Leashes & Lace Books 1-3: MM Romance Boxed Set

by Shaw Montgomery

  It could’ve meant that at any moment he was going to fix me up with his gay BFF.

  That one hadn’t happened to me, but it had happened to one of the other models a couple of weeks ago. So I was prepared for anything.

  Wilder’s smile widened, and for just a moment, I thought I saw desire in his eyes before the barista called out his name, breaking the spell. The heat faded as Wilder stood up, but the way he watched me still had my insides whirling.

  As he walked over to the counter, I watched his long stride and wide shoulders and wondered what was going on. Fantasy men didn’t just show up asking you for coffee. It didn’t matter how polite they were to strangers or how cute they looked reading Harry Potter. It just didn’t happen.

  But it was happening. At least on some level.

  Part of me wanted to poke him and make sure he was real. And not just to feel up his muscles. No matter what Eli would probably say. Was there a reasonable way to ask what was going on without looking pathetic? Would it be normal to ask him where he stood on his orientation?

  I didn’t want to seem ridiculous. I also didn’t want to look like I had no self-esteem or was trying to play up that whole I don’t know I’m cute routine. I just honestly wasn’t sure what was going on. I knew I was attractive.

  As far as the other models went, I was probably in the middle cuteness-wise. There were some that were hotter than me and others who had a more boy-next-door bit going for them, but Preston and Roman had both said that no one did sweet and innocent like I did.

  But approaching the conversation from that angle would look even more ridiculous. I just wished I had some clue about who he might be interested in. Men, women, both, neither…He’d nodded at a few people but mostly just read his book.

  That just wasn’t enough information.

  By the time Wilder came back over to the table, I still hadn’t figured out what to do. I had to remind myself that no matter what happened, having someone new to hang out with and do things with would be a bonus. As much as he read, Wilder had to be a good conversationalist. I could always use more friends.

  Not that a part of me wouldn’t always be curious, though.

  “Here you go.” Wilder slid my hot chocolate across the table, smiling at me.

  “Thank you.”

  “So I might have happened to overhear you talking about plans for a date this weekend. Did you get that worked out?” Wilder grinned, clearly adapting to the idea that we were both nosy.

  I shook my head and peeled the lid off my drink. “No, thank goodness, it fell through. Evidently, his mother found out about the date and called things off.”

  Wilder look stumped. “Was he that young?”

  “No, he was in his mid-thirties. But he still lives with her, and she’s evidently a bit clingy. I’m not judgmental, but it felt a little bit weird. And thankfully, even my mother agreed.” I was hoping it would give me a break from her absurd matchmaking, but I probably wasn’t that lucky. Once she got an idea stuck in her head, it was like a song that wouldn’t go away.

  Wilder chuckled. “It sounds like you might have gotten lucky. I can’t imagine a relationship working with somebody like that breathing down your neck.”

  I nodded. I’d been utterly relieved when my mother had called. “Yeah, I have a feeling I dodged a bullet there.”

  “At least it’s good that your mother is trying.”

  “A little bit too hard, but yeah, the whole gay thing never upset her.” I knew I was lucky, but I also knew that she could drive a nun to drink.

  That seemed to give Wilder an opening because he nodded and took a sip of his drink before setting it down and leaning back in his chair. “So did you always know you were gay? Or is that a stupid question?”

  I didn’t care if it was a stupid question or not, as long as it gave me information about him. Shaking my head, I blew on my hot chocolate before answering. “It’s not a stupid question. It was never a surprise or a big revelation to me. I basically just always knew.”

  Taking a sip, I glanced up at him, curious if he would lead into his own story. Wilder took a drink of his coffee and nodded. “Do you think it’s always that easy?”

  Now that was an interesting question. “Is knowing you’re gay always easy?”

  He nodded slowly. “Or bi, yes.”

  I tried to think about how to answer his question. I knew it wasn’t just hypothetical. Something in his face said he was taking it very seriously. “Probably not. I know a lot of guys who questioned how to identify themselves for a long time. A couple of the guys at work are bi; they seemed to find it the hardest, but maybe it’s just how it sounded to me. Being gay or straight is clearer cut than being bi or something less easy to define. I know when I was growing up you were either gay or straight, there wasn’t anything in between. Even my mother, who was trying to do her best, jumped from girls to guys without asking if I might like both.”

  I gestured to his tattoos. “Being artistic doesn’t help people to figure things out any easier. I saw the drawings you did. They were very good. Roman, one of the photographers I work with, he said something one time about how beautiful the human body is. He wasn’t talking about sex, but it would probably make things harder to sort out when you’re young.”

  “I hadn’t thought about it like that.” Wilder took another sip of his coffee and nodded slowly, turning things over in his head.

  If I hadn’t watched him read so often, I might have thought he wasn’t paying attention, but I’d seen that look before. He would pause sometimes and just stare out the window or even at the wall, not seeing what was there but lost in his thoughts.

  Finally, his gaze came back into focus. “Would you like to go out to dinner tomorrow night? I’d like a chance to get to know you better.”

  “Like a date?” Not my most intelligent question, but it made Wilder smile and cut some of the tension I hadn’t realized was building.

  “Yes, like a date.”

  I was being asked out by the sexiest, most interesting guy I’d met in a long time. I still couldn’t believe it. “Yes, sounds like fun.”

  I was so going to buy a lottery ticket on the way home from work.

  Chapter 5

  Wilder

  “You’ve been home for hours and didn’t call.”

  I knew I shouldn’t have answered the phone. My mind had been elsewhere, though, and I’d just answered it out of habit. Gray hadn’t even let me say hello before he’d charged right in. Sighing, I moved away from the table and stood up. “I thought we were supposed to ask about the weather and make small talk. Isn’t that what I was lectured about?”

  He just ignored me. “Did you talk to him? What happened?”

  Nosy shit. “I talked to him, yes.”

  From the frustrated noise he made, Gray didn’t seem to think I was as funny as I did. “Did you say excuse me when you bumped into him, or did you actually have a conversation with him? Don’t make me call in the cavalry. I’m sure somebody we went to school with lives near there.”

  That was a terrible threat, and I didn’t want to see if he would actually follow through with it. I liked my privacy too much. “No need to haul out the big guns. I invited him to sit down and have coffee with me when he walked into the coffee shop. I surprised him, and he was a little bit embarrassed that I knew, but it was nice. He’s interesting and a good conversationalist.”

  I also liked the fact that he noticed things. Not just the typical points like how I dressed and what I looked like, but things like the reading and the interaction with those kids. He’d paid attention, and not just on a superficial level. It made me want to learn more about him.

  Gray laughed. “I think surprised might be an understatement.”

  Probably.

  Horrified would be a better word, but I simply made a noncommittal noise and ignored it since it wasn’t a question. “We actually have a date this weekend. I’m going to take him out to dinner.”

  “So I guess yo
u solved the question of whether or not you’re bi?”

  “At this point, let’s just say that I’m keeping my options open, and I’m getting to know someone who’s interesting.”

  Eventually, I would have to figure out who I was…or maybe that wasn’t even the right way to think about it. I knew who I was. I just needed to figure out a new piece of myself. People seemed to think that who they were was like a puzzle. There was a defined edge and everything about them should fit in the picture.

  Maybe it was a puzzle, but it wasn’t as complete as everyone expected.

  It was a never-ending puzzle where you discovered sections that may not have been there the day before because it was always growing…we were always growing.

  Gray either understood or wasn’t going to press because he switched topics again. “What kind of things have you discovered about the lingerie model already?” There was a hint of laughter in his voice, but I could tell he wasn’t being flippant.

  “He’s articulate and didn’t just notice the tattoos. Anytime I asked him a question, he took it seriously and thought about how to answer it. I think he’s going to be someone I enjoy getting to know.” That didn’t exactly sound romantic, or even sexual, but the fact that I’d spent the last hour sketching him said there was more on my mind than just the possibility of a new friendship.

  “But does he like the tattoos? He’s not thrown by the difference between the exterior and the interior—but does he like the architecture?”

  “I’m not a building.”

  Gray chuckled. “No, but you’re built like a house so the analogy works. And don’t change the subject.”

  “I think the fact that he noticed me and found me attractive is evident.” Gray didn’t need to know that I could almost feel Lane’s hands tracing over my tattoos. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that and I wasn’t sure there was a way to explain it to Gray.

  There was too much going on in my head.

  Unfortunately, Gray wasn’t going to leave it at that. “What do you think about the idea of him finding you attractive?”

  “People notice me all the time. If I wanted to blend into the background, I wouldn’t have visible tattoos. Besides, I’m not completely in the dark that gay men have found me attractive in the past.” But there had always been a layer of separation between me and anyone else who’d just noticed the tattoos. Man or woman, it didn’t matter. It was almost like they were admiring artwork. Except, in this case, there was a living, breathing canvas behind it.

  But Lane had noticed the canvas as well.

  “There’s a difference between some random guy eyeing your biceps and actually dating a man.” I could almost hear Gray rolling his eyes.

  “I’m not a moron. I realize that.”

  “But did you realize that if he was shy enough that you needed to make the first move, you were also going to need to make the first moves on other things?” He said it carefully and I couldn’t decide if he thought he was breaking it to me gently or if he thought I was an idiot. Either way, I wasn’t sure I appreciated it.

  Because yes, that thought had occurred to me while we were having coffee.

  “It just means he’s not going to be the type to rush me.” Most of the mechanics weren’t going to be that unfamiliar. I’d had sex with women and had technically fooled around with guys. I also had a penis, which should be helpful.

  Just because I’d never kissed a man didn’t mean it would be like kissing an alien.

  “He’s not from another planet.”

  Gray chuckled. “Don’t you remember, men are from Mars and women are from Venus, so technically you’re kissing a member of your own species, not an alien.”

  “See. That’s what I said.”

  His voice grew softer, and the humor faded away. “But a kiss at the end of the first date is very different from letting some guy jerk you off when you’re drunk.”

  “I hope so. He spilled his beer on my shoes.” It was my turn to roll my eyes.

  Gray chuckled. “You’ll never let me live that down. It was just a little bit, and those shoes washed out.”

  I would remind him of that night until he was too old for even little blue pills to work. “That is not the point. But I don’t picture him as the type to get wasted on a date, so I think I’m good.”

  “You never know, it’s the quiet ones you have to worry about.” The laughter in Gray’s voice said he was secretly wishing terrible or kinky things on me.

  Probably both.

  “It’s just a first date. He seems functional and like he has a good head on his shoulders. I’m not worried about it.” Aside from the stalking thing, there wasn’t anything about Lane that made me uneasy. I was nervous, and slightly uncomfortable if I was being honest, but nothing about him said creepy or weird.

  As for the kinky part, there would be time to figure that out later.

  “You said he models lingerie for a living. What was he wearing at Starbucks? I’m just curious, not judging, so no offense meant.” I had to admit that if the situation were reversed, I’d be curious as well.

  I wasn’t sure how separate his work life was from his home life, but asking that the first time we actually spoke seemed rude. If it wasn’t something I’d ask a woman on the first date, I thought it’d be a good idea not to question a man about it. Asking what kind of underwear a woman wore would get me slapped, or arrested possibly, so I wasn’t going to ask Lane.

  “Slim-fitting jeans and a T-shirt. He’s lean, and everything fits tighter than most of my straight friends would wear but nothing that said overtly feminine.” A lot of people had jobs where they did things they wouldn’t normally do in their personal life. Just because he wore feminine things on the website didn’t mean he brought that into his personal life.

  Right?

  “Would it make a difference to you if he was wearing something like that under his clothes or when he was at home?” Gray had spoken carefully, and I knew he was trying to make sure I’d looked at things from every angle. That didn’t mean the question was easy, however.

  “I don’t know. It’s never made a difference when I dated women, so I can’t see how it would with a guy.” I started pacing around the kitchen and finally just shrugged. “Eventually you end up naked, so everything else is really just decoration.”

  Gray snickered. “So you don’t care how the present is dressed up as long as you get to play with it?”

  That sounded dirtier than I’d intended. “That’s not exactly what I meant.”

  Well, it kind of was, but the way he’d said it was filled with more innuendo than I’d planned. He laughed. “I’m going to have so much fun wrapping your Christmas present this year. You have no idea.”

  Lord, what had I gotten myself into?

  “Just don’t scare my mailman. I already make him nervous.” He was a cautious little thing that always went in the opposite direction every time he saw me coming. I felt like a big dog in a yard that just wanted to say hi but scared the hell out of the guy no matter what I did. It was a little bit disconcerting. I couldn’t imagine what he’d do if Gray got too creative.

  “I’ll wrap it in plain paper before I send it. Nothing scandalous.”

  Just what I needed. Plain paper packages arriving at my house. It’d look like I was ordering weird shit online. That would make the mailman feel so much better. “Don’t get me arrested or make my mailman refuse to come back. That’s all I’m asking.”

  I was going to end up on the news because of one of his jokes. I could already see it.

  Gray laughed, not sounding sincere in the least. “I promise.”

  I snorted. “I know better than to trust you when it comes to something like this.”

  “Because you’re smart.” Then his tone turned more serious. “But you know you can trust me if you need to talk to me about anything, right?”

  “Of course.” Gray might have been the guy who’d instigated all the crazy when we were in college but he was also the
guy who’d do anything for a friend. “It’s just a first date.”

  It was just a first date.

  * * * * *

  There were better things to do on a first date than dinner, but I hadn’t been able to think of anything else. I’d thought about the movies, but I wanted a chance to get to know him. I wasn’t sure why it was so difficult. In the past, I hadn’t thought twice about going to dinner with someone on the first date. It was easy, an instinctual invitation when I thought about dating someone.

  Was I worried about impressing Lane?

  No. He hadn’t seemed to be the type of person who would care where we ate.

  Was it because he was a guy?

  That was harder, but I didn’t think so. The last time I’d remembered being as nervous over a first date was back in high school. It felt like a lifetime ago, but I’d been nervous and excited and it had felt like small gremlins had invaded my stomach. Amy. I thought she’d been perfect. We’d dated for about a month, which seemed like a lifetime back then.

  Something about Lane made me want to smile and find out more about him. I was excited, and a little bit nervous. But it was like the way every cell would tense right before the roller coaster started to reach the top of the hill. It wasn’t bad, but it was still stressful.

  My phone call with Gray hadn’t been very long, but it had been just distracting enough to keep me from focusing on my work. But it also gave me an excuse to text Lane. He’d said he wasn’t much of a night owl when we’d traded numbers, so I hadn’t wanted to wait too late to text him. I’d hoped to get more work done before we spoke, but Gray had killed my focus earlier than I’d planned.

  Swiping my finger across the screen, I tried not to overthink it as I brought up Lane’s name in my contacts.

  I hope the rest of your day went well. Are we still on for dinner tomorrow?

  Hitting send, I ignored how stilted the message felt. I wasn’t sure how long it would take for Lane to respond, but when he texted back quickly, it felt like a weight was lifted off me.

  The day went great. No shoot today but I got a lot done on the blog. How was your day? And yes I still want to go to dinner.