Pretend Daddy

by Brent, Amy

  All I could do was cry. My sounds and shaking shoulders silenced my best friend, and she held me in the fluorescent lighting of her apartment while I cried. I felt drained. Used. Wasted away. I felt alone and exhausted. Like I was running in the dark and constantly breaking my toes as I shoved them into obstacles I couldn’t see.

  “Holy hell, Amber. What’s going on?”

  “I don’t even know where to start,” I sobbed.

  “Then start at the beginning.” The rhythmic rocking back and forth she was doing with her body helped me to calm down. We headed to her couch once I collected myself, and her hand squeezed mine tight while her eyes bored into me. She was anxious and worried, but I had to take time to gather my thoughts. It was all so much, and it was all so intertwined.

  “My phone’s been cut off, it’s why you can’t get ahold of me,” I said.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Because I registered a business name for my dance studio over the weekend,” I said.

  “Why would your parents cut you off like that?” she asked.

  “Because I made them a promise when I was seventeen that if I was going to major in dance, then I’d have to come back and work off the education they would be paying for that they didn’t agree with,” I said.

  “So, when you registered your dance business name, what?”

  “They took that as me throwing my promise in their face. Kelly, they had me fucking followed by a private investigator.”

  “Say that last part one more time,” she said.

  “It’s ridiculous, right? I had to keep asking them just to make sure I’d heard them right!”

  “They hired a PI to dig into you?” she asked.

  “From what they made it sound like, they’ve always had a PI. They said they had one track me for a little while when I first went to college to make sure I’d be alright.”

  “Holy shit, do they know about Tyler?”

  “Not to my knowledge, no. But, that entire thing is a whole other story,” I said.

  “What happened there?” she asked. “I mean, at the club he was pretty intense.”

  “So, you remember that? Him getting up on stage?”

  “And proclaiming his undying love for you? Hell yeah, I remember it. It was so romantic even though he swallowed back his vomit after,” she said.

  “Gross.”

  “What’s going on there?” she asked.

  “Luke and he got into a massive fight, I think. I’m not sure of all the details, but I believe they’re splitting the company or something? Except he was about to leave town, I’m not sure. All I know is I saw him at a gas station with a rental car yesterday, I asked him to come back to my apartment, we fucked like rabbits, then when I woke up he was gone.”

  “Gone. Without a note or anything?” she asked.

  “I mean, there was a note. Saying he’d be back. But, what if he doesn’t come back, Kelly? I don’t have a phone to call him, and I don’t have money for gas to go find him.”

  “Wait, your parents cut off your credit cards, too?” she asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “How in the world are you going to pay rent? And your car? And your insurance?” she asked “Your part-time job doesn’t allow for all that. They haven’t promoted you yet.”

  “I know all this, Kelly, and they don’t care. At least, they don’t seem like they do. They’re trying to smoke me out thinking I’ll come running back to them. But, half-pay at the company wouldn’t do any of that, either,” I said.

  “Half pay?”

  “Yeah, that was the agreement. I’d work for half-pay, and the other half would go back to my parents to pay off my education. I’d work like that until I paid them off for it. All fifty-thousand dollars.”

  “Amber, this is bullshit, and you know it. What the fuck are they thinking? You’re their daughter!”

  “You wouldn’t know it by how they’re acting,” I said.

  Just then, a knock came at Kelly’s door. She got up from the couch and went over to her peephole and took a deep breath before she looked at me. She looked like she was debating something. Whoever was behind that door would change what was going on in here. But, before she could make up her mind, a voice sounded behind it.

  “Kelly, I know you’re in there. Open up.”

  Luke.

  That was fucking Luke.

  “Open the door,” I said.

  The door opened, and Luke poked his head in. He saw me sitting on the couch and breathed a sigh of relief, but Kelly blocked him from coming in.

  “What the fuck are you doing here, Luke?” I asked.

  “I was coming to find you,” he said.

  “Fuck that nonsense. You’re strolling around my best friend’s apartment, but I can’t even hang out with Tyler? What kind of bullshit is that? Picked up Mom and Dad’s double-standards, I see.”

  “For one, Kelly and I only made out a couple of times. You and Tyler seem to be under the assumption we’re fucking, but we’re not,” he said.

  “Wait, you think I’m screwing your brother?” Kelly asked.

  “You two ventured off into the bathroom the last time we were at the club for, like, an hour. What the hell was I supposed to think? I listen to the way you go on and on about him at my lunches. You mean to tell me I wasn’t supposed to think the two of you were screwing?” I asked.

  “Wait, what?” Luke asked.

  “Later. Listen, we aren’t screwing around. Kissing, yeah. Some necking? Sure. But, not sex. Definitely not sex. You know me better than that, Amber.”

  “I don’t know anyone anymore, Kelly,” I said.

  “Besides, after that night at the club, we realized we really weren’t right for one another anyway. It was fun, but there wasn’t a spark,” Luke said.

  “Yeah. Your brother’s hot and all, but neither of us are ready to, you know, do the damn thing,” Kelly said.

  “Gross,” I murmured. “How did you know I was here?”

  “There are only a few places you go when you’re this upset. Kelly’s is the first place I thought of. When I pulled up and saw your car, I figured I’d come up and see if you were here,” Luke said.

  “That and I texted him when you first came in,” Kelly said.

  “How the hell did you manage that?” I asked.

  “You were crying pretty hard. It was easy to slip by you.”

  “That’s the only reason I’m here. Can I please come in?” Luke asked.

  Kelly finally let him in, and he sat beside me on the couch. He took my hand within his, and tears began to drip down my face again. I missed this. Having my brother so close to me. It killed me whenever we were fighting, but he couldn't treat me like a child anymore.

  “Luke.”

  “I’m sorry, Amber.”

  He had my attention.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I’m sorry. For everything. You’re not a child anymore. You’re not the lanky little sister I had to protect in school. You’re a woman with dreams and plans, and it’s hard for me to see that sometimes when I look at you,” Luke said.

  “Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?” I asked.

  “And you were right,” he said.

  “Holy shit, you really aren’t my brother. What monster clone thing is this?” I asked.

  “Amber, I’m serious,” he said. “You hit the nail on the head when you called me out. About there being another girl back in New York City. There is. Well, there was. Rebecca was her name. We were on and off, not serious. I kept having some commitment issues or some other bullshit like that, and I started ignoring her when Kelly and I started hanging out. It wasn’t right, but every time I saw Tyler look at you the way he did, it reminded me of what I was doing to her, and I lost it. I thought Tyler would do the same thing to you that I was doing to her.”

  “Are you alright?” I asked.

  “This isn’t about me right now, it’s about you. I need you to know that I see how different Ty
ler is when he’s with you. It’s not like when I’m with Rebecca or when Kelly and I were doing our thing.”

  “Not by a longshot,” Kelly said, grinning.

  “He does care for you. He thinks about you all the time, and I know he enjoys spending time with you. And honestly? I’ve never seen another person more perfect for you. He can put up with your shit without taking your bullshit. Hell, he’ll match your shit before he calls you out on it. I see the way you look at him, the way you gravitate toward one another. And if you want to be with him, then you should.”

  “Wait. You’re serious,” I said.

  “As a heart attack. When he came to talk to me this morning, I saw it. Right there on his face,” he said.

  “He came to talk with you this morning?” I asked.

  “Yep. Came in on his white horse defending your honor and everything,” Luke said, chuckling.

  “And if I want to be with your best friend, you’re okay with that?” I asked.

  “Yep.”

  “Do you by any chance know where he is?” I asked.

  “Honestly? No. He came by to see me this morning, then he left. I figured he went back to the apartment where you were or something.”

  “Shit. I woke up this morning and he was gone.”

  I bit down on my lip before Luke let out a chuckle.

  “I know you two were together last night. You left an impressive hickey on his neck.”

  “Oh, shit,” I groaned.

  “There’s a good chance he’s gone back to your apartment looking for you, but there could also be another million places in this city he went,” Luke said.

  “Where do I start?” I asked.

  “We start by calling him,” Luke said.

  “I don’t have a phone,” I said.

  “Which I’m going to ream Mom and Dad for later. For now, we’ll use mine.”

  Chapter 27

  Tyler

  I sat on the edge of Amber’s bed and waited. I had no idea where she could’ve gone, but I told her I was going to come back. I left her a note letting her know I wasn’t leaving town, so the only thing I could do was wait. I hoped she hadn’t woken up angry. And hopefully, she had gotten enough rest last night.

  I tried to write the note so she would understand I was serious about her.

  I heard the door open and went charging into the living room. Amber was coming through the door, and she seemed to look a little more relieved than yesterday. She turned and caught my eye before she crossed the room. There was a sparkle in her eye that I hadn’t seen last night. I could tell she had not been entirely herself even as we had fucked each other silly throughout the rooms of her apartment. There wasn’t that same spunky light in her eyes I was used to.

  The light I had fallen in love with.

  But now, it was there. Now, it was growing. Now, I could see glimpses of the Amber I’d come to know and adore.

  And I wanted to know where she had been.

  “You came back,” she said.

  “Of course, I did. I left you a note that I would. Where did you go?” I asked.

  “I went to Kelly’s. Why weren’t you here when I woke up?”

  “I went to talk to Luke.”

  “Luke showed up at Kelly’s,” she said.

  “Why the hell was he at Kelly’s?” I asked.

  “Looking for me.”

  “Want me to make you some coffee?” I asked.

  “Holy hell, I’d love some.”

  She went and sat down on her couch while I made both of us cups of coffee. I still needed to tell her I was going to go talk to her parents tomorrow. I knew she probably wouldn’t mind me talking to Luke, but I had a feeling she would balk at me going to see Ron and Darlene. But, I had to fix this mess. By the look in her eye, it seems things worked out with her brother. But that was only a third of that I’d set out to do.

  “Cream and sugar?” I asked.

  “Just sugar,” she said. “Yeah, he showed up at Kelly’s looking for me, and we talked. He told me you went to talk with him this morning.”

  “I did,” I said, handing her the coffee. “He was being an idiot, and he needed to know that.”

  “And you talked with him about us,” she said.

  Not a question. A statement.

  “Yes, I did. I told him how I felt about you,” I said.

  “And how do you feel?”

  I looked into her eyes while she held her coffee in her lap. I studied her features, the anxiousness rising in her eyes and the way her grip strengthened on her coffee cup. I watched hesitation roll across her face, second-guessing whether she should have asked the question or not. In that very moment, I knew I loved her. The vulnerability she felt with me and the way she threw herself out there. She was reckless in ways I was addicted to and strong in ways I wasn’t. She had passions that ruled her life, and she would endure anything to get them.

  Including being cut off from her family.

  “I love you, Amber,” I said.

  I watched her put her coffee cup down before she crawled into my lap. She tucked her head up underneath my chin, snuggling into my body as I chuckled into her hair. I could feel her relaxing into me, melting into my body in ways I hadn’t experienced. She pushed herself deeper and deeper, wanting me to shield her and tuck her away from the world.

  And I was more than willing to do it. For her.

  “I love you for what you did this morning, going and talking with my brother,” she said.

  “Then, you’ll love me, even more, when I tell you I’m going to go talk with your parents tomorrow?” I asked.

  “Tyler, no.” I felt her head lift, and she caught my gaze, and the confidence and vulnerability found in her eyes had dissipated into fear and worry.

  “Please, don’t do that.”

  “Amber, I need to, and I’m going to. You’re hurting, and I can’t stand by and watch you hurt like this. Especially when it’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. I’m responsible for it, and I’d kick myself if I didn’t try to fix it. I don’t know if what I have to say is going to fix anything, but I have to try. Alright?”

  “Tyler, please. What’s done is done. Can’t we move on and forget it? Luke and I talked. Things are good between us right now. He even, you know, gave his approval for us and told me I was right. It doesn’t get much better than that in my family,” she said.

  “Then, you sit back and watch me get you better,” I said.

  That night, we fell asleep knotted up in each other’s bodies. I spent the evening kissing every inch of her body before we fell asleep panting beside one another. I woke up that morning to the same beautiful rays of sun glistening the naked spots of her body. I kissed every single one of them before leaving her a note that promised I would be back soon.

  Then, I headed over to her parents’ house.

  I knocked on the door, and Darlene answered. Even with everything that was going on, she still answered with a smile on her face and ushered me in the door.

  “Is Ron here?” I asked.

  “He isn’t, honey. He’ll be out for a while. Can I help you with something?” Darlene asked.

  “Yes, actually. I was wondering if you’d sit down and have a conversation with me.”

  “Of course. Is everything alright? Is Luke okay?” she asked.

  “I’m surprised you didn’t ask if Amber was alright.”

  Her silence told me a lot, so I decided to get to the point.

  “Mrs. Duffield, I’ll get straight to the point and tell you what I told Luke.”

  “Alright,” she said.

  “Amber is no longer a child. Did she make you a promise when she was younger? Yes. But, in the process of trying to get her to mold to whatever expectation you have of her, you tossed your baby girl out into the cold without a jacket. You’ve created a scenario where she literally will not have a place to call home in three weeks, and neither of you care.”

  “Of course, we care,” she said. “But, familia
l responsibilities are important.”

  “Which is interesting, coming from someone who did exactly what you just did to your own daughter,” I said. “Amber has a dream. A dream you two don’t support. But, she isn’t a child anymore. She can make her own decisions for her life. And I care about your daughter greatly. I’ve fallen in love with her. I know my bank account isn’t fat enough for you or whatever, but one day it will be, and I’ll be able to give Amber everything she’s ever wanted: her dance studio, the consignment shop, a house, security. She’ll get what she wants, whether you and Mr. Duffield are there to experience it or not.”