by Traci Sek
"Hey, Jess having a good time?"
I nod. Every muscle in my body freezes at the sound of his faint voice.
"Are you ok?" He asks. Get it together, Jess, I think. I take another deep breath.
"Can we talk?" His smile fades.
He looks at the other guys. "Excuse me for a minute." He gestures for me to follow. We end up in the living room that’s off-limits. He sits down on the couch and waits expectantly for me to start.
"We aren't supposed to be in here."
"Don't worry. I'm her best friend. I practically live here. Now sit."
I do as he commands.
"So, what's up?" He asks. I take a deep breath and force my eyes to look at his handsome face.
"Ok, first, I'm sorry for avoiding you. I know we should have talked sooner. It's just really hard for me to talk to a guy I barely know."
"It's ok, Jess, I get it. I'm a stranger, and you don't trust me. I wouldn't trust me too. It's not like I've given you the easiest time with all my cheesy lines, but I thought saving your life would have made you trust me at least a little." He pinched his thumb and forefinger together to show me just how little.
"Spencer, it's not that I don't trust you and I'm so grateful that you saved me, I'm just ashamed. I'm embarrassed by myself. You have no idea. I don't want you to think of me any less or tell anybody at school. I have enough problems trying to fit in."
"I'm not that shallow or the kind of guy that runs around gossiping and telling everyone's secrets."
"Well, Gia told me a little about your past, which helps. I'm just going to take a chance and hope that you don't laugh."
"I swear on my grandmother's grave. I won't."
I spend the next half hour describing in detail everything to him. The reason I didn't want him walking me home the night of the dance, why I’ve acted the way I did towards him. Once I started, I just couldn't stop. When I finished, I looked at him. He stares blankly at me.
"Well? Say something, anything. You hate me, right? You probably think I'm psycho and disgusting and never want to speak to me again."
He puts his finger to my lips, grabs my face gently, and leans in close to me. I can feel my eyes voluntarily close, but I quickly recover and open them again.
"We shouldn't," I say quietly, instantly regretting my decision. "If you're going to kiss me, I want it to be at the right time. Don't do it because you pity me."
"I don't pity you. But you're right." He backs away.
"What are you guys doing in here?" We turn around to see Julia standing in the doorway, her hands on her hips. "We were just talking."
"Uh, huh, Mark is looking for you."
"Ok." He gets up and looks down at me.
"I'll talk to you later."
I nod and watch him walk out of the room.
As soon as Spencer is gone, Julia starts to speak.
"Didn't I warn you to stay away from him?"
"You don't get to say who I can talk to or do anything with. So you can warn me all you want to, but I won't listen. I saw you with Eric and Mark, you can’t fool me. You are nothing but a slut." Her eyes narrowed at me as her fists clenched at her sides.
"Oh, so that's how it's going to be?"
My secret is free, and I still have friends. I feel like I can conquer the world. I look Julia in the eye.
"Yeah, that's how it's going to be." And walk past her nudging her shoulder in the process. Screw her. She was not going to control me if I had anything to say about it.
I walk up to the counter and pour myself another drink. I watch Julia worm her way through the crowd to Spencer. She starts laughing with him and touching him. My blood starts to boil.
"Hey, cutie." I hear in my ear. "
"Eric. Hi."
"You owe me a dance." His breath smells like alcohol.
"I don't owe you anything," I sneer.
His face turns from happy to relaxed.
"Oh come on, babe, you're so hot tonight in those little jeans. You know you want to. After all, I saw you that night at the dance. You have some moves."
"Wait. I thought you said earlier you never seen me before."
"Well, I lied," he shrugs his broad shoulders and smirks.
I don’t reply; instead, I turn to leave, but he grabs my arm.
"Get your hand off of me," I say through gritted teeth.
"That's no way to speak to your friend."
I look towards Spencer, but Julia’s now grinding on him. I feel sick. I try to pull away again, but he pulls me towards him, making me bump right into his chest. He puts his other hand on my stomach.
"Listen, slut, I asked you nicely. Don't make me do something I might regret."
I try not to feel the hurt creeping up through my eyes at the word slut. My heart rate picks up speed.
Again I try to pull away from him, but he’s too strong.
"You're hurting me," I start to cry. He proceeds to pull me away from the crowd and pushes me up against a wall. My blood is now ice, frozen, and unmoving. He starts to kiss my neck sloppily as I shudder.
"Spencer," I scream as loud as I can. I’m not sure if anybody can hear me, the music is so loud. The more I push and beat on his chest, the closer he gets caging me in with his massive body. His arms are like a vise, his body like a clamp.
"Gia, Spencer, Please," I cry. My heart is beating out of control. A scream comes from behind Eric, and with a flash, Eric’s off of me. I slide down the wall watching in horror as punch after punch is thrown at Eric. Spencer’s on top of Eric. A crowd of people surrounding them. Gia pushes her way through the crowd.
"Spencer stop," she screams. "Enough, let him go!"
Two guys come and pull him off. Eric’s now curled up on the floor moaning.
"Everybody out," Spencer yells. "Now!’’ He wriggles out of the two guys arms and comes over to me.
"Are you ok?" His shaky hand pushes the hair out of my face.
All I can do is nod.
"Gia! What is going on down here?" Her mother’s now standing in the kitchen.
"Nothing Mom just a little miss hap, it's all settled. Everybody is leaving." Two guys drag Eric out of the house.
"Gia, how many times do I have to tell you, only invite a few people? This always gets out of control! Clean up this mess before your father gets home."
"Ok, mom."
Once her mom is out of sight, Gia turns to Spencer.
"What the hell was that? What's gotten into you?"
"Eric had Jessa pinned up against the wall. He was touching her, and she was crying and screaming." He was still panting.
Gia looks at me.
"Is this true?"
"Yes, he’s drunk. Gia, I tried to stop him, but he was too strong."
Gia runs over and gives me a hug. "I'm so sorry! There isn't supposed to be any alcohol here. Those idiots!"
"No, Gia. I'm sorry. I didn't want to ruin your party."
"No, you didn't. It's ok. They needed to go anyway. I'll understand if you want to leave, though."
"No, I'm fine now. I just need to freshen up."
The last thing I want to do is go home and face Roy. It’s after midnight. He would be pissed and never let me go anywhere again. I notice Julia standing near the drink counter, watching intently. Her lips puckered as if she was trying to hold back her laughter. I can't help but wonder if this was planned.
The Other Side of Things
Spencer
I arrive at the party shortly after seven. Only a few people are here, which is fine with me. I’m hoping it won't get out of hand like last time. I’m not in the mood to drag another drunk person out of her house. Although I liked Gia's parents, they weren't necessarily the most responsible. Her dad’s a researcher at the local hospital, and her mom had inherited family money and never really had to work. Gia being their only daughter got away with everything.
I walk into the house and decide to be playful. "Let's get this party started!" I yell.
Everybody ch
eers. I glance to my right and see Jessa standing at the drink counter. I wouldn't admit this out loud, but she makes my heart dance to a rhythm I never felt before. Instead of risking her noticing, I put on my best act and smile and follow it with a wink.
I continue to walk and without looking back. I’m not sure what’s going in Jessa’s head. She’s so hard to read. It drives me crazy. Jessa still hasn't talked to me after the night of the dance. Up until the pizza place yesterday, she had done a great job of avoiding me.
"Hey, Spencer," Julia says as she snakes her long thin arms around my neck for a hug. Something is going on with her too. She never hugged me or flirted with me until Jessa came around. I just fake it as always and oblige. Julia’s not my type, but I’m not the type of guy to hurt anyone's feelings.
"Hey, Julia. What's up?"
"Nothing. Eric and Mark were just catching me up on some boring sports." She rolls her eyes dramatically. Fake. I smile and nod. I’ve mastered the art of being fake; it was the only way to get where I am today. I spot Anthony and Mike, two guys that were on the student body team. Anthony’s treasurer and Mike is secretary.
"Hey, guys."
"Hey, Spence." They both say in unison, followed by their signature handshake we had invented when we were first elected.
"Crazy party as usual. Gia knows how to attract the people," Anthony says with a smirk.
"Yeah, I don't know how she does it."
The music pounding in my ears makes it super hard to concentrate on what they are talking about. Something about the fundraiser and what’s to come in the future: I just smile and nod. Suddenly Jessa’s standing in front of me. I can tell she’s nervous.
"Can we talk?" She yells over the music hesitantly.
I’m not sure if this is good or bad, but I’m not going to waste the only opportunity to talk to her. I tell the guys I’ll be back and gesture for Jessa to follow me. We need a quiet spot, and I know the perfect place. I take her to the 'off-limits room,’ which always manages to stay untouched.
"We aren't supposed to be in here," Jessa says. She’s playing with her fingers, not looking at me.
"Don't worry. I'm her best friend. I practically live here. Now sit."
She sits down slowly next to me but still won't look at me.
"So, what's up?"
She looks up at me with those blue-green eyes of hers. Her eyes are full of pain, regret, and sadness. Why is a girl this beautiful so sad? I stay quiet, ready to listen intently.
"First, I'm sorry for avoiding you. I know we should have talked sooner. It's just tough for me to talk to a guy I barely know."
"It's ok, Jess; I get it. I'm a stranger, and you don't trust me. I wouldn't trust me. It's not like I’ve given you the easiest time with all my cheesy lines, but I thought saving your life would have made you trust me even just a little."
She tells me how grateful she is for saving her life and that it wasn't easy for her to open up about her embarrassing life. I must say, I feel a little hurt by her words, but I push it aside. This isn't about me.
"I'm not the kind of guy who runs around gossiping and telling everyone's secrets."
She nods, and I swear to her that I won't laugh at her or repeat what she’s told me. For the next hour, she opens up to me, and I listen carefully. I feel so many emotions wash through me. I’m sad for her, I’m confused, and most of all, all I want to do is grab her and kiss her. Keep her safe. I didn't even realize she stopped talking until she tells me to say something. But I can't. I don't know what to say. She continues to ramble, and I put my finger over her soft lips. I grabbed her face gently with both my hands and leaned in towards her.
"We shouldn't," she says. I’m so close I can feel the tip of her lips. "If you're going to kiss me, I want it to be at the right time. Don't do it because you pity me." She’s right. This isn't the right time.
"I don't pity you, but you're right." I slowly back away, feeling awkward.
"What are you guys doing here?" I jump and look up to see Julia. She had impeccable timing.
"We were just talking."
"Uh-huh, Mark is looking for you." I nod and get up from the couch. I look at Jessa, "I'll talk to you later."
I probably should have asked Julia where Mark was before I passed her. It’s now a sea of people crowding such a small space. I push my way through the people looking for Mark. Some are dancing; some are laughing and roughhousing. I finally spot him near the television, playing a round of video games.
"Hey man," I yell, bending down over his shoulder.
"Hey, what's up?"
"You tell me. Julia said, “You were looking for me." He stops playing for a minute, giving me a look of confusion. "Nah, bro. You must have heard wrong."
Now I’m feeling stupid. I pat him on the shoulder and walk away. I start to head outside for some fresh air, but his arm pulls me back. I turn around to see Julia. Before I can ask why she has sent me to Mark, she turns around and grinds on me. It makes me a little uncomfortable. There’s nowhere for me to move, therefore making me stuck. Her touch is nothing compared to Jessa.
The crowd of people pushes her into me as our bodies mold into each other. I decide to just go with it as I have no other choice. It feels like an eternity until the song ends, but as soon as it does, I push her off. As I do, I hear my name. I look behind me and then to my left. When I don't see anyone trying to get my attention, I move closer to the drink counter. I hear my name again, this time slightly louder and if I am not mistaking the panicked sound.
My heart starts to race. I can't be losing my mind. I begin to look in every direction until I slowly see her. Jessa. Eric has her pinned to the wall, and she’s trying to push him away. I see her scream again, her lips say my name, and I see red. I push past the crowd as fast as I can, not caring who I hurt in the process.
The minute I reach the asshole, I start to yell and grab his shirt. I throw him down on the floor and start punching him everywhere I can. I can't hear a thing. All I keep seeing is him touching Jessa, making me even angrier.
I feel someone rip me from him and hold me back. My heart's pounding and the adrenaline pulsing through my veins is so hard I could pass out.
"Everybody out now," I scream. Two guys come and pull, now curled up on the floor, Eric out of the house. I wriggle out of the grip the guy had me in and go to Jessa.
"Are you ok?" I push a strand of hair out of her face. She’s trembling but nods.
"What the hell was that," Gia’s yelling at me as people are retrieving out of the front door.
I explain what happened to Gia, who is shocked and runs to Jessa. I get up and leave the room for some fresh air.
Lies
I walk up to Gia's room where my bag is and get dressed into some sweatpants. I stare at myself in the mirror for a moment. All the words Eric had whispered in my earrings in my head. Slut, you know you want me to, after all, I’ve seen you dance. I shake my head, trying not to cry again. I wish I never danced like that with Spencer. None of this would have happened.
I hear footsteps coming down the hallway, so I quickly zipped my bag, walked to the door, and looked outside. A tall, dark figure stands at the end of the hall, opening the door to a room. For a moment, the lights that come from the door illuminate the hallway giving off a faint glow. "Honey, I'm home." The deep raspy voice says before closing the door behind him. Hmm, must be Gia's dad. I head downstairs to find Spencer sitting with his head down at one of the tables. Gia, Alex, and Julia are holding big black garbage bags, collecting garbage. Julia looks at me spitefully as she shoves the bag at me.
"Your turn," she seethes and then walks away. I roll my eyes, put the bag down, and walk over to Spencer.
"Are you ok? I'm so sorry for everything."
He lifts his head and looks at me. He has a cut on his lip, and his eyes are tired. He’s holding an ice pack on his knuckles.
"Why are you, sorry? It wasn't your fault."
"I think it was. I should have never d
anced with you like I did that night. Apparently, every guy in school thinks I'm a slut, and I will randomly grind my ass on anybody who walks."
"Don't think like that. Eric is a loser, a prick, and he's arrogant. He deserved everything I gave him tonight."
"What about your reputation? This can't possibly look good."
"Screw my reputation. I'm so tired of putting on this act for everyone. If they don't like me sticking up for someone getting mishandled, I don't care."
"Wow, I never thought I'd hear you say that," I giggle, trying to lighten the mood.
"You're funny."
"Hey, guys! Come on, we are going to watch a movie," Gia yells from across the room.
"Do you want to sit with me?" I ask, turning back towards Spencer. "I mean, unless you're already sitting with Julia or you want to sit by yourself, I totally understand. I mean..."
"Yes, I will," he plainly states.
I’m shocked for a moment. "Oh, ok. Cool." That funny feeling is back swirling in the pit of my stomach.
"You know you’re even prettier when you get all nervous and babble."
Wait, did he just call me pretty? I smile. "Thanks."
We sit down on one section of the couch as Gia turns off the lights. Julia is in one of the swivel chairs, and Gia and Alex are sitting at the other end of the sofa. Sam’s on the floor. I can't help but look at Julia, who, I swear I see, giving me a dirty look. Spencer proceeds to put his arm around me, and I lean in towards his chest.
The next morning, I wake up from the couch, a blanket is draped over me. Spencer’s not around. Neither Alex, Julia, or Gia. How late is it? I hear giggling coming from the kitchen. As I enter the kitchen Gia, Julia, and Sam are sitting around the counter.
"Hey, sleepyhead," Gia says.
"Good morning. What time is it?"
"Only nine am."
"Oh, ok. You guys are up early."
"Well, Alex had to sneak out with Spencer this morning around six. My dad would be pissed if he walked in to see Alex and me sleeping together. So, I was awake, and Julia and Sam just woke up at 8:30. So no worries."
"Nice."