Little Doll: Queens of Chaos 1

by L. J. Findlay

  The ensuing days were a blur of organisation as we had the hugely important event in the Tower coming up on Friday and there was still lots to do. It was a relief in a way, it allowed me to focus on something else other than my fucked up private life and mercifully the days slid by. The girls and I didn’t discuss how I would be able to keep Blaise. I think Gemma was secretly hoping I would drop it. Regardless, lack of discussion about the situation was a relief. I didn’t want a reminder of how impotent I was in the situation.

  It was only the evening before that I learnt the event we were planning was a fundraiser for the incumbent Prime Minister. Isadora’s father’s party. As a guest, it was Xander who had let me know about this as Maxine had decided to throw me in the deep end, despite the fact she knew my parents, as friends of Marcus’, would be there. Forewarned is forearmed but clearly she thought that was a trivial detail. More important to humiliate me rather than to give me an opportunity to duck out of serving the party. Fuck her. It wasn’t that I minded waiting, it was more that I didn’t want to do it while Isadora was peacocking around as Blaise’s fiancée.

  It also would give Xander further ammunition for me to stop work. He had been gunning for this ever since we graduated but even in a hellish environment like Mint Catering & Events, I wanted to make my own way. Have some independence. If he controlled the purse strings, he would control me entirely. Use his money to choose who I could and could not see. Cut Noelle out of my life essentially. Gemma would be fine because she was docile. As he liked all his women to be. Sweet and simpering.

  They didn’t understand why I had rekindled our relationship. I had given some vague excuse about how we were just working through issues. Noelle understood how easy it would be for either Xander or our families to lock me up. Gemma less so. She knew he was controlling but she didn’t understand why I couldn’t just cut them all off. Sweet, naïve child didn’t understand it wasn’t so easy. I also hadn’t told either of them that I had only done it to get into the engagement party because, although they were happy to help me win Blaise back, I think both were relieved when the topic of our mission hadn’t been broached this week.

  As I was making my way to the kitchen, I remembered their disappointment when I was going for supper with him on Thursday. I remembered the excruciating discussion about tonight’s party…

  * * *

  “The party is tomorrow. I can’t believe you didn’t click that it was for Marcus’ fundraiser, little doll,” Xander said, caressing my hand.

  I swallowed down my frustration with a large gulp of the Cote de Rhone Xander had chosen. “Like I said, Xan, I wasn’t told about this.”

  Xander laughed, “Oh I don’t believe that. I had a chance to chat with Jaz at the party last weekend and she was so lovely. I can’t see her doing anything so underhand. She did explain that you needed to learn about the responsibilities of work after your little jaunt in Paris,” he sighed at me. “Little doll, you just need to learn sometimes that work isn’t a game, it’s real life.”

  I wanted to slap him. Sometimes I wished I hadn’t broken up with him and had stayed in blissful naivety about how he treated me. Hopefully, reincarnation was a thing so I would hopefully get a second chance at happiness in a second life. I smiled tightly, my public persona firmly in place and said, “Must have been me then.” I laughed airily as though I was just being ditzy.

  Xander smiled patronisingly at me. “This is why I think you really need to refocus your energies, little doll. Cook for our family rather than the indignation of having to serve your family and friends at a public event.” He paused for effect. “Indeed, I was rather inclined to have a word with your boss, who is it? Maxine? Anyway, it is a bad look for me if my girlfriend is serving the party and not on my arm, you understand?”

  I nodded meekly. “Of course. I guess it is all a miscommunication.” He smiled and I redirected the conversation to safer waters. “So, Xan, what do you have planned for this weekend?”

  * * *

  I was jolted out of my memory by Maxine’s harsh, grating voice. “Xanthe. Xanthe. I need you to come right away.”

  Trailing after her, icy dread coiled in my stomach. I had done something. Or Jaz and India had done something. Regardless, I was in for a telling-off. “Is everything okay, Maxine?” I asked.

  “Of course. For once, this has gone without a hitch. Anyway, I am more concerned about your performance tonight. Your mother and I agree that this will be an apt lesson after your misdemeanour the other day and it will be good practise to manage a kitchen.” She sneered at this. “Of course, we know that this is all a game, isn’t it? I did your mother such a favour in letting you work for me, knowing as she does, all the blood, sweat, and tears I poured into my company.” She looked at me expectantly.

  I was lost. “What do you mean Maxine?”

  She scowled at me like I was stupid. Fuck her. “I had an enlightening conversation with your boyfriend, Xander, who looks set to transition from the City to the government in a decade or so. I have no idea how such an aspiring young man has ended up with such a hopeless case as you. But anyway, it’s clear that once married you won’t be working anymore and this is all something to get out of your system, yes?”

  I gaped at her. Astonished, angry at him and at her for her presumption. How fucking dare she? I wanted to be shocked at Xander but I had been expecting his interference from Thursday, I just stupidly hoped he wouldn’t do anything. “Rest assured, I am taking this very seriously.” I managed to get out, my voice tight.

  She considered me before saying, “You better. This is the event of the year for Mint Catering & Events and I don’t care who you are or who you know. If you mess this up you will pay for it.” On that, she turned on her heel and stormed down the corridor.

  I headed back to the kitchen and smoothed down my white shirt and black skirt before picking up a tray of mini Yorkshire puddings with roast beef and horseradish and heading down the corridor. The thrum of voices growing louder on my approach matched the rising anxiety thrumming in my veins and I hovered outside the main hall in the Medieval Palace. India was standing outside, speaking impatiently into a microphone, dressed in a sharp suit with her hair done in a French plait.

  She noticed me hovering and snapped out. “What is the matter?”

  “Nothing.” I said, not moving.

  She sighed in exasperation, opening the door. “You will go out there and you will behave. I don’t care if this is humiliating, it’s a lesson. You should have behaved but you didn’t and now you will have to pay. It will be more humiliating for Jaz’s friend Isadora if you mess up. This is her and Blaise’s first public engagement and I don’t want you to ruin it because of your self-obsession. If you do, Jaz will be upset, Maxine will be upset, Isadora will be upset, and all because you acted like some child. Go out there and act like an adult.” I pushed through the door and India called after me, “And for heaven’s sake, don’t drop the canapés.”

  My cheeks burned from embarrassment and I ducked my head, weaving through the crowd and handing out the canapés. I was just relieved that I had been spared from holding the champagne trays at the entrance to the room. Not only was it heavy but people would have more of an opportunity to speak to me and I just wanted to get through this evening.

  I thought I had managed my first round quite successfully and as I was pushing through the door to go fetch something else, I felt an arm wrap around my waist and pull me into a closet just along the corridor. I knew it was Blaise from the familiar scent and tensed up as my eyes adjusted to him, incongruous in the small cleaning closet in his black tie.

  “Xanthe,” he breathed out, looking at me. “What are you doing here?”

  “Working,” I said weakly.

  “Clearly,” Blaise said. “But why this party?”

  I sighed. “As a lesson for missing Monday and not giving Maxine enough warning. Her company, Mint Catering & Events, has organised this fundraiser and had I known about it prior to
Xander telling me last night then I would have tried to avoid it. As is, they don’t tell me anything and here I am. Also,” I continued in anger, jabbing his chest with my finger. “I would have fucking told you if you ever bothered to communicate with me but, as is, you clearly just like to leave me in the dark.”

  “And like I said it’s too dangerous for you to message me in case anyone finds out,” Blaise said, regretful longing dripping from his words.

  “Well then clearly we need to speed up the timeline,” I spat out in frustration.

  Blaise stared at me in the dim room, confusion written over his face. “What is the hurry? It’s like I said, we can’t without the money. Sure, Xander seems to be obsessed with you but can’t you just break up with him? Leave this job? Get something that will give you independence?”

  I wanted to scream at him. How the fuck did he not understand either? “Well his ultimate dream is to lock me up in his doll’s house and ever since I came back from Paris I’ve learnt that our families wholeheartedly support this. I can get any job I want but I can’t guarantee that it’ll be sabotaged in some way. Why else am I working here? Because everywhere else I decided was fucking vetoed!”

  “Fuck.” He hit the wall behind us in anger, breathing deeply. “So what you’re telling me, what you failed to tell me before we went down this mad path, is that Xander will stop at nothing to have you? That I’ve fallen fucking head over heels for the most unavailable girl on the planet?” I stared at him, unable to talk to him, terrified he was just going to leave me. I wasn’t sure if I’d survive that. He cursed. “Fuck this. We should have stayed well away from each other because we are both in separate gilded cages.”

  “Shhh, shhh.” I pressed my hand against his cheek. “No. You are not giving up on me. On us.”

  “Well, I don’t think we really have a choice, darling.”

  “Fight for us, fight for me. Please, Blaise.” I clung to him, trying to stop the tears from falling.

  Silence. Painful silence stretched taut between us. I could scarcely breathe but eventually he tipped his forehead against mine, his warm breath fanning out over my face. “I will never leave you, darling. We are in this together.”

  Finally. The affirmation I craved. I pressed a kiss to his lips and he chuckled, walking me to the wall and pinning my hands above my head before requesting access with his tongue. I arched my body back and opened up to him, seeking comfort in our mingled taste and essence. Seeking comfort in how he controlled the situation, scorching my very being with desire. I moaned as he used his other hand to run over my body, grip my arse tightly, pressing me against him. His length pressed hard against my stomach, as if we could fuse our bodies into one.

  Reluctantly I pulled back, my chest heaving and desire pulsing through my body. “Blaise,” I breathed out, rubbing my body against his. The electricity that had sparked between us from when we first met crackled between us, addictive, making us entirely subject to it. I wanted nothing more than for him to have me in this cupboard but that would be too risky.

  “As much as I’d like to continue this, I know that you have to go and so do I. Which reminds me,” he added, his tone going deathly serious. “Any show of affection this evening for Isadora is just that. A show. We all have to play our part in this sordid farce. You dance for your captor, I’ll dance for mine.”

  I swallowed and nodded, “I know. I know. I’ll see you later.” I pressed a kiss to his lips and slid out from under him, feeling marginally more reassured but still like I had the scarcest grasp on the situation.

  I was too preoccupied to check the corridor and bumped straight into India who looked just as surprised to see me. “Xanthe? What on earth were you doing in there?”

  I smiled weakly, hoping that she didn’t notice that my hair was dishevelled from our little dalliance, and pretended to be the naïve fool she often took me for. “Just got lost, India. Sorry. Was looking for a bathroom and that clearly wasn’t it.”

  “Whatever. Go to the kitchen, now.”

  I scurried off, breathing a sigh of relief at my temporary reprieve and took the plate of smoked salmon blinis with caviar and re-entered the party. I ducked past the crowds to head out to the Wall Walk, needing some fresh air to re-centre myself. Sadly, any hope I had soon dissipated when I saw Isadora holding court with Jaz and some of our friends from childhood, Mina and Aria. She looked for all the world like a queen with the vista of the Thames and Tower Bridge in the background and the girls fanned around her like courtiers. I sighed. The scene was all too reminiscent of childhood parties. Clearly it had continued and was still her favourite personality replacer.

  I tried to slip back inside but Jaz had seen me, a malevolent glint in her eye. “Xanthe! There you are!” she exclaimed before turning back to the others. “We have the most divine caterers and they do such delicious smoked salmon blinis.”

  I walked reluctantly over and held them out for the others. Isadora looked at me with smug satisfaction, hand out on the balustrade so as best to show off the monstrous ring glinting in the sun. “Xanthe, dear. Is this what you call being a successful cook?”

  I swallowed down my anger as the other girls tittered around her and answered politely. “It’s all about experience really. I’m happy to work my way up because I think it’s great to want to have an ambition and to actually do something more meaningful than just be Xander’s wife.”

  Isadora flushed red with anger. The others regarded me like I was some disgusting insect for insulting their queen. I had never really liked her friends. They were all stuck-up, self-obsessed, and frankly quite beige in the nice girl sense of the word. The older I got, the less I cared about being excluded.

  “God, you really are naïve, aren’t you?” She snapped. “As if we have a choice. As if Xander will give you a choice after your reckless weekend with my fiancé. I was going to invite you to the after-party as a sign of our friendship, but I just don’t think you can be trusted.”

  Jaz nodded at that, glaring at me. “Don’t ask her. I’m surprised that she hasn’t already ruined this party, but then I guess she wouldn’t want to ruin Mummy and Daddy’s precious opinion of her.” She laughed. “Also, smile and be gracious at the opportunity. Phoebe certainly is.”

  I was dismissed and I walked off, tears threatening to appear in my eyes. Of course Phoebe was waiting at this party with stars in her eyes. For her it was oh so cool to be with such important people. Little did she know they were venomous snakes with fucked up agendas.

  Just as I thought that I was safe and I could get through the rest of the party, I bumped into a tall man with navy eyes the exact shade as Blaise, who was in conversation with a tall, willowy blonde dressed in a stunning, silver gown. “Excuse me. Smoked salmon blini?” I asked, my eyes cast subserviently.

  The blonde lady exclaimed, “Oh how delicious! The caviar reminds me of home. Do try one, Elliott.” She picked one up with elegant fingers and fed it to the man, Elliott, I presumed, who opened his mouth obediently but his gaze never left mine.

  “Delicious, Elena. We must arrange a trip to Moscow soon. It’s been too long since we’ve seen your family.”

  She cooed in excitement, “That would be lovely!”

  He pulled her in for an embrace, turning his attention to her and kissing her lips softly. “Now, how about you go and speak with Isadora.” He gestured as she entered on the right side. “It would be so good to get to know your future sister-in-law.”

  Elena kissed him once more before weaving her way gracefully through the party. Elliott, refocused his attention on me. I had finally come face-to-face with a real monster. Something told me that he wouldn’t be as forgiving as the others.

  “I assume that you are Xanthe? Just as lovely as I’ve heard,” he mused, his tone cold and his smile stretched into a shark’s grin. “The Queen of Hearts, some might say.” He chuckled at that, his laugh as cold as his smile.

  I didn’t even want to think about the discussions I might have s
tarred in so I aimed for innocence. “You guessed right. I assume you are Blaise’s brother?”

  “I am. His older brother. Funny how one’s perspective changes in five short years, don’t you think, hm?” Before I had a chance to answer he continued swiftly. “Now, I know we are not well-acquainted but I just wanted to have a little chat about the folly of young love. It has come to my attention that my little brother is being quite petulant about his little arrangement and I believe the issue to be you. Now, how do you plead?”

  “Not guilty, sir,” I joked, laughing.

  He glared at me, making me recoil under its ferocity, before whispering in a rapid, murderous voice. “This is not a joke. You both are clearly as foolish as each other if you think you will get away with this. I have eyes everywhere. This is too serious of a matter for The Club for anything to jeopardise it. I have assessed every risk and I have arranged a plan to quash it. It would be as easy as squashing a pesky fly.” He paused, letting the words sink in. “Is that quite clear?”

  “Crystal,” I said, my heart beating fast. Two death threats so far this week, I really was building the tally up, I thought, trying to mask the fast-rising panic. Not once had I considered that this pursuit might be fatal. I truly was a fool. I thought I had the measure of everything but they were turning out to be more deadly than I had anticipated.

  “Brother.” Blaise’s voice floated from behind Elliott who turned to smile at him. “Is everything quite alright?”

  “I think so. I think that we’re all on the same page. I was just telling this delightful waitress how delicious the canapés are. Do try one, brother.” I held the tray out to Blaise who accepted one, holding my gaze as if to assess what his brother had said but his attention was drawn back to his brother. “She’s quite lovely, isn’t she?”