He chuckled and kissed her head. “I’ll have to if I’m to sleep beside you, love,” he teased. “Come. ’Tis late, and you need your rest.” He shuddered as she kissed the underside of his jaw. “Deirdre, no, we should—” He gasped as her hands roved over him.
“We should rejoice that we are together. That we will be together forever.” She cradled his face in her hands, her fingers playing in his trimmed beard. “Celebrate with me.”
“Oh, love,” he breathed. “I thought you’d want to wait for the wedding.” He shucked his jacket, grinning down at her as she slipped his shirt buttons lose. He shuddered again as her hands ran over his muscled chest, her fingers playing through the black hair there. “I feel like I’ve dreamed of you forever.”
She kissed his shoulder. “What do you mean?”
“I never allowed myself to believe I could have a marriage like my parents’. A woman to love, who loved me.” He sighed with pleasure as she again kissed the underside of his jaw. “From the moment I started helping you here in the café, I couldn’t fight the vision of us here. Building our life together.”
She paused to stare at him in wonder. “Just like mine?”
He nodded, his smile widening. “Yes.” Unable to prevent himself from touching her, he yanked her against his chest, cradling her for a long moment before his nimble fingers worked on the buttons of her robe. “I’ve wanted you from the moment I kissed you.” He shook his head. “From long before then. From the moment I saw you in the café window the day we met.”
When her robe pooled around her feet, his breath caught. “I need to see you in the light.” They shuffled backward as they peppered each other with kisses. She giggled as he tripped over a side table before grunting as he backed her into the doorjamb.
“A walk that should take seconds is taking minutes,” he rasped, as he continued to scatter kisses over her collarbone.
“I’m not complaining.” She giggled again as he stumbled upon entering her room. With hope, uncertainty, and vulnerability shining in her eyes, she spread her arms wide, standing in her nightgown.
He approached her with a reverent solemnity, his gaze ablaze with longing, love, and devotion. “If you want to lie on the bed with me holding you in my arms, I will not complain. ’Tis more than I hoped would ever occur again.” He paused as he saw the momentary flash of shame in her gaze. “What did I say?”
Deirdre ducked her head, her arms falling as she held them over her chest and belly, then curled inward. “I’m sorry you don’t find me pleasing.”
“For the love of …” Ardan crossed the short space separating them and clasped her face between his palms, tilting her face up to meet his ardent gaze. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The sight of you in your nightgown, smiling at me?” He shook his head as his eyes glowed. He leaned forward until their foreheads touched. “I want to honor you. To cherish you. And, if you want to wait until we are wed, I want to give you that chance.”
“No,” she whispered. “I want you, Ardan. Now and forever.” She kissed him. “Make me believe what you say.” She paused. “Touch me. Bring me alive.”
He picked her up, settling her on her bed. “With pleasure, a stoirín.”
Deirdre rested with her head on Ardan’s shoulder. His hands continued to wander over her back, caressing and tracing lines over her soft skin. She relaxed into his touch, unable to prevent a soft moan of pleasure. “I beg your pardon,” she whispered, becoming as rigid as a board before attempting to push herself free of his embrace.
“What’s the matter, love?” Ardan murmured, kissing her softly and never ceasing his soft touch. “Hearing that you enjoy being in my arms brings me joy.”
“It’s unseemly,” she gasped.
He laughed, the sound reverberating in her ear as it was settled on his chest. “No more than what we just did.” He eased away so he could brush at her loose hair and stare into her chagrined gaze. “Never feel embarrassed to show me what you enjoy. Or the pleasure you feel.” He kissed her. “I’d hate if it were all one-sided.”
She smiled, cupping his face. “You know it wasn’t that.”
Kissing her nose, he whispered, “I hoped it wasn’t, but a man likes reassurances too.” He sighed as her fingers played through his hair. “I love holding you like this. Knowing that I can and that, in a few days, I won’t have to sneak in after the townsfolk have left.”
“A few days?” She watched him with wide-eyed shock.
“Aye, the priest will soon leave to winter in Virginia City or Helena, and I don’t want to wait until he returns. I want his blessing.” He paused as she continued to stare at him. “Or would you prefer to wait?”
Her hands tightened on his shoulder. “No! Not at all. It’s all happening so fast. Yesterday I feared I would never be held in your arms again, and now we plan to marry in a few days.” She gave him a smile meant to mollify him.
“Aye, ’tis fast. But I know we’ll never regret it, love.”
“No, we won’t.” She said. “However, until we are married, I believe you should continue to spend your nights at your parents’ house.” Her smile broadened at the disappointment in his gaze. “Starting tomorrow,” she whispered, as she leaned forward to kiss him, losing herself to their passion again.
The following evening, Ardan watched the back door of his family’s home, as he waited for Deirdre to arrive to share a meal with all the O’Rourkes, before three of his brothers headed south. With no more steamboats expected to arrive in the Territory this season, there would be no further influx of men clamoring for her delicious food. However, enough townsfolk were in need of a decent meal for the café to remain open during the off-season, although Ardan wondered if she shouldn’t focus on one meal a day during the slow period.
He watched as Declan stood beside Eamon and Finn, attempting to join their laughing and cajoling. In that moment, Ardan realized how challenging the next months would be for Declan: always with family but never feeling as though truly part of the group.
While Kevin stood in a corner of the room, flirting with Aileen, Ardan approached Declan and slapped him on his arm. “Are you ready, lad?” he asked, unable to hide the worry in his gaze. This would be the longest stretch of time his younger brothers would be separated from the family.
“Of course I am. I’ll be as successful as you and Kevin.” Declan lifted his chin in defiance, as he stared at both his older brothers, daring Ardan to contradict him.
“’Tisn’t what I meant,” Ardan muttered. “You’ll be with the young eejits, and I fear they’ll get into mischief. You’ll have no one guarding your back, as I had Kevin.” He sighed but couldn’t hide a relieved smile. “If things hadn’t worked out between Deirdre and me, I would have traveled with you.”
Declan laughed and slung an arm over his shoulder. “You know I would never have wanted you to leave your ladylove.” He nodded toward the back door. “Besides, she’s mad for you.”
Ardan looked toward the door, unable to hide the broad smile, nor the joy lighting his gaze at her entrance. “Aye, she is. As I am for her.”
“You’re a lucky man, Ard.” Declan squeezed his shoulder.
Watching his younger brother with an amused smile, he asked, “Have you no desire for a mail order bride?”
Declan shrugged. “Perhaps. It seems unlikely to me that I’ll ever find what you and Kevin have.” He looked at Kevin canoodling with Aileen and bit back a sigh. “Seems more like a dream to me.”
Ardan focused on his brother, his eyes shining bright with sincerity. “I will continue to pray you find someone who makes your heart leap, as Deirdre does mine. That you discover it doesn’t have to be a dream.” He paused. “And that you’re brave enough to leap at the chance to love.”
“I’m sorry I’ll miss your wedding,” Declan said.
Ardan nodded. “Aye, it can’t be helped. We were fools an’ took too long to reconcile.” He smiled at his brother. “I expect you home in time for t
he first christening.”
Declan laughed and slapped his brother on his back. “Never fear. I’ll have no desire to remain in a large city. I’ve had enough of those.”
Squeezing Declan’s shoulder, Ardan said, “Stay safe. I couldn’t imagine this world without you.”
Ardan and Declan embraced for a moment, before others crowded around the soon-to-depart brother. Ardan left Declan to deflect the curious questions from the pack, the new nickname given to the expanded group of younger brothers. Unable and unwilling to hide his delighted smile, he approached Deirdre, lifting her hand to kiss it. “Hello, love.”
Her eyes glowed with adoration, and she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around him. “It’s only been a few hours since I saw you, but I missed you.”
He chuckled and kissed her head. “The day finished well?”
“Yes,” she murmured. “Not nearly as busy as last month.” She breathed in deeply of his cologne and the subtle scent that was all Ardan.
He eased away, bracketing her face with his palms. “I spoke with the priest. In three days, he’ll marry us. He wants to have all his business here finished by the time Dunmore returns from Cow Island and does another run to Virginia City.”
“Good,” she whispered. “I dread the nights without you by my side.”
Two mornings later, on the day before her wedding, Deirdre slipped out of the café early, approaching the men boarding one of the last stagecoaches to make the trip to Cow Island this season. Dunmore had left the day before with Declan, Eamon, and Finn. Today Bailey would leave with a borrowed stage. She approached her brother-in-law and paused as she saw Silas stiffen as she neared. “Silas.”
“I can only imagine you came here today to crow at your ability to deceive an honest man into becoming a bigamist,” he snapped. He wore a perfectly tailored suit, and he watched to ensure his trunk was loaded onto the back of the stagecoach. When he was assured his belongings had been strapped on, he faced her again. “Why are you here?”
A sense of calm enveloped her, and she smiled at Silas. “I’m here because I know, deep inside, you lie. Why won’t you tell me the truth about Alonzo?”
He smirked at her. “If you know the truth, why is it important to hear it from me?” He gripped her arm, frowning when she did not flinch at his tight hold of her arm. “Why?”
“Have you ever loved anyone, other than yourself, Silas?” she asked. “Do you have any idea what your announcement did to me? Did to Ardan?” She took a calming breath, as she feared she would express more emotion than she desired to share with her soulless brother-in-law.
“You only wanted money,” Silas jeered. “Just like now. You arrived in this town, and miraculously the eldest son of the most successful businessman fell in love with you. It’s not a coincidence, Deirdre.”
She leaned forward and whispered, “You remain bitter that I never loved you.”
He flushed with agitation.
“Tell me the truth about my husband, Silas.” She stared at him with impassioned determination.
“Of course he’s dead. He was dead long before you ever received the notice!” He snapped and then swore under his breath at the startling veracity to his words.
Deirdre backed away from him, her gaze filled with relief and sadness. “I knew.” She placed a hand over her chest. “Deep inside, I knew I’d lost him.” She blinked away tears. “Safe travels, Silas. I know we shall never meet again.”
She backed away until she stood beside the boardwalk near the hotel, relieved when Bailey signaled it was time for passengers to board or to miss their chance for a ride. A movement to her right caused her to glance in that direction, and she relaxed. “How long have you been here?” she asked Ardan, who moved to enfold her in his arms.
“Almost from the moment you arrived to speak with him.” He kissed her head and held her close. “Why not have one of us come with you? If you didn’t want me here, my da or one of my brothers would have come with you.”
She pressed farther into his embrace. “I know,” she whispered. “It was something I needed to do on my own. To prove I can continue to be brave.” Turning her head, she watched as the stagecoach rolled into motion. They stood in silence as it disappeared down the street, before turning to head out of town and up the winding road, carved into the side of the bluff, that led to the primitive road to Cow Island.
“What did you learn, love?” he whispered into her ear.
“As I knew, deep in my heart, Alonzo is dead. Silas wanted me.” She clung to Ardan a little tighter. “I don’t know why. Perhaps because I was Alonzo’s, and he always resented anything Alonzo had that he didn’t. In the end, it doesn’t matter.”
He kissed her head again, the tension leaving him. “No, all that matters is he told you the truth. And he left.”
“Yes,” she whispered, leaning back so she could meet Ardan’s adoring gaze. “And that tomorrow we marry.” She met his answering smile with one filled with the promise of an abundance of joyful tomorrows, sighing with pleasure as he kissed her softly as dawn’s early rays lit the town.
Chapter 12
Deirdre stood upstairs in the room that she would soon permanently share with Ardan and ran a hand down the cream-colored dress Aileen had sewn for her. There was little adornment except for the row of buttons down the back of the dress. Although simple, it fit her perfectly, and she felt like one of the fairy princesses she had learned about from Finn, when they sat around telling stories one evening.
“Oh, look at you,” Mary breathed, as she bustled into the room. “If you aren’t the most beautiful woman to meet her groom.”
Maggie rolled her eyes and laughed. “You say that every time you see a bride.”
Mary nodded, unapologetic in her praise. “An’ ’tis true. Every bride is beautiful.” She gave Aileen a squeeze. “Look at your beautiful work.”
Smiling with pride at the dress, she nodded. “Yes, it’s lovely, but nothing compared to what Niamh can create.” She looked at Deirdre. “You should have seen the intricate embroidery Niamh placed on my dress.” She sighed with pleasure.
“Where is Niamh?” Deirdre asked.
Mary shuffled her feet, appearing momentarily uncomfortable. “I’m uncertain. I fear Maura’s fussy again.”
Deirdre froze, afraid for a moment what that meant but then forced herself to focus on her wedding day. “As long as she is at the wedding.” At Mary’s brisk nod, Deirdre relaxed. “Are all the townsfolk invited?”
“All except my aunt,” Aileen said. “She’s never welcome.”
Turning to face the women who would soon be her family in fact rather than only in her heart, Deirdre smiled. “Even if she were to appear today, nothing could diminish my joy.” After a few more moments where the O’Rourke women fussed with her lace veil, Deirdre followed Mary down the stairs.
In the distant field, she saw a small crowd, and her heart skipped a beat. Today she would marry Ardan. The man she loved. How was she this fortunate? She gave a small giggle of glee and picked up her skirts as though she were to race to him.
“No, Deirdre,” Maggie said, holding on to her arm. “Remember what happened the last time you raced through the field? Don’t ruin your wedding night.” Maggie flushed at her mother’s admonishment but winked at Deirdre.
“You’re right, Maggie,” Deirdre said with a chuckle, slowing her pace and walking with the outward appearance of far more patience than she truly had. Her breath caught at the sight of Ardan, in a formal black suit with a starched white shirt. His beard had been trimmed, but she was thankful he had not shaved it off.
Seamus approached, winging out his arm to lead her forward. “Ready, lass?” At her nod, they started the slow march up the aisle.
Standing beside Ardan, her fingertips played with his, and she fought a shiver at the emotions his soft touch evoked. Although she tried to focus on the priest’s solemn words, all she could hear was Ardan. Ardan proclaiming his love of her. His devotion. She took
a deep breath, and her senses were filled with the soft scent of his cologne mingled with trampled prairie grass. Standing beside him, but not touching him, was a torment. All she wanted to do was lean into him, be in his arms.
When Ardan squeezed her hand, she jumped. “What?” she whispered.
Chuckling, Ardan nodded toward the priest. “Repeat after Father Mac,” he murmured.
Flushing, Deirdre realized she had missed her first cue for her vows. She concentrated on what the priest said, repeating in a loud, precise voice every word he said. She flushed as she realized she’d missed Ardan repeating his vows. When he slipped on his ring for her, she met his amused gaze.
“I love you,” she whispered, smiling as her words provoked a flash of deep pleasure in his beautiful eyes.
After he motioned for her to pay attention to the priest for the final blessing, she sighed with relief that he would finally kiss her. However, it was a short kiss, and he soon led her down the aisle.
“Why the sad face?” he asked, when they reached the small area near his parents’ house, set up for the festivities.
“I hoped for a longer kiss.”
“Those are for us, Deirdre,” he said, as he traced a finger down her cheek. With a sigh, he turned to face the many guests walking the short distance to congratulate them. “Soon, love. Soon.”
“I’ll keep you to your promise.” At his chuckle, she laughed and leaned into his side. A place she knew she always wanted to be.
Ardan stood beside Deirdre, beaming and laughing as friends and family congratulated them. Although he continued to smile, he stiffened as Niamh approached. Rather than pulling her into a hug, as he would have customarily done, he stood beside Deirdre, waiting to see what Niamh would do.
“Ardan,” Niamh whispered, beseeching forgiveness in her gaze. “Deirdre,” she said around a throat-clogged tear when Ardan remained quiet. “I wish you both so very happy.” She nodded and then walked away.
Pioneer Desire: The O’Rourke Family Montana Saga, Book Two Page 19