War of the Damned Boxed Set

by Michael Todd

  “She would, and then I would run away and check myself into the looney bin because that much daytime television is hazardous to your health. I may be curious about the two characters, but not binge-watching curious.”

  “Pandora can be a scary chick.”

  Damian pursed his lips. “You have no idea.”

  Katie didn’t leave the bar until closing time, deciding to walk back to the hotel and enjoy the warm California night.

  She thought about how different everything had become, and that she was really enjoying getting to know other people. She actually felt like for one weekend, despite the kidnapping and ghost banishment and incursion call, she’d had more of a normal life than she usually did.

  That being said, she was starting to miss her room and her family back in Vegas. No one had called to check on her, and she was assuming they were just giving her some space.

  When she got to the hotel she fell into the bed, half drunk, and stared at the clock. It was exactly the same time she had gone to bed the night before, only this time she hadn’t been kidnapped beforehand.

  She really hoped Pandora would let her sleep in, but she knew that was probably asking too much. She had a feeling she would never sleep in again, at least not while she and Pandora shared a body.

  Katie put the thought out of her head and pulled the covers up, falling asleep within minutes.

  The next morning the sun carefully peeked through the slats in the shades, keeping the light just dim enough so as not to wake Katie. Although on Katie’s side she was dead asleep, on Pandora’s it was completely different.

  Pandora watched the clock impatiently. She was actually trying to give Katie a little extra sleep, but she was too hungry and too bored to just sit there. She thought about it for a minute and chuckled to herself, then gave Katie an itch in her nose.

  At first, all that came from it was Katie rubbing her nose with her palm before rolling over and burying her face in the pillow. Pandora upped the annoyance factor and she rolled back over, rubbing her nose harder. She was getting irritated, which Pandora knew meant she was waking up.

  Wakey, wakey, Katie.

  Why? She groaned and pulled the covers over her face. It’s freaking Sunday. Why can’t a girl sleep a little?

  Because it’s time.

  Time for what?

  To go get donuts, of course, so get your lazy ass out of bed and get dressed. I’m starving. I hear there is a place out here that makes donuts as big as your head. We must try it.

  I hate your donuts. I just want you to know that. And I hate fancy bras. There, I said it. And I hate how hard it is for me to fucking roll over in the bed when I have tatas the size of prehistoric melons! Last night I had to grab the other side of the bed and pull myself over. Every time I tried rocking myself over my tits would roll me right back. It was like trying to go to sleep on a damn seesaw. And forget sleeping on my back; they crush my lungs and I end up suffocating. I know I said perkier, but shit! It’s natural for them to move to the side when I’m on my back. It’s a survival tactic!

  Kajesus, you complain a lot.

  Yeah, well, I have boobs the size of a moon.

  You are so dramatic. They aren’t even that big. In fact, last week I slightly shrank them—not that you give a damn that I was so nice to you. Do you know what I found out by shrinking them?

  What? Please tell me! I am peeing my pants here.

  I noticed a decrease of 1.2% in men staring at them. That’s huge! I’m telling you, size does matter! It does for men, and it does for women too. No woman wants to get all excited, unzip the pants, and pull out a damn Vienna sausage. They want the bratwurst. The whole kabob. The largest banana on the shelf. Women who say it’s about the motion of the ocean are just embarrassed because their man has a tiny...baby carrot.

  I really don’t think it’s that serious. Besides, what if you have a bratwurst all the time and then an extra-large ballpark frank comes along? It’s big, but not nearly as big as the bratwurst.

  Then, my dear, you have the situation we all dread...a hotdog down a hallway.

  Katie cracked a smile and hid her face in the pillow. You are the worst. I can’t believe my wake-up call is a discussion of the male sex organ as a bratwurst compared to an All-American beef hotdog. Fourth of July picnics will never be the same.

  They will be if you have the bratwurst...

  I don’t even like meat in a tube.

  Pandora gasped. Is that what’s been up with you? You are more of a taco girl than a hotdog girl? I mean, my preference is the long dong, of course, but I don’t mind a little furry burger every once in a while.

  Oh my God! Please stop. No, the bearded clam is not my dish. I’m just saying I’d rather have a ballpark frank with a bratwurst on occasion than fall victim to the hallway terror.

  Oh, okay. Well, good. Glad we cleared this up.

  Yep, me fucking too.

  Katie rolled over and stared at the ceiling, figuring she might as well just give in. Pandora would just keep talking, and there wasn’t a pair of earplugs dense enough to shut her out.

  What the fuck time is it, because if you woke me up early I am going to scream and force you to eat scrapple.

  If you must know, I actually let you sleep in this morning. You’re welcome.

  Really? So what time is it?

  Pandora whistled, not wanting to answer the question.

  Pandora, just tell me.

  Fine... It’s 8:37.

  Katie covered her face with the pillow and screamed into it.

  Chapter Ten

  Fort Leonard Wood right outside of St. Robert, Missouri was not the most exciting place you could be, but Brock had made a choice.

  After the incursion—and after making sure his mother got out safely—Brock had gone back with Katie and the others to their home base. He’d liked it, and he’d liked them too, but the former rocker figured that since he was Damned he would have to change his whole life.

  He wanted to be something big still; be part of something big. When the war went mainstream everything changed and he was given that opportunity.

  A special branch of the military was created into which they only accepted those who were infected, and they used the training to strengthen both the soldier and the soldier’s connection to his or her demon.

  Originally he had been slated to go to a special secret location for the training, but in the end they sent him to Fort Leonard Wood, figuring the news would get out eventually so there was no need to spend millions of dollars on some secret base that would never be used again. Besides, they were soldiers just like the rest of the Army, only they had a little extra oomph and their missions would be completely different.

  The program mimicked that of the mercenaries. Taking regular human beings who had been infected and giving them more of an option than just research, death, or merc. Brock figured it would be the perfect way to not only be part of something big but learn how to live with the succubus inside him.

  “Attteeention!”

  Brock stood at attention, his hands stiff by his sides. He was wearing the usual Army fatigues and polished boots, and his long hair had been shaved down to the skin.

  His tattoos were covered under his uniform, except for the two guitars on his scalp which he had gotten when he was seventeen and away from his mother for the first time. She had been mortified, so he’d grown his hair out to cover them. Little did he know they would eventually fit in perfectly with the rock band that he had been the front man for. Unfortunately, they all thought he was dead and had broken up shortly thereafter. It was the typical disaster of an ending for a famous musician, minus the real demon part.

  Not many rockers went through that.

  “At ease, soldiers. Today, we are starting with the communications class. You will be learning how to communicate with your demon. This will be part one of the series, how to deal with your demon when it is refusing to cooperate or dormant in times of war. Now, everyone bow your heads a
nd close your eyes; you will need to establish direct contact with your demon. Remember, you are the human and this is your body. Do not let your demon defile that by taking control. What do we do to demons who take over their human counterparts, soldiers?”

  “We mutilate and eradicate, Drill Sergeant!”

  “Exactly, now get a dialogue going with your demon, and then I would like each of you to give it an order. Men, I want your demons to beef up your arms—both of them. Ladies, I want your demons to heighten your ability to run faster. That means by tomorrow’s PT you boys should be doing twice as many pull-ups and you girls should be beating these boys by leaps and bounds on our five-mile run. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Drill Sergeant!”

  Brock took a deep breath and closed his eyes, realizing it would be the first time he had spoken to his demon since he’d signed up for the Army. His demon hadn’t really been into the whole thing and had protested for days, forcing him to stay awake for two days before his entry physical. It didn’t matter though. If Brock’s demon was stubborn, Brock could match and raise the bet tenfold.

  Are you there?

  Where else would I be? Definitely not at the bar flirting with some hot guy like I want to be—not that time in the group showers isn’t interesting.

  Listen, I know you were against this, but I am here now and I’m not going anywhere. So, you can either help me out and do what I ask, or we both suffer. Your choice.

  You know, I really want to be a bitch. You are not being cooperative. At the same time, if you get in trouble and I have to eat that grey slop from the Mess Hall again, I might kill you just to kill myself.

  My way would be a lot easier.

  I suppose. What did he say, that I have to juice up your arms? You are going to look ridiculous.

  It’s fine. We’ll all look ridiculous. We can even out my body later. I have to show them I’m ready for this and capable of handling it.

  Fine, whatever. No need to get emotional, but since you’re asking something from me, I want something from you.

  Jesus Christ…what? And you better not say dick.

  Ok, two things. No JC.

  I’ll try.

  Good enough.

  Second, no on the dick, apparently you aren’t quite desperate enough for that one yet. When the guys ask you to go out to the bar tonight, say yes. I need to stare at something other than the underside of a bunk.

  Fine.

  Okay, perfect. Big muscle arms it is.

  Brock opened his eyes and brought himself to attention, and the Drill Instructor looked at him and nodded. He had done exceptionally well through the courses so far, and he really wanted to get through this part and get to the fighting. The demon was important, sure, but after watching the military and the mercs on Incursion Day he had learned that knowing how to fight was imperative.

  When everyone was done, they marched in ranks over to the mess hall. Brock got his food and sat down with his platoon, not making eye contact with anyone. The two guys in front of him were whispering back and forth and sneaking glances. Finally, one of them spoke up.

  “Sorry, man, but I have to ask. Aren’t you the lead singer of that rock band?”

  “I was, until Incursion Day.”

  They both smiled. “Whoa, that’s badass.”

  “I didn’t think anyone would recognize me with my shaved head and new tattoos.”

  “My sister had a poster of you on her ceiling. I put two and two together.”

  The kid just down from them was eating his potatoes and listening to them talk. “You were there, on-site, during Incursion Day?”

  “Yeah, it was my home town. I had gone home to see my mom.”

  He asked, “Did she come out of it okay?”

  Brock nodded. “Yeah, she’s good, but I didn’t get my demon there, I got it before. I just got picked up there by a mercenary team.”

  The guy across from him gaped. “You were on a merc team? Why the hell would you come here?”

  “To learn to be part of a team and to get stronger and more powerful. I can always go back to the mercs. Our contracts here are only for three years.”

  “If you survive.” The kid chuckled.

  The Drill Sergeant marched into the D-Fac and everyone stood at attention. Brock dropped his fists to his sides and hoped that he wasn’t there to take away their meal privileges again. It was hell running PT when you hadn’t eaten anything for a couple of days.

  “Alpha Company, at ease. Your company has been chosen by our commanding officer because, and I quote, ‘Alpha Company has continuously shown mental strength, courage in the face of danger, and a willingness to learn, and we recognize them for these attributes. Therefore, you have been awarded another night pass for tonight. Be safe and be strong. Congratulations! You make me proud.

  “Thank you, Drill Sergeant!”

  “Continue eating. We’ll see you bright and early for PT. Hooah!”

  “Hooah, Drill Sergeant!”

  Instantly everyone was in a better mood, rushing back to their barracks and changing into their civilian clothes. Brock hitched a ride into town with several guys from his company, sharing a cab. They met up in a run-down bar at the edge of town known for catering to the soldiers and their fights. Brock grabbed a beer and took a seat at one of the pub tables with several other soldiers. They were all talking about their demons and the conversations they’d had in class. One of the guys looked at Brock and nodded.

  “What about you, rock star? What kind of demon do you have?”

  “Oh, I, uh… He’s really just a chill demon...”

  He?

  “He pretty much just does what I ask him to do. I haven’t had any problems.” The table nodded and moved on. Brock had purposely been very vague, not wanting to admit that he had a succubus who wanted all the dick she could see. He wanted to fit in; to be a respected part of the team.

  “To nine more weeks of hell...” they toasted.

  They had no idea what they would be getting into.

  “Look at this. It’s mesmerizing,” Katie exclaimed aloud, standing on the balcony inside the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood. The one thing she had to do before she left was see a movie in one of the most famous theatres in the country.

  I remember this place. It used to have Broadway plays.

  Yes! And then they converted it to a movie theatre. It was the biggest theatre in Hollywood. Many famous movies were shown here, including Orson Welles' controversial Citizen Kane.

  I never thought of you as a movie buff.

  I’m not, really, but before my days as a demon hunter, I was dazzled by the romance of early Hollywood. Movies were a big thing then, you know? There was no Netflix or Vudu. It was going to the cinema to see your favorite movie on the big screen. Disney actually redid this theatre to make it look exactly as it did when it first opened.

  I was gonna say, this place looks fantastic for being over a hundred years old.

  Yep, they put down the money and did a two-year renovation, and then in 1991 they released The Rocketeer here. My mom used to play it for me when I was a kid. I loved movies from about that time period.

  So, Madam Hollywood, what are we seeing this time?

  I don’t know, some Arnold Schwarzenegger movie about him being a demon hunter. I figured if nothing else it would be entertaining.

  Let’s hope so.

  Katie chose a seat at the center front of the balcony and sat back, munching on the giant bucket of popcorn she had in her lap. She wasn’t really hungry, but she had never understood how people could go to the movies and not get popcorn. It was like going to a Chinese restaurant and ordering a hamburger...it just wasn’t right. So there she was, eyes wide and excited to watch a movie in one of the most famous theatres in Hollywood.

  The lights began to dim, and Katie looked around her. There weren’t that many people there, but then again it was the middle of the day on a Sunday. I wonder if any famous people have sat in this seat?


  Shhh, just watch the movie.

  The movie started out dramatically as always, but Katie couldn’t decide if it looked so terrible because it was low budget, or because she had misread the sign and they were playing a classic. The special effects were horrible, and you could see the actors through their full-face masks. Katie tilted her head, trying to pay attention.

  Holy mother of God. This is the most horrific thing I have ever seen. I cannot stop laughing.

  Yeah, I’m confused. Is it supposed to be that way? Because the Arnold is much too old for this to be a classic.

  I don’t know, and I don’t care. It’s so bad that I can’t stop watching. It’s like a train wreck, or when someone trips down the stairs. You know you shouldn’t look and what you will see will haunt you forever, but for some reason, life would not be complete without a sneak peek.

  Arnold jumped out from behind a wall in a dark, damp cave. Bats flew overhead, and if you looked just right you could see the shadow of their strings on the walls. Suddenly a “demon” came running from the back, growling and snarling and swiping at the Arnold.

  What in the world did they do here? It looks like they got men and stuck them in rubber suits! Pandora was laughing so hard it made Katie laugh too.

  I want us to count. Every time the Arnold says, ‘Aha, I got you, demon!’ we have to eat a donut.

  Wow, even I don’t know if we can eat that many donuts.

  Katie laughed every time Arnold said it, putting her feet up on the railing and grabbing a handful of popcorn. Somehow the movie was so bad it was almost entertaining. The music was very dramatic, like it belonged in an epic romance or a famous action adventure. It didn’t, however, fit this movie at all.

  Oh my God, is he going to kiss her? Seriously? She could be his daughter!

  “Don’t do it! He’s your grandpa!” Katie yelled. Everyone in the theatre laughed and then grimaced as the young actress kissed Arnold.

  Hmmm, what do we have here? Pandora sniffed. There are three people down there in the audience who have little demons in them.

  Katie sat up and looked around, immediately on the alert. Where? Are they dangerous?