Resist Me (Unchained Attraction Book 4)

by K. L. Shandwick

  I cleared my throat. “Yeah, I’m here.”

  “Are you all right, you went very quiet.”

  “Yeah, I’m just a little thirsty,” I croaked and chuckled.

  Billie immediately got my inference. “Ah, James is there,” she stated, as if she heard desire in my tone. “I’m going to let you go, but we need to do that dress shopping. Call me and we’ll set something up for later this week.”

  James must have heard me concluding the call, and came back to the living room with a baby pink lace lingerie set and a smug little smile on his face. Coming toe to toe with me, he dragged his T-shirt off me with one hand, took a step back, and sighed appreciatively.

  “Here, for goodness sake cover yourself up, woman,” he said in a mock scolding tone and held out the underwear to me.

  “I was covered until you stripped me bare, and these are hardly going to make a difference,” I replied, bunching them up in my hands when I’d taken possession of them.

  “They’re the difference between dragging you back into that room and fucking you senseless, and taking time out to admire the view,” he replied wittily.

  “So let me get this straight, I put these on so you can sit staring at me?”

  “Yes … no. You put those on, and I’ll sit appreciating you without touching … a bit like a wine connoisseur, they enjoy the flavor of the wine without getting drunk.”

  I laughed. “You can be so funny sometimes.”

  “My beautiful woman in fine lace lingerie is no laughing matter,” he scolded with a humorous tone, as he drew the back of his fingers down my breastbone. “I need something to get me through the tedium of my emails.” He shrugged. “And it would be nice if I had a little distraction from the dry boring content now and again.”

  With a wink, he dipped his head and took one of my nipples in his mouth and sucked it hard. A breathy hiss left my mouth at his unexpected, intimate gesture. Taking the lingerie back out of my hands, he released my breast with a pop. Separating the two pieces of flimsy underwear, he shook out the panties, and held them out for me to step into.

  Following his demand, I poked my feet through the leg holes, and he dropped to his knees. Kissing a slow sexy trail up each leg, I rolled my head to the side and closed my eyes, enjoying his mouth on me. When he pulled them over my hips, he spun me away from him, and took a gentle bite of my ass over the lace and sucked. I moaned when a pang of desire shot up my spine. He growled and stood up.

  “Fuck, you are way too distracting. I’m trying hard not to drag you back into that bedroom, but I obviously have a sadistic nature, because I’m torturing myself. Get the bra on,” he muttered gruffly and slapped my ass softly, before he wandered across the room and planted himself on the couch, still naked, with his laptop.

  Being the wrong side of forty and sitting in lingerie, just over a week from my wedding, had felt a little ridiculous, but it was a small concession to the man who obviously thought I warranted that kind of attention.”

  Sitting at the table, I pulled out my tablet and began to answer my emails as well. As we worked in silence, he occasionally glanced up and I’d catch him. During those little moments, he gave a naughty smirk or a wink but made no comment before he turned his attention back to his work.

  After a while, I settled into his little voyeur session and each stolen glance he took had my heart fluttering. Being objectified by a man wasn’t something I’d have ever accepted but I was happy to do it for James. Ultimately it had felt very flattering, it amused me, and James had gotten a kick out of it. With everything he’d been through with me, I hadn’t minded in the least.

  “Are you going barefoot in the sand when we get married?”

  “I am.”

  “Good … me too.”

  “But I’m not getting married in lingerie,” I added, glaring over at him and he chuckled.

  “Good, no man other than me is ever going to see you wearing sexy underwear again.”

  “Maybe my gynecologist.” I winked playfully and he scowled. I sighed dreamily. “Where the hell did you come from? Everything you’ve been through with me and have subsequently learned about me, yet you have never put me down.”

  “Why would I put you down when I’d much rather lay you down?”

  “Did you just make that up on the spot?”

  “I think so,” he said, chuckling. “Corny?”

  “Perfect,” I replied, “It was a great answer.”

  “Let’s hope they keep coming then,” he replied, standing and crossing the room toward me. He bent over me where I sat, slid his hand behind my neck, and kissed me. Electricity fired off in all directions because it was a devouring kiss, the kind of kiss that claimed me as his. Breaking away, he stood and clasped his hands behind his head. James was erect again and had the look of a man torn.

  “Let’s go out and eat,” he said, reluctantly. I think you deserve it, since I’ve been objectifying you all morning. My way of thanking you for indulging me.”

  “I must admit it felt a little weird to begin with, but it was also quite kinky … and flattering.”

  “Well, remind me to flatter you again and again. I’ll get you a subscription to a few lingerie sites, that way you can surprise me. Maybe you’ll share some of your milder or wilder fetishes and kinks with me.” He bent and kissed me again. Breaking the kiss, he caught my bottom lip between his teeth. “All our surprises should be fun from now on. We’re getting married and we’re going to live our best lives together.”

  “Oh, Tricia, it’s perfect.” Staring past my reflection in the floor-length mirror, Billie smiled as she looked at me over my shoulder. Seeing tears in her eyes tugged at my heartstrings because I felt how happy she was about me marrying James. “You look absolutely stunning, and it’s perfect for a beach wedding. I used to dream about having a sister,” she muttered to herself.

  “They’re overrated, I used to fight with mine almost every day. Marnie and I weren’t that close, but as we got older our relationship got better.”

  “Much like James and Sawyer,” she replied.

  “Not quite, we just liked very different things. She was very physical … a tomboy, and I was a bit of a nerd. There wasn’t the rivalry that James felt in relation to his siblings. Also, don’t forget you have three other sisters in the Wild girls,” I said, reminding her.

  “That isn’t the same. We’ve been through a lot together.” She sighed. “I don’t feel close to them, actually that’s not true, Lorna and I do okay. The others live too far away, and I don’t see that much of them. I really like them, but their relationships with me are nothing like ours.”

  “So, this one then?” I asked, turning my attention back to the ivory 1800s vintage-style dress. It was sleeveless with a delicately sequined V-line bodice and the simple flowing chiffon was understated but cool, and elegantly simple for a beach wedding. I smoothed the material down in front of me, knowing it looked perfect on me.

  “Absolutely, that looks like it was made for you, but it’s the first one you’ve tried on. Are you sure you don’t want to try something else in case you change your mind?”

  “I could spend hours in here and I know I’d compare this with everything else and end up buying it anyway.”

  “Okay, so what do you want me to wear?”

  “The same style in lilac and ivory … same again for the children… but shorter, I don’t want them feeling uncomfortable in the heat.”

  “Erin? Is she playing a part in this wedding?”

  “No, I’m not putting her in a position where she refuses to disappoint me. She has a new boyfriend, and by keeping things simple to you and the little ones it makes for less stress all round. She was with us the day we had gotten engaged and was very laid-back about it. I’m letting things happen at her pace, asking her to get involved in my wedding forces our relationship. We’re still new… it’s complex, but we’re working through things. She’s family, but I’m mindful she’s lived all her life not even knowing abo
ut me. She says she’s excited, but it’s got to be overwhelming for her.”

  “What about you?”

  “Of course I’m overwhelmed … exhausted by the secret I kept hidden. Fearful I’ll disappoint her or James in some way, worried about the effect of everything on my father … it’s a lot to consolidate and make sense of.” My frown turned to a smile when I thought how James had been there every step of the way. “But I have James… I couldn’t have done any of this without him.”

  “And now to the bridesmaids,” the personal attendant prompted, interrupting our conversation. We spoke to the seamstress and in-house designer who sketched rough designs of how the dresses would look.

  In keeping with my dress, the bridal party designs were kept simple and the store agreed the gowns could be made up in a few days with any alterations necessary done within seventy-two hours. Funny what money could do.

  With the dress design out of the way, and me preferring everyone in bare feet, all that was left was hair, flowers, and accessories to organize. The attendants in the bridal boutique came up with some perfect suggestions for the children and I settled on tiny cream velvet purses with some forget-me-not flowers sewn in. Fresh flower posies on the beach would have wilted in seconds. By the time we left the bridal boutique, I felt happy about the choices we’d made.

  I had wanted to look my best for James on the day, but I’d wanted the ceremony to be the focus for my day, not to turn it into an opportunistic high society fashion parade.

  In less than a day, I had chosen what to wear, the venue was booked by the beach, all I had left to do was to organize food we wanted and talk to the pastor.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Dad entered the room with Billie and immediately choked up, his eyes glistening with tears as he dug into the pocket of his suit jacket and pulled out a cotton hankie and swiped at his eyes. His reaction brought a lump to my throat as I blinked rapidly and tried not to tear up with him.

  “You look beautiful,” he mumbled in a hoarse, emotive tone.

  “Thank you, but I look exactly like you with hair and better legs,” I joked, and tried to inject some humor to stop him from turning me into a mess.

  “True,” he chuckled, because I did resemble him, whereas poor Marnie had hit my mom’s dark-haired, brick body shape, gene pool.

  “You have no idea how full my heart feels to know you have a great man behind you, sweetheart.”

  “He’s the best. Sometimes I wonder how I ever got through life without him.”

  “Everything that’s happened in your life has led you to this moment and because of that you appreciate him more than many would.”

  “Thank you for not being angry with me,” I muttered, hugging him close to me as much as I could without creasing the dress. We both knew why I expected that of him.

  “Never angry with you, Tricia. You’ve never disappointed me. We’ve made mistakes in life, your mom too, although you’d have had a hard job getting her to admit to that fact. What she did to you is unforgiveable.”

  Since he’d learned about Erin, Dad had blamed himself for being too busy to notice I hadn’t been okay, but I had to accept the blame of hiding from him during that time as well.

  “As hard as it is, I’m working to reconcile my past and I’m looking forward to my future with James and Erin. When I turned sixteen, I could never have imagined my life would have turned out the way it has, but it is what it is, and now I’m here,” I remarked, gesturing toward myself as I stood all dolled up in my wedding gown. “Be glad for me, Dad, I am. Today is the happiest day of my life.”

  My dad took my hand, lifted it to his mouth, and kissed it softly. “You know better than most how we can plan for the future but events take a turn and change everything. But I believe you did great finding James. That man you have chosen to spend your life with will always do his best never to let you down. As a father, I couldn’t ask for anything more for my daughter.” A wide smile curved my lips because he was right.

  Lorna knocked on the door, pushed it open a tad, and poked her head around it. “Wow, Tricia, you look incredible. James is going to be …” she sighed and shook her head. “Like me, lost for words.” She chuckled. “I just came to tell Billie the little ones are all dressed and ready. Do you want me to take them down to the car?” she asked, looking past me to Billie.

  “Can you just give us a minute?” Billie replied, and took my father to one side to remind him of some last minute details.

  I smiled as I watched them huddle together over the piece of paper my father had in his hand. I turned back to the mirror and looked at myself again. What I saw was a happy woman. Radiant for once, with a vibrant glint in my eyes, and most importantly, I appeared calm. The woman looking back at me was mature, she’d been through a lot, but somehow, I appeared at peace.

  “Ready, sister?” Billie asked, as she slipped her hand into mine and glanced past me to my reflection again. “Stunning,” she mumbled, and I turned to look at her.

  “I’ll do,” I replied, but there was a smugness in my tone that let her know I was contented with how I looked.

  Turning to address my dad she said, “All right, Lester, this is your big moment. Try not to fall over and if you lose your footing, remember to let go of your daughter’s hand. We don’t want a bride covered in sand.” We all laughed, and she grabbed me, kissed my cheek, kissed my dad on the cheek, and made her way toward the door.

  “See you in twenty minutes … that’ll be late enough. Brynn burns in the sun,” she added and winked.

  “She’s a great friend to you,” my dad stated, after Billie had left the room.

  “She’s incredible. I don’t know where I’d be without her,” I replied.

  “True, because you wouldn’t be here, standing in a wedding dress.” I turned and looked at my dad. His comment had been so spontaneous, but I nodded, acknowledging had I never met Billie, I wouldn’t have met James either.

  “Very true. I owe her and Sawyer almost as much as I owe James for taking a basket case like me on as a friend. Those Wild men love broken women. Maybe it’s another kink that they have,” I replied.

  “James is into kink?” my dad replied. “He isn’t one of those Fifty Shades of Grey people, who use whips, chains, and ball gags, is he?”

  I coughed and spluttered at those words coming out of my dad’s mouth and a smile curved my lips. I bit it back and stared at my dad, giving the seriousness of his question some weight. “Being kinky doesn’t always involve tying people up and beating them with a whip or a paddle, Dad.”

  “Jesus, Tricia, I’m in my eighties, there’s not a lot you could teach me about kinky sex.” I laughed so hard at his comment and dabbed at the happy tears that sprang to my eyes with the pads of my fingertips.

  “Dad … don’t … just don’t, okay? This is my wedding day and you’re my dad. I don’t need the distraction of wondering what that statement means coming from you,” I replied, wrinkling my nose.

  He chuckled wickedly. “Kink with your mom, usually involved me stacking the dishwasher wrong and watching her get pissed and flustered when she pulled it all out again and restacked it.” We both burst out laughing and he slid his arm in mine. “Come on, baby girl, we don’t want your new husband to get heatstroke from the sun and ruin your fun-filled night.”

  “Dad!” I exclaimed, scolding him again and shook my head. “Now I’ll be thinking of you thinking that,” I admonished. “Just take me to the beach and on to that pagoda without talking to me anymore.” Dad chuckled, grinned at me, and squeezed my hand. “You look beautiful, James is a lucky man.”

  “I’m going to take that compliment and try to erase the conversation that we had right before it,” I mumbled, as we walked toward the bedroom door. My dad snickered to himself, but never said anything else.

  The afternoon sun was sweltering hot by the time we left the house at 3:55 p.m. for the ten-minute ride over to Peconic Beach Tennis Club. A fleet of white limousines had already
transported the girls and Billie, James, Sawyer, and James’ best friend, Josh, and Hammer. Harriett and Ronnie travelled separately on the short journey to the club’s private beach. Meanwhile, a short luxury coach took the rest of the family.

  We had a small and very intimate number of people in attendance, which was exactly how James and I had wanted our event to be.

  The journey along Private Row from James’ parents’ house to the tennis club gave me just enough time to reflect on my relationship with James, as I stared out at the azure blue of the calm Atlantic Ocean to my left.

  For most of my life since, I’d controlled my world as my way of coping, by putting barriers in place and making decisions I’d thought would minimize my risk of being hurt in that way again. However, none of that had prepared me for when I’d met James.

  Until him, I’d always stayed in charge of how I felt. No man, no matter how handsome, had ever gotten past that wall of steel I’d surrounded myself with. There had been many who had tried, yet James had stealthily captured my heart effortlessly.

  I was terrified of how quickly James Wild had consumed my thoughts, even before we’d kissed, but after the night we slept together, I kept telling myself it was lust.

  Of course, it wasn’t. Lust doesn’t make your heart hurt when it’s reciprocated, it makes it feel euphoric.

  “Looks like we’re here,” my dad informed me, pulling me out of my thoughts. I glanced at the two-storey building to the front of the club. “I’m very proud of you, Tricia,” he told me, as we shared a quiet moment before the valet opened his door. I swallowed back a lump of emotion as I turned to look into his eyes, and despite all he’d learned about me in recent times; I knew he spoke the truth.

  As my father helped me out of the car, a wedding usher of sorts arranged by the club rushed over and congratulated me, but before he said anything else, Billie and the girls also ran out to meet us.

  Handing me my bridal bouquet, she rolled her eyes when the girls began shoving in front of each other to get closer to me.