Three Plays

by Gurcharan Das

  ELLIOT: ‘Peccavi!’

  HARDINGE: Peck what?

  CURRIE: Latin, sir. ‘I have sinned.’

  HARDINGE: Ho, Ho. ‘I have Sind.’ That’s good. ‘I have sinned.’ It’s funny. Ho, ho! (Others join in laughter.)

  Ho, ho.

  (Lawrence has quietly entered from stage right. He is wearing his white chogah. He listens to the three Empire-builders, absorbed with Napier’s victories in the Sind.)

  LAWRENCE: (Quietly.) That was a sin!

  (All three simultaneously turn around, taken by surprise.)

  HARDINGE: (Recovering.) What the devil! Who are you?

  ELLIOT: (Recognizing.) It’s Mr Lawrence, I think.

  LAWRENCE: I believe you asked for me, sir.

  HARDINGE: Good God man, what are you up to? Where did you get these silly robes? Still haven’t learnt to be a soldier, have you?

  CURRIE: Still cheeky, Mr Lawrence?

  (Hardinge turns round to face the map again. The other two follow suit.

  Lawrence is left staring at their backs.)

  HARDINGE: What about the Sind strategy for the hills? (Pointing to Kashmir on the map.)

  Kashmir! I want Kashmir—lovely place, I hear.

  ELLIOT: That would be difficult, sir. What with Gulab Singh having just paid a million sterling for the gaddi, as agreed during the Lahore treaty negotiations …

  HARDINGE: We should be able to manage some sort of arrangement with him.

  ELLIOT: It’s a delicate matter.

  HARDINGE: I know it’s a delicate matter. India’s a delicate matter. Don’t forget gentlemen, we’re the greatest power on this earth today. Everything we do is a delicate matter.

  CURRIE: For the hills, we can adopt the same diplomatic initiative that Napier did in the Sind.

  LAWRENCE: (Interrupting.) Napier is a bounder!

  (All three turn round in amazement.)

  HARDINGE: What, what, what!

  LAWRENCE: Napier is a bounder!

  HARDINGE: Quite, quite. Can’t stand the man myself.

  LAWRENCE: The annexation of Sind is a scandal unequalled in modern history.

  CURRIE: Mr Lawrence, your advice will be sought when necessary. Kindly wait outside till we are done.

  LAWRENCE: I have been asked in here by the Governor-General.

  HARDINGE: (Feeling uncomfortable.) Quite, quite. This bloody heat!

  ELLIOT: That’s India, sir. Will you have a drink?

  HARDINGE: Yes, yes, Elliot. A drink, good idea.

  (Elliot fetches it from stage left.)

  Now what were you saying, Currie?

  CURRIE: I can’t say very much, sir, while that man stands there …

  HARDINGE: Come on, Lawrence. We’re discussing something important. Yes, Currie.

  (They turn to face the map again.)

  CURRIE: I was saying in summary that our policy towards the hills should be as bold as Napier’s was in Sind. As soon as the Punjab is annexed we should plan a Punjab-based campaign in the hills. If all goes well, by January next year you should be able to present Her Majesty with the Western Himalayas.

  LAWRENCE: Acquired through deceit and treachery.

  (They turn round again.)

  HARDINGE: Quite. Come on, Lawrence. Quit making a nuisance of yourself. (Moves to stage left and sits down on a chair. The other two follow suit. Lawrence remains standing at stage right. The room assumes a strange, sinister appearance—a mock court, as it were.)

  Why has Lawrence been called back to Calcutta?

  CURRIE: The list of charges is rather long, sir.

  LAWRENCE: Charges?

  CURRIE: (Smiling.) Charges.

  HARDINGE: What are the charges?

  CURRIE: (Reading.) First, the unauthorized and unnecessary arrest of our most faithful allies and friends in the Punjab kingdom—the Wazir, Lal Singh, and the Army Commander, Tej Singh.

  HARDINGE: (Shaking his head.) Serious matter!

  CURRIE: Two, the unsanctioned release of one month’s revenue of Lahore district, and abdicating his revenue responsibilities for the entire Punjab.

  HARDINGE: Next.

  CURRIE: Three, behaving in a manner not becoming the dignity of the Governor-General’s Agent in the incident known as the ‘cow row.’

  HARDINGE: Hmpf!

  CURRIE: Four, pre-emptory dismissal of one of the best officers of the company.

  HARDINGE: Next.

  CURRIE: Five, employing and favouring a native officer.

  HARDINGE: Anything else?

  CURRIE: Six, accepting valuable gifts without informing his superiors.

  HARDINGE: Is that all?

  CURRIE: Yes sir.

  (Pause. The three look at each other in a meaningful way.)

  HARDINGE: (Generously.) Do you have anything to say for yourself, Lawrence?

  LAWRENCE: Have I been called fifteen hundred miles to answer these ridiculous questions?

  CURRIE: You’re speaking to the Governor-General, sir.

  LAWRENCE: Yes, sir.

  HARDINGE: (Impatiently.) What do you have to say, sir?

  LAWRENCE: Nothing, sir.

  ALL THREE: (Astonished.) Nothing?

  LAWRENCE: Nothing, sir.

  (Uneasy pause.)

  HARDINGE: Come on man, you must have something to say.

  (Silence.)

  CURRIE: (Triumphantly.) Well, if he has nothing to say, then he’s obviously guilty.

  LAWRENCE: (Calmly.) May I be excused, sir?

  (Long, uneasy pause. Hardinge, perplexed at the unexpected outcome, finally gets up and goes to Lawrence.)

  HARDINGE: (Appeasing.) Come on Lawrence, you must have some answer to these charges.

  LAWRENCE: (Correcting him.) These questions. (Coolly.)

  The traitors Lal Singh and Tej Singh are subverting the Raj of His Highness, and they deserve …

  CURRIE: They’re our friends.

  LAWRENCE: They’re traitors.

  HARDINGE: They may be useful to us one day. Release them. Apologize to the Wazir and make the other one a Raja on the day of honours. This is politics, Lawrence. Next?

  CURRIE: The revenue problem, sir.

  HARDINGE: Lawrence, we’ve been concerned by the lack of revenue the Punjab is yielding.

  CURRIE: (Correcting.) By the lack of revenue Mr Lawrence is collecting, sir.

  LAWRENCE: We’re still making a just settlement. It will take us a few more months before we can start the collection process.

  HARDINGE: In the meantime, the Punjab is costing us money, young man. You must get on with it. I have to answer to impatient Directors.

  LAWRENCE: But our revenue settlement should be just, shouldn’t it?

  HARDINGE: I’m afraid the Directors are far more concerned with the balance sheet than justice.

  LAWRENCE: In the long run, I believe, it is our just dealings with the people that will make us respected.

  CURRIE: It isn’t respect that we desire, Mr Lawrence. It is revenue and the natives will have to accept that.

  LAWRENCE: In the end, a contented people will give far greater returns. History shows that arbitrary governments never last for very long.

  CURRIE: In the end, our interest is to annex the Punjab.

  LAWRENCE: They’ve just begun to have confidence in themselves, and now we want to take away their honour. It’s hardly fair, is it?

  HARDINGE: Mr Lawrence, political affairs are not conducted on fairness. Self-interest is the only motive.

  LAWRENCE: Annexing the Punjab at this time will not be in our interest either.

  HARDINGE: Why not?

  LAWRENCE: Because the Punjab borders Afghanistan and is too close to Russia. I don’t think we want to take on either. Least of all do I think we’re prepared for the uncivilized hordes of Central Asia. If we leave the Punjab alone, it is their problem. Thus, the Punjab serves as our cushion in India. And at the same time, we honour our promises and treaties with their leaders.

  HARDINGE: There’s somethin
g in what you say. But ‘leaders’—that’s precisely the problem. There are no leaders. With that woman there, nothing can be certain. And it will not change either. She’s schooling the boy in intrigue, and he will grow up to be no different.

  CURRIE: There’s no doubt, sir. She’s a terrible influence on the boy. We must separate her from him.

  LAWRENCE: Separate a mother from her son?

  CURRIE: Yes.

  LAWRENCE: One doesn’t do these things in India.

  CURRIE: I’ve heard she’s again involved in some intrigue against the other nobles. Things are much too unstable with her there. She will have to go, I’m afraid.

  LAWRENCE: But she’s the Regent.

  CURRIE: That can be managed. Lal Singh can be a good Regent.

  LAWRENCE: The boy detests him.

  CURRIE: The boy can always be schooled.

  LAWRENCE: How will you convince the people? She’s the wife of the late Maharaja, who was a God to his people. She’s the only symbol, besides her son, of legitimate authority.

  HARDINGE: You will have to find some excuse for the people, I suppose.

  LAWRENCE: That will not be possible, sir. We will undo all that we have achieved at a stroke.

  CURRIE: (Maliciously.) Perhaps Mr Lawrence’s persistence is a reflection of his personal relations with the Queen. And we shouldn’t press too far, sir.

  HARDINGE: What?

  CURRIE: Oh nothing, nothing really. Just that I had heard certain things which might, you know …

  LAWRENCE: (Sharply.) What have you heard?

  CURRIE: Really one needn’t go into it here. It’s rather a delicate ….

  LAWRENCE: (Firmly.) I want to go into it here.

  HARDINGE: Come on, Lawrence. It’s not necessary to go into details.

  LAWRENCE: Yes, it is.

  CURRIE: It would be in bad taste to discuss it here.

  LAWRENCE: You’d be advised to.

  HARDINGE: (Appeasingly.) Come on, Lawrence. I’m sure Currie didn’t mean any harm.

  (Lawrence moves towards Currie.)

  CURRIE: (Visibly afraid.) Sir, the man really means it.

  LAWRENCE: (Shouting.) Answer, Mr Currie.

  CURRIE: (Petrified.) Oh, nothing really. I’ve heard … I’ve heard that your relations with that woman are, you know, you know …

  LAWRENCE: I don’t know.

  CURRIE: (Meekly.) You know, rather advanced.

  LAWRENCE: Who told you?

  CURRIE: I won’t say.

  LAWRENCE: You won’t?

  (And he advances on Currie, who tries to dodge him.)

  CURRIE: (Pleading.) Sir, the man’s mad. Elliot, call someone.

  LAWRENCE: (Coolly.) Rest assured Mr Currie, I’m not mad. But for your sake, you’d better answer.

  CURRIE: (Reluctantly.) It was Lal Singh.

  HARDINGE: Who?

  LAWRENCE: The Wazir. He’s Mr Currie’s spy, and a former lover of the Queen Mother.

  HARDINGE: So he’s jealous of her. Now Lawrence, there’s no need to go any further. Currie, I want a complete report on your associations with this man. I need hardly say, Currie, that this reflects rather badly on you.

  ELLIOT: In fairness to Mr Lawrence, sir, Mr Currie should withdraw his remark.

  CURRIE: (Still scared.) I withdraw my remark.

  HARDINGE: Was there anything more we needed to discuss with Lawrence?

  CURRIE: (Very softly.) Yes sir.

  HARDINGE: Speak up, man.

  CURRIE: (Softly.) Yes sir.

  HARDINGE: Speak up. Have you lost your voice?

  CURRIE: If we could discuss it another time, sir.

  HARDINGE: Let’s hear it now.

  CURRIE: The jewel, sir.

  HARDINGE: Yes, yes, Lawrence. I want that jewel. I’m afraid the Directors have promised it to Her Majesty. It’s to form a part of the Crown jewels in London.

  LAWRENCE: That won’t be possible, sir. The jewel isn’t mine. It belongs to the Rani and the Maharaja’s family. It was only loaned to me as a symbol of her faith in us.

  HARDINGE: I’m afraid I must have it.

  LAWRENCE: I’m sorry, sir.

  HARDINGE: Well, well. We can talk about it later.

  (Pause.)

  What’s next, Currie?

  CURRIE: Nothing, sir.

  HARDINGE: Elliot?

  ELLIOT: Nothing more, sir. Except, I feel, we owe Mr Lawrence our congratulations. In no part of India is there so much popular sentiment in our favour. It’s all due to him. He’s a hero there, sir.

  (Goes up to Lawrence and shakes his hand.)

  Congratulations, Mr Lawrence. I’m going back home on furlough, and I’ll tell the family that I had the honour of shaking hands with you.

  HARDINGE: What about you, Currie?

  CURRIE: No thanks, sir.

  HARDINGE: Come on, Lawrence. Have dinner with me. (They turn to leave.)

  Tell me more about this jewel. What do they call it?

  LAWRENCE: (With a swagger.) The Koh-i-noor, sir.

  (Exit Hardinge with Lawrence.)

  Act Three Scene 2

  Lahore. A week later. Lawrence sits troubled in one corner of the Diwan-e-Khas. It is early, and the courtiers have not yet arrived for the Royal Darbar. He is wearing Ranjit Singh’s jewel and chogah. Other parts of the Lion’s dress, including a turban, are nearby. The mental transference is nearly complete.

  HARDINGE’S VOICE: (Off.) I know it’s a delicate matter. India’s a delicate matter. Don’t forget gentlemen, we’re the greatest power on this earth today. Everything we do is a delicate matter.

  LAWRENCE: (Angrily.) No!

  (Long pause. Anger on Lawrence’s face turns to pain. He gets up, paces the room then sits down and covers his face with his hands, letting out a soft moan. Continues to brood. Quickly gets up again, and paces the room more furiously. He goes to the window on the left. Resists a temptation to break it. Returns.)

  Oh no! Damn it, no!

  CURRIE’S VOICE: (Off.) There’s no doubt, sir. She’s a terrible influence on the boy. We must, separate her …

  (Pause.)

  Things are much too unstable with her there. She will have to go, I’m afraid.

  LAWRENCE: (In agony.) Oh God! What are they doing? What are they doing to me?

  (Suddenly gets up in anger. Goes to window, and breaks it. Blood begins to run from his hand. He tries to wipe it off with the chogah, but only stains the robe. Enter Sher Singh. Lawrence quickly hides his bleeding hand.)

  SHER SINGH: What is the Resident Sahib doing in here so early? Everyone is looking for him. (Suddenly sees his hand.)

  Larins, you’re bleeding! What have you done to yourself?

  LAWRENCE: (Shouting.) Leave me alone!

  SHER SINGH: (Trying to help him with his hand.) Tch, tch, Larins, you shouldn’t go about spilling good English blood.

  LAWRENCE: Leave me alone.

  SHER SINGH: (Humouring him.) Come on, Larins …

  LAWRENCE: (Interrupting.) And call me the ‘Angrez Badshah’!

  SHER SINGH: (Humouring him.) All right, ‘Angrez Badshah.’ Now come on, Larins, we have to dress your hand before the Darbar.

  LAWRENCE: (Shouting.) Call me the Angrez Badshah!

  SHER SINGH: Wah Guru! You really mean that! Look at your eyes.

  (Lawrence goes to the side and inspects his eyes in a mirror.)

  LAWRENCE: (Coolly.) Of course I mean it.

  (Pause.)

  Now dress me!

  SHER SINGH: (Shocked.) What!

  LAWRENCE: (Calmly.) Help me with those things.

  SHER SINGH: The Maharaja’s …

  LAWRENCE: (Interrupting.) Yes.

  SHER SINGH: No!

  LAWRENCE: Yes.

  SHER SINGH: (Panicky.) Larins, what’s the matter?

  LAWRENCE: (Shouting.) Call me the Angrez Badshah!

  SHER SINGH: (Sadly.) Let’s go back to the Residency.

  LAWRENCE: (Calmly.) If you won’t dress me, I shall do so m
yself.

  (Begins to dress himself in the Lion’s ornaments slowly and deliberately. Finally he puts the turban on his head, very carefully. Sher Singh looks on, disappointed and helpless. Lawrence goes in front of the mirror, looks admiringly at himself, and shouts ‘Angrez Badshah.’ White spotlight on his glowing face as other lights fade.)

  LAWRENCE: Angrez Badshah! Angrez Badshah!

  (Puts his hand with the diamond condescendingly before him.)

  Bow down to the Angrez Badshah! Bow down, you Lal Singhs and Tej Singhs. You can kiss the jewel. The Punjab is mine, as surely as the Koh-i-noor is mine.

  Where is my Rani? In the harem, is she? So much the better.

  Where is my son? Asleep. Let him sleep. He needs his sleep.

  The tribes are restless? We shall teach the tribes. They are dealing with a great Badshah of a great land. Let’s go on to battle. The Lion has come.

  (He yells.) Arhh!

  (Light fades.)

  Act Three Scene 3

  The same. A few minutes later. Full lights on Diwan-e-Khas. A chaotic, noisy, but splendid assembly of Hindu, Sikh and Muslim nobles. His Highness Dalip Singh sits in the centre on a throne. Rani and Lal Singh sit on the divan nearby. Others are on the floor. Lawrence standing between the throne and the divan, is finishing his speech to the Court.

  LAWRENCE: And finally I want to thank His Highness and the noble Darbar for listening to me so patiently. Please be assured that the British Government will try to act to the mutual advantage of both the Punjab and the Company. Our policy on land revenue is one example.

  Our policy on the Frontier is another. My apologies to the Wazir Sahib again. It was truly an unfortunate incident—a misunderstanding, which resulted in a hasty arrest.

  COURTIER: Don’t let it be repeated.

  SECOND COURTIER: What about the Wazir’s plot against His Highness?

  CROWD: Yes, yes. What about the plot against the government?

  LAWRENCE: The Wazir has already rendered apologies to the government for his indiscretions.

  SECOND COURTIER: Has the government accepted?

  LAL SINGH: (Getting up.) Of course they have accepted.

  CROWD: No, no. We want the Wazir to apologize.

  LAL SINGH: Shut up, you pigs.

  CROWD: No, no.

  LAWRENCE: I think you’d better apologize, Lal Singh.

  LAL SINGH: (Condescendingly.) I apologize.

  LAWRENCE: Is the Darbar satisfied?