Fast Lane

by Margot Radcliffe

  “Okay, okay,” she said, lowering onto him with a gasp.

  His head fell back onto the pillow in relief. “Son of a bitch,” he gritted as she began to move. Slowly at first because she was an evil woman, but then faster. His hands gripped her hips, guiding her even as she set the pace. Her sighs and moans filled the air as he watched her work him. She was sexy as hell above him, her dark hair falling in sheets over her breasts, the dark peach nipples poking out as she moved, her breasts swaying as she bucked. White teeth bit into her puffy pink bottom lip as she concentrated on bringing them both to pleasure.

  “You like it?” Blair asked, breathless, her hands coming to rest on his chest for purchase as her pace quickened.

  “You know I do, Blair,” he told her, his hand coming around to her front to play with her clit. He was rewarded with a desperate cry. “I like everything you do, so I wouldn’t worry overmuch about this. You’re always guaranteed to make me come considering just the thought of you a million miles away gets me so hard I have to stay inside the hotel on my free days and get off.”

  Blair moaned again as his thumb sped up over her slick nub, her inner muscles clenching over him. A low, thundering pulse began in his lower back, signaling that he was close. Blood thundered through his body and in his ears. “You deserve to be loved, Cole,” she gasped as he took her over, her muscles spasming around him as she came. Eyes closed as she came back to herself, “I hope you finally know that.”

  The words, so softly delivered as she came hit his heart like an anvil. He levered up and flipped her over and hammered into her, trying like hell to accept them, wanting to be able to more than anything, but fearing she would take them back at any moment. They both came again together and he was murmuring his love and devotion and promising wild things like horses and children and rainbows as he exploded, his whole previous world crumbling around him as they built a new one together.

  When he’d returned to himself, he pulled her into his crook, their breathing the only sounds in the room as they fell into a lazy state of bliss. He caressed Blair’s back—her soft puffs of breath glanced his chest as she fell asleep.

  Almost asleep himself, he realized his phone was buzzing in his pants on the floor. Able to reach down to get them, he pulled out the phone and checked his incoming message.

  At the words printed across the screen, his entire body froze.

  Then before the sun rose in the morning, he was gone.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  BLAIR WASN’T FIT for relationships, she knew that now. The jury was in, no more surveys needed, no additional mistakes left to be made, she shouldn’t be allowed to make serious decisions about her love life without certified counsel.

  Back in the vineyard, Nate stared at her as she hunked off a small piece of cake and put it on a serving plate before taking the rest of the dessert back with her to her office.

  “Are you going to tell us what happened?” Nate asked for the fifty millionth time. “You know you should tell me first so I can at least give Mom something. She’s been worried sick since you threw her out of your house last week when she came by with a care package.”

  Blair rolled her eyes. “I did not throw her out of my house,” she said, again, for the fifty-one millionth time. “But she was already plotting to send Thou Who Shall Not be Named Part Two a poisoned pie, Nate. She’s literally gone zero dark thirty and only force will get through to her.”

  Nate nearly argued but even he had to agree that Cole, though a maiming would be the very appropriate punishment for what he’d done to her—checking out of Louisiana and leaving her completely by herself without so much as a word—deserved a more appropriate punishment than death.

  Well, excuse her, he had also left a note on the pillow before he’d left. A hasty scrawl of, “I’m sorry. Be well.” And that was all she wrote from the man who was a river of words on any given day. His assistant had shown up after she’d woken up with a curt explanation that Cole had other business and had left Louisiana. She’d gone back home, but texted and called for a full three days until she finally got the message that he was finished with her.

  And fine, Cole was an asshole who she was never going to see again and Blair was fine. So extremely fine she didn’t know just when she’d been more fine. She was going to eat this cake, keep her mother from murdering another one of her failed exes, lock herself in the winery offices and never come out. There was enough wine in there to numb her for the rest of her life. No big deal. Hey, at least this one wasn’t married!

  And if she continued to be assaulted by memories of his face as he told her he loved her, the gentle way he touched her and his crafty mouth, luckily she made wine so she had enough alcohol available to make her forget.

  “Okay,” Nate relented. “You’re right, she probably needs some firm boundaries, but I know something happened with you and Cole.” He glanced pointedly at her platter of cake. “Maybe you should talk about it.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about, Nate,” she told him. “Cole and I didn’t work out, not that I ever expected us to, but we didn’t and breakups happen to the best of us, so I’m just going to eat this cake and in a little bit I will be just great. There’s no need for you to worry. I’ve got this.” Her rage would guide her through it this time. Because unlike last time she hadn’t hurt anyone else, didn’t have the gnawing guilt of breaking up a marriage to contend with. No, now she was simply mad and she was done keeping it in. Done pretending as if her feelings didn’t matter, that people could treat her shabbily and somehow it would be her fault. Nope, sorry, not anymore.

  So maybe she should thank Cole because she was never going to let herself be taken advantage of again and she felt empowered by that. He’d also taught her to trust in herself and her instincts because she’d known he was trouble the moment he’d walked in the tasting room door and she should have run away from him as fast as she possibly could. Which, okay, was not very fast as she was not an athlete, but still.

  Only two weeks had passed since she’d flown back to California alone, her hopes and dreams for the future drowned like the sediment in the bottom of a wine barrel. After a couple of days of pure rage and denial that she’d let such a thing happen to her again, the internet searches were what finally brought her to terms with it and had her investing in self-renewal. It was as she originally suspected, men were awful and she was wonderful, therefore she no longer needed them to be happy.

  Articles abounded of Cole with countless girls on his arm in Italy and then France. In fact, just moments ago she’d seen one today of him in Brazil with a chipper-looking blonde on his arm looking at him like he was the cake Blair was currently carrying and she a starving child at a birthday party. So apparently, he’d extended his international contract with the station so he could gallivant across the world sleeping with all the women he wanted.

  He’d gotten one whiff of commitment with her and that had been enough for him to realize that he preferred his regular carefree life. She’d done the work to awaken his libido after his brother’s death and now that he was recovered and his guilt assuaged, he’d returned to his freewheeling ways posthaste.

  God, she’d been so unbearably naive. Every single thing he’d said to her had been a lie and like a lovesick dummy, she’d believed it, had imagined a future with him here in California but also in Baton Rouge. It was ludicrous.

  “He’s called me, you know,” Nate said carefully. “Wanting to know if you were okay.”

  Blair’s jaw locked. “How considerate of him,” she gritted, thinking of how patronizing that was. As if she was so fragile and susceptible to heartbreak that he’d broken her.

  Well, sorry, buddy, Blair Sandoval was not broken, nor would she ever be.

  Which was why when Cole Taggart came walking into the tasting room just like he’d done all those months ago, she didn’t even bother to acknowledge him even though said unb
roken heart was busting.

  “Looks like you have a customer,” she sneered to Nate before swanning out of the building.

  Then she dropped the cake.

  She didn’t mean to drop the cake, but she dropped the cake.

  Cursing at the loss, but not letting it stop her sprint to her car, she hopped in and drove back to her house. There was absolutely no way she was going to stay in the same building or vicinity as Cole. She didn’t care what explanations he might have or how the very sight of him, tall and strong jawed, made her yearn to forgive him.

  No, thank you. She was staying strong and maybe she’d make a panic room out of her closet and wait there until he left again to some exotic foreign country to sensually liaise with a bevy of models.

  Pulling into her garage so he wouldn’t see her car, she flew up the stairs to her house, stopping abruptly on the landing when she realized that this was the first place he’d look after he discovered she wasn’t at the winery.

  “Fuck,” she cursed, irritated all over again that she’d let herself get in this position. All she’d ever wanted was a simple life on the vineyard with a man who liked her and wasn’t married or an international philanderer, and yet, here she was again even after being so careful to not fall in love with a man she shouldn’t. To a man so clearly damaged that he couldn’t accept her love when she’d given it.

  Well, he could crawl on his knees to her house from the winery for all she cared because she was not going to be fooled again.

  Except when she raced back down the stairs to go back outside and drive somewhere off the vineyard she saw a black sedan already gliding at a fast clip down her drive, swinging at the last moment to block the road entirely so she couldn’t get out.

  A growl bubbled up in her throat. But news flash for Cole: she had a four-wheeler in the garage that she used to travel around the vineyard as well and it could go anywhere. So she made a beeline for the outbuilding even as he unfolded his big body from the car and tracked her.

  Wearing a pair of charcoal shorts and a white polo, he shouldn’t look so normal and so clean after annihilating her heart, but that’s what awful people did. They didn’t care who they hurt—it gave them strength or something. Cole had been feeding so long on women’s regard he was practically aging backward.

  “Blair!” he called. His voice was hoarse. She could tell that even from a distance.

  But that wasn’t her problem. Her problem was getting to the four-wheeler before he caught up to her, which with how quickly he moved and his stupidly long legs, he was gaining a lot of ground. She’d reached the door and was unlocking it when he appeared in her peripheral vision.

  * * *

  “Blair, will you please hear me out?” Cole choked out, desperate to get to her before she did something like run him down with her car.

  She didn’t answer, just sped away from him like her feet were on fire. He deserved whatever she was going to throw at him, but he did need her to, in fact, throw it, not just leave the way he had. Like a fucking coward.

  He tracked her as she went inside the garage and walked in through the large door she opened. She was sitting on a four-wheeler, prepared to start it up and get the hell out of Dodge, but Cole wasn’t having it and stood right in front of it. On her other side was a golf cart without a key so the only way for her to leave was to plow right over him. He was only half sure that she wouldn’t do just that. Hell, he’d do it to himself.

  He might get his wish too, because she twisted the key in the ignition, eyes glinting as she revved the engine with her foot on the brake.

  “You’re going to have to get through me first, Blair,” Cole warned. “And I’m not going anywhere ever again.”

  He’d learned a lot of lessons real quick the moment he’d gotten on the plane and back to Europe, leaving her alone in his home. As he’d stood on the side of the same track his brother had died on, he’d seen the rest of his life flash before his eyes. Was he really going to continue living half of one forever? Scott wouldn’t have wanted that. And if their places had been reversed, Cole sure as hell wouldn’t want his brother wandering around like a fucking zombie. He’d want him to be happy.

  So here Cole was, trying to take back his happiness.

  Except it sure as hell wasn’t gonna be easy.

  “Yeah, well, I’ve heard that before,” she bit off bitterly, letting the ATV inch closer to him.

  His big hands wrapped around the handlebars and he braced himself. “I’m sorry, Blair, okay? But please let me explain.”

  “Unless the explanation is amnesia and you suddenly woke up in bed and forgot who I was, I’d say I wouldn’t bother.”

  Cole took a deep breath, his eyes closing because he was in a fight for his life and he was battered. He watched as her gaze locked on his face, cataloging his sallow and pale skin, dark circles under his eyes and red rims around them as well. His stubble was untrimmed, left to grow wild and unkempt and to top it off, there was a big stain on his shirt just off to the side of his abdomen. He’d spilled coffee on the plane and hadn’t bothered to change.

  “I forgot the anniversary of Scott’s death,” he said, his voice low and still tortured. He met her eyes, for the first time letting his pain show to someone. He might be taking back hold of his life, but he’d still carry the loss with him too. “You and I had that incredible day together, you fell asleep in my arms, then I got a text from my sister saying that I’d forgotten to meet them at the gravesite earlier in the day and I lost it, Blair.” He felt the tears in his eyes. “I had such a good time with you that I’d allowed myself to forget him when I’m the last person who should find happiness, let alone so much that I actually for one fucking day forgot that I killed my own brother.”

  The words were choked and broken and tears fell down his cheeks and he let them go. She was worth it. They were worth it.

  Finally, she flipped off the ignition to the four-wheeler and went to him, her arms circling his stomach as he got hold of himself. For the first time in weeks, with her arms around him, he was able to take a full breath.

  “Like I told you before,” Blair said, her voice firm and matter-of-fact. “You did not kill your brother, Cole, it was an accident.”

  “I should have remembered the anniversary,” he said stubbornly, not willing to let himself off the hook for that at least. “They didn’t even text to ask where I was because they know that I’m a shitty brother and a shitty son. And now I’m a shitty boyfriend because I’ve fucked things up with the only woman I’ve ever loved.”

  Blair gave him a wry grin and released herself from his embrace. “That’s probably true, but I have to admit that it’s gratifying to see you brought down a level, doubting yourself.”

  The look he gave her was miserable, but just like when he’d first met her, she was already shaking him out of the guilt trap he’d been in for the past two weeks.

  “Say to me that you didn’t kill your brother,” Blair demanded, pointing a stern finger at him.

  His lips stayed sealed and she flicked him in the chest. “You have a lot to apologize for, Cole,” she reminded him, “but the death of your brother is not one of those things.” She stood firm. “Say it.” Jaw tight, Cole stared at her, unmoving because it was his fault, but he’d forgiven himself and been able to make it up to his family. “If you don’t say it, I’m going to run you over with this four-wheeler and it will be the last time you’ll ever see me.”

  “Because you’ll be in jail,” Cole muttered under his breath.

  “I can hear you!” Blair called from where she’d returned to her perch on the ATV and he held back a smile. Damn, he was doing the right thing here. Against all odds, he’d found the right woman to bring him back from the dead all on some chance visit to a vineyard on his day off. That was the type of serendipity a man had to marvel at.

  So he grabbed his future with both h
ands. “I didn’t kill my brother.”

  “One more time,” she ordered, ruthless.

  “I did not kill my brother,” Cole gritted out, because it still wasn’t easy to say. It probably never would be.

  “Good,” Blair told him briskly. “And maybe you’ll let yourself be happy now and not drag other unsuspecting nice people into your world of pain.” With that, she started the ignition again. “Now get out of my way.”

  Cole’s hands came down on the handlebars again and he glared at her. “No,” he declared, his eyes boring into hers, as if he could make her stay with just a look.

  “It doesn’t matter what you say, Cole, I’ll never trust you again,” she told him. “Those photos with women alone would have done it.”

  That was a hit and he flinched, but refused to back down. “I get that, Blair, and I deserve it, but those photos in the articles were old. I would never do that to you. Nor would I even want to sleep with anyone else. You’re the only person for me. The only one who I would still love even as she threatened to run me over with a recreational vehicle. I’ll take whatever you need to give me, pay whatever penance I need for you to trust me again. But I am asking for at least a chance.”

  She was unmoved.

  But it didn’t matter because he had more to say. “I got the transfer to America, I’ve already bought a house about twenty miles from here, right on the Russian River, so we can take things as slow or as fast as you want. I’d settle for one hour a week of your time, to just see your face and hear your voice.” His voice broke on the last. “I’ve missed you so much, Blair, and I’m so sorry. I just panicked because I should remember him. He was my best friend and brother and being with you is so good that I didn’t even honor the fucking memory of his death. I could barely look at myself in the eye, let alone let you be in love with someone like me. You deserve better, Blair. That’s just the truth and I know it.”

  Something must have gotten through to her because there were tears on her cheeks and his chest had loosened. Maybe he hadn’t lost her after all.