Once a Mail Order Bride

by Bold, Diana

  To add insult to injury, his leg was hurting worse than ever. Every step he took was pure agony. Three-quarters of the way to the house, his battered body couldn’t take any more abuse. His knee buckled beneath him and he pitched forward, catching himself with his hands as he tumbled forward.

  Sarah was beside him in a matter of seconds. “What happened?” She ran her hands over his body, checking for injuries. “Are you all right?”

  “Do I look all right?” Sick with embarrassment, he wrenched away from her as she closed her hand over his upper thigh.

  “We should have stayed on the porch.” She glared down at him, hands on hips. “You should have told me how bad it was. I would have helped you.”

  “My knee gave out. It happens sometimes.” He couldn’t remember ever being so humiliated in his life. He didn’t want her to help him. He couldn’t stand being pitied.

  “Stay right here,” she ordered. “I’m going to get Matt.”

  Before he could voice his thoughts on the matter, she was gone, leaving him to curse at the shadows. “Stay right here,” he mocked, falsetto. Shit. It wasn’t like he could go anywhere else. The only way he was getting back to the house right now was if he crawled there on his hands and knees.

  And even that might be preferable to having to deal with Matt and Becky while he was in this condition. He felt utterly drained, both in body and in spirit. How could he ask Sarah to marry him when he couldn’t even walk to the river and back without falling on his ass?

  With a groan, he levered himself to a sitting position and waited for his rescue party to make it back from the house. They arrived moments later, the whole motley crew. Becky carried a lantern, and Sarah wielded his crutch.

  Matt was in the lead, wearing that irritating expression of big-brotherly concern. Luke cursed again. This evening was quickly going from bad to worse. The last thing he wanted right now was Matt’s condescension.

  To his surprise, his brother managed to keep his opinions to himself. Matt knelt beside him on the grass and slipped one arm around his waist. “Can you make it if you lean on me and Sarah?”

  Luke nodded, although he knew it wasn’t going to be easy. He just wanted to get this over with, get home so he could lick his wounds in private. “I’m ready,” he muttered.

  Sarah lent him her arm as well, and between the two of them, they managed to get him to his feet, so to speak. The pain in his stump ricocheted through his body and his breath hissed out in a strangled gasp.

  “Are you all right?” Matt asked.

  “Yeah. Let’s just go.” He leaned most of his weight on his brother, trying to ignore the soft press of the woman on his right.

  It was slow going and mounting the front steps was sheer torture, but at last, he made it inside and down the hall to his room. At the door, he stopped, balancing on his good leg and pinning his three helpers with a glare.

  “This is fine. I can take it from here.”

  Matt patted him once on the shoulder, then nodded and nudged Becky down the hall. Sarah, however, wasn’t so easy to dissuade.

  “I’m not leaving,” she stated. “Not until you let me have a look at your leg.”

  “Please, Sarah. Just leave me alone.” He limped across the few feet to the bed and sank down on the edge, releasing a soft groan as the pressure eased.

  Ignoring his words, Sarah sat down on the floor in front of him. She held his horrified gaze as she reached for the boot, silently daring him to stop her.

  “Don’t,” he whispered desperately. “I don’t want you to see me this way.”

  “It’s part of you,” she whispered, lightly rubbing her palm down the front of his calf. “I want to help you. Let me do this for you.”

  He bowed his head, giving in, yet unable to watch the disgust that was sure to spread across her beautiful features when she saw his wasted flesh. “Go ahead.”

  She pushed his pant leg up to his knee, and then her warm, gentle hands unfastened the heavy boot, letting it fall to the floor. “Oh, Luke,” she whispered. “This looks so painful.” She held up the boot, pointing at the leather lining. “This thing is barbaric. We should line it with fleece.”

  “Fleece?” He’d never even thought of that; he’d just taken the pain as part of his due. While he was thinking about her idea, she began examining his stump with calm detachment.

  “You’ve rubbed a terrible blister right here,” she murmured, gently circling it with the tip of her finger. “And you have some other places that are red and swollen.” She touched him as she spoke, covering every inch of his skin from the knee down, skin that hadn’t been touched in years.

  Emotion stung his eyes, so he closed them, leaning back on his elbows, lost in the wonder of it.

  “Am I hurting you?” Her hands stilled, and he could hear the concern in her voice.

  “God, no,” he breathed. “It’s just been so long since anyone touched me there.”

  She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his knee, kissing him tenderly. “I need to go get something. Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

  He nodded and then stretched out full length on the bed as he waited for her to return. Sarah Montgomery was truly a remarkable woman. She’d accepted the ugliest part of him as though it was the most natural thing in the world. He had no notion of how to express his gratitude for what she’d done for him tonight.

  He lay there for a long time, listening to the house grow silent around him. He was a little surprised Matt had left him alone after the embarrassing episode outside.

  Sudden realization swept over him, and he sat up, pressing his hand to his forehead. Was that the kind of man he’d become? A spoiled child who sulked in his room and expected someone to come and ask him what was wrong? Shame heated his cheeks as he thought of all the times he’d acted this way since he’d lost his foot.

  And for the first time, he had a glimmer of his brother’s motives for trying to shake him out of his self-pity. He’d become a burden. Matt and Becky had their own lives to live.

  His normal reaction to this sort of emotional upheaval would be to get drunk, but he’d been relying on that sort of escape far too often.

  At last, Sarah returned, and he felt nothing but gratitude as she sat down at the bottom of the bed. “Hank gave me some horse liniment. It doesn’t smell very good, but it will feel wonderful. I promise.”

  “You’re too good to me.”

  She laughed and opened the can, filling the room with a pungent but not unpleasant smell. “I know.”

  Then she rubbed the liniment on his leg with long, firm strokes. He began to relax almost immediately, the pain vanishing like snow on a warm spring day.

  And his last coherent thought before he fell asleep was the realization that he’d fallen completely, irrevocably, in love with his mail-order bride.

  SARAH CONTINUED TO rub Luke’s leg long after he’d fallen asleep. The scar tissue and pale, wasted flesh felt strange beneath her hands. But she was far from repulsed. Instead, her heart bled for the pain he’d suffered.

  Earlier he’d told her that he trusted her, but she wished that trust went deep enough for him to explain how this horrible thing had happened.

  Perhaps she’d ask Becky about his accident in the morning. It would be far easier than making him have to relive it. Once had been enough.

  He let out a soft snore, and she smiled as she pulled off his other boot and tossed it to the floor. Again, she was struck by the sheer perfection of his foot. He was beautiful all over, she admitted, her gaze roaming hungrily over his features, glad for this opportunity to look her fill.

  His lashes were as long and lush as a girl’s, and he looked much younger in repose. She eyed the empty pillow beside him with envy. What she wouldn’t give to have the right to lie beside him every night. She’d like to be able to rub his leg every time it pained him.

  With a sigh, she ceased her loving ministrations and slipped off the bed. She’d gotten closer to him tonight than she’d ever ima
gined and, though it was far from her goal, she felt she’d taken a step in the right direction.

  THE NEXT MORNING, LUKE made the practical decision to leave his boot off all day to allow himself time to heal. It wasn’t easy for him to face Sarah and his family without it, but last night had gone a long way toward making him more comfortable with the loss of his foot.

  “It’s part of you,” Sarah had said, and for the first time, he was able to accept the truth of her words. For better or worse, this was what he had become. It was far past time to deal with it.

  Everyone had already gathered in the dining room by the time he limped in with the aid of his crutch. For a moment there was silence, and then Sarah came to his side. “How are you feeling this morning?”

  He stared into her beautiful eyes, and the memory of her sweet touch passed between them. “Much better,” he told her. “Thanks to you.”

  She flushed and turned away, gesturing to the buffet, where a lavish breakfast was spread. “Help yourself. The rest of us have already started.”

  He nodded and took a plate, filling it with scrambled eggs, fried potatoes, and ham. He was pleased that he was able to do so with relative ease, despite the encumbrance of only being able to use one hand, since he had to hold on to his crutch with the other.

  Sarah watched him anxiously, but she didn’t attempt to help him, and he made it to his chair at the head of the table without incident. When he was seated, he met Matt’s amused gaze. “Still here?”

  Matt grinned. “As a matter of fact, despite the gracious hospitality we’ve received since we arrived, Becky and I have decided to return to Denver today.”

  Luke didn’t bother to hide his relief. He still loved his brother and sister-in-law, but he was glad to get rid of them. He wanted some time alone with Sarah. The last thing he needed was to have Matthew looking over his shoulder, offering friendly advice on how to court a woman.

  Becky cleared her throat. When he met her dark gaze, he saw her amusement. The little minx was obviously quite pleased that her scheme to get him a wife was working so well.

  “Matt and I are going to be really busy this month. In fact, I doubt we’ll see you again until the end of the month.” She smiled and glanced over at Sarah. “But if you need us for anything before then, just send word.”

  Luke let his gaze settle on Sarah. “Thanks, Becky. But I think I have everything I need right here.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  THE GLOW OF LUKE’S warm look and even warmer words kept Sarah floating on air the rest of the morning. He’d said he had everything he wanted, and she was sure she hadn’t misinterpreted his implication that she was what he wanted.

  Becky helped Sarah clear the table after breakfast, while the men went outside to get the wagon ready for the long trip back to Denver. The fact that they’d made it twice in one week showed how much they cared.

  “Things seem to be working out between you and Luke,” Becky commented as she stacked a load of dishes in the sink. “Goodness, the way that man was looking at you this morning... It’s enough to make me blush.”

  Sarah laughed. “Somehow, I don’t think there’s much that’s capable of making you blush.”

  Becky grinned. “You’re right. I’m shameless. But you must admit that my instincts about this were right on the money. You do love him. I know you do.”

  Sarah sighed, thinking of the way he’d kissed her, the vulnerability in his eyes when she’d rubbed the liniment on his leg. “Of course, I do,” she whispered, keeping her eye on the back door in case the men should come back in that way. “I think I have ever since I met him.”

  “So, you’re not mad at me anymore? You forgive us for scheming to get the two of you together?”

  “I forgive you,” Sarah told her. “But there’s something I’ve been wondering about, Becky. Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

  “Sure,” Becky replied, sitting down at the kitchen table. “Ask away.”

  Sarah sat down across from her and took a deep breath. Becky was leaving soon, and Luke could return any moment. If she didn’t find out now, she might not have another chance. “What happened to Luke? How did he lose his foot?”

  Becky’s grin slipped. Her gaze grew shuttered, and her sudden tension was palpable. “I’m sorry, Sarah. But I’m afraid I can’t tell you.”

  “You can’t tell me?” Sarah stared at her new friend in disbelief. “Why in the world not?”

  Becky shook her head. “There are things in Luke’s past that might upset you. I really don’t feel comfortable talking about it. When he wants you to know, I’m sure he’ll tell you himself.”

  Sarah frowned and turned away. “It’s all right, Becky. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” But their earlier closeness had disappeared, and her interest was piqued even more.

  What had happened to Luke? What could possibly be so terrible that he felt he must keep it a secret from her?

  AFTER SEEING MATT AND Becky off, Luke spent the afternoon in the parlor, teaching Sarah to play chess. His leg was feeling much better, due to Sarah’s gentle care. Tomorrow he’d probably be able to bear putting that damned boot back on.

  He smiled at Sarah’s expression of grim concentration as she stared down at the chessboard. She was very bright, and she’d picked up the rules of the game with surprising ease. He had a feeling that in time she’d make a formidable opponent.

  “How would you feel about going to town with me in the morning?” he inquired, capturing her bishop. “I’ve been thinking about what you said about the sheepskin. I think it would help a lot.”

  She smiled at him, her first real smile of the afternoon, and he realized how quiet she’d been since their guests had left. He wondered if she was regretting anything that had passed between them, or if she was feeling shy now that they were alone. He hoped it was the latter.

  “I would love to. I want to get some fabric for a new dress or two.”

  “Great. We’ll leave early then and make a day of it.”

  She nodded, but he could see her short-lived enthusiasm fading. “What is it? Have I done something wrong? You haven’t seemed yourself all day.”

  “It’s just something that happened this morning,” Sarah replied after a long, tense silence. She looked up, meeting his gaze imploringly. “I asked Becky what happened to your foot. I know I shouldn’t have, but I’ve been so curious, and I could tell you didn’t want to talk about it.”

  Luke’s hand froze above the chessboard, his heart hammering in his chest. “What did she say?”

  Sarah shook her head. “She wouldn’t tell me anything. She said it would upset me.”

  Luke felt a flood of gratitude for his sister-in-law’s unexpected discretion. He’d known this moment would come. It was inevitable. But he wasn’t ready to tell her the truth.

  He wanted the impossible. He wanted her to fall completely, madly in love with him before he risked telling her all of his secrets.

  Pulling his hand away from Sarah’s queen, he brought his fingertips to the bridge of his nose and squeezed, trying to obliterate the sudden, intense headache. “I really don’t want to discuss this right now.”

  Sarah leaned forward, staring at him intently. “What are you hiding from me? What must I do before you trust me enough to share this with me?”

  “I do trust you.” He looked away, unable to meet her earnest gaze. “Please try to understand. It was a difficult time for me.”

  “Of course,” she whispered, sitting back in her chair, looking quite defeated. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

  He sighed, knowing the day was ruined and unable to think of a single thing to placate her. “I will tell you,” he promised. “Just give me some time.”

  She shrugged, turning her attention back on the game. “It’s your move, Luke.”

  “CAN YOU BELIEVE THE nerve of that woman? Waltzing in here among us decent folks as if she had every right. Why, she’s little better than a prostitute, and ev
erybody knows it.”

  Sarah stiffened, her hand hovering over a bolt of green sprigged muslin, all her senses attuned to the conversation at the front of the store. Luke had dropped her off a few minutes ago, instructing her to buy herself a new dress or two. But her pleasure in the task was decimated by the malicious whisperings of the two women who stood near the cash register.

  “It isn’t right,” the second woman agreed. “Back east, hussies like her knew their place.”

  Sarah recognized one of them. The woman owned the town’s lone restaurant. She’d flatly refused to give Sarah a job. Now her gaze flickered over Sarah with contempt, and she began whispering to her cohort once again.

  This wasn’t the first time Sarah had been the source of gossip. She’d put up with it on a daily basis in Georgia. But it wasn’t supposed to happen here. This was exactly what she’d wanted to get away from.

  Her eyes filled with angry tears, and she blinked them away, determined not to let those old bats know they’d gotten to her. Reluctantly, she replaced the bolt of yellow calico she’d already chosen. She couldn’t do this, couldn’t walk up there and ask the balding man who owned the store to put the fabric on Luke’s bill. It would give the women more ammunition to use against her.

  She squared her shoulders and turned toward the door, wondering why she’d ever thought things would be different. The people of this town had treated her like a pariah when she’d only spent one night in Luke Chandler’s house. It was logical they’d assume far worse now that she’d lived with him for over a week.

  In all honesty, she couldn’t blame them, given the way she’d fallen so eagerly into Luke’s arms. Perhaps they were right about her.

  When she reached the relative safety of the boardwalk in front of the store, she searched for Luke. He was nowhere in sight, and she groaned when she saw John Tucker headed her way.