Substitute Bride

by Angela Devine

  The sight of his massive shoulders and powerful chest brought an involuntary thrill to Laura, but she had little time for admiring contemplation. In a rapid series of movements James stooped and pulled off the rest of his clothes. For the first time in her life she saw a naked, fully aroused male and the sight stunned her. Her heart hammered in her throat and she had to moisten her dry lips with her tongue. He was so big, so powerful, so utterly primitive and magnificent.

  As he moved towards her in a silent crouch his eyes were narrowed with desire and his features looked strange and unfamiliar, so that she experienced a moment of panic. He was beside the bed now, his knee already braced on the edge of it and the curly hairs in his groin gleaming like copper wires in the lamplight, when she suddenly caught the scent of his body. It was wild, tangy, reminiscent of salt air and leather and wood smoke. She found it unbearably arousing.

  Suddenly the mattress plunged beneath the weight of his body and he was crouched above her, blocking out most of the light. She felt almost afraid, yet at the same time feverishly excited and eager. Hesitantly reaching up her hand, she stroked his cheek. Turning his head, he caught the pad of flesh at the base of her thumb between his teeth and bit it softly.

  ‘God, I want you,’ he muttered, burying his face in her neck. ‘I’ve never wanted any woman so much in my entire life. We’re going to be good together, Laura, I know we are.’

  Suddenly he lowered his full weight onto her and she almost cried out in surprise. A primitive thrill of arousal tingled through her as she felt the warm, relentless pressure of his body crushing hers. His chest was so strongly muscled, his abdomen so flat and hard, his arms and legs as strong as steel cables. But most unsettling of all was that hot, hard, virile organ that was pressed against her, twitching and pulsating as if it had a separate life of its own. She moved her hips experimentally and felt a current of fire spark through her entire body. James caught his breath sharply.

  ‘If you’re going to play teasing little games like that,’ he warned, ‘I’m going to tease you too. Do you have sensitive ears, Laura?’

  Gasping and writhing as his tongue licked them mercilessly, she discovered that she did. She also discovered that she had a sensitive throat and shoulders and breasts and belly, that her feet were unbearably erotic, that the insides of her thighs could drive her to a frenzy when tormented by James’s tongue, and that the universe exploded into millions of coloured stars when he teased her in the most tantalising place of all.

  ‘Oh, James, please…Oh, heavens, I can’t…I… Oh, no more…Yes! Yes! Yes!’

  With a long, moaning shudder, she contorted violently, thrusting herself against him. While the room was still spinning around her and her blood was thundering in her ears he poised himself deftly above her and gazed down at her.

  ‘Ready to surrender?’ he taunted. And took her.

  She caught her breath, expecting pain, but there was none. Her body was so slick and warm from his loveplay that she felt only a faint ache as he burst through her defences. And that was followed at once by a fierce gladness at the realisation that James was now thrusting deep inside her. She craved him, loved him, needed him. A blind, warm sense of completion flooded through her and she raised her hips, straining to meet him, striving for a closer, deeper union.

  ‘I want you,’ she breathed, winding her legs around him. ‘I want you so badly. Oh, James, I love…I love to feel you…So strong…So-o-o-h…’

  Her last words were lost in an unexpected convulsion that shook her as violently as if she were caught in an earthquake zone. James’s arms tightened around her and her eyes opened briefly. She saw him gazing intently down at her, then her eyelashes fluttered shut and she surrendered once more to the dizzy, rushing exhilaration that was sweeping her along like a flash flood.

  None of this was quite what she had expected. She had thought it would be rather like drifting on a quiet, dreamy lake. Instead it was more like riding over a two-mile steeplechase. But as James’s heartbeat began to accelerate, and his harsh breathing filled the room, she also knew that it was the most passionate, tempestuous, fulfilling experience she had ever had in her life. Suddenly his whole body stiffened and he cried out.

  ‘Laura!’

  An answering passion whipped through her like a storm descending from a clear sky. She felt the shudder that passed through him and it wakened a deep, echoing response within her. Uttering a low moan, she clasped her arms around his neck and drew him down onto the cushion of her shoulder.

  ‘I love you,’ she breathed, and sank back, totally fulfilled.

  Afterwards they lay together for a long time, not talking, but expressing their intimacy in other ways. A row of feather-light nibbling kisses along his eyebrow. A hand trailed possessively down between her breasts and into the softness at the top of her thighs. A long, crushing hug with animal growls and protesting giggles. At last James propped himself on one elbow and drew his fingers down to the sticky moisture between her thighs.

  ‘I’m sorry about that,’ he said in a serious tone. ‘It was unforgivable.’

  ‘What was?’ she asked in alarm. Was he already regretting their lovemaking?

  ‘Not using any protection. But you’re quite safe. You won’t catch anything.’

  His frankness made her face burn scarlet.

  ‘You won’t either,’ she said in a muffled voice, dropping her eyes.

  ‘And you’re all right otherwise?’ he probed.

  ‘Yes, I’m fine.’

  His question baffled her. Why wouldn’t she be all right? Only after she had pondered for a moment did she guess what he was really driving at. Pregnancy? With a feeling of incredulous shock, she realised that it was entirely possible. Unlikely, perhaps, but possible. Yet somehow she couldn’t believe it would ever happen to her. And if it did, I’d be glad! she thought fiercely. I’d love to have your baby, James. But she didn’t say any of this aloud. It was all too new, too strange, too unsettling. Instead she simply nestled her head into his shoulder and rubbed her cheek backwards and forwards against his chest.

  ‘You shouldn’t do that unless you’re prepared to take the consequences,’ he warned.

  And, spinning her onto her back, he trapped her against the pillows and began ruthlessly to demonstrate what the consequences were.

  Later still, when they lay exhausted and sated, Laura tried to analyse the implications of what had happened between them. But she was too overwhelmed by emotion to analyse anything. All she knew was that she loved James and he loved her. True, he hadn’t actually told her so yet, but the message was unmistakable in the way he looked at her and held her. There were a lot of things she hadn’t told him either. Like the fact that she had been a virgin. She had thought there might be physical signs, but there hadn’t been. Well, time enough tomorrow to explore those delicate issues…A huge yawn overtook her.

  James put his arms around her, rolled her onto her side and snuggled up to her spoon fashion.

  ‘That’s perfect,’ he murmured, nuzzling her neck. ‘Now I can stroke your breasts while you fall asleep.’

  She gave a gasp of protesting laughter.

  ‘Oh, that’s guaranteed to make me doze off.’

  He pinched her bottom.

  ‘Cheeky wench! So I bored you, did I?’

  ‘Mmm. Unbearably. Did I bore you?’

  ‘Sweetheart, I could spend a lifetime being bored like that,’ he said throatily.

  A lifetime. Her heart sang. A lifetime was exactly what she wanted to spend with him.

  ‘So, are you coming to Sue’s barbecue with me?’ he demanded. ‘As a couple?’

  Laura smiled secretly to herself.

  ‘If you insist,’ she murmured.

  * * *

  The party was already in full swing when James and Laura arrived at Sue’s house the following day. As they parked their car half a block away they could already smell the aroma of frying steak, hear the blare of music, the clink of glasses and the sound of upr
aised laughter. It was a glorious, sunny day, and even the coolness of Sue’s greeting couldn’t dampen Laura’s happiness. Besides, once they had escaped from their hostess’s clutches, she found herself surrounded by a throng of familiar figures. All the people who had attended Bea’s wedding were there, and she was soon being offered food and drinks and being drawn into the latest gossip.

  To her delight, James hovered beside her with one arm possessively around her waist, and even when he went across to the buffet tables under the trees to fetch her a glass of champagne his gaze sought hers and he gave her a special, secret smile. As he returned with the two glass flutes full of bubbling, golden liquid, the bush band struck up a lively tune.

  ‘This is fun, isn’t it?’ said Laura.

  James bent his head close to her ear so that he could not be heard by anyone else above the uproar of the music.

  ‘Yes, but I’d rather be at home with you, naked, in bed.’

  Laura blushed and dropped her eyes. At that moment, she heard a muffled crash followed by a cry of annoyance from the brick patio overlooking the garden. Looking up, she saw Sue on her knees amid a mess of broken glass and potato salad. A twinge of guilt stabbed through her. Had it been the sight of her and James which had made Sue drop the bowl? She made a swift decision and thrust her champagne glass into James’s hand.

  ‘Sue’s dropped something,’ she said. ‘I’m just going over to her.

  ‘Can I help you?’ she asked, stepping onto the patio.

  Sue’s green eyes were suspiciously bright and her chin was quivering as she looked up from her task of gathering shards of broken glass.

  ‘No, you can’t,’ she snapped. ‘The only help you can give me is to get the hell out of here. Oh, you think you’re so clever, don’t you? But it won’t last; I promise you that! It never does with James. He makes you think you’re the most wonderful, special person in the world and then—oh, God, I hate you!’

  With a sudden, strangled sob, Sue abandoned the scene of the disaster and fled inside. Not knowing what else to do, Laura stooped down and went on with the task of clearing up. She had just finished gathering all the fragments of broken glass into a pile and was beginning to lift the clotted lumps of potato salad with a paper napkin when Wendy Fraser appeared beside her with a plastic rubbish bin and a dustpan and brush.

  ‘What was that all about?’ she asked curiously. ‘I saw Sue drop the bowl and you come to help her, but she looked as if she was shouting at you.’

  ‘She was warning me off James,’ replied Laura unhappily.

  ‘Oh, dear. Poor Sue,’ said Wendy, sweeping up the pile of glass and tossing it into the bin. ‘So she’s been given her marching orders, has she? Well, it was bound to happen, I suppose. But I didn’t think she’d be as upset as that about it.’

  ‘Do you think I should go after her?’ asked Laura in a worried voice.

  ‘No, you’ll only make matters worse,’ advised Wendy, taking the last messy bundle of potato salad from her and offering her a paper napkin to wipe her hands. ‘Anyway, I don’t know why she bothered trying to warn you off. You’re not fool enough to fall for him, are you?’

  Laura remained silent, but evidently her face revealed everything, for James’s sister gave her a pitying look and shook her head.

  ‘I don’t see why you all have to carry on as if he’s Bluebeard!’ burst out Laura. ‘Is it entirely beyond the bounds of possibility that James might fall genuinely in love with someone?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Wendy bluntly. ‘Look, Laura, it’s all very well to have an affair with him, but for heaven’s sake don’t lose your head. Or your heart. You’ll regret it if you do. I’m fond of James, and there’s nobody I’d rather have on my side if the chips were down, but there’s no denying that he can be an utter bastard in some ways.’

  ‘Are you talking about me?’ murmured a resonant masculine voice.

  Laura and Wendy jumped as James appeared beside them. He had crept up as silently as a hunting cat, taking them both by surprise.

  ‘I was warning her off you,’ announced Wendy defiantly. ‘I like Laura, and I don’t fancy watching you eat her up for supper. I think the kindest thing you could do is leave her alone, James.’ Picking up the rubbish bin, she looked directly at Laura. ‘Take my advice and look after yourself.’

  James gave an exasperated snort as Wendy vanished into the house.

  ‘Hell’s teeth,’ he grumbled. ‘With sisters like that, who needs enemies? What did she say to you, anyway?’

  Laura took the champagne glass which he was holding out to her and took a large gulp for courage. The liquid seemed to fizz like fire through her veins.

  ‘She was warning me that you’re the big bad wolf and that little pigs like me should watch out.’

  ‘Wendy’s the one who should watch out,’ growled James. ‘She should also mind her own damned business! I don’t know where she gets off, calling me the big bad wolf, seeing that she’s never lasted six months in a relationship with anyone.’

  ‘And you have?’ challenged Laura.

  James ground his teeth.

  ‘No, but that’s not to say that I can’t. It’s just that I haven’t met the right woman.’

  ‘Until now?’ demanded Laura. She’d meant it to sound like a cynical joke, but her voice came out with an embarrassing wobble.

  James scrutinised her with a keen, appraising stare.

  ‘Perhaps,’ he said, half to himself. ‘I’m not sure yet, but I certainly don’t want Wendy shooting me down in flames before I have a chance to find out.’

  Laura bit her lip. Well, if he was prepared to give the relationship a chance, that was better than nothing. But a feeling of bitter disappointment crept through her. She was already certain in her own heart that James was the right one for her, or she would never have made love with him last night. She had thought he felt the same way about her and it was a shock to discover that he was still wavering.

  ‘I see,’ she muttered, avoiding his eyes.

  With a low growl of exasperation, James seized both the champagne flutes and set them down impatiently on the table. Then he seized her by the shoulders and thrust his face close to hers.

  ‘Don’t look so damned pitiful!’ he urged. ‘You’ll lay yourself wide open to exploitation if you show your feelings as easily as that. You need to be tougher and harder, Laura. People will hurt you if you wear your heart on your sleeve.’

  ‘They won’t if they’re decent people!’

  ‘Yes, but how many people are?’

  The sneering tone in his voice was unmistakable, but she tried hard to remain calm, not to let him see how hurt she was.

  ‘Are you telling me that I’m throwing myself at you?’ she demanded hoarsely. ‘Are you saying that you don’t want to see me any more?’

  She saw the flash of annoyance in his eyes.

  ‘I didn’t say that!’ he protested. ‘I just think that you ought to protect yourself better. You’re far too naïve and trusting.’

  ‘Is that what I was being last night?’ she demanded bitterly. ‘You know, it’s a funny thing, but I thought it was safe to trust you, James. I didn’t realise that I was being naïve by thinking something special was happening between us.’

  ‘There is something special happening between us!’

  ‘Then why are you trying to push me off?’

  He gritted his teeth and gave a long, shuddering sigh.

  ‘I’m not trying to push you off. I’m just trying to… Oh, hell, Laura, what do you think is going on between us? What do you want from me?’

  She knew she might be about to make a bigger fool of herself than she ever had in her life before, but she decided to take the risk anyway.

  ‘I’ve fallen in love with you,’ she said unsteadily. ‘And it’s the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me in my life. What I want is to get to know you better and give the relationship a chance. I’m not asking you to marry me, James—not yet, anyway. But I do want you to
take me seriously and not play games with me. That’s all.’

  His whole body was as rigid as if he were frozen in ice. Even his eyes didn’t flicker and he scarcely seemed to breathe. The silence seemed to lengthen agonisingly between them until at last he spoke.

  ‘You make me feel totally ashamed of myself.’

  Laura stared at him in dismay.

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean? Are you saying that Wendy and Sue are right about you? That you are only playing games with me?’

  ‘No,’ muttered James. ‘It just means that your honesty and courage blow me away…Look, Laura, you’re the one with all the certainties about what’s happening between us. What do you want to do next?’

  She stared at him, uncertain whether to feel hope or despair. But hadn’t he just said that she was brave and honest? Then shouldn’t she be prepared to risk being hurt or humiliated by saying what she really did want?

  ‘I want us to spend more time together. I have to go back to Sydney in three weeks’ time or I’ll lose my job and have no way of supporting myself. I thought perhaps you could come up and visit me for a while.’

  He was silent for a moment, staring at her with a brooding expression. Then he raised his hand and touched her cheek.

  ‘I’ll think about it,’ he promised. ‘I’ll think about every possible way of handling the situation. And let’s begin by getting out of here.’

  He remained silent nearly all the way home in the car, although once he reached across and gripped her hand so hard that it hurt. When he’d stopped the car inside the garage, he turned and looked at her.

  ‘About this Sydney visit—’ he began.

  Somewhere inside the house, the telephone rang.

  ‘Damn!’ exclaimed James. ‘Look, I’ll go. We’ll talk about it once we’re inside.’

  It took her a moment to gather up their jackets and lock the doors of the garage before she followed him inside. It must have been a very short phone call, for the house already seemed completely hushed. James was nowhere near the telephone in the hall, but she went from door to door looking for him and found him at last in the living room. He was standing at the window, with his back to her. His head was bowed and his shoulders were ominously still.