hazel. You’ll meet her after the will reading … I’ll arrange something.”
“Erin,” he repeated, trying out the name again. “Pretty name,” he remarked as he continued to try and absorb what I’d told him.
I studied him closely with a heavy, aching heart. Suddenly he looked all of his almost eighty years of age, worn and confused, and no matter what anyone said, it was on me he looked that way.
Shortly after our conversation, Marnie persuaded him to rest. He’d had a terrible shock and was exhausted from it. We stayed at the house for a few hours until he finally woke. We talked again and Dad was stronger that time, asking all the questions that had formed in his head.
“In one of those pictures they sent, your daughter looked exactly the same … except for the eyes. That picture … it’s how I remember you at that age. I’d have to admit, I was speechless when I saw the resemblance. I can’t wait to meet her.”
“She’ll be thrilled you want to,” I replied, my heart pounded at the thought of that. “And I can’t wait to see the two of you together, Dad. She’s going to love you as much as I do.” Dad reached out and took my hand, squeezed it tight, and shook his head.
“I’m sorry,” he choked, and I leaned over and hugged him. It had felt cathartic. “I hate that you went through all of that. It was a very wicked thing your mother did, and I’m glad she’s not here because if she had …” he paused and shrugged helplessly. “There’s no telling what I would have done. Now that I know this, it’s going to help me not to miss her in the way that breaks a man’s heart.”
Marnie gave me a sad smile, stepped forward, and rubbed Dad’s back where he sat. I was satisfied my dad had nothing to do with my mom’s horrible cruel visit that had obviously been for her own benefit.
Before we left that day, James told my father we had gotten engaged, and I was surprised my father had already been asked his permission on the visit to my parents’ house the first time they met. He told Dad and Marnie he had been waiting for the perfect moment to ask me, until he couldn’t wait anymore and created one for himself.
My father told me he’d given his blessing the first time he’d met James because he knew he’d take care of me, and he thanked him for standing by me in the face of everything he’d learned since being with me. Seeing the two men shake hands, united in their support, made my heart swell with love.
Chapter Twenty-Three
When we’d heard about a will reading for my mom, we wondered how necessary it was. As far as we were aware there hadn’t been much to resolve. My father had bought their home and land in New Jersey and transferred it immediately into my sister’s and my name, on the inheritance advice he’d received from his financial advisor. Therefore, we had thought the only thing that had to be addressed was the joint bank account she’d held with our dad.
It had felt farcical dragging us all to her lawyer’s office in New Jersey to be told the money in their account reverted to Dad and the few pieces of jewelery she owned would likely be shared between Marnie and me.
When we arrived at the young lawyer’s office, she behaved with a sombre sense befitting the occasion and had appeared highly efficient as she guided us into a small conference room.
After seating us, she had her clerical assistant bring us coffee. Once this had been offered, she smoothed her slimline skirt down and sat in front of us with a grave expression on her face. Clasping her hands in front of us, she gave us a tight smile.
“Thank you for coming today. Before we get down to legal and financial matters, perhaps we could do a brief round of introductions. My name is Holly Dame and I’ve been Elizabeth’s lawyer for a little over six years now. I took over from Mr. Trent, who retired back then, and Elizabeth took that opportunity to update her will. I was informed of her death by the funeral home Elizabeth had instructed, and whose added instruction was to contact me on her death. I’m guessing you are …” Unclasping her hands, she lifted a pair of spectacles that hung around her neck and looked through them, reading from the papers in her folder. “Lester Patrick Mattison?” My father nodded.
“I’m Tricia, and this is my sister, Marnie and her husband, Franco,” I replied, concluding the introductions and preventing them from becoming protracted.
“Thank you,” she replied. Gripping the underside of her chair, she shuffled closer to the large, shiny redwood table that took up most of the room. Three folders were distributed to us and one was kept to the side.
An ornate looking bunch of papers sat atop a box file and I guessed that was my mom’s actual will.
“Elizabeth has named you, Mr. Mattison as executor of her will.” With another tight smile she broke the seal. The document was folded into thirds, which she opened and smoothed out. Glancing nervously up at us, she cleared her throat and began.
“This is the last will and testament of the late Elizabeth Mildred Mattison, born Elizabeth Mildred Gulliver, and also known as Betty Mattison.”
She then went on to mention the states she’d lived in, and the date the will was written.
“This will is the latest will and supersedes all previous witnessed wishes written.” Sh
e took a long breath and continued. “Elizabeth’s will is very short and to the point,” she stated.
“To my granddaughter, Erin Foley, I leave the original sum of ten thousand dollars, invested in her name shortly after her birth with any value accrued to the same original amount in compound interest.”
My heart pounded at mention of Erin’s name. When Holly confirmed the account had been in existence since Erin had been born, I felt sick. It was yet more evidence my mom was in on the arrangement long before Erin was born, and the money had been part of the adoption agreement.
“To my faithful husband, Lester, I leave the gold band that bound us together. The rest of my jewelry and worldly possessions I leave to my eldest daughter, Marnie.”
“All fees and disbursements relating to the will have been settled in advance of Mrs Mattison’s demise.” This time the smile was fake, her duties done. Holly folded the paperwork again.
“That’s it? Fifty odd years and that’s all the mention my father gets for putting up with her?” I raged, furious my mother could have acted so cruelly and had escaped the repercussions of her callous actions.
My father inhaled sharply, and his Adam’s apple bobbed repeatedly as he fought back tears. Standing, Holly nervously scooped up her box file and dropped the other papers inside without acknowledging my outburst.
As she moved to leave the room, she pinned open the large glass office door. Turning to face us again, she stated we could contact her at her office if we had any other questions.
“Why am I here, if I wasn’t mentioned in her will? Why isn’t Erin here?” I asked. “If my daughter is mentioned in the will why wasn’t she invited to hear this?”
“Again, I am following Elizabeth’s wishes. It specifically states the people invited and for Erin to have a separate will reading later today.”
The whole event had been a total waste of time from my perspective, but I was hurt she hadn’t even bothered to mention me in her will at all.
There was nothing I wanted nor needed from her, but it had still felt like a last twist of the knife from beyond the grave. I thought my mother had been exceptionally cruel to my father when there was a mention of Erin without any prior warning to him that she had even existed. It made me realize how warped her mind was. I could almost imagine her expecting an explosive scene between my father and me in her wake.
I immediately felt vindicated about challenging my father about Erin when I had. At least he hadn’t heard the news in some random lawyer’s office. I felt glad to have robbed her of that parting slap in my face, but disgusted she had shown no regard for my father’s lifelong commitment to their marriage by what she’d done. I could hardly begin to imagine the effect on him, of learning about Erin, had I not challenged him beforehand.
James had waited for us in the lawyer’s office lobby and when he saw me, he jumped to his feet and walked toward me, holding his arms open wide. I stepped into them and allowed them to swallow me up. Feeling how they surrounded me felt like home, like I was safe, and my mother could do nothing else to hurt me now. I filled my lungs inhaling his scent, and exhaled a cleansing breath to calm myself.
“Everything all right?” he asked, pushing me away just enough to see my face when he looked down at me.
“My mother was one sick fuck behaving how she did, dragging us all the way downtown to give my father back his wedding ring and cut me out of her will. Erin’s mention and the money were the only surprises, but I wonder where she got that ten thousand dollars from in the first place.”
“So how was your dad?” James asked.
“Better than he would have been had I not told him about Erin. She came up in the will, no apology, no explanation to my dad, she just totally sprung Erin on him. I think he’s still trying to come to terms with the revelation that the woman he’d shared the biggest part of his life with had done something so monumentally devious when she’d arranged the adoption.”
“At least Erin was acknowledged,” James mused, like my mom recognizing her had felt like some kind of consolation prize.
“Well, my mom’s gone now, and she doesn’t deserve any of our tears. I’m glad she’s not around anymore.” Glancing at James’ face, I could see he struggled to understand the negative feelings I had toward my mom. I got that because he had a mother who was light and warm, whereas mine had been dark, manipulative, and controlling. There were no subtle differences between them; there was a wide gaping hole between their mothering skills.
“Erin?” James said, quietly as we headed out the law office doors.
“Hi,” she greeted, her smiling eyes locking in on me. My sister, father and Franco were deep in conversation on the side walk and hadn’t noticed us talking.
“Are you going to see my mom’s lawyer?” I asked.
“Yeah, she called and asked me to attend a will reading. Am I too late?”
“What time did she say?”
“11:15 a.m. It’s only 11:10 now,” she remarked, looking anxious like she’d missed something.
“No, you’re on time. We’re not going to do this on the street,” James said, nodding his head and signaling toward my father and Marnie, who were barely out of earshot.
“Is that them?” Erin asked, ducking behind James and showing how mindful she was of our delicate situation.
“It is. You’d have met them already if Tricia’s mother hadn’t died. Look, go on up there and I’ll find somewhere quiet where we can all talk. I’ll text you when we get settled, and you can come and join us. He glanced to me for approval. “How does that sound?”
“Perfect, would be great,” I agreed. “They know all about you, so it would be good to finally have a short get-together today.”
Erin nodded, leaned in, and kissed both James and me on the cheek. “Okay, see you soon, don’t forget to text, James.” Both James and I turned our attention to my father, my sister, and her husband, who had continued their conversation and missed our interaction with Erin altogether.
“Let’s all go get a drink,” James prompted. I took his arm and we wandered over to my father and I slid my other arm in my dad’s.
“Well done, Dad, that was a tough morning. I know life is never going to be the same for you. I know you loved Mom, and to find all that out about her after she’s gone has got to be heartbreaking.”
My dad looked me in the eye and shook his head. “I lived with someone for fifty odd years who was very difficult to please, very controlling, and highly manipulative. However, your mother had an incredible ability for making everyone do what she wanted and to do it her way, while never once thinking she was wrong. Knowing now what you went through has haunted me since the minute you told me. I must have been blind not to have seen the changes in you. I saw you every day and I never noticed. Shame on me.” The shattered look on his face told me how much my news had destroyed him.
“No, Dad, I remember being pregnant and how she behaved during that time, like it happened yesterday. Mom had you build a new barn and renew the fencing in the middle of winter, for goodness sake. I watched as she lined up chore after chore to keep you from spending time with me, in case you noticed my condition.” I said. His eyes looked up to his hairline and he looked back at me and nodded.
“Yeah, so that’s why there was no pleasing her that year.”
“I guess,” I stated calmly. “Come on, maybe we need something stiffer than coffee to drown our sorrows, or celebrate the fact she isn’t around anymore.”
“Yeah, and then perhaps I should hit a pawn shop with that ring to pay for those drinks.” His comment made us all chuckle, but deep down I knew he must have felt devastated, knowing my mom had been so evil as to shut him out from the most important decision his family had ever had to make.
When Erin walked into the bar, I waved her over. As soon as my dad saw her coming toward us, he stood from the booth and glanced toward me as if to confirm who she was.
“Dad, this is your granddaughter, Erin,” I stated, with a
shaky, emotional voice, hugging myself. James rubbed my back.
A huge lump formed in my throat and my heart squeezed so tight when my dad pulled her to his chest in a hug. He clung tight to her as tears fell freely from his tired aged eyes and my chest tightened so much, I couldn’t catch my breath. It was one of the most touching moments of my life and a sob tore from my throat.
James pulled me closer, hugged me, and kissed my temple. When I stole a glance toward him his eyes glistened as well. Marnie stood motionless, looking helpless as she waited for our dad to take his time and for her turn to meet the niece she never knew she had.
James let me go and I slid out of the booth to hug my dad when he let go of Erin, letting me take care of him, while James introduced her to Marnie. There were tears all round by the time Franco was introduced, who for once looked moved by the touching scene before him.
“Drambuie and Coke,” Erin told James as she peeled off her jacket. Everyone sat down and James went over to order the drink. Smiling, Erin slid into the leather seat next to me. My dad was on the other side of me, and Franco and Marnie sat opposite in the large circular booth at the small Irish bar we’d found a block from the lawyer’s office.
“I can’t believe this,” she gushed, her face beaming with happiness as my dad, lost for words, reached out under the table and took my hand.
We spoke for a few minutes on the resemblance of Erin to me and how sorry my father was that he had been unaware of her. Then, by the time James had rejoined us, the conversation had turned to the will reading.
We all looked expectantly toward her, waiting to hear her tell us Mom had left her $10,000. As if she sensed we’d been waiting, she shrugged and told us.
“So the lawyer gave me a copy of my part of the will,” she began. “Apparently, my… your mom invested the ten thousand dollars she was given for the adoption.”
“I fucking knew it. As soon as I heard about that money, I knew what she’d done. She sold my baby. She took $10,000 in exchange for you?” My response came out like a question, but it was a note of disbelief in my tone. How could she do that to me? We all stared in horror at once, even James. My stomach rolled and I felt sick.
Resist Me (Unchained Attraction Book 4) Page 17