Learning to Live: An Enemy to Lovers Ugly Cry (The Infinite Love Series, Book 1)

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Learning to Live: An Enemy to Lovers Ugly Cry (The Infinite Love Series, Book 1) Page 9

by Kira Adams


  I couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks anymore. There’s no one left at this school I even like hanging out with. Plus, I do what I want. “You really think I care about all of that?”

  She looks surprised. “You used to.”

  “How would you know? You don’t know anything about me.” I don’t mean it to come off rudely, but it does, and before I can take it back, her facial expression reads hurt.

  She goes to stand up, but I stop her.

  “I’m sorry. I’m not good at making new friends.”

  She stops, staring me down with her sapphire eyes. “That’s obvious, but who said anything about being friends?”

  I know Mack told me to stay far away from her, but I can’t. She’s been on my mind for one reason or another for a while now. I’m starting to regret the hell I know my friends and I put her through.

  “Look,” I say softly. “I know we haven’t really hung out before and I know we run with completely different crowds, but that doesn’t mean we can’t call a truce.”

  She stares back at me. “Good luck with that. Just because you and I call a truce doesn’t mean all your old minions do too. It seems like they aren’t taking orders from you these days.”

  She’s right. I used to be able to control my friends with very little effort. But since Joe and Sophia took their relationship public, they’ve been defiant on all fronts. They do what they want, when they want, and for some reason, they both have a sick fascination with Ciera. “What happened between you and Sophia?”

  Her mouth opens, and then she quickly shuts it. She turns her face away from mine and stares off down the hall. “We used to be best friends back in elementary school, all the way up until middle school, until Alyssa swooped in and convinced her I was nothing, a nobody. That I was gross, and that having no money meant you were disgusting and unworthy.”

  I can’t help but feel for what Ciera has gone through.

  “They’ve made my life a living hell ever since. You and Joe joined in somewhere around middle school, and the rest is history. I’ve never gone this long without being shoved into a locker or getting my head dumped into a toilet bowl. When I do, it’s normally because there is something in the works much more sinister than all of that. I know you want to call a truce, but you can’t really blame me for not trusting you...can you?”

  I never realized I had such an impact on this one person’s life. I wonder how many other people feel the same way but have never felt comfortable enough to verbalize it to me.

  “You want a ride after school?” I offer. It’s not much…but it’s a starting point.

  She stares back at me like I have two heads.

  “I’m trying to start somewhere. I know I won’t be able to make up for everything within the short amount of time we’ve spent together, but I’d like to begin trying.”

  Ciera tucks some of her blond hair behind her ear. “Why does it even matter? We’re not friends…remember?”

  I sigh. “But I’d like to be.” It’s strange to say it out loud, but it is true. There is something about her that I can’t put my finger on. Ciera has gotten under my skin, and as strange as it may seem, I’m okay with that.

  Ciera stands quickly. “I should get back—Ms. Toole is probably wondering where I ran off to.”

  I nod, standing as well. I’m going to hit up the bathroom before I head back. “You want a ride home today?”

  She shakes her head, smiling slightly. “You’re not going to give up, are you?”

  I crack a smile. “I just want to be friends, Ciera. I promise I have no ulterior motive.”

  “You know, if we are actually going to pursue a friendship, I’m going to need something from you,” she says.

  “Anything.”

  “I’m going to need you to stop pretending I don’t exist and then acknowledging me when it’s convenient for you. If we’re friends, we are friends all the time, not just some of the time.”

  I nod. “I can do that.”

  I’m not sure why it matters to me so much, but when she walks away, I feel excitement wash over me.

  Finally a change from the mundane. Something to shake up the ordinary. Bring it on, universe.

  14

  I have no idea what has gotten into Topher, much less me. I have no idea why I agree to allow him to drive me home. The only thing I can assume is that he feels protective over me after the other day, but again, it’s confusing why he suddenly wants to treat me with respect. In the back of my mind, the possibility that this is all just a cruel joke lingers. I wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe it’s a setup for a bigger dis…who knows.

  But I’m working on embracing change. I only have so much time left, and I want to be able to experience as much as possible between now and spring.

  I spot Mack on my way out of school, and we end up walking out the doors together. I don’t know why he’s at the school so late, but I’m sure it has something to do with the school newspaper, which he is the editor of.

  “How are you feeling?” he asks, eyeing me up and down.

  I shield my face from the sun then look back at him. “I’m okay. I have this lingering headache I can’t seem to get rid of for the life of me, but other than that, I’m doing fine.”

  “Do you want a ride home?” he asks.

  Although we’ve been friends for quite a while, he’s never offered before. I wonder if he too is feeling overly protective.

  I can see Topher’s brown hair making its way toward us and notice Mack’s expression turn into a scowl.

  “What are you doing with him?” he asks aggressively before Topher is within earshot.

  I shrug. “I don’t know, but he was there the other day, and he’s been looking out for me ever since. He is giving me a ride home.”

  Mack turns his glare on Topher. “Since when has the A-Team ever had your best interests at heart? Answer me that.”

  I sigh loudly. Unfortunately, he’s right.

  “Remember that time freshman year when Topher and his buddies targeted you in dodgeball and knocked you out? Or what about the time when they tricked you into thinking Dylan was going to ask you to homecoming? Or even last year, when they spread that vicious Facebook rumor about you having HIV? Are you really going to trust someone like him?”

  Topher is now within earshot, and although he hasn’t heard our entire conversation, I can’t ignore what Mack has pointed out. “You’re right,” I reply. “I have no reason to trust him, or the rest of the A-Team for that matter, but if I’m going to be played, at least it’s on my own terms.”

  Mack rolls his eyes then huffs.

  “Hey,” Topher says softly. “You ready to go?”

  Mack turns his attention directly to Topher. “I thought we had an understanding.”

  Topher steals a quick glance at me and then looks at Mack. “We do, but things have changed.”

  “Oh really.” Mack’s voice drips with sarcasm. “How so?”

  I don’t really know what they’re referring to, but I am proud of Mack. This is the first time I’ve ever seen him stand up to an A-Team member.

  “What are you guys talking about?” I ask, and both guys turn their eyes on me.

  “Nothing,” they say in unison.

  “Okay…” I let out an exaggerated sigh.

  “Wait, shouldn’t you guys be in detention?” Mack addresses the question to me.

  Yes, technically we should. I nod. “Yeah, but it was shortened due to good behavior.” In all honesty, I think Ms. Toole was just sick of having to stay the extra couple of hours every day, so she let us all off the hook. We are lucky enough to get out an hour early tonight.

  “You ready to go?” Topher asks me.

  I nod, hoisting my backpack higher up. “See you tomorrow.”

  Mack continues to stare back at me with a look of concern. “Think about what I said. You know I’m right.”

  I nod again, remaining silent as I follow Topher out to a car I don’t recognize. “Where’
s your Porsche?” I ask as he unlocks the doors to a sleek-looking silver BMW.

  “It wasn’t mine,” he answers as we climb in.

  The new car has as all-black interior and screams money. “Who’s was it?”

  “A loaner. My dad owns a couple of car lots, and I get my pick of the litter anytime new arrivals come in.”

  “Must be a hard life,” I joke, settling my backpack at my feet.

  Topher reaches past me, and as he does, his hand brushes up against my knee, sending shivers down my spine. He grabs the strap of my backpack and tosses it into the back seat. “There, that should give you more room.”

  “Thanks,” I say quietly. I’ve never felt anything like the feeling coursing through me. It’s foreign, exciting, and oh so wrong. I wonder if he felt it too, or if I am completely alone.

  I sneak a peek at his face, and it looks handsome as always. Topher has always been one of the most elite members of the A-Team. He oozes money and sex. He always has. In a way, I understand why Mack is so protective. A few months ago, Topher wouldn’t have been caught dead being seen with me. Now he’s offering me rides home. Funny how much has changed.

  “Want to tell me what that was about back there?” I say, eyeing him intently.

  “What?” he asks, as if he’s completely clueless.

  “Back there, you and Mack—he mentioned some agreement you two made, and it sure as hell seemed like it had to do with me.” I don’t know what in the world they could have been discussing or agreeing on, but I’m interested to know.

  He shrugs. “It’s nothing.”

  “That didn’t seem like nothing,” I say.

  “It’s really not my place. That is something you should talk with Mack about.” Topher glances at me and then back out the windshield.

  I look out his window at our peers standing outside the school. All eyes are on us as we exit the school grounds. I can only imagine the rumors that will be swirling around next week.

  “What are you thinking about?” Topher asks as we pull out onto the main road.

  “That if you want to start this friendship off right, honesty is probably the best route to take right now.” I know it’s not exactly fair to guilt him into telling me, but I think it’s working.

  He stares out the windshield, his lips in a tight line. “He doesn’t want me hanging around you.”

  I giggle. “I don’t blame him. He’s been there through everything. He’s witnessed it all and even been a victim of some of stunts the A-Team has pulled.”

  “The A-Team?” Topher asks curiously.

  Oh, right. He doesn’t know that’s our secret name for the popular jocks in our school.

  “Yeah.” I shrug. “You, Sophia, Joe, Alyssa, Madalynne, Parker…” I trail off, hoping he gets the point.

  “You call us the A-Team? How come I have never heard this before?”

  I stare out the side window. “It’s a nickname Mack and I made up a couple of years ago.”

  Topher nods. “I’m guessing it’s not a term of endearment?”

  I shake my head. “Nope.”

  He coughs. “Great.”

  “Can you blame me?” I ask. “We don’t really run in the same circles.”

  “I know that.”

  “So then why are you so adamant about playing nice now? After all these years?” I guess now is as good a time as any to get the answers I’ve been pondering.

  He sighs. “I thought we already established my reasoning.”

  “You said you want to be friends, but that doesn’t explain the change of heart, why it matters to you.”

  As he pulls onto the freeway, I begin to realize he is not headed toward my apartment. “Where are you taking me?”

  He steals a quick glance at me then gazes back at the road in front of him. “Well, I figured we have a couple of hours to kill. You don’t mind, do you?”

  Yes. I do. Luckily, I haven’t been able to tell my work yet, so my shifts are still covered, but I can’t hide the fact that I am intrigued by his actions.

  “Look, I’ve been an asshole. I’m aware of that. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but I want to be able to look back on my life and be proud of the choices I made, not ashamed. I know one lousy ride home won’t do that, but it’s a starting point.”

  I look over at him and can’t help but smile.

  “I’m just one person. Don’t you think you have a lot more people to apologize to?”

  He nods. “I have a laundry list, but you were the most accessible, so I’m starting with that.”

  I settle back into my seat, satisfied with his answer. Ten minutes later, we pull into a driveway in front of the biggest house I have ever seen in my life. I scoot forward in my seat to get a better look.

  The house looks like a mini version of the White House. It’s white with multiple pillars and windows. The grass is green and immaculate, and I can only imagine what the interior looks like. “What are we doing here?” I ask.

  He parks the car, unbuckling. “It’s my house. I figured we could hang out here for a bit.”

  I’m surprised he trusts me enough to show me where he lives, much less let me inside. I climb out of the BMW, leaving my backpack behind, and follow him through the front door. The first thing I notice are the sleek marble floors and a huge, expensive-looking chandelier dangling in the entryway. There is a spiral staircase that reminds me of the one from Titanic, and it’s obvious money was no object when it came to their home.

  I let out a surprised gasp as he closes the door behind us. “It’s really not that impressive.”

  I roll my eyes at him. “You have to say that—you’ve lived like this your entire life. My apartment could fit in your bathroom, I’m sure.”

  He chuckles. “Fair enough.” He motions with his head through the entryway. “Come on.”

  I follow him through an assortment of hallways and expensive-looking rooms then down a staircase. It leads to a pair of white sliding doors. He tosses them open and then flicks on a light switch.

  The room contains a foosball table, an air hockey table, the biggest flat-screen TV I’ve ever seen in my life, a pool table, and a few arcade games in the corner. Of course he has his own game room.

  “Why am I not surprised?” I ask, my eyes darting around at everything in front of me.

  He chuckles. “I haven’t been down here in a really long time. I forgot how cool it is.”

  Must be nice to have anything you could ever want at your fingertips. Amazing cars, ridiculous house, game room…

  “Well, what is exciting to other people probably doesn’t excite you,” I state as I slide my fingers over the wood of the pool table.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because you have everything you could ever want.” I look around in an attempt to make my point.

  His smile turns into a frown. “Just because we’re financially stable doesn’t mean I have it easy. There is a lot you don’t know about me.”

  I ponder his statement. I know money isn’t everything, but I can tell you it is the solution to the majority of my problems.

  “So, are we going to battle it out?” I ask.

  He raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Yeah. What’s your game of choice?”

  I look between all the different options. “I’m down for some air hockey.”

  He breaks out into a wide grin and then struts over to the table, turning the power on. “You’re in trouble. I’m the air hockey king.”

  I shake my head dismissively at his comment. He has no idea how badly I am going to school him.

  An hour and a half later, after we have attacked the game room with a vengeance, we hear what sounds like the garage door opening.

  Topher sticks his ear up in the air. “My dad is home early tonight.”

  It’s nearing five and I should probably be going anyway. I stand and slip my hoodie back on.

  The garage door, which is located on the same floor we are on, opens, and a chorus of footste
ps rings out. Topher’s face contorts into an ugly expression before he races out of the room.

  “Topher,” I hear a gentleman’s voice say. “I didn’t think you were going to be home until later…”

  Someone clears their throat, and I stay deathly quiet. I’m not exactly sure what is going on, but I know it has nothing to do with me.

  “My detention was cut short.” I barely recognize Topher’s voice. It seems stiff and clipped.

  I can feel the tension piercing the air, and I’m growing more uncomfortable by the moment. I could slip out, but my damn backpack is in the back of Topher’s car!

  “I’m sorry, Topher. I didn’t know.” The gentleman apologizes.

  I hear footsteps making their way back toward the game room then a third voice cuts through the air. “I’m not.”

  The footsteps stop abruptly.

  “Clarke?”

  “What do you want me to do? Apologize like you?” The third male voice asks. “We’ve been doing that for weeks now, walking around on eggshells. This is your house, for God’s sake! I’m tired of having to sneak around, especially now that the cat is out of the bag.”

  I’m still not exactly sure what I’m overhearing, but something tells me this is a private conversation. I cross my arms over my chest awkwardly. It’s not as if I’m going out of my way to eavesdrop.

  “Classy, Dad. Take your boyfriend’s side over your own flesh and blood,” Topher spits out, and then I hear footsteps pounding the marble flooring back to the room I’m in. My heartbeat begins to speed up as I realize the gravity of what I’ve just heard.

  Topher rounds the corner and glares down at me. “Come on, I’m taking you home.”

  I jump up quickly and follow him out. We manage to not cross paths with the other two in the process of making it outside, and I am thankful for that. I know I was not supposed to hear that conversation, and I don’t want to deal with any more drama.

  Topher doesn’t say a word to me as he unlocks the doors, and we climb in. In fact, we ride almost the entire way to my apartment in complete silence. He avoids all eye contact with me, and I’m starting to think he may be upset with me for what I overheard.

 

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