COWBOY (Unfit Hero Book 5)

by Hayley Faiman

  They’re bad.

  Really bad.

  Heat creeps throughout my entire body at the sight of them. They’ll have to be censored, but I have no doubt the uncensored ones will be leaked everywhere.

  Tears fill my eyes at the sight of them.

  I’m on my knees, Sebastian is behind me, his hand is wrapped around my throat lifting me slightly. My breasts are on full display, every pierced inch of them. My diamond-studded bars twinkling.

  Fuck.

  I’m America’s Sweetheart. I’ve never even had a true nude scene. Nobody knows my nipples are pierced, or that I have a tattoo right under my right breast. It’s a simple scroll, nothing bold or big. It just says, breathe. I know its cliché as hell, but it’s just for me.

  Shit.

  I call Grace, immediately. Biting the corner of my bottom lip, I wonder if this is going to be the end of my image. And then I wonder if I care. The wholesome, sweet image was something that just happened. It’s not something that I was trying to have, or become, it’s just what I fell into.

  It could all be over now.

  What are people going to say?

  What are my fans going to think?

  Shit.

  FORD

  Climbing up on Starlight, my finicky-as-fuck horse, I click my teeth and gently snap the reins. She whinnies before she begins to trot toward the pasture. She knows what we’re doing this morning, it’s what we do every morning. We check the cattle. We could both do it blindfolded.

  My straw hat firmly in place, I look out over the horizon and wonder just how fucking lucky I was to be born into a cattle ranching family. Mama and Daddy would be proud of the little ranch I have now.

  I grin at the sight of one of my prized Texas Longhorns. He snorts at me, but is too fucking lazy to stand. He’s a big fucker with a spread of at least eight-feet between his horns. He’s worth a fortune, but I can’t seem to part with him. I even named the motherfucker.

  Otis.

  Leaning forward, Starlight speeds past Otis and toward the rest of the herd. They’re all grazing, too content to even notice my arrival. I scan the cattle, counting the heads, and once I’m satisfied, I ride over to the stock tank to make sure the pump is working and my animals have plenty of water in this Texas heat.

  It's not time to move them closer to the other water areas, but soon.

  Next, I decide to do a perimeter run of my fencing, just to make sure everything is intact. I still have the North fence to repair, it’s older than dirt and hanging on by a thread, one good windstorm and it’ll be destroyed.

  I have to get it fixed in the next few weeks, a project I’ll probably start up tomorrow. It’s coming up on stock show season and I know I won’t be home for a while. Cattle need to be sold and since this is a one-man farm, aside from the seasonal help that I hire, I’m the only one who can do it all.

  Starlight pulls back, shaking her head. I know what that means. She wants to run. “You wanna go, girl?” I ask as I lean down closer to her ear.

  She whinnies again and I click my tongue against my teeth twice before she takes off. I let her run, enjoying the way that the warm wind feels against my face. Lifting my hand, I hold on to my hat as she flat out hauls fucking ass.

  When she’s done, she lets out a neigh as she slows down to a comfortable trot. We’re near the front gate of the property, almost running the entire length of my land. Sitting up, I look out at the county road, one that almost all of my friends live off of, all but Rylan and Channing.

  A black fancy car drives by slowly. Frowning, I sit up a bit taller as I guide Starlight closer to the entrance gate. I’m careful to keep her away from the cattle guard, but walk us up to the fence line.

  Aiming my eyes toward the car, I watch as it slows down, stopping right in front of my entrance. I wait, wondering who the fuck it could be and why would they stop right in front of my place?

  Tilting my head to the side, I wait for them to get out, whoever it is doesn’t. I watch as they turn around and speed off down the road.

  Turning Starlight around, I head back to the barn. I don’t have time to sit around and wonder who the fuck came driving down the road, I have about a million other fucking things to do before the sun goes down.

  The rest of the day, I focus on working, but I can’t keep that mysterious black sedan out of my mind. Who the hell would come down here, stop, then turn around? Anyone who makes their way this far down the county road usually knows exactly where they’re going.

  Picking up a towel, I wipe the sweat off of my face as I reach for a bottle of water and take a healthy drink. Deciding I need a break, I walk over to a small barrel next to the barn and sink down.

  Leaning back against the side of the barn, I let out a sigh, then groan as my phone alerts me to a new text message.

  BEAU: CALL ME.

  Frowning, I touch the phone icon and call him.

  “You sittin’ down?” he asks.

  “Yeah,” I drawl.

  He lets out a grunt. “There’re pictures of Stephanie surfacing,” he murmurs.

  “Annnd I care because?” I ask, unsure why he’s bringing it up to me.

  I suppose it’s no secret that I still feel something for Stevie. I’m not sure anymore how to define what I feel, if it’s love, hate, lust, or straight-up confusion, but the truth is that I do feel something for her.

  “It’s bad, brother,” he grunts. “It’s sex pics. I don’t know how they even got them. They aren’t grainy either, they’re crystal fucking clear and they are everywhere.”

  I stay silent for a moment. Something fills me and I don’t know exactly what it is, but I don’t like the way it feels. My stomach twists at the thought of anyone seeing Stephanie like that, anyone at all, let alone the whole fucking world.

  “I gotta go,” I grunt.

  Without another word, I open up the Safari app on my phone and I search for nude pictures of Sterling LaRue. They show up as the first option. And Beaumont was right, they are crystal fucking clear. My eyes widen at the sight of her. She’s gorgeous. She also has her nipples pierced.

  Fuck—it’s hot as shit too.

  Chapter Three

  STEPHANIE

  My phone has been ringing nonstop. So many people have called me that I’ve silenced it and then decided to go for a drive. Damion and Grace are the only two people I’m answering calls from and thankfully, they believed me when I said that I was okay and after several calls and reassurances, they’re finally leaving me alone—for now.

  Turning down a county road, a road that I know almost as well as my own childhood street, I sigh. I don’t know why I’m driving down here, maybe to feel a sense of nostalgia. I’m surprised by how many more driveways there are on each side of the road then there used to be.

  Some of the entrance gates are clearly expensive, not to mention gorgeous. It makes me wonder who is living out here these days? I know they can’t be a local. Nobody from Gallup has money like that.

  My breath is stolen from me when I finally see it. On the right-hand side of the two-lane, unlined road. The two tall pieces of wood, with another going across the top. There is a piece of metal hanging down that’s new, FBM. My heart twists at the sight of it. It’s his initials.

  There’s a metal gate with just a padlock and chain to keep it closed, that isn’t new, in fact, I think it’s probably original from Ford’s granddaddy.

  Old horse fence is attached to each side of the wood entrance, and I know that the fence surrounds the entire property. I also know that Ford is the one who has been repairing it on his own since he was thirteen-years-old.

  I remember riding on the back of his horse to check the fencing when we were young, then we’d picnic under a tree and I’d watch him work in the hot Texas sunshine. More times than not he’d peel his shirt off and work in just his Wrangler jeans and straw cowboy hat.

  I loved it—every single second.

  In those moments, I would dream about living out on this r
anch with him. Our lives would have been so simple, so organic. Slowing down, I stop my car as I stare out at his family land. This land has been in the Matthews family for generations.

  Ultimately, my dreams were bigger than a simple, slow, organic lifestyle. I wanted the city. I wanted to try to make it big. I wanted to try everything. Ford wouldn’t have ever come with me, and even if he had, he would’ve hated every single second.

  This is his peace. Not once did he ever express an interest in living anywhere but on this ranch. I had no choice but to run. As much as I hated hurting him and the way that I did it.

  On that day, facing him there with all our family and friends, I knew that I would make us both miserable if I walked down that aisle.

  Turning my car around, I leave the ranch and head back into town. My stomach rumbles and I decide to get to the grocery store and grab some food that is fresh and real. I can’t handle diner food or Lulamae’s judgmental gaze again, not today.

  Heading toward HEB, I smile as soon as I turn into the parking lot. God, it’s been a lifetime since I’ve been inside of an HEB grocery store. Finding a spot, I pull in and stare at the entrance. Not a single thing has changed, absolutely nothing.

  Keeping my glasses on, I climb out of the car and head inside. I’m dressed down today, wearing jeans and a t-shirt with flat sandals. I didn’t put any makeup on and my hair is in a braid down my back in hopes that I won’t be recognized.

  Though, since Lulamae knew exactly who I was yesterday, my hopes are not too high on that front. Grabbing a handheld basket, I carry it against my side as I walk toward the fresh produce. I’m surprised at the size of the organic produce department, it’s triple the size that I imagined it would be.

  Reaching for the Fredericksburg yellow peaches, I moan as I hold a peach up to my nose. It smells amazing. Smells like home. I shouldn’t buy any, there is way too much sugar in peaches, but I can’t stop myself from placing two in my basket.

  “Amazing, right?” a woman’s voice says next to me.

  Looking over, I smile at her. She’s got a young toddler sitting in the basket, her legs swinging as her hands curl around the handle and a young child sitting in the large part of the cart. The woman has long blonde hair that’s braided down her shoulder and though she looks tired, she also looks happy.

  “I haven’t had one in years,” I admit.

  She tilts her head to the side, her eyes searching my face. I expect to see recognition cross her features as she figures out who I am, but it doesn’t. She only smiles, then turns to the little boy.

  “Reese, honey, can you grab a couple of those peaches for Daddy? He asked for peach jam this summer.”

  I almost moan at the thought of peach jam, of Fredericksburg peach jam. She continues putting things in her basket near me, and I can’t help but watch her. She’s a few years younger than me, but she looks blissfully happy. So damn happy. I wonder if I could have been that happy had I stayed here?

  “You okay?” she asks a few moments later.

  Shaking my head, I give her a smile and shove my glasses up on my head. “Yeah, I’m sorry. You just look really happy. It’s sweet.”

  She frowns, then smiles softly. “I am really happy.”

  We make small talk for a few minutes and I find out that she’s been married a little over three years and that she’s lived here her whole life. I don’t recognize her name when she introduces herself as Channing, but since she’s a bit younger than me, I probably didn’t go to school with her.

  “You know, this may sound weird, but a bunch of us decided to do a barbeque out by the lake tonight. You’re more than welcome to join us. We’re just going to grill and hang out, the more the merrier.”

  Jesus, but I forgot what small-town life was like. I would never invite a perfect stranger anywhere near me in LA, even if I was going to be in public.

  I think about telling her no, but then I remember that I have nowhere to be except alone with my thoughts and my phone that has those pictures and millions of missed calls because of those pictures.

  “Okay.” I nod. “What do you want me to bring?”

  She grins, her eyes searching mine. “Just yourself and a side to share. We’re going to do burgers and hot dogs. Tulip always brings desserts for everyone, and I’ve already begged her for her Hummingbird cake. I hope I’m not stepping on any toes, but you’re single, right?” she asks.

  I let out a snort, unable to keep it in. “I am,” I say.

  “Would it be weird if I said that I really think my friend would totally be into you. I mean he’d be pissed as hell if he knew I was doing this and there’s no pressure, it’s just our whole group is couples and I know he feels like a third wheel sometimes, might be nice if he meets someone new,” she says with a shrug.

  My heart hammers against my chest and I wonder if I should cancel, then I decide that maybe I would meet someone nice and who the hell cares? Plus, I can leave any time that I want to. I’ve never been shy, not even when I was a kid, why would I be now?

  “I’m only in town for a few weeks, but yeah, that sounds like fun.” I smile.

  Before leaving Channing and the store, I get enough food to put together a charcuterie tray to share, along with some food to keep in the hotel for myself.

  I’m going to allow myself the evening to be around these new people, but tomorrow I need to get started on the task at hand, the whole reason I’m here. Tomorrow, I need to go through my childhood home.

  FORD

  I’m not sure why we aren’t having a barbeque at anyone’s house, but instead we’re doing it at the fucking park, but I decide not to complain.

  Grabbing my fishing poles and tackle box from the back, I decided to do a little catfishing while I’m here. Reese likes to cast his line out, so I made sure to bring the Cars fishing pole that I grabbed for him at Walmart about a year ago.

  “Unca Ford,” Reese yells at the top of his lungs as soon as he sees me approaching.

  I watch as his little legs start to move and I set the fishing poles and tackle box down right before he launches himself into my arms. Picking him up, I pull him against my chest as he giggles.

  “We fish?” he asks.

  “Yeah, buddy. We’ll go fishin’.”

  “Yay,” he cries.

  Setting him down on his feet, I pick up my box and the poles, shifting it all to one hand so that I can hold his other hand. Together we walk hand-in-hand to the rest of the group. All my friends are here, with their little ones.

  I can’t stop the pang of sadness that washes through me at the sight of everyone with their families. That’s what I always dreamed of and I don’t have it, at my age, probably never will. The only thing that I can be at this point is the best fucking Uncle Ford that I can be. And I will.

  Channing and Exeter are standing near the food, arranging shit around as I approach the group.

  “Reese, you shouldn’t have run off,” Channing scolds, a small smile playing on her lips.

  Reese looks down at his feet, then lifts his eyes up to his mama’s. “I had to,” he simply states.

  “You had to?” she asks, arching a brow.

  He nods his little head. “Unca Ford needed me,” he sighs.

  Pressing my lips together, I try fucking hard not to laugh at the kid. “He needed you?” Channing asks him when he doesn’t continue.

  “Unca Ford is all alone, Mama. He needed me to help him not be lonely,” he explains, his blue eyes wide and too fucking cute.

  He’s far too observant, or maybe he’s been listening to Rylan and Channing talk when he isn’t supposed to. Doesn’t matter, I take no offense because he’s absolutely correct.

  Channing can’t hold it in, she laughs softly as she shakes her head. “Go on and help your daddy,” she instructs.

  “Bye,” Reese calls as he turns and runs toward Rylan and Wyatt who are getting the grill ready.

  “Sorry about that,” Channing murmurs.

  Shaking my head, I
reach for Brooks who is wiggling in her arms. “Goddamn, woman, what’re you feedin’ this kid?” I ask on a groan as I pull her into my arms.

  She gasps, lifting her hand to her chest, feigning offense. “She is happy and healthy, Ford,” she snaps, wearing a smile.

  “I feel that, almost threw my back out,” I grumble.

  She laughs, shaking her head. “You’re full of it, Ford Matthews.”

  Brooks lifts her little hands and slaps them against my cheeks, forcing my attention from her mama to her. Smiling at her, I look into her blue eyes, eyes that match her father’s to a T.

  “Hey, honey,” I rasp. “You’re a big girl now, ain’t ya?”

  She babbles, then blows a raspberry, getting her baby slobber all over me. Lifting one of my hands to the back of her head, I close my eyes and let out a loud laugh. Then, I dip my chin and bury my face in her neck, giving her the same raspberry treatment causing her to wiggle, giggle, and squirm in my arms.

  Listening to a baby’s laugh would soothe the largest ache in the world, and Brooks’ laugh does just that. Keeping her in my arms, I walk over to Louis and Tulip who are sitting next to Wyatt and Rylan who are busy at work manning the grill.

  “Ford, brother,” Louis says, standing up. Extending my palm, we shake as he claps me on the back.

  “Hey,” I murmur.

  Tulip stands, but Louis walks over to help her up. “I’m not an invalid,” she huffs.

  My eyes flick down to her belly, then lift to meet hers. “How much longer?”

  “Three months.” She smiles as she reaches for her stomach. I watch as she lovingly holds her belly, she lets out a puff of air. “I think Louis makes gigantic babies though, because I feel absolutely huge.”

  Brooks laughs, which causes all of us to chuckle. “I think you look beautiful, Tullie,” Louis grunts.

  “You do, Tulip. You look beautiful.” I smile.