Look the Other Way

by Leigh Jones

  “I always wanted to wear dresses like this, but Mama would never let us,” Gloria said, smiling wistfully. “When we get out of here, I will never wear anything like this again.”

  Esperanza wondered whether her little sister really believed they would be free one day. She didn’t dare ask. Dreams of freedom, no matter how unrealistic, kept them from collapsing under their horror. Esperanza stood up, turned her back on the mirror and wrapped her arms around her sister’s slender shoulders.

  “You won’t have to,” she said. “You won’t have to.”

  When she pulled back, big pools of tears filled Gloria’s eyes. Esperanza pulled a tissue from the box on the table and gently blotted her sister’s face.

  “We’d better go,” Gloria said, her voice trembling just slightly. “I don’t want him to knock again.”

  Just as the sisters walked into the living room, the front door opened and El Jefe strode inside, leading four men behind him. Through the open door, Esperanza could see the sky beginning to turn the milky blue of evening. The sun setting behind the house threw a pale hue of orange toward the opposite horizon.

  “There they are!” El Jefe said, stepping forward to take the sisters by the hand and pull them toward his guests. “These are my beautiful girls, gentlemen. Be nice to them, and they will be very nice to you. Isn’t that right, girls?”

  With that, El Jefe leaned toward Gloria and kissed her on the cheek. As he turned to kiss Esperanza, he squeezed her butt and whispered in her ear, “Smile, chica linda.” Esperanza forced herself to smile, her heart pounding in her ears. It was like this every time they met new men. She tried to size each one up, carefully examining his clothes, his demeanor, and finally his face. Did he look brutal or kind? Were his eyes hungry or only excited? She had gotten fairly good at predicting which ones wanted to inflict pain and which ones just wanted a good time. Three of the men were new and glanced back and forth between the sisters, their eyes devouring every curve, deciding which one they liked best. Esperanza recognized the fourth one from several previous visits. He only had eyes for Gloria, gazing at her with a mixture of wonder and raw desire. Gloria smiled shyly at all of the men, her eyes lingering a little longer on the man looking so intently at her. The hair on the back of Esperanza’s neck slowly began to rise.

  “Girls, bring us some drinks,” El Jefe bellowed, clapping his hands together and motioning for the men to come into the room and relax on the deep leather couches.

  Esperanza and Gloria scurried to the bar that lined the back wall, pulling glasses and bottles out of the cabinets as El Jefe called out drink orders. Two beers, one scotch, neat, and one margarita on the rocks. Their captor would have wine, as always. Esperanza set the drinks on a tray while Gloria went back to the kitchen to get plates of appetizers. After a few drinks, El Jefe would grill the flank steaks now swimming in marinade in the refrigerator.

  While the men drank and talked, the girls perched on the arms of the couches, refilling glasses and smiling any time one of them looked their way. Smiling had become just another forced action disconnected from its real meaning, like almost everything else they did. That mask of acceptance was much easier to put on than it had been at first. During the first party El Jefe hosted, Esperanza thought she would never be able to force her face to do what he wanted, let alone the rest of her body. The second time was worse, because she knew what was coming after the smiles and the drinks. After that, she learned to let her body do El Jefe's bidding while her mind retreated to a place of fantasy, and freedom.

  When El Jefe stood and walked toward the kitchen to get the steaks, he motioned for Esperanza to follow him. She glanced at Gloria, who smiled reassuringly. Esperanza hated to leave her sister alone with the four men, but she didn’t dare refuse El Jefe's order. She followed him to the kitchen where he handed her the pan and then led the way out the side door. The grill perched on the edge of a wide deck that wrapped all the way around the house. While her captor lit the burners and spread the meat out over the flames, Esperanza looked across the water that surrounded them. The coast line here looked so much different than the rocky, jungle-backed shore at home, where azure waves crashed onto sandy beaches. Their domestic prison rose on thick pilings above a muddy, marshy expanse. She was sure the water that lapped just feet from the parking pad under the house wasn’t too deep to wade through. Scrub brush hedged the property about thirty feet on either side of the house. But at night, the girls had spotted lights twinkling through the branches. Sometimes, Esperanza thought about making a run for it.

  “I know what you’re thinking, chica,” El Jefe said, putting his arm around her waist and bringing his lips close to her ear. His touch made her stomach turn. “It doesn’t look far, but you would never make it. And why would you want to leave? You have everything here you need. Don’t you?”

  Esperanza’s hands balled into fists as he bent down and kissed her neck.

  “Hey!” One of the men opened the door and stuck his head out. He swayed just slightly. “I thought you were out here cooking. Looks like you’re just having your own private party.”

  “Mi amigo, I can party whenever I want, if you know what I mean,” El Jefe said, giving Esperanza another squeeze and smacking her hard on the backside. “The steaks are almost done, but if you want an appetizer, be my guest. I think Esperanza is getting a little bored. Aren’t you, my dear?”

  Esperanza swallowed back bile as she looked at the man. Tiny beads of sweat dotted his forehead.

  “Well, I can take care of that,” he said. “Come here, baby.”

  As he leaned toward her, he licked his lips.

  Chapter 12

  While the men ate at the wide, rough-hewn table that sat between the couches and the bar, Gloria and Esperanza stayed on the couch. This was always the most difficult time, waiting for the men to fill their stomachs. As their hunger subsided, their lust grew. Esperanza normally watched them carefully while they ate. If she sensed one might be more brutal than the others, she would rise to meet him when they were done, hoping to deflect any interest in her sister. But tonight, she stared past the table, trying not to think about the one who had just led her back to her bedroom. The spot where he sank his teeth into her shoulder throbbed.

  “Esperanza, was it really bad?”

  Her sister’s barely audible whisper dragged her back to the living room. She tried to smile.

  “No, no. It was fine. Don’t worry about me.”

  Gloria’s anxious eyes blocked out everything else. She looked so painfully young when she was worried. Esperanza reached out and took her sister’s hand. Gloria squeezed her fingers tightly. Before letting go, she glanced over at the men and then leaned toward Esperanza.

  “Do you recognize the one who’s been here before?” Gloria whispered. “He keeps looking at me. I know they all look, but he’s different.”

  Esperanza nodded and focused on the table. Even as he talked to the other men, the repeat customer glanced toward the girls. He had a narrow, mild-looking face with a soft mouth and blue eyes. His sandy blond hair was cut close but not severely, giving an overall impression of leisure. He stood out from his companions for his lack of intensity. When he caught them looking at him, he smiled. Most of the men leered or beamed wolfish grins at them, but his smile was almost hesitant. He reminded Esperanza of the love-sick teens who gathered in clusters in the town square at home on Saturday nights, hoping for an encouraging glance from the girls who strolled by with their families. Could he have fallen in love with her sister?

  El Jefe pushed his plate away and stood, stretching his arms over his head and patting his stomach. When the others stood as well and headed toward the living room, the man the girls had been watching put his hand on El Jefe's arm to hold him back. He leaned toward his host and whispered something urgently in his ear.

  “Mi amigo!” El Jefe said, pulling away in surprise. Then, he let out a barking laugh. “I cannot play favorites.”

  The man leaned in again
and whispered something else. Esperanza had to stand now to greet the other men and couldn’t see El Jefe's reaction. But she heard him laugh again.

  “Bueno, mi amigo. But this kind of access, it does not come cheap.”

  What did that mean? The man who had taken her earlier collapsed on the couch and groaned.

  “I’ve had my turn already, boys. I’m going to have to let my food settle before I can go again.” He grinned up at Esperanza with satisfaction.

  “Well, I’m just getting started,” one of the others said, reaching out to clasp Esperanza behind the neck. “Come here, beautiful.”

  His sour breath, as he leaned in to kiss her hard on the mouth, smelled like cigarettes, steak, and beer. She forced a smile and took his hand. She definitely didn’t want this one coming for her sister. She would make sure he was too tired for anything else after he was done with her. As she led him toward her room, she heard El Jefe laugh again.

  “Gloria, venir aqui,” he said.

  Esperanza glanced over her shoulder as her sister approached their captor and the man who had watched her all night. He leaned forward just slightly, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He smiled almost shyly as her sister approached. He knew he could take her back to her room any time he was ready. What more could he possibly want?

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  The red numbers on the digital clock on her bedside table read 2:00 a.m. when Esperanza eased herself onto the edge of her bed and took a deep breath. Her two after-dinner visitors had been mercifully brief, but then the first man had come back, evidently energized by his short nap. He was rough with her, and seeing her wince in pain only seemed to get him more excited. She’d tried hard to look bored until he was finished. But it would probably take days for the soreness to ease. She tried to empty her mind, put it in neutral, anything to avoid replaying the scene.

  A tap on her door roused her from her daze and struck her with a pang of guilt. She hadn’t seen her sister since right after dinner. She should have checked on her as soon as the men left. Gloria swung the door open just enough for her to slip in and then shut it quietly behind her. El Carcelero didn’t like them to stay up late and would surely tell her to go back to her room if he heard them. Esperanza tried to smile as her sister climbed onto the end of the bed and sat cross-legged, pulling a pillow onto her lap. She used to do that at home when she wanted to talk about something important. But it had been a long time since they’d had an easy, relaxed conversation.

  “How was it?” Gloria asked quietly. “I’m sorry you had to take the other three.”

  Esperanza frowned. She hadn’t realized it until now, but all of the men except the one so enamored by her sister had come to her.

  “You only had one?” she asked. “That’s good. But what happened?”

  “El Jefe called me over and told me the man wanted me all to himself tonight. I was surprised, but of course I didn’t argue. I was kind of relieved, but I didn’t think about what that would mean for you. I’m sorry.”

  Esperanza’s throat tightened as her baby sister apologized for something she never should have had to endure in the first place. Guilt gnawed at Esperanza’s heart every day her sister didn’t blame her for getting them into this horror. But she could never bear her sister’s anger, no matter how much she deserved it.

  “It doesn’t matter,” Esperanza said, reaching out to squeeze Gloria’s hand. “I’m fine. Tell me about this man.”

  “He’s different from the others. Almost tender, at first, like a lover. He told me his name, Jim, and he said he hated the thought of me being with anyone else.”

  Esperanza stared at her sister in surprise. The men never bothered to introduce themselves. And they certainly never got possessive. A kernel of worry took root in the pit of her stomach. What was this man playing at?

  “When he was done, he just wanted to talk,” Gloria continued. “He told me he’d never done anything like this before but his wife no longer made him happy.”

  Esperanza snorted. She suspected most of the men El Jefe brought to the house had wives at home. But she doubted many of them bothered to blame their wives for their behavior. They wanted what they wanted, so they took it. Why did this man need an excuse?

  “Was he kind to you?”

  Gloria nodded. “If I have to do this, I would much rather it be with someone like him.”

  Her sister’s words felt like a punch in the stomach. If I have to do this. How had they reached a point where the lesser of two evils seemed like a blessing? Would there ever be a time they didn’t have to do this?

  Gloria yawned and smiled sleepily. Esperanza squeezed her hand again.

  “Go to bed, chula. It’s late.”

  “Don’t you want me to help you change the sheets?” Gloria asked as she stood and stretched. They never went to sleep on the sheets the men had defiled. “I’ve already done mine.”

  “No. I’ll do it. Go, sleep now.” Esperanza gave her sister a quick hug, kissed her forehead, and watched her slip out the door.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  The next morning, Esperanza got up as soon as she heard the birds tuning up outside her window. She hadn’t slept well. She couldn’t stop thinking about the man who seemed so obsessed with her sister. When Gloria talked about life after this hell, her fantasy always began with El Jefe setting them free after they paid off their debt. Esperanza was convinced that would never happen. He would never let them go willingly, at least not as long as they were making him money. On the few occasions she dreamed of freedom, she always assumed they would escape, somehow slipping out the front door and down the stairs undetected. They would run down the long driveway to the road and pray someone drove by.

  Never in a million years did she think her sister’s salvation might come through one of El Jefe's customers. But she sensed an opportunity. What if this man really did fall in love with Gloria? What if he wanted to make sure he was the only man she ever saw? Could he convince El Jefe to let her go? He would probably want something in return, but this man looked like he could afford it.

  While she made coffee, she dreamed about securing her sister’s freedom. She imagined Gloria in her own apartment, free to do what she pleased. Of course, it wouldn’t be true freedom. She would still be at a man’s mercy, but it would only be one man. And it would be a man who cared for her, maybe. Perhaps one day she could find a way to truly escape.

  She carried a cup of coffee into the living room, where El Carcelero sat on the couch, watching TV. He took it from her without looking away from the screen. He had a room in the back of the house but she didn’t think he slept there often. During their first few weeks there, when she still thought escape might be possible, she peeked out her bedroom door several times during consecutive nights. Each time, she could see him standing on the deck, leaning on the railing. The orange embers at the end of his cigarette glowed like a tiny warning. He was a constant presence then.

  Now he only came by every few days. She’d heard him talking to El Jefe about other girls. More unsuspecting women lured from their homes with false promises of honest work. Just like her and Gloria. But it didn’t sound like they hosted parties for El Jefe. They met men at a hotel. She shuddered to think about how much worse that would be.

  When El Carcelero left their prison, an older woman took his place. She barked orders at the girls while they cleaned the house and supervised them when they prepared meals in the kitchen. Her harsh words were tempered only by her occasional exclamations over their beauty. She brought them makeup and clothes, painted their nails, cut and styled their hair. Esperanza felt like a life-sized doll during their “fashion” sessions. She thought the woman might have taken pity on them. She was old enough to be their mother. But the care she took over their looks never made its way into her heart. One day, after putting Gloria into a deep purple dress that set off her caramel skin and her shiny black hair, the woman had stepped back and smiled with satisfaction.

  “Like an angel,” she had sai
d. “A dirty, fallen angel.” Then she cackled, witch-like, when Gloria started to cry.

  Esperanza shuddered as the scene rolled across her memory. They’d known nothing but savagery since they arrived. This man who had such an unusual interest in her sister was the first person to show them any kindness in months. Of course, it was a self-serving kindness, but at this point, she would take it. Now she just had to figure out how her sister could use it to her advantage.

  When Gloria woke up, Esperanza scrambled some eggs with bell pepper and onion and set a package of tortillas on the table. El Carcelero took his plate out to the deck, where he could smoke in peace. El Jefe didn’t allow smoking in the house. When he was out of earshot, Esperanza smiled at her sister.

  “I’ve been thinking about this man,” she said, pausing as she suddenly had second thoughts about what she planned to say.

  Gloria looked at her expectantly, her eyes showed no sign of suspicion or unease. Knowing her sister trusted her completely made Esperanza even more uncertain about her suggestion. Gloria wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her. What if she put her in even more danger, or perhaps worse, prolonged her captivity? She stared at the teen so long without saying anything that Gloria finally reached out and touched her cheek.

  “What is it? Are you okay?” she asked.

  Esperanza nodded and smiled again, wistfully this time.

  “Sometimes I just can’t believe we even have to talk about these things,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. “Lo siento.” She could feel the familiar terror rising in her chest, making it hard to breathe.

  Gloria reached out and took her hand, squeezing it so tightly the tips of Esperanza’s fingers turned red.

  “Don’t,” Gloria said. “It’s not your fault. I chose to come. You didn’t know what was waiting on the other side of that journey.”