Broken Minds

by Marissa Farrar

  Suddenly, I wanted that more than anything, but it was stupid to even consider it. Just because we’d shared a moment didn’t mean we would be any good together for any length of time. She hadn’t even let me hold her after we’d had sex. Of course, she hadn’t. I was her kidnapper, and I planned to murder her father. The sex confused things, but that was the truth of it at the end of the day. She was only here to get her freedom back and be rid of me.

  We remained on deck, sitting together in companionable silence as the boat rode the waves and the dolphins played in the wake.

  “You still haven’t told me where we’re going,” she said suddenly.

  “Georgia,” I told her, naming the state where the prison was located.

  She nodded and turned back to the ocean. “I probably should have guessed.”

  “We won’t be going to the prison, though. We have somewhere else we’ll be working from.”

  “We will?”

  “Yes. It’s not too far from the prison, so hopefully it won’t take your father too long to reach us, and so will evade being captured again.”

  She looked back to me. “Where will we be working from?”

  “Your home.”

  She flinched. “That place hasn’t been my home in ten years.”

  “I know that, but it’s where he’ll come to try to rescue you from me.”

  “How will he know to do that?”

  “Because you’re going to tell him.”

  She swallowed hard. “No, I won’t.”

  “That was the agreement, Jolie. You make sure your father breaks out of prison with the help of my people on the inside, and that he knows where to find you, and then I’ll kill him, and you can go free.”

  “If I tell him where to come, then the police will know, too. Even if he does manage to escape—if he even bothers to try—then the cops will just pick him straight up again.”

  “He will try. I’ll make it look like his baby girl is being tortured the same way he tortured my mother and all those other women before he killed them. You’ll make sure he knows that he’s the only person who can stop me.”

  She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “This is crazy. The police will just come straight to the house.”

  “No, we’re going to be smart about it. You need to think up a way you can tell him where you are that the police won’t even know about.”

  It felt wrong to be talking about such dark things when we were in such a beautiful setting. From the way her expression changed, memories haunting her eyes and fear rounding her shoulders and bringing her knees up to her chest in a way I was starting to recognize, I wished I’d never said anything. But this was the plan, and I couldn’t go back on it now. I wouldn’t let ten years of work and planning go down the drain because of a tight body and a pretty face.

  “That was our agreement, Jolie,” I warned her. “You can’t go back on it now.”

  She didn’t say anything else but got up from where she was sitting. Leaving the dolphins and the sunshine and the ocean, she went back inside into the dim light of the cabin.

  And I sat and hated myself more than ever before.

  Chapter Eighteen

  I took myself below deck, if only to put some space between me and Hayden so I could think clearly. That man confused me like no one else I’d ever met. One moment, we were laughing and enjoying being on the ocean, and the next he ripped my moment of happiness out from under me.

  My mind whirred, wondering if there might be a way I could trip him up. He wanted me to think of something only my father and I would know, but if I was smart about it, I could make up something that was nonsense, and then my father wouldn’t know where to come, even if he did break free.

  But if Hayden wasn’t able to kill my father, he would never let me go.

  That was what I was offered—my father’s life for my own. My father didn’t deserve to live, but, after what I’d done, I had to wonder if I had any more right to a life than he did. After all, we were both killers now.

  I had a third option. I could wait until we were on dry land then try to escape. That way, I may save my father’s life, but I might also save Hayden. If he didn’t get the opportunity to kill Patrick Dorman, maybe he’d finally move on and live his life. Because I wasn’t only worried about him killing my father, I also hated the idea of Hayden spending the rest of his life behind bars. It was such a waste of what could be an incredible life. He was handsome, rich, clearly talented in business. Admittedly, he wasn’t exactly emotionally balanced, and that he could kidnap a woman and hold her captive beneath his house might not work for his future relationships, but I still hated to think of him throwing his life away.

  If I escaped, I might be helping him as well as myself.

  Unless he changed tactics and found a new way to kill my father.

  What Hayden said about torturing me also made my stomach churn. Did Hayden really intend to torture me? I wouldn’t put it past him if it got him what he wanted. He’d knocked me unconscious with chloroform, and zipped me up in a bag, and then locked me down in the dark. He had this whole ‘not hurting women’ bizarre moralistic code, but while he hadn’t hit me, I couldn’t pretend like the things he’d done hadn’t hurt.

  My body ached from where we’d had sex, but still I tingled between my thighs at the memory of what we’d done together. It was as though I couldn’t trust myself around him. I simply had no control. I desired him in a way I’d never lusted for a man before. And when he was being sweet and caring, I wanted to peel off my skin and climb into his with him. But then he reverted back to the coldhearted man who’d kidnapped me, and I couldn’t figure out which was the real Hayden—the gentle one I caught glimpses of, or the coldhearted one his mother’s murder must have created.

  I lay back on the bed, one arm over my eyes, and felt the rise and fall of the boat over the waves beneath me. We had at least a couple of days on the boat, and I wasn’t going to hide down here the whole time. Aside from needing to eat, and also wanting the sun and fresh air after spending so much time locked up beneath Hayden’s house, I was also going to end up seasick down here. I didn’t notice the motion so much when I was above deck, but already my stomach started to lurch. Being on deck also meant being around Hayden, but I couldn’t do much about that. I just needed to set some boundaries.

  I almost laughed at the thought. He was still my kidnapper. I wasn’t a free woman, however much it felt like I was living a life of luxury aboard this boat. How did you go about setting boundaries with a man who thought he owned you?

  The boat lifted and fell, lifted and fell, and I forced myself to sit up. My queasiness only increased, and I knew I wasn’t going to get any better by staying down here. As much as I wanted to avoid Hayden, I wasn’t going to make myself ill by locking myself up.

  I got to my feet and staggered over to the cabin door. The floor swelled and subsided beneath my feet, the walls closing in, and heat rushed to my face and drained away again just as quickly. I pushed my way out of the cabin, using the walls to keep my balance. I didn’t know if we’d headed into rougher waters, or if it was because I was focusing more on it now, but the waves definitely felt bigger.

  I lurched my way back up on deck. The cool, fresh air hit my face, and I gulped it down. From what I could see, it didn’t look as though the conditions had changed at all.

  Hayden was sitting at the helm station, looking ahead, but he must have heard or sensed me coming up, as he turned to glance over his shoulder. He caught sight of me and frowned. “Jesus, Jolie. You’re white. Are you feeling okay?” He was on his feet, heading over to me, but I put out a hand to ward him off. I didn’t trust myself around him.

  “I’m fine. I just need some fresh air.”

  I turned and pushed my way out to the back of the boat and perched on the seating that ran down the sides. I’d thought Hayden might have followed me out here, but when he didn’t, my stomach dipped in disappointment. I had to keep reminding myself
that I was a means to an end. We might have had sex, but that didn’t mean I meant anything to him.

  I kept my chin lifted, staring out to sea. I was sure I’d read somewhere that it helped seasickness to watch the horizon. I sucked in a couple of deep lungsful of fresh, salty air, and, though the nausea remained, it wasn’t as bad as it had been below deck. Damn. I’d need to get my sea legs soon. If we had a couple of days ahead of us on this boat, I couldn’t spend the entire time up here.

  The sliding glass door which led onto the living area opened, and Hayden stepped through carrying something in a mug.

  “Here,” he said, handing it to me. “This will help.”

  I took the mug and frowned down at it. It looked like hot water with bits floating on the top. I wrinkled my nose. “What is it?”

  “Ginger. It’ll help with the nausea. Trust me.”

  I cocked my eyebrows. “Trust you?”

  He only wore shorts, and I couldn’t help feasting on the sight of his naked torso. Even feeling sick, it seemed I was unable to help myself around him.

  He shrugged. “Okay, don’t trust me. Just carry on feeling sick. But it will help.”

  I took a tentative sip. The water was hot, and the spicy ginger burned its way down my throat. The smell did help a little, though, and I held the cup closer. “Thanks,” I said, though it was begrudging.

  “You’ll get used to the movement,” he told me with a half-smile. “It won’t last.”

  I hoped he was right.

  He turned and went back to the helm, leaving me sitting out in the open, nursing my mug of hot water and ginger.

  I smiled ruefully to myself. Hayden could be kind, when he wanted to be. I fully expected him to counteract that with some kind of threat or by tying me up in the next few hours, but for the moment I’d try to relax.

  Sometime, in the next couple of days, we’d reach our destination, and then I’d have to figure out how I was going to play things.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Somehow, I managed to leave Jolie alone.

  Though having her so close was torture, I knew us having sex only complicated things. I figured she was having the same thoughts, as she seemed to deliberately avoid me—which took some effort considering the size of the boat—and she hadn’t thrown herself at me again.

  When the sun started to go down, casting a fiery glow across the water, I cooked us a simple meal of ravioli. I was pleased to see Jolie eat, even if she did carry her plate away from me to sit on deck and eat alone. The seasickness must have passed, and I hoped the ginger had helped. As long as the ocean remained calm, she should be fine for the rest of the journey.

  Later that evening, Jolie found a pack of cards, and instead of inviting me to join in, she sat by herself at the table and played solitaire. I knew the only reason she wasn’t hiding away below deck was because of the seasickness, but she was clearly trying to avoid me. I understood her reasons, but that didn’t stop me being filled with doubt and regret.

  Was I doing the right thing?

  Every time the thought crept into my head, I pushed it away. I’d never experienced this doubt before. Even when I’d been planning to kidnap Jolie, I’d never once wondered if it was the right thing to do. I’d known it hadn’t been right in that sense of the word, but I’d always known it was what I wanted—revenge on her father.

  Unless it had never been about the revenge, an annoying voice whispered in my head, and all about getting the girl.

  No, this was a new thing. Okay, so maybe I had stalked her over the years, making sure she didn’t do anything that would put my plan in jeopardy, such as moving abroad, but it had always been about the revenge, not about her. She was merely a pawn and still was, and I’d do well to remember that.

  Night fell, and Jolie left her card game and went below deck. I assumed it was to go to bed in the cabin she’d chosen, but then she reappeared, the blankets and pillows stuffed under her arm.

  “I’m going to sleep up here, if that’s okay.” It was the most she’d said to me in hours.

  She must have been worried about getting seasick again. Suspicion rose up inside me. Unless she hoped I’d decide to sleep in the cabin, and then she’d use the opportunity to tamper with the boat, divert course, maybe, or even try to use the radio to call for help.

  I couldn’t leave her up here if she was going to have free access to everything, but I wasn’t going to force her down into the cabin to spend the night sick either. One thing about boats was that there was always plenty of rope available.

  “That’s fine,” I told her. “But I’ll be tying you up.”

  A scowl crossed her face. “We’re in the middle of the ocean. What the hell do you think I’m going to do while I’m asleep?”

  “It’s more what you might do while I’m asleep that concerns me.”

  Her lower lip jutted out in a pout, and I wanted to bite it. “I told you I’ll cooperate.”

  “Good. Then you’ll cooperate by letting me tie you up.”

  Her scowl deepened. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I know it isn’t, and I couldn’t really care less. Either you let me tie you up, so you can sleep up here, or else I lock you into one of the cabins downstairs.”

  She hesitated, looking as though she was considering fighting me about it, but then she shoved both her wrists out toward me. “Fine.”

  “Wait there.”

  I went down to the engine room to locate a coil of rope. The room was dark, and hot, and loud, and it took me a minute to find something suitable. But then I spotted a coil that looked to be a good length and thickness, and carried it back up on deck where Jolie was waiting for me.

  “Lie down on the couch. I’ll tie you to the unit beside it.” Everything was built in, so she wouldn’t be going anywhere.

  Jolie did as I instructed, wriggling down to lie on her side on the couch, and then put out both hands. I wound the rope I’d taken from the engine room around both wrists, and then around the metal pole which attached the unit to the floor. I pulled tight, making sure the knots weren’t going to come loose or that she’d be able to squirm out of them. She glared at me with hatred in her eyes, and I did my best to ignore it. It was better that she hated me. At least then she wouldn’t be dropping to her knees in front of me and sucking my cock.

  Blood flowed to my dick at the thought, and I shut my eyes briefly, trying to dispel the image. She was tied up now, and thinking of her in that way was a very bad idea. Especially with the way she was tied with her hands over her head, making her breasts lift even higher beneath the flimsy material of her dress. She still wasn’t wearing a bra, and all it would take was for me to undo the tie at the back of her neck, and the whole front of the dress would fall down.

  “Stop looking at me like that,” she growled.

  I blinked. “Like what?”

  “Like you’re thinking about what I’d look like tied up and naked.”

  Fuck, hearing the words coming from her mouth made me hard.

  “What if I am thinking about what you look like tied up and naked?”

  “Stop it, Hayden,” she warned.

  “This is coming from the woman who practically tore off my towel and swallowed my cock earlier.”

  Her cheeks heated, and a flush crept across her chest. “That was different,” she said, but her tone had changed, her voice a breathy whisper.

  Her legs moved on the couch, her thighs pressing together, and I knew it was to stimulate herself, not to prevent my access. My cock grew even harder, straining almost painfully against the front of my shorts.

  Walk away, Hayden. Turn around and walk away.

  I knew that was the right thing to do, but fuck, she looked like a human sex buffet stretched out across the couch, her hands tied above her head.

  “Tell me you’re not thinking about it,” I told her. “Tell me that you’re not wet already.”

  She glanced away, and her teeth dug into her lower lip. She appeared both want
on and demure, and I wanted her badly.

  I stepped in closer. “I mean it, Jolie. You need to tell me to stop, or I’m going to check for myself.”

  Her head snapped toward me. “Hayden!”

  “Is that a no? Is that a stop?”

  She wriggled into the couch again, squirming, her hips pressing into the cushions. I reached out and slipped my hand behind her head and did exactly what I’d been imagining only moments earlier—I pulled the tie loose.

  She sucked in a breath as I yanked the front of the dress down, exposing her bare breasts, but still she didn’t tell me to stop. Her head might be telling her she didn’t want this, but she hadn’t yet managed to make her mouth comply. I cupped one of her tits in my palm, and her back arched, pressing more fully into me. No, her head might not want me, but her body sure as hell did.

  I lowered to sit on the edge of the couch beside her and replaced my hand with my mouth. I suckled her nipple, and it hardened into a point against my tongue. She writhed beneath me, and I used my other hand to twist and pinch the nipple of her other breast.

  Releasing her from my mouth, I yanked her dress down the rest of the way. At some point during the day, she’d taken off her boots, so now she only wore her panties, and I didn’t intend for those to stay on too long either. I trailed my tongue across her flat stomach, leaving a track of saliva, and reached the waistband of her underwear. Hooking my fingers into the sides, I pulled them down her thighs and dropped them to the floor with her dress.

  I looked up at her, utterly naked with her hands tied with rope. Had I ever seen anything sexier? My cock throbbed with approval. Every time I fucked Jolie, I didn’t think it could get hotter than before, and yet here we were.