A Summer Reunion

by Fanny Blake

  Eventually she reappeared carrying a tray with two mugs of coffee. ‘So?’ she said, putting them on the table.

  ‘Look at this.’ Jane tapped at her iPad, found the relevant page and sat back.

  Amy pulled the iPad towards her, angling it so it was out of the sun. She began to read, scrolling down until she’d finished the article. ‘Jesus!’

  ‘I know. Right?’

  ‘She was only fifteen! Under age. Are we sure it’s the same Jack Wilson?’

  ‘Definitely. Look at the pictures.’ Jane was pleased by the effect of her discovery. ‘So Jack Wilson must have become Jack Walsh after he was jailed for running away to Germany with one of his pupils. Not much of a name change.’

  ‘Enough, though. He served nearly three years in prison. No wonder he wanted to disappear. When did it happen?’ She looked back at the article. ‘1986. Ten years after we left school.’ Cradling her cup of coffee, she stared at Jane. ‘Wow!’

  ‘She did believe she loved him though.’ Jane tried to find the girl an excuse. She remembered what that teen infatuation felt like.

  ‘More fool her. I knew there was something.’

  Jane looked at the pictures again. ‘Now what?’

  ‘I don’t know. Do you believe me now?’

  Jane couldn’t look at her. ‘I don’t know what to believe. I could have sworn you’d told me you’d made it up.’

  ‘Stop it!’ Amy thumped the table. ‘We’re not seventeen any more. It’s over. You don’t have to keep on lying.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Jane was genuinely puzzled.

  ‘That’s what you used to do.’ Amy was quite calm and matter-of-fact. ‘You passed on the blame for your shoplifting to me, you copied my homework and passed it off as yours, you often lied about where you were going or who you were with and, of course, we always found out. What Mr Wilson did to me and how he got away with it was terrible, and you lied to your mother about what I said. You must have.’ She raised her hand to Jane’s objection. ‘It’s the only explanation.’

  But the examples Amy was quoting were all lost in the haze of time. Jane was having trouble recalling any of them. Was that how she was remembered? Her only defence was to hit back. ‘Would you have got the grades? Would you have been able to hack the training? Weren’t you much more cut out for what you’ve done? Maybe I did you a favour.’ Realising what she’d just said, Jane quickly added, ‘If I did anything at all.’

  ‘Jane, please. Look at this.’ Amy flicked a finger at the iPad. ‘The man obviously had a problem. He was young, girls fancied him and he had his pick until he fell for someone under age and got caught. He did do what I said. So I’ve got two questions for you. Why did you tell your mother otherwise? is one. And what did she do next? is the other. This,’ she pointed to the iPad. ‘This must persuade you.’

  ‘For God’s sake. Why can’t you leave it alone? Isn’t this enough?’ Anger and a sense of injustice bubbled up in Jane. ‘If you’re so desperate to know, I’ll tell you. I didn’t want it to be true because I fancied him too. All right? I couldn’t bear the idea of him leaving so I told Mum you were lying. Is that good enough for you? I know she called Milters but she never told me what she said. OK? Can we let it rest now?’

  But Amy still wasn’t done. ‘Milters was a snob and listened to anything any of the other middle-class parents would tell her. If they said “Jump!” she’d jump. It was parents like mine that she took no notice of. I wouldn’t have had a chance and you knew that.’

  ‘Mum knew how much trouble you’d been in at school—’

  ‘Mostly thanks to you.’

  ‘That’s not true.’ Though she suspected there was more truth in that than she’d like. ‘And so Milters believed her, thought it was the sort of thing you’d do, and acted fast before it went further.’

  ‘And his watch? Did you put that in my desk?’

  Now they had reached this point, all Jane wanted was for it to be over once and for all. Why pretend any longer? It was in her gift to put Amy straight. ‘OK. Full confession. Yes, that was me.’

  ‘I knew it!’ Amy looked pleased but her anger soon took over. ‘Why? Why didn’t you say something at the time?’

  ‘It was just a moment of madness. I shouldn’t have done it, but I never dreamed it would go as far as it did. When the police got involved, I was too scared to own up. My dad …’ Even now, she could hear his shouts, imagine him grounding her, withholding her allowance.

  ‘So it was me or you. And bang went my A levels and all those dreams.’

  ‘That’s being over the top. They didn’t have to. Your parents could have pressed harder.’

  ‘Don’t you dare blame them.’ Amy banged her fist on the table. ‘You know that your mum had Milters’s ear every time over the other parents.’

  ‘Then you could have knuckled down for that last term at the comp.’

  ‘No I couldn’t. Don’t you see? Everything I wanted had been taken away from me. Nobody trusted me. Some girls in the class wouldn’t speak to me. My parents’ disappointment in me was crushing. That’s why I ran away to spend the summer with Dan in London and why, when I came back for my results, I got in with Mick Kirby’s bunch. They gave me somewhere to belong while all you lot left for university.’

  Jane got up and walked to the edge of the terrace, gazing towards the pool, glittering blue in the sunlight. ‘Look, I’m sorry. I am. But we’ve all done things we shouldn’t have and we’re not seventeen any more. You must get over this.’ She was aware that this was the voice she used with some of her patients: calm, thoughtful, superior. ‘Move on. You can’t let yourself be defined by something that happened so long ago. Look what you’ve achieved since then. I shouldn’t have done what I did. You’re right. But I was a self-centred teenager.’

  ‘Maybe I wouldn’t have made it,’ said Amy, reflective. ‘You did say that last night, and it hurt. But I’d have liked the chance to find out.’

  ‘I shouldn’t have said anything.’ She flinched under Amy’s gaze.

  ‘But you did.’ Amy gave a wry grin. ‘The only person who’s ever dared to say. You never were scared about speaking out.’

  ‘A bad habit.’ Though not as bad as rewriting the truth to suit her own story.

  ‘What’s haunted me is the knowledge that he got away with it. He was the one who should have been punished. Not me. This’ – she swung the iPad round – ‘isn’t enough.’

  ‘Now’s your chance then.’ Jane returned to the table. ‘When Linda and Dan get back, we’ll know for sure whether it’s him or not. And if he definitely is Mr Wilson, then you can decide what to do.’

  ‘I think we know he is, don’t we? But what? What could I do?’

  ‘It’ll come to us.’

  Amy was turning her mug in circles, scraping it on the tabletop. ‘Were you really so much better cut out than me to be a doctor? I know I didn’t have your background but I’d have worked.’

  Jane returned to the table and sat down. ‘I don’t think so. In fact it turns out that, apart from being a bad wife and mother, I’m a bad doctor too.

  Amy’s eyebrows raised. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘The wife part, you don’t need to know. But next week I’m up in front of a tribunal …’ She put her head in her hands as she spoke so she couldn’t see Amy’s reaction. ‘I might as well tell you because anyone will soon be able to read about it online if they want to.’

  ‘Whatever happened?’

  Jane took a breath. ‘It was all about my son, Paul, and Elaine his fiancé. She and I don’t get on: controlling, and extremely ambitious.’

  ‘Nothing like her mother-in-law then.’ Amy pursed her lips. ‘Joking!’

  ‘OK. I asked for that.’ She looked up and smiled. ‘Anyway … She’s on the way to being a pretty hotshot financial lawyer as far as I can make out but he need
s someone more gentle.’ Jane couldn’t bear to think of her son being under the thumb of anyone, especially a woman with whom she didn’t see eye to eye; although she had to admit, it would be a rare woman who would be good enough for Paul. ‘Anyway, she got pregnant. For a moment, I thought everything was going to work out after all. David and I were thrilled at the thought of being grandparents, but then she miscarried at fifteen weeks. Paul was devastated, and so were we for them, but she brushed it off as if it didn’t matter. “Stuff happens,” she said. Stuff happens!’ Jane was as outraged now as she had been then.

  ‘But having a baby when you’re starting out on a career that matters to you isn’t necessarily the best plan, and she was probably putting on a brave face.’

  ‘I wish that was true.’ Jane sighed. ‘But I know it’s not.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘I looked up Elaine’s hospital record. God!’ She looked to the sky as if he would appear and help her.

  ‘Is that so bad?’

  ‘Bad?! Looking up a patient who isn’t in your care breaches every patient confidentiality rule in the book. It was a moment of pure madness. I was upset, I wanted to see why she’d miscarried, if there’d be any longer-term effects. I told myself I’d be able to comfort Paul better if I knew. Perhaps a bit of me didn’t believe her. I don’t know. It took a matter of minutes to find out she’d been admitted for a termination.’ She brushed away her tears.

  ‘Oh, Jane.’

  ‘She’d lied to all of us, including Paul.’ It momentarily registered that it was odd to be complaining about something she had just been accused of doing herself. But this was different. ‘Once I knew, I didn’t know what to do with the knowledge.’

  ‘What did your husband say? Did you tell him?’

  ‘David was appalled that I’d used my position to get confidential information. He said I should forget what I’d found and pray no one noticed what I’d done.’

  ‘But they did?’

  Jane shook her head. ‘Worse than that. David was right, of course, but when I had dinner with Paul one night, he was so distraught about the “miscarriage” and how well Elaine had dealt with it – what a saint she was – that I told him the truth.’

  ‘You didn’t!’ Amy’s shock made her feel even more ashamed.

  ‘I’m afraid so. One glass of wine too many and I let the cat hissing and spitting out of the bag. He was even more appalled than David.’ She could still see his face, white with fury, as he pushed his chair back, desperate to leave the table. ‘I thought he was angry with Elaine, but he wasn’t. He was angry with me. He confronted her of course. She couldn’t deny it so naturally he felt betrayed, hurt that she hadn’t confided in him. They nearly broke up over it, not that that would have been such a bad thing in my view, but they didn’t. If anything it’s brought them closer together. Paul didn’t speak to me for months. Even now, I have to be incredibly careful what I say in case it’s construed as criticism. David’s no help. Just says it’s my fault and I’ll have to wait it out.’

  ‘And Elaine?’

  ‘Oh God. You can imagine. She was justifiably furious with me and told her parents. They encouraged her to make an official complaint to the GMC. So that’s what she did. Next stop tribunal.’

  ‘Isn’t there a way round it?’ Amy sounded more sympathetic.

  ‘Nope. There’s a record of who’s logged in to every file and when. There’s no way I could deny it, and once the GMC are involved, that’s it. My reputation and my career are on the line.’

  ‘God, Jane. That’s terrible.’

  ‘What’s terrible is that I jeopardised everything I had with one stupid mistake, driven by my love for Paul. But it’s their life, not mine. I should have left well alone. I see that now.’

  ‘But your career’s not really in danger?’

  Jane wondered how much schadenfreude lay behind Amy’s question, but perhaps she was asking from genuine concern. She gave her the benefit of the doubt. ‘Who knows?’ she replied. ‘They could strike me off or suspend me or they might give me a warning. I’m hoping for the warning, of course, but this wait is no fun.’

  ‘This is so weird, the four of us have somehow managed to get together just as our carefully constructed lives are falling apart.’ Amy threw back the last of her coffee.

  ‘Yours too?’

  ‘Mine too.’ The mug landed on the table with a bang. ‘Rob’s left me. Not only that, he’s been stealing from the company.’

  ‘You’re kidding?’

  ‘I wish I was. I wasn’t going to say anything to any of you but … well, what does it matter? He’s been having an affair with someone who works with us and he’s going to live with her and her two children. A ready-made family – exactly what he always said he didn’t want.’

  Jane registered the bitterness and hurt in her voice. ‘What are you going to do?’

  Amy gave a wan smile. ‘Please don’t tell the others. I shouldn’t have said anything.’

  Jane nodded. The one thing she was supposed to be good at was keeping confidences.

  ‘Do what I’ve always done. Carry on. I had this silly idea that if I found out what happened when I was expelled, I’d feel stronger about coping with what he’s done.’

  ‘And do you?’ Jane sat quite still, waiting for her reply, understanding for the first time the long-lasting repercussions of her actions.

  ‘I think so.’

  ‘I hope I’ve changed.’ Jane folded her hands on her lap. ‘I never thought for a second of the impact on you, just about me.’

  ‘I hope you have, too. Otherwise I feel extremely sorry for your patients.’

  They were laughing as her phone signalled a text. ‘Hang on. It’s Kate.’ Amy picked it up and read the message. ‘She’s in the village and wondering if anyone wants to go out for lunch.’ She looked at the time. ‘I wonder if I’ve got time to—’

  ‘Why don’t we get out of your hair for a while?’ Jane was glad to have a reason to leave. ‘I’ll meet her down there.’

  ‘But you don’t know where she is.’

  Jane gave her a look. ‘Er, sat nav, phone. I think we’ll manage.’

  Amy hit her temple with the heel of her hand. ‘Doh! But only if you’re sure.’

  ‘It’ll be an adventure. You do what you need to do and we’ll catch up when we get back.’

  Jane enjoyed driving the silver Golf they’d hired and was soon on the road that took her down to the village. Unburdening herself to Amy had helped, letting her see for the first time how her behaviour had repeated itself over the years. What a ghastly child she must have been. She had loved being ringleader and had done what she needed to do to keep the position, albeit at the expense of others. But now she saw how that behaviour had continued. Yes, she did like getting her own way, and she would lie if it helped her achieve that. She had been selfish and thoughtless, acting only out of self-interest but perhaps it would work out for the best. It wasn’t too late to learn. In the end she and Paul would be reconciled. He would see her punished. He would understand that she had only been acting in his best interests. She wouldn’t be able to bear it if that didn’t happen.

  21

  I’d never expected Jane, whom I remembered as being so contained and controlling, to open up like that. To me of all people. Respect. That impetuous moment and what followed might well have ruined her life. But I couldn’t help thinking that it was so like the time she stole the watch and planted it in my desk, and lied about me. She only thought of the consequences for herself, no one else. She seemed to understand that now, but I doubted she would ever change. It was too late for that.

  Once she had left, I went straight to my office. I skyped Kerry straight away but there was no reply.

  Why had I told Jane about what Rob had done? I had meant not to say anything but the pressure was intolerable. I’d been doin
g my very best to put on a good show but inside I was cracking up.

  Suddenly I didn’t feel so confident about how everything would turn out. How would I manage without him? Really. We had been together for nearly thirty years. It wasn’t long after we met that I’d formulated exactly what I wanted my shops to be. Amy Green would sell my own textile designs but also pieces of furniture and accessories that would go towards creating a certain look. We had been introduced by a friend who thought we’d get on – those matchmaking skills surprised all of us. We hit it off from the moment we met for a drink in a pub near his flat. Rob was tall, sporty and though not conventionally handsome, he had a great sense of humour and a way of looking at me that made me laugh and go weak every time. He was working in the finance department of Jolly’s in Bath and was pretty full of himself.

  What else did I love about him? So much. But most of all, his wild enthusiasms. On a Saturday morning, he might announce that we were going to London or Bristol or one of the Cotswold villages for the weekend. He’d buy extravagant treats to liven up our suppers of scrambled eggs or baked beans until he took up cooking as a hobby. But that didn’t come until we were living together. I let him choose our first house, the pretty little Georgian cottage in Wingfield, just outside Bath, and in exchange he let me furnish it from top to bottom using all the junk shops and sales that I knew. We’d spent weekends restoring pieces of furniture, trailing round car boot sales together, or going for long country walks when we talked about our hopes and dreams.

  So many people asked where I got the bits and pieces I collected that I began to dream of having a shop, turning my hobby into a job. When I told Rob, he thought it was a brilliant idea. Without his belief and backing I probably wouldn’t have dared to embark on it. We found the first shop together – small but in a position where there would be passing trade. At the beginning, he helped me with the financial side of things and then as the business expanded, he took it over altogether, and eventually he took it on as a full-time job.