Pretend Daddy

by Brent, Amy

  I felt that undeniable tightness in between my legs. Blood rushed through my veins warmly, and it felt as though millions of bubbles fizzled beneath my skin from the thought of actually touching Gage. It had been too long since I’d last truly enjoyed the touch of a man. Scott had never cared for foreplay, or my pleasure for that matter. Sex had always been about him. Never about me after we were married.

  Gage already did strange things to me without even touching me. It was the look in his eyes, the recognition of me as a young woman, not as Beau’s young daughter, that thrilled me beyond anything else. Years ago, it would’ve been my fondest fantasy to be under the same roof as Gage Devlin for an entire month away from the eye of the press on us. An entire month of finding myself in those strong arms didn’t seem so stellar now, considering my father had asked for Gage to keep an eye on me.

  My blood continued to bubble warmly, though. The core of me ached as those wicked fantasies of Gage’s hand between my legs flashed through my mind. Pleasure surged through me when I reached down to feel the slickness and heat there, despite the cooling water. If I had to spend an entire month with Gage in the next room, I had to do something. I had to get rid of this tension now before sitting in the car with him for ten hours.

  “Mommy?”

  I jumped in surprise, nearly slipping against the slick shower tiles at the sound of Ethan’s voice cutting through the steam in the bathroom. I spotted his tiny body through the cloud of steam as he approached the shower door.

  “Ethan, honey. You have to knock before coming in like that.”

  “Papa says we’re leaving,” Ethan said. “He says we have to go bye-bye.”

  I could hear that tell-tale tremor of tears in his voice. He was on the brink of having an emotional breakdown, so I quickly turned the cold water on to cool my heated body. I wrapped myself up in a fluffy white towel that smelled of laundry soap before gathering Ethan up in my arms. Setting him down on the edge of the bed, I dressed while listening to his quiet sniffs with a sinking heart. Ethan rarely cried out loud. I found myself wanting those type of outbursts, not the quiet ones that tore at my heart strings.

  “Okay, mister,” I said and sat down in the center of the bed with Ethan in my lap. “What’s going on? Why are we upset this morning?”

  Ethan wiped at his eyes with a low-throated cry. “I don’t want to leave Papa and Grandma’s. Did I do something wrong?”

  “Of course not,” I soothed, smoothing back his fair blonde hair. “Why would you think that you’ve done something wrong?”

  “Because we left Dad’s when we were both bad.”

  I stiffened at that. No matter how much I convinced myself that I had shielded Ethan from the abuse, there were moments like these that I knew he had seen and heard more than he should’ve heard. How did anyone explain to their children that their father wasn’t the best person on the planet? How could I explain to him that we did nothing wrong when he believed his father’s words over my own?”

  A headache pounded in my temples again.

  “You haven’t done anything wrong. Okay?” I waited for Ethan to nod meekly. “What happened between your daddy and me had nothing to do with you. Papa just thinks that some time away will do us both some good. It won’t be permanent. I promise.”

  “We will come back?”

  “We’ll come back to see Papa and Grandma when they are back from work,” I said. “If you miss them, we can figure something out. Maybe go fly on a plane to visit Papa where he works?”

  “Yeah!” Ethan’s face visibly brightened at the prospect of flying on an airplane. “Let’s do that, Mommy. I want to fly on a plane with Papa.”

  “I’ll make sure to mention it to him,” I said, kissing his forehead with a smile. “Go on now. Get one of the maids to help you get dressed while I finish up here.”

  Ethan climbed off the bed with surprising grace and speed that I envied him for. He paused for a moment in the doorway to look back at me with a concerned frown.

  “Is that man down with Papa a good man?”

  “You mean Gage?” He nodded. “Yes, he’s a good man. Papa trusts him.”

  I waited to finish getting ready until I heard Ethan’s voice and a maid’s voice in the hallway. After sorting through a few boxes, I settled on a couple of suitcases full of winter clothes, along with my favorite books and computer. I helped Ethan sort through the massive pile of new toys in his room, courtesy of his grandparents, before packing his own bag. There was a flurry of movement and voices in the living room when I came downstairs with a few suitcases. The security team was preparing for us to leave, but there were also members of my dad’s personal counsel and PR team there, too.

  Gage stood far from the chaos of people in the living room. His hands were tucked behind his back as he watched me come down the stairs. My heart skipped when our eyes met. I couldn’t read a single emotion in his eyes, which made it intimidating. He came forward to help with the few suitcases I managed to bring down.

  “Thank you,” I said. “I can help you put them in the car.”

  “I can do it,” he replied, grabbing them from me. “I can’t stand it in here, anyway. Too many people and conversations.”

  I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. “Welcome to my life. That’s a normal day in this household.”

  A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips. I gathered the rest of my bags and suitcases from the hallway above the stairs before finding Ethan wrapped up in my father’s arms. He pressed a kiss to Ethan’s cheek with a smile.

  “Be a good boy, okay? We will play when I come back. Grandma will be back soon, too.”

  I waited for Ethan to finish up his tearful goodbye with my father before taking hold of Ethan’s hand in mine. I met my father’s eyes, and a stab of anger went through me again. Even if this was Gage Devlin, I didn’t appreciate being pawned off like this. I didn’t voice it, but I knew that the PR team was scrambling to defend the Roselynn name against Scott’s lies to the media. It was just easier if we weren’t around to see what sort of tactics they were going to employ.

  “Have a safe flight to D.C,” I said coolly. “I guess that I’ll see you later, then.”

  “Don’t be so melodramatic, Amber. It doesn’t fit you.”

  He pressed a kissed to my cheek, too, but I pulled away to combat the tears in my eyes. I followed the security team out to the SUV where Gage was buckling in a car seat for Ethan. He held out a hand to Ethan when we approached.

  “Hi, Ethan,” he said. “I’m Gage. Do you want to stop and get some lunch at your favorite place?”

  Ethan’s eyes widened with hope. “McDonalds?”

  “Yes, McDonalds,” Gage replied, nodding with a small grin. “Then, we can pick up my daughter. Her name is Lily, and she’s ten years old. I know that she’ll like having someone to play with.”

  I smiled gratefully when Gage picked Ethan up to place him in the car seat and buckled him in. He opened the passenger door for me next, and waited wordlessly while I settled in the seat before closing it securely. I pulled the small shade down in the window as Gage hopped up into the driver’s seat.

  “I didn’t want this SUV,” he remarked, fiddling with the gear stick. “Your dad’s security insisted on taking it because it’s harder for the media to see through the windows.”

  “My dad thinks he knows best,” I said.

  Gage looked over at me with an arched eyebrow. “He’s just doing what he thinks will help you and Ethan, is all. Get away from all this chaos and cameras.”

  “They’ll find me eventually. It only takes one word to get out there. And they’ll find me.”

  That wave of crushing sadness came again. I pulled my sunglasses down over my eyes to hide the tears there while Gage started the SUV. He pulled down the drive way slowly, with a stream of cars around us. I hunkered down in the seat when I caught sight of media vans parked along the road outside the driveway. I watched as the vans scrambled to follow a different car, t
he ploy car, in the opposite direction before sitting up straight again.

  This was the new normal. Hiding out from the media because of my father’s status in a tense political climate. Everything we did was under the watchful gaze of the rest of the United States. That included my divorce. That included Ethan’s custody case with Scott, who recently told reporters that we were making up allegations for custody reasons. I could still picture Scott’s leering face surrounded by a crowd of cameras and microphones as he accused my father of using his wealth to get what he wanted. That sort of thing provoked a sense of scandal these days.

  I looked over to Gage as he drove along with his eyes focused on the road in front of us. If the general public thought Scott’s allegations were the true scandals, I didn’t want to imagine what they would think if I acted out on my desires that involved the man currently behind the steering wheel.

  Chapter 7

  Gage

  “You’re shitting me, right?”

  I rolled my eyes when Raychelle pushed aside the living room curtains to peer out at the SUV rental Beau insisted on us driving for protection. She squinted at the passenger window, but was unable to catch sight of Amber sitting in the passenger seat. She let the curtain fall back into place.

  “This is insane, Gage,” she said, shaking her head. “He expects you to look after his daughter, even though she’s clearly old enough look after herself? The last time I checked, Amber should be in her mid-twenties by now.”

  “Twenty-five to be exact,” I said. “Look, I didn’t want to look after her, either, because Amber is an adult, but she needs some time out here to think, away from all the press.”

  “What does the press have to say about her?”

  “It’s not necessarily her. It’s the situation. You know that Beau is going back to Congress this week in D.C. A few of the stories circulating around are about Amber’s divorce. Her ex-husband told reporters that her accusations of abuse are false, and that Beau is using his wealth to get his way when it comes to her kid’s custody.”

  “Well, is it true, then?”

  I frowned at her. “Is what true?”

  “Is he using wealth and status to protect his daughter?” Raychelle asked. “He’s a career politician. They truly are the best bull shitters in America.”

  “Beau isn’t one of those type of politicians. He has a silver tongue, but uses it for the common good. If he didn’t, I wouldn’t be friends with him.”

  The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs interrupted the conversation. I turned to smile up at Lily as she bolted down the stairs to wrap her arms around me in a hug. I pressed a kiss to the top of her hair, inhaling her sweet shampoo with a smile.

  “I missed you,” I said. “Are you ready to go?”

  Lily grabbed her backpack from the couch. “Ready. What’s the surprise that you were talking about on the phone?”

  I grabbed Lily’s pink duffle bag from the couch as well.

  “We have a family friend staying with us,” I explained. “She has a little boy who is three years old, and I’m sure that he’d like to spend some time playing with you.”

  “Really?”

  “Really,” I said with a smile. “His name is Ethan. His mom’s name is Amber.”

  Lily beamed a smile back. “Cool. I’m excited to have someone to play with instead of just sitting in my room all day alone.”

  Those words hit me hard across the chest as Lily embraced Raychelle one last time before darting out to the SUV. I watched as Amber rolled the window down to greet Lily with a friendly smile. There were times that I wished we would’ve tried again for another baby, but my software business had boomed with popularity. I wasn’t the type of father to focus more on his career than family, so we pushed off having another child for a while. The subject never came up again, and it was one of those conversations that still haunted me because it never happened. It was one of those “what if” moments I found myself contemplating all the time after Marcie.

  “Just be careful, Gage,” Raychelle said, watching my face intently. “I don’t want to see you get tangled up in something when you’re still going through cycles of grief, too.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I said, throwing Lily’s duffle bag over my shoulder. “We have something in common at least. Thank you for watching her, Raychelle. I appreciate it.”

  “Anytime. Her homework is done for the evening.”

  I walked along the shoveled pathway to the SUV to toss Lily’s duffle bag in the back with all the other bags. The heater was on full blast when I hopped back in the driver’s seat.

  “Whose car is this?” Lily asked, buckling herself in. “It’s not yours, is it Dad?”

  “It’s a friend’s car,” I replied, and glanced over at Amber who offered a small smile. “Amber and Ethan are going to spend some time with us. What do you think about that?”

  “I’m happy to have them here,” Lily said. She grinned at me in the rearview mirror when I glanced there, turning the SUV back around to head in the direction of home. “It won’t be so boring sitting in the house all alone.”

  Amber was quiet the rest of the drive outside of Bozeman. She kept her face turned to the window and refused to take her sunglasses off, despite the overcast skies. She answered Ethan’s questions, though, whenever he spoke up, or whenever Lily asked questions.

  “How did my dad manage to rope you into this mess?” Amber asked.

  I glanced over her at her briefly in surprise. “I didn’t think that he roped me in, but I suppose that’s an accurate description of it. He bought me a very nice breakfast at the country club.”

  Amber smiled thinly. “I guess my father got the better end of the deal here. You’re stuck babysitting me.”

  “I’m not going to babysit you,” I said, shaking my head. “You’re twenty-five years old. You’re an adult. You know what’s right and wrong. I’m not going to chase you around.”

  “That’s comforting, I suppose,” she replied, but she turned to look back at the window with a small sigh.

  Sadness radiated off her in waves. I had no experience dealing with a woman coming out of a divorce, let alone an abusive marriage, but it filled me with a painful ache thinking of how Amber felt. She had the entire world peering into her life, too. That was enough to make any sane person feel like they have to shut down in order to protect themselves from further heartache.

  I didn’t want to bring up the topic of Scott, either. Beau had encouraged me to make sure that Amber made it to her appointments with their lawyers to go through with the divorce proceedings, but I couldn’t find it in me to say a word to her about it. Reminding her that the past was still there didn’t seem beneficial at the moment.

  There were plenty of projects around the house that I could use Amber’s help on. Maybe a stroll through the forest to take in some much-needed silence would help, too. Either way, I was going to help Amber get through this hardship in her life. Even if it meant getting a bit close to her, closer than I felt comfortable with.

  The driveway was covered in another blanket of snow that the SUV barely managed to get through. I made sure that the gates closed behind us before pulling up to the detached garage. Cutting the engine off, I turned to look back at Lily as she unbuckled herself.

  “Can you help Ethan get inside?” I asked. “You know where the spare key is at. Make sure to give it to Amber.”

  “Sure,” Lily said, and she climbed over the seat to get Ethan out of his car seat. “Come on, Ethan. Let’s go look at my room. It has a lot of toys for us to play with that you’ll like.”

  Amber helped the both of them down from the SUV. She watched as Lily took hold of Ethan’s hand to help him climb up the porch steps in the direction of where I hid a spare key under an empty pot.

  “Your daughter is beautiful,” she said, tucking her hands into the pockets of her coat. “It’s much colder out here. I didn’t realize you lived so far out of the city.”

  I soaked in the si
lence of the forest after spending the past three days in the bustle of Colorado Springs. Ten hours on the road with a squirming Ethan in a car seat, along with a quiet Amber was not ideal, either. I opened the back of the SUV to grab a few bags while Amber grabbed a few as well.

  “It’s quiet out here,” I said. “Sometimes, it’s all I need to feel better.”

  “I can see that.”

  Lily left the kitchen door open to let us carry the bags through. I nearly tripped over Lily’s and Ethan’s boots in the doorstep. Pushing them aside with a sigh, I rolled one of Amber’s suitcases through the kitchen with her right behind me. The chill of winter had settled into the house since we were gone. I kicked the heater up through the thermostat until I could get a fire going in the fireplace.